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Post by librarylady on Jul 24, 2015 23:12:42 GMT
How to make a change for the betterThere are lots of science-backed ways we can improve our overall well-being and grow happier in the long-run. Here are just a few: Meditate: Multiple studies suggest that meditating — focusing intently and quietly on the present for set periods of time — can help lessen feelings of depression and anxiety. Go outside: One study found that a group of students sent into the trees for two nights had lower levels of cortisol — a hormone often used as a marker for stress — than those who spent the same two nights in a city.
Get involved in cultural activities: A study that examined the anxiety, depression, and life satisfaction of over 50,000 adults in Norway offered an interesting link: People who participated in more cultural activities, like attending a play or joining a club, reported lower levels of anxiety and depression as well as a higher satisfaction with their overall quality of life. Spend money on others: A 2008 study gave 46 volunteers an envelope with money in it wherein half were instructed to spend the money on themselves and the other half put the money towards a charitable donation or gift for someone they knew. The volunteers recorded their happiness level before receiving the envelope and after spending the money by the end of that same day. Volunteer: In a recent review of 40 studies done over the last 20 years, researchers found that one activity was far more important than the rest for boosting psychological health: volunteering. This activity, the researchers reported, had been found in many volunteers to be linked with a reduced risk of depression, a higher amount of overall satisfaction, and even a reduced risk of death from of a physical illness as a consequence of mental distress. Conclusion: If you're looking to get a mood boost that'll last you in the long-term, focus on your state of mind in the present, be grateful for what you have, and stop to enjoy it! You'll thank yourself a few minutes — or a few years — down the road. finance.yahoo.com/news/glaring-misconception-could-preventing-long-144232262.html
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Post by librarylady on Jul 24, 2015 23:14:04 GMT
In short form: look outside yourself and your problems.
Easier said than done if you are drowning in a sea of despair....but, I think those ideas from the article have value.
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happymomma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078 
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Post by happymomma on Jul 25, 2015 0:55:58 GMT
Yes!
I'm living proof of some of these things!
Especially connecting with nature. I can feel the happiness rise up in me when I'm outside just walking in the woods or even watching animals across our property.
I also agree about doing good for others.
One to add: have a pet. Being responsible for caring for another living creature gives me purpose. Also, the love I get in return from my dog is an incredible feeling.
Thanks for this post!
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Jul 25, 2015 1:23:32 GMT
I read something similar last week. I do agree with most of these ideas, and we should remember that even tiny changes lead to big improvements over time.
I take a daily walk outside. My block has woods bordering it, and I love seeing vines grow, leaves change colors, etc. I feel much more peace from walking outside than on a treadmill!
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 25, 2015 11:54:57 GMT
Maybe I'm the only one to read it this way, but.....
You have to have at least a little financial flexibility to be able to do this & for it to work.
Meditate: "Focusing intently and quietly on the present" only helps relieve stress if your present isn't deep in debt, barely scraping by in life, multiple life problems, etc. If you are thinking intently on the reality of your present, and your present isn't anywhere close to good, it can be depressing.
Go Outside: Well, yes, if you don't live in the inner city, walking outside is great to relieve stress. Or if you have the money to afford the car and/or gas money to drive away from where you live to get to a haven of trees, it's great. But what about those who have no way of getting to an oasis of trees to relieve their stress? Go walk in an inner city park full of graffiti, drug needles, broken glass, and melted plastic playground equipment? Doesn't always work.
Get involved in cultural activities: Yes, if you can afford to go see a play, or even have time to take off from your two jobs, plus taking care of your kids to go join a club, that could reduce your stress. But otherwise.... nope.
Spend money on others: In the study they gave money to the participants to spend on others (or themselves). In reality, spending money on others is not a possibility when you do not have enough to cover your basic costs.
Volunteer: This is doable, but difficult for those who have multiple jobs just to make ends meet, and also have kids they'd like to spend time with.
Overall, I took this as an article giving examples to the middle class and above on how to de-stress. Which is good, if it fits you.
