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Post by stingfan on Jul 24, 2015 19:55:15 GMT
My family is involved in community theater. My husband is the producer of the show that's going on right now. All of my kids are in the show. I am in the orchestra and have been the rehearsal pianist. Dh has been gone working on this show 5-6 nights a week plus time on the weekends, generally coming home after midnight. I have been at rehearsals 3-4 days a week plus additional orchestra rehearsals. We're all volunteers. Members of the cast are collecting funds to give gifts to the production team. I think that includes producer, director, stage manager, and maybe a couple other people. There was a general email sent out. Then at rehearsal I was asked if I got the message, meaning please give me money  . I said I had but then asked if I was supposed to contribute to that. There was a lot going on, people everywhere, she didn't really respond to my question (kind of a 'well...'), we both went opposite ways, and that was the end of the conversation. Should I be contributing? When I got the email I didn't think it applied to me. But then when she asked, I thought maybe I was wrong. |
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by AnotherPea on Jul 24, 2015 19:57:46 GMT
so you'd be contributing to your own gift?
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Post by annabella on Jul 24, 2015 19:57:52 GMT
She didn't think about your level of work when she asked you to contribute. If I were you, I would not contribute. If she asks you again just make a polite comment that you didn't think she was asking you since you already volunteer so many hours.
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Post by stingfan on Jul 24, 2015 19:59:27 GMT
so you'd be contributing to your own gift? That's kind of how I felt about it  . |
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Post by rainangel on Jul 24, 2015 20:00:06 GMT
You and your family are already contributing a helluva lot I'd say It would seem odd to me to contribute money that would go towards my DH. Then again, it is also going towards other members of the team. This is a pickle.... I hope the other peas will make more sense  |
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Deleted
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May 14, 2024 17:02:40 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2015 20:05:39 GMT
Your DH is the producer, but you say the contribution is for gifts for the production team, which to me means people other than just your DH. If that's the case, I would contribute. If it's just s gift for your DH, I would not contribute.
Everyone else there who is being asked to contribute are also volunteers, right?
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Post by disneypal on Jul 24, 2015 20:06:00 GMT
Seems strange to contribute since you ARE part of the production team.
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Deleted
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May 14, 2024 17:02:40 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2015 20:07:24 GMT
Seems strange to contribute since you ARE part of the production team. But her kids are all cast members, and that's who the gifts are from. |
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moodyblue
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Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Jul 24, 2015 20:09:59 GMT
I think you would be contributing toward the gifts for the other members of the production team.
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Deleted
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May 14, 2024 17:02:40 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2015 20:10:14 GMT
I assume she's not included you in the "production team"  Did she think the piano played on its own when you were being the rehearsal pianist then? No I wouldn't be contributing and I would also be a bit hurt that she thought I wasn't part of the production team too. Being a rehearsal pianist is very time consuming and not an easy job. ETA Ah wait did she mean if you wanted to contribute on behalf of your kids or are they old enough to make their own contribution?. If so I would not make an additional contribution. |
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Jul 24, 2015 20:24:26 GMT
hmmm... your OP says they were collecting from 'members of the cast' and you're not actually in the cast. right?
But if they're collecting for gifts for the entire production team (which you're not part of, I guess)... then, your husband will be getting a gift for being the producer, right?
If both of the above are true, then the gift isn't really for both of you, it's for him as the producer.
So I could kind of see where you might be asked to contribute. In addition, you said the gifts are for the producer, stage director, etc. so some of the $$ contributed will go towards those gifts, as well. right?
eta: yeah-- I'm confused, now, too--
If the request for money is to be your kids' $$ contribution as cast members, I still think they should be contributing. The $$ is for gifts for all the production team, not just for your husband, and the gift is for the-producer-of-the-show (who just happens to be in your family) from the entire cast and crew. I don't think it would look right if no one in your family contributed to the gifts at all.
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Post by stingfan on Jul 24, 2015 20:26:22 GMT
My kids aren't old enough to contribute themselves. So I guess I could put in on their behalf. The other part of me feels like doing the whole orchestra/piano thing is my contribution since I wouldn't be doing it if they weren't in the show.
I'm probably being sort of petty at this point. Part of it is probably feeling under-appreciated. Like some of you said, she didn't seem to consider me to be a part of that team.
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Post by stingfan on Jul 24, 2015 20:28:27 GMT
hmmm... your OP says they were collecting from 'members of the cast' and you're not actually in the cast. right? The email starts out... Dear Cast,
It is tradition to show our appreciation for the production team to give them a gift at the end of the show...So I guess it would be more directed towards my kids than me. |
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Post by cmpeter on Jul 24, 2015 20:29:39 GMT
I would assume she was emailing all the parents of the kids and contribute.
