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Post by PEArfect on Aug 8, 2015 23:43:35 GMT
The waiting is torture. Just remember when dealing with family and friends, your feelings are valid even if they aren't positive. I'm so sorry you are going through this and I pray for the best outcome for you.
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Post by mikklynn on Aug 9, 2015 1:31:16 GMT
You've received some really great advice.
When DH was diagnosed with cancer, it was really fast. Our waiting and waiting was for his surgery. It was torture. The doctors kept adding more and more tests, so it took 30 days to get into surgery.
DH asked for help sleeping and was prescribed Trazodone, a mild anti-depressant that aids sleep. It was a Godsend. He's still on it.
We took a few days after his diagnosis to cry and freak out. Then, we said, OK - it's time to live. We went to a movie, we shopped for things to help him post-surgery, saw a few friends, etc. We also shut off the phone at times. If you don't want to talk, shut off the phone.
As for staying positive, I think you are doing amazingly well. Give yourself some credit for that! No one can be positive all the time. It's healthy to allow yourself to feel your fear, too.
Even if you have cancer, you can live with cancer. DH was diagnosed at stage IV over 8 years ago. We've had many more good days than bad.
Hugs, and many, many prayers for you.
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Aug 9, 2015 2:13:26 GMT
I'm sorry - that is scary to deal with, especially the not knowing and the waiting to find out is horrible. The only advice I have is one I have used myself...at this point whatever those lumps are...they already are, they are either benign or malignant. Worrying about it and making yourself sick over it, won't actually change anything at this point. Just go through the process and have whatever tests you have to have and find out what the actual diagnosis is and then deal with it one step at a time. You can't play 'what if" and you can't run any realistic scenarios or make any realistic plans until you actually know something. When you know what it is and if you'll need anything else done only then can you make any proper plans. This is exactly what I've used dealing with my own health issues and the days of testing before my DH died. There is absolutely nothing you can do to change things, just try to take it one day or even one minute at a time. Not knowing is just so hard Say a prayer and try to put it in God's hands. As far as other people? Just know that they're at a loss the same as you are and most likely have no experience or words to help you. They mean well. For close friends and family I would sometimes just tell them it wasn't open for discussion. They understood thankfully. I wish you peace. Hugs!
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Nicole in TX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,951
Jun 26, 2014 2:00:21 GMT
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Post by Nicole in TX on Aug 9, 2015 3:01:18 GMT
Popping in to check on you, Katybee!
Re: the nodules in your lungs, I have some spots on my spleen that have been there for at least 3 years. We only know they are there from CT scans. They are nothing, probably lots of people have them and we would know if everyone had scans.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Aug 9, 2015 3:01:34 GMT
You are still in the fact-finding stage, so trying to "stay neutral" at this point is good advice. But the waiting is hard, I know. I hope you get answers soon and they are not what you fear.
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Post by dewryce on Aug 9, 2015 4:54:53 GMT
For me, I found it helped to keep busy (my house was never so clean!) and to keep doing things rather than sitting and letting my mind wander. Do something physical to get tired, so that you can sleep. Focus on each moment, right now - is this good? Yes. Then enjoy it. Do you have a hobby? I scrapbooked, crocheted and painted. Creating something with my hands is very therapeutic for me. The only way that I can STOP thinking about something is to replace that thought with something else. Tomorrow will be what it is and you are a strong and amazing woman. You can do this. I'll keep you in my thoughts. My first step in getting my mind off things is to read. When I can't concentrate enough to do that, then I do what craftykitten does. Organizing and decluttering are favorite ways to keep my hands and mind busy. I also like to listen to music that I love, that I know the words in my sleep. Albums that I have played countless times. If my mind wanders, I literally force myself to sing along. It's hard to think about other things when you are concentrating on singing out loud and keeping your hands busy. I am happy to hear you will be getting some anti-anxiety meds. Make sure you are getting good quality sleep, and also consider getting help with that if you need it. Like you, I have had myself and my DH diagnosed with cancer many times with what I thought was *very* compelling medical evidence. And you know, Dr. Google. Good thing I never had to prosecute with that evidence, my arguments have been proven wrong time and time again. Best wishes that yours are too! eta: I can't help but notice how many peas posted that have *had* cancer. Past tense. Simply awesome.
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Post by pb on Aug 9, 2015 5:01:34 GMT
Hugs
As you found out, funny stories, movies, etc are very healing.
As others have pointed out, guided meditations are also useful. I meditate daily and I find it essential to managing my anxieties.
If you are a reader I am reading a book about a woman who had a severe, debilitating illness and during a portion of the illness she developed a relationship with a snail. It sounds absurd but it is beautifully written and reflective of what it means to be ill and dealing with the issues illness brings to your life.
It is Spund of a Wild Snail Eating. I'm on my phone so I can't link.
Wishing you peace and comfort.
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karenintx
Shy Member
Posts: 24
Aug 9, 2015 2:56:35 GMT
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Post by karenintx on Aug 9, 2015 5:08:54 GMT
Hugs and prayers. I have had some health problems too (not nearly what you are going through, though) and know how it can dominate your thoughts. I agree that you have to take each moment as it comes, and don't hesitate to ask for anxiety meds if that helps you. Try to stay active. I am one who has to be creative when I am stressed, but if the stress is too high, I just want to go to bed. One day at a time, or one hour at a time, or even one minute at a time, whatever gets you through the waiting.
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Post by hop2 on Aug 9, 2015 14:09:35 GMT
I am so sorry you have to deal with this. {{{hugs}}}
Being positive is often an active choice. Choosing to see each day as a gift and use it wisely. You never know what's going to hapoen tomorrow so carpe diem for today.
Waiting on your health diagnosis is terribly difficult and all of your feelings are valid and normal. Is there someone you can talk to?
{{{hugs}}}
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