If not, it is just more depressing to read how I can't afford to de-stress.
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Post by mrsscrapdiva on Jul 25, 2015 13:20:56 GMT
omg - this is me going for a "ride". I get a coffee, turn up the music and drive. Especially when I don't have much to do (as in errands) and I just need to get out. Some would say why don't you go for a walk, it is just not the same. Sometimes you need to escape and get outside yourself and your problems. Let go a little. As far as money - meditating is free. I have a good mind body connection and love energy / deep breathing for relaxation. I tell everyone they should do deep breathing because sometimes it works better than taking an Ativan. Walking/Nature is free. Volunteering is free. And the library and the bank have free passes for local musuems. Life is all what you make of it  |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Jul 25, 2015 15:23:51 GMT
omg - this is me going for a "ride". I get a coffee, turn up the music and drive. Especially when I don't have much to do (as in errands) and I just need to get out. Some would say why don't you go for a walk, it is just not the same. Sometimes you need to escape and get outside yourself and your problems. Let go a little. As far as money - meditating is free. I have a good mind body connection and love energy / deep breathing for relaxation. I tell everyone they should do deep breathing because sometimes it works better than taking an Ativan. Walking/Nature is free. Volunteering is free. And the library and the bank have free passes for local musuems. Life is all what you make of it You are a glass half full type - I like it! Sure, meditating is free. But the article had said to think of the present. Some people's present isn't a rose garden. Yes, walking and nature is free. Have you ever lived in a place so far away from nature that you'd have to drive a good distance to get there? Have you ever been so broke that you didn't have a car to drive to nature? Or you had a car, but couldn't justify "wasting" money to drive to nature when you knew you couldn't afford to put more gas in the car for another few days until you got paid again, and you still needed to drive to and from work. Volunteering is free, but time is worth money, and for some, volunteering instead of working those hours isn't something they can afford. Define "local museums." I've lived in places where there wasn't a museum for 90 miles in any direction. And even if you are fortunate enough to live in a city where there are museums, and fortunate enough to have banks and libraries that offer free admittance passes for those museums, there is still the cost of actually getting to the museum. Either your own car & gas, or public transportation. So, although I love reading your optimistic view, I do still stand by my post that the article was written for those with some leeway in the finances. |
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Post by scrapnatya on Jul 25, 2015 16:08:53 GMT
I am generally a happy person. Yes, a glass half-full person. IMO, meditating has nothing to do with focusing on your present circumstances but being PRESENT in a moment in time. It takes practice to do this. The idea is not to think. Just be. I believe in gratitude as the key to happiness. I am grateful for this body. It gets up and goes every single day. I am grateful for the sun shining in the sky or the rain because the earth needs moisture. I am grateful for air conditioning and my morning coffee and the butterfly I saw earlier. There is beauty everywhere, even in an urban setting. Even when finances are strangled. Whenever worry enters into my mind about finances, this is what I say."Thank you for putting me in the abundant flow of the universe." I release the positive thought into the universe as if it has already happened. And I release the worry. This is called manifesting.  A change in perspective is key to FEELING the gratitude and happiness. The circumstances of my present are NOT rainbows and unicorns by society's measuring stick ( but I can feel that way because I believe that our words and thoughts create our reality). LavenderLayoutLady I'm thinking maybe you maybe are a glass half empty person. It's interesting how you picked apart anything that could be a positive with a negative. I'm not calling you out. I just thought it was interesting. |
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purplebee
Drama Llama
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Post by purplebee on Jul 25, 2015 16:55:52 GMT
Yes, if you can train yourself - and for most, it is a conscious effort to do this when things are not ideal - to look for the good stuff that keeps the glass half full instead of half empty, it makes for a much happier outlook. But sometimes it is difficult to do. As I get older, I am working harder to be more consistently positive and tolerant, and to let things go. Look for the good that surrounds you. I love my rural lifestyle, yeah even with the ticks and chiggers and humidity and tornado season, but I can also revel in the urban side of it and the things that life in New York and the metropolitan area has to offer when I go back to Long Island every year to visit my family.