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Deleted
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May 14, 2024 17:02:40 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2015 20:30:59 GMT
My kids aren't old enough to contribute themselves. So I guess I could put in on their behalf. The other part of me feels like doing the whole orchestra/piano thing is my contribution since I wouldn't be doing it if they weren't in the show. I'm probably being sort of petty at this point. Part of it is probably feeling under-appreciated. Like some of you said, she didn't seem to consider me to be a part of that team. I'm sorry you feel unappreciated. I know that's frustrating. Musicians have always been lumped in with the cast/performer side in productions I've been involved with, not the production side. |
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Post by anonrefugee on Jul 24, 2015 20:33:52 GMT
Remember you're contributing to other people's gifts too, and pay up. Even if it seems illogical since your DH will be a recipient. And you've worked hard too.
The potential "ungrateful cheapskate " label isn't worth the $.
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Post by stingfan on Jul 24, 2015 20:35:24 GMT
The potential "ungrateful cheapskate " label isn't worth the $. I think this is the point I'm getting to. I'll pay up tonight . Thanks for the input, everyone! |
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Post by originalvanillabean on Jul 24, 2015 20:36:14 GMT
She didn't think about your level of work when she asked you to contribute. If I were you, I would not contribute. If she asks you again just make a polite comment that you didn't think she was asking you since you already volunteer so many hours. this! |
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Post by anonrefugee on Jul 24, 2015 20:36:51 GMT
My kids aren't old enough to contribute themselves. So I guess I could put in on their behalf. The other part of me feels like doing the whole orchestra/piano thing is my contribution since I wouldn't be doing it if they weren't in the show. I'm probably being sort of petty at this point. Part of it is probably feeling under-appreciated. Like some of you said, she didn't seem to consider me to be a part of that team. I'm sorry it sucks. Coaches wives often feel the same way. The Coach gets the gift card, but it was wife who checked game schedules, ordered uniforms, lugged gear too. |
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Post by Basket1lady on Jul 24, 2015 20:52:25 GMT
I would contribute for the kids because it is going to others.
My DD is heavily involved in theatre and I do a lot of volunteering as well. Last year, I was the assistant parent in charge; this year, I am the head parent in charge. I still contribute when the hat gets passed around. Even though I've put in 40 hour weeks, helped cook a tech meal, brought in water and food for concessions, sewed costumes, cleaned dressing rooms... Many parents don't see that, they just see that I didn't give money. So I give. And I give, and I give... !
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Loydene
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Post by Loydene on Jul 24, 2015 20:55:27 GMT
I've done a little community theater -- a long time ago -- I think it is time for that "tradition" to stop. Cast members are also volunteers; all volunteers are giving their time and talent for their own reasons. I think it is a big silly for one volunteer group to be required to dip into their pockets for another volunteer group. Have a strike party and everyone thanks everyone else for their contribution.
Kids sports, are slightly analogous, but I think, are a bit different -- in my experience, my son's tennis coach (before high school) was a hired professional. He was paid what he asked for lessons, etc. He did organize a week long Camp and participated with the kids "on his own time" after dinner, etc. The "Moms" organized a gift "from the kids" for the coach: a written thank you from each kid, with photos of that season with a very nice gift card ... all packaged up with a cute little mini album (in which the last photo was the kids giving the coach the gift!). I know that the notes and the photos were the most prized of that thank you.
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Post by anonrefugee on Jul 24, 2015 22:16:50 GMT
The potential "ungrateful cheapskate " label isn't worth the $. I think this is the point I'm getting to. I'll pay up tonight . Thanks for the input, everyone! Just so you know - I get what you're saying. At one point I stopped participating in PTA fundraisers because it was same quantity of hours as a part time job. But many would call that cheap! Loydene I was talking about rec league coaches. Here they are mostly volunteers. Select and competitive club teams are only ones with salaried, full time coaches in our area. |
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scrapaddie
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Post by scrapaddie on Jul 24, 2015 22:51:16 GMT
wouldn't you want to contribute to gifts for the stage manager, etc.. all the people that your dh and you are not? I would go ahead and throw in my share
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Post by jamielynn on Jul 24, 2015 22:53:11 GMT
My impression is they are looking for your contribution on behalf of your kids who are on the cast. This will go to a gift for the "whole" production team including more than you and your husband. My guess is they have calculated the gifts to be given based off the amount of members in the cast (including your kids).
Is it typical to buy gifts for everyone with each production of a community theater? I know nothing about this in that regard if the question was more like is it necessary.
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. I said I had but then asked if I was supposed to contribute to that. There was a lot going on, people everywhere, she didn't really respond to my question (kind of a 'well...'), we both went opposite ways, and that was the end of the conversation.
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Did she think the piano played on its own when you were being the rehearsal pianist then?
