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Post by donna on Jul 28, 2015 19:16:50 GMT
Reading Heidi Swapp's blog post yesterday really brought a lot of emotion to the surface for me. I am very sad today and am on the verge of crying constantly. It has been 27 1/2 years. You would think I could read about the loss of a stranger's son to suicide and not be taken back to my sister's death. My sister's birthday is August 22nd. She would have been 47 this year. She will always be 19 in my mind.
I have asked my dh to take me to see Trainwreck tonight. I need a laugh to try to get out of this funk.
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Post by gailoh on Jul 28, 2015 19:18:49 GMT
I know what you mean on something triggering a memory of ours...it happens to me as well...hugs to you
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Jul 28, 2015 19:19:01 GMT
hugs.
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828 
Location: Ontario,Canada
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Post by oldcrow on Jul 28, 2015 19:19:12 GMT
I hope the movie lifts your spirits. Hugs to you.
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conchita
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,141
Jul 1, 2014 11:25:58 GMT
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Post by conchita on Jul 28, 2015 19:25:54 GMT
Time doesn't erase loss and your love for your sister continues growing despite her absence. Your heartfelt grief truly honors your sisterly bond. Sending you big hugs, you can cry ugly on the Refupeas shoulders anytime you need to. We got and "get" you!
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Post by rainangel on Jul 28, 2015 19:26:34 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. Some moments are just scorched into our souls forever and will never let go. Sometimes I feel the reminders are a bittersweet thing. I am sad that all those feelings of immense loss comes back, full force. But I am also grateful for a flood of vivid memories about my lost one. I hope you enjoy the movie  |
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Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
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Post by Mystie on Jul 28, 2015 19:27:45 GMT
I am so sorry you're having all that pain brought back so fresh and sharply.
My good friend's son committed suicide in January. He was almost 19, and I'd known him since he was a little guy. He was such a great kid. I am still grieving for him and trying to be a support to my friend. Cory Swapp's death definitely brought that grief to the forefront for me, too.
I think it's a good idea to get out and see a funny movie to refresh your spirits. I hope that tomorrow will be a lighter day and that you can find your happiness again.
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Post by wordsmith on Jul 28, 2015 19:30:18 GMT
I'm sorry you're struggling. For me, I find it's so much easier to push memories aside to get through the days. So when something pushed it right up to the surface it's difficult to hold back.
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Post by lily on Jul 28, 2015 19:30:59 GMT
I'm Sorry. I know how you feel. Our son died from suicide at 19 also. I can't even go read her blog post.
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Post by anniefb on Jul 28, 2015 19:59:35 GMT
So sorry to hear you're struggling today - sending prayers and positive thoughts to you - hugs.
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Post by PEArfect on Jul 28, 2015 20:02:07 GMT
I'm sorry. I hope the movie lifts your spirits.
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Deleted
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May 28, 2024 23:14:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 20:03:14 GMT
I'm so sorry.  I become very emotional when I think about Heidi Swapp's son, and I can't imagine how it must refresh those painful memories for you. |
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 28, 2015 20:05:53 GMT
donna I am so sorry you are struggling today. I'm happy you have a plan. I lost my brother at a very young age. I still have moments. His 51st birthday would have been Sunday. lily I have no words...just a gentle cyber hug.
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craftykitten
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Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Jul 28, 2015 20:11:32 GMT
I am so sorry, for all of you. I wish I could do more than send ((hugs)).
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Post by gar on Jul 28, 2015 20:13:12 GMT
I'm sorry.
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jayfab
Drama Llama
procastinating
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Member is Online
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Post by jayfab on Jul 28, 2015 20:16:02 GMT
I'm sorry. This is a bad month for me too as I lost my niece to violence July 25, 2008. Sending cyber hugs.
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Post by farmdpea on Jul 28, 2015 20:16:12 GMT
I'm sorry that so many of you are hurting. Would you like to share a happy memory about your lives ones with us?
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Deleted
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May 28, 2024 23:14:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 20:23:28 GMT
((((hugs))) to all of you on this thread that are struggling. It must be difficult to come to terms with the loss of someone so young.
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Deleted
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May 28, 2024 23:14:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 20:24:44 GMT
So very sad and senseless - my precious 20 year old niece took her life on her 20th birthday - 1995 - 20 years ago - so hard to believe she would be 40 years old right now - we always wonder what she would be doing. she was truly a beautiful girl inside and out and lit up a room each time she walked in it but for some reason she didn't see that.