But I do think you are the way you are. My Dh tends towards a more negative outlook on life, and sometimes tells me I am a Pollyanna. But I try to do the best with what I have.
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Post by rst on Jul 25, 2015 17:16:03 GMT
I read a book Anatomy of Bliss, which was about what qualities or outlooks make for a happy outlook. The happiest people studied had very little material wealth, had suffered terrible natural catastrophes and health issues, but were able to extend generosity and were characterized by contentment.
The most unhappy people outlined were those who found no joy in life except in lording it over someone who was worse off than they were.
It's a good read, and the audio book is a great way to get through it.
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Post by jenjie on Jul 25, 2015 17:22:09 GMT
Have you heard this story?
"A father had 2 sons - one was a pessimist, one was an optimist. One day he gave them both a gift. He gave the pessimist a room full of toys, the optimist a room full of horse manure. When he came back the next day, the pessimist was crying "All these toys will eventually break and then I'll have nothing to play with" he wailed.
Meanwhile the optimist was diving around happily in his room full of manure with a big smile on his face.
"Why are you so happy? asked the father
"Well Dad, I figure with all this manure around there must be a horse here somewhere!"
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Post by flanz on Jul 25, 2015 17:29:06 GMT
Love that jenjie! Thanks! And hugs to you as you are moving forward in your life. xo |
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Post by jenjie on Jul 25, 2015 18:49:53 GMT
Love that jenjie! Thanks! And hugs to you as you are moving forward in your life. xo Thank you |
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Post by librarylady on Jul 25, 2015 19:05:36 GMT
Maybe I'm the only one to read it this way, but..... You have to have at least a little financial flexibility to be able to do this & for it to work. Meditate: "Focusing intently and quietly on the present" only helps relieve stress if your present isn't deep in debt, barely scraping by in life, multiple life problems, etc. If you are thinking intently on the reality of your present, and your present isn't anywhere close to good, it can be depressing. Go Outside: Well, yes, if you don't live in the inner city, walking outside is great to relieve stress. Or if you have the money to afford the car and/or gas money to drive away from where you live to get to a haven of trees, it's great. But what about those who have no way of getting to an oasis of trees to relieve their stress? Go walk in an inner city park full of graffiti, drug needles, broken glass, and melted plastic playground equipment? Doesn't always work. Get involved in cultural activities: Yes, if you can afford to go see a play, or even have time to take off from your two jobs, plus taking care of your kids to go join a club, that could reduce your stress. But otherwise.... nope. Spend money on others: In the study they gave money to the participants to spend on others (or themselves). In reality, spending money on others is not a possibility when you do not have enough to cover your basic costs. Volunteer: This is doable, but difficult for those who have multiple jobs just to make ends meet, and also have kids they'd like to spend time with. Overall, I took this as an article giving examples to the middle class and above on how to de-stress. Which is good, if it fits you. If not, it is just more depressing to read how I can't afford to de-stress. Valid points... I know when I was reading it, I thought, "What if I can barely eat? I can't be picking up the tab for other people." But, meditating can be done anywhere........The rest of those could have too many barriers to be easily accomplished. |
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
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Location: Western Illinois
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Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Jul 25, 2015 19:19:11 GMT
LavenderLayoutLady I'm thinking maybe you maybe are a glass half empty person. It's interesting how you picked apart anything that could be a positive with a negative. I'm not calling you out. I just thought it was interesting. It might well be that LavenderLayoutLady is a glass half empty person - or maybe not. I think I generally am optimistic, and I was mentally nodding my head with all the original points. But, in reading what LavenderLayoutLady posted I also found myself mentally agreeing, because while those ideas/activities listed are easily available to ME, they may not be so available to some other people. Maybe her post demonstrated that she was thinking in more global ways, about people of all types and circumstances, and didn't just read it for how it might apply to herself? Just wondering - if you can see things both ways, are you glass half-full or glass half-empty, or something else??? |
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Post by jenjie on Jul 26, 2015 13:50:22 GMT
Read this from top to bottom and then from bottom to top. It was in my FB feed this morning
]"Worst Day Ever?" By Chanie Gorkin
Today was the absolute worst day ever
And don't try to convince me that
There's something good in every day
Because, when you take a closer look,
This world is a pretty evil place.
