Dear Abby

I think all we can do is the best we can with what we have. We don't see many of our extended family very often either, so there won't be all that many photos of them in my scrapbooks simply because I don't have the photos to use.

It looks like the resentment started earlier and possibly even elsewhere, though I understand her feelings.

Our family lives close enough that we spend time with both grandparents. I take substantially less pictures at my in-laws. I really didn't want this to make it look like I love my in-laws less. I certainly don't! I won the lottery when it came to in-laws!

So I evaluated. Was it because we go there second and there are less gifts passed around? (They leave the gifts for the kids to open Christmas Morning) Am I too busy chatting? Less "kodak moments"?

I think yes to the first 2. I have tried to compensate by taking more photos during our other visits. It really helps that my MIL emails her pictures she has taken to me and I return the favor.

I think it would be too much pressure and too forced to try to keep things even. Anyone keep a chart to do so? Lol I do for my kids LOs.

Another thought, what if this was your scrapbooks and this is your MIL? Perhaps you could Scrap those pictures you have of them and add them in. Give photo gifts to her for the next several holidays. And apologize sincerely!

  This is me also. I have to make a conscious effort to include myself in pictures. There are a few years in the kids' lives that it lookes like I went on permanent vacation judging by the pictures.
My father was the same. A hobby photographer never gets much cameratime himself.

Maybe I am a bit haphazard and random in my scrapping, but I will usually make a page with the pictures I have on hand. A few times a year I will get a new batch of pictures printed, but I haven't even considered that I have to include 'everyone'! My scrapbooks are mainly for my children to see, so it's mostly about them.

ETA: It does seem odd to completely ignore one side of the family in 'memory books', and include the other side. I pretty much ignore everyone and only have 'memory books' with pictures of the kids  
(I am not sure if I like the term 'memory books', I have never used that as a way to describe what I do. But it does describe it pretty well. I just call the albums or scrapbooks)

I try to include both sides, but honestly, we don't see DH's siblings much. We see MIL every week to take to church, but she makes no effort to see the our grandchildren when they are in town. We are lucky to get one picture per year of her with her great-grandchildren.

I do make her a year-in-review photobook every year that I know she likes.

Same with me. I take nearly all the family pictures,plus I hate getting my picture taken or having to look at pictures of myself, so there are very few pictures of me at all and fewer still in the albums (because I don't scrap pictures of me). there are the wedding pics and pics of me holding my kids as babies, but after that, there are very few pictures I'm in.

Sometimes I think working moms like to gloss over how much other people do because they wish it was them doing it

I can understand the grandma feeling so sad about that. It sucks, I would pay so much money if a scrapbook containing my life with both sets of my grandparents could be bought.that would be so incredibly valuable to me now

I gotta be honest, I rarely take (and even more rarely scrap) any pics of my kids with my MIL. She is just...ugh...a piece of work. Her own siblings and mother, her daughter, and her grown grandchildren all have very little to do with her. We allowed her in our lives and our kid's lives for 6 years, with one problem after another. Finally recently we said screw it, you're out. It makes me feel bad for my kids to not have their grandma in their life, but it can't be helped right now. But even when she was around, I didn't scrap pages with her. I'm the one scrapping, and I don't like her. I'm sorry, but it's hard to do a page with photos of someone you can hardly stand.

[quote author="gramma" source="/post/688902/thread" timestamp="1438100937" Now when I do them I keep telling myself "It's the boys' lives - It's the boys' lives - Not yours, Gramma, not yours"  Those pictures break my heart every time I handle them.
[/quote]
I get that, I do. BUT, it's my scrapbook and my time. I don't make the scrapbooks for my kids or my MIL. I make them for me. Because I enjoy creating. Because I enjoy looking through them. I don't want to scrap pages that to don't enjoy. I know it's somewhat selfish, but to me it's no different that telling readers that they have to read a certain book even if it's not their genre, or telling a sportsman that he had to learn ballet because it's considered a sport. It's my hobby and what I choose to do for fun...so I'm selfish about it. (By the way, totally not directing that entire statement at you!! just started replying to your comment and got sidetracked lol.)

Interesting. Based on what I'm reading from this, the DIL takes photos with the grandma but just doesn't include them in her albums. And if it's true at how much stuff she does to help out the DIL with the kids, it is kinda crappy she's not in any of the albums.

Personally, I don't have many photos of either sets of my son's grandparents in my albums. But not for a lack of trying...but none of them are really cooperative about it.

Also, anonrefugee I completely agree with you. Get in the photos you take of your kids. Even if it's a selfie.

that is weird especially since she is so involved in the kids lives. When the kids look back at those I wonder if they will ask their mom about it, I would. Why isnt so and so in any of these??

I wish I had more pictures of me with my mom and my grandma but they were the ones always taking the photos, those are the pictures/memories I would cherish, not reading about what I did that day for a random scrapbook page.