Hugs to all who have lost one to suicide -
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Deleted
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May 28, 2024 23:14:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 20:25:28 GMT
Hugs to you, Donna. My mother died suddenly three years ago today. I've been in a terrible funk all day long, so I know where you are coming from.
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
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Post by mimima on Jul 28, 2015 20:25:40 GMT
Hugs. I'm sorry. May her Memory be Eternal
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Post by ilikepink on Jul 28, 2015 20:27:55 GMT
Hugs to all of you struggling. It's hard, but feelings are good to have--even bad ones. You will get through these awful moments.
And more hugs.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Jul 28, 2015 20:29:17 GMT
Hugs to you.
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Post by katieanna on Jul 28, 2015 20:31:18 GMT
Big :hugs: to you. The hurt may dull with time but it never really goes away. I hope you enjoy the movie and that it will ease your mind and relax your spirit. May God bless!
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Deleted
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May 28, 2024 23:14:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 20:35:43 GMT
I'm sorry that so many of you are hurting. Would you like to share a happy memory about your lives ones with us? What a nice idea My mother was tenacious. I'll spare all the details, but 30 years ago, she decided to research the family of her father, which was very mysterious. He was an only child who never knew his father, but there were rumors of family in VA. This was before internet, she did all her research by phone, mail, and library. After a year of tracking down leads, she found my grandfathers older half brother, still living in Richmond, VA. "Uncle Bill" and his wife, Myrtle, had always known that our family existed, but had promised great-grandma Pearl that as long as she was alive, they would never contact us. Since she had passed several years prior, he confirmed the relationship, and the last 30 years have been wonderful! Bill and Myrtle invited us to their beach house on the Chesapeake Bay, and we have been going every single year without fail ever since. Grandpa died just one year after we found them, but he LOVED his brother dearly for that year! Aunt Myrtle died in 1995, and Uncle Bill passed in 2009. But to this day, we still vacation every year with our "cousins" in VA - Uncle Bill and Aunt Myrtle never had children, but they raised her nephew Carl as their own. We are so close to them to this day...Carl was the Best Man in April when my father remarried. So even though we have no blood relation, they are as precious to us as any blood relation. My mother was responsible for this. She was amazing, and I miss her so much. |
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Post by red88 on Jul 28, 2015 20:36:21 GMT
((hugs)) I know what you mean. I couldn't bring myself to finish reading Heidi's blog post. It's been 2.5 years since the loss of my brother. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him.
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Post by donna on Jul 28, 2015 21:15:36 GMT
I have attached (I think) the last picture of me and my sister. She is the one standing with her arms around my neck. We had this picture made for our parents for Christmas 1987. She and I went shopping for the dresses together and had so much fun planning all of this. We have two younger brothers, but we were across the state from them and could not pull off the surprise if we included them. We had the pictures made in October and bought the package in November. My sister died on Dec. 2. I almost did not give my parents the pictures, but they have become treasured by the family. I think everyone in our extended family ended up ordering pictures from this sitting. My sister was so much fun, but so very stubborn. We were incredibly close. There was 3 years between us. I am the oldest. We would go on double dates in high school and were roommates during my senior year and her freshman year of college. She and I would fight like cats and dogs at times, but she always had my back. One time I was arguing with our brother who is 7 years younger than me. She could tell he was about to punch me so she stepped between us. When he hit her it broke her nose. (I always felt bad for that). My niece's middle name is my sister's middle name. It is uncanny how many personality traits my niece has that my sister had. My sister would have loved that a little of her is in my niece and consider the stubborness they share as payback for my brother breaking her nose all those years ago. I really hope the picture attached because the board won't let me preview my post for some reason. Attachments:
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Deleted
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May 28, 2024 23:14:44 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 28, 2015 21:19:40 GMT
I'm sorry to all who are hurting. Hugs.
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Post by jenjie on Jul 28, 2015 21:22:34 GMT
I'm so sorry. {{{hugs}} to our hurting ones. donna and @lynlam thank you for sharing your loved ones with us. |
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eastcoastpea
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Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 28, 2015 23:42:21 GMT
donna and lynlam thanks for telling us about your family members. Hugs to all missing a loved one today.
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I become very emotional when I think about Heidi Swapp's son, and I can't imagine how it must refresh those painful memories for you. 