Even if
Some goodness does shine through once in a while
Satisfaction and happiness don't last.
And it's not true that
It's all in the mind and heart
Because
True happiness can be obtained
Only if one's surroundings are good
It's not true that good exists
I'm sure you can agree that
The reality
Creates
My attitude
It's all beyond my control
And you'll never in a million years hear me say that
Today was a good day
**Now read from the bottom to top.
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Deleted
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Jul 7, 2024 6:15:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2015 15:13:26 GMT
Maybe I'm the only one to read it this way, but..... You have to have at least a little financial flexibility to be able to do this & for it to work. Meditate: "Focusing intently and quietly on the present" only helps relieve stress if your present isn't deep in debt, barely scraping by in life, multiple life problems, etc. If you are thinking intently on the reality of your present, and your present isn't anywhere close to good, it can be depressing. Go Outside: Well, yes, if you don't live in the inner city, walking outside is great to relieve stress. Or if you have the money to afford the car and/or gas money to drive away from where you live to get to a haven of trees, it's great. But what about those who have no way of getting to an oasis of trees to relieve their stress? Go walk in an inner city park full of graffiti, drug needles, broken glass, and melted plastic playground equipment? Doesn't always work. Get involved in cultural activities: Yes, if you can afford to go see a play, or even have time to take off from your two jobs, plus taking care of your kids to go join a club, that could reduce your stress. But otherwise.... nope. Spend money on others: In the study they gave money to the participants to spend on others (or themselves). In reality, spending money on others is not a possibility when you do not have enough to cover your basic costs. Volunteer: This is doable, but difficult for those who have multiple jobs just to make ends meet, and also have kids they'd like to spend time with. Overall, I took this as an article giving examples to the middle class and above on how to de-stress. Which is good, if it fits you. If not, it is just more depressing to read how I can't afford to de-stress. Focusing on the present doesn't mean thinking about your money problems, it means thinking about THIS SECOND, right now. As in, right this very SECOND you are breathing in, and breathing out. And that's it. I don't live in an *inner* city, but I do live in a city and go for a 45 minute walk 6 times a week. I walk in my neighbourhood... as in, houses and sidewalks and traffic. It is a HUGE stress relief and refresher. You don't need to drive to a forest to walk. I am totally getting where you are coming from regarding time and money seeming prohibitive, but not all of those things you listed need to be done in the way you described. A hardworking mom balancing 2 jobs can sit mindfully for 2 minutes on her bus ride to work to meditate and clear her mind. It really does help. |
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Deleted
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Jul 7, 2024 6:15:59 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 26, 2015 15:27:52 GMT
Maybe I'm the only one to read it this way, but..... You have to have at least a little financial flexibility to be able to do this & for it to work. Meditate: "Focusing intently and quietly on the present" only helps relieve stress if your present isn't deep in debt, barely scraping by in life, multiple life problems, etc. If you are thinking intently on the reality of your present, and your present isn't anywhere close to good, it can be depressing. Go Outside: Well, yes, if you don't live in the inner city, walking outside is great to relieve stress. Or if you have the money to afford the car and/or gas money to drive away from where you live to get to a haven of trees, it's great. But what about those who have no way of getting to an oasis of trees to relieve their stress? Go walk in an inner city park full of graffiti, drug needles, broken glass, and melted plastic playground equipment? Doesn't always work. Get involved in cultural activities: Yes, if you can afford to go see a play, or even have time to take off from your two jobs, plus taking care of your kids to go join a club, that could reduce your stress. But otherwise.... nope. Spend money on others: In the study they gave money to the participants to spend on others (or themselves). In reality, spending money on others is not a possibility when you do not have enough to cover your basic costs. Volunteer: This is doable, but difficult for those who have multiple jobs just to make ends meet, and also have kids they'd like to spend time with. Overall, I took this as an article giving examples to the middle class and above on how to de-stress. Which is good, if it fits you. If not, it is just more depressing to read how I can't afford to de-stress. When I was newly divorced, working a job that paid $8 an hour, getting my groceries from a food bank, and living in a homeless shelter.. this was the advice given to me by a licensed therapist (I did have insurance) Even in the desperation of my life at that moment the points WERE do-able. I found those without enough to cover their own needs were the quickest to offer to cover my needs. But I hear more about being depressed among people who have resources but don't want to make an effort. When I was living among the homeless and extremely poor they didnt' have the luxury of wallowing in depression. They should have been the most depressed as a group. |
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Post by jenjie on Jul 26, 2015 17:52:25 GMT
Maybe I'm the only one to read it this way, but..... You have to have at least a little financial flexibility to be able to do this & for it to work. Meditate: "Focusing intently and quietly on the present" only helps relieve stress if your present isn't deep in debt, barely scraping by in life, multiple life problems, etc. If you are thinking intently on the reality of your present, and your present isn't anywhere close to good, it can be depressing. Go Outside: Well, yes, if you don't live in the inner city, walking outside is great to relieve stress. Or if you have the money to afford the car and/or gas money to drive away from where you live to get to a haven of trees, it's great. But what about those who have no way of getting to an oasis of trees to relieve their stress? Go walk in an inner city park full of graffiti, drug needles, broken glass, and melted plastic playground equipment? Doesn't always work. Get involved in cultural activities: Yes, if you can afford to go see a play, or even have time to take off from your two jobs, plus taking care of your kids to go join a club, that could reduce your stress. But otherwise.... nope. Spend money on others: In the study they gave money to the participants to spend on others (or themselves). In reality, spending money on others is not a possibility when you do not have enough to cover your basic costs. Volunteer: This is doable, but difficult for those who have multiple jobs just to make ends meet, and also have kids they'd like to spend time with. Overall, I took this as an article giving examples to the middle class and above on how to de-stress. Which is good, if it fits you. If not, it is just more depressing to read how I can't afford to de-stress. When I was newly divorced, working a job that paid $8 an hour, getting my groceries from a food bank, and living in a homeless shelter.. this was the advice given to me by a licensed therapist (I did have insurance) Even in the desperation of my life at that moment the points WERE do-able. I found those without enough to cover their own needs were the quickest to offer to cover my needs. But I hear more about being depressed among people who have resources but don't want to make an effort. When I was living among the homeless and extremely poor they didnt' have the luxury of wallowing in depression. They should have been the most depressed as a group. [ Now that you mention it... I have seen this myself. There was a fund set up for my kids education. We have been blessed by quite a few donations. But the ones that truly touched me were the ones that came from people who I know don't have two nickels to rub together. Yet they still wanted to do something to help us. Somehow they made a way. It may not be that you do something all the time but that if there is a special need and you think I can help in some small way. I can see it being a huge boost to your own self esteem knowing you were able to help someone. |
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Post by peasapie on Jul 26, 2015 18:18:32 GMT
I think these points are excellent. I would add: do something nice for yourself every day. It is something I learned in therapy after spending most of my time doing things for others -- my students, my family, my friends. I was running on empty. As far as the other points, even if we have no extra money, there is always something we can give to another, and it doesn't have to be actual cash. Bringing a piece of cake to a lonely neighbor and spending five minutes with them, or even just bringing unused clothes to the Salvation Army gives a feeling of well-being.(I don't have money to give away - wish I did! - but I always feel good when I am kind to someone.) As far as meditation - you let all thoughts go except the exact present moment. Not how your life looks to you at the present time but this. exact. moment. You learn to push all other thoughts out of your mind. This is something you can learn online, on you tube, for example. Happiness and gratitude are a practice, one that needs to be exercised like a muscle. The more we do, the better we feel and the easier it gets. Thanks for the reminder. |
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