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Post by moveablefeast on Aug 9, 2015 0:40:17 GMT
My uncle passed away last week a little unexpectedly. We have been making arrangements all week and picked up the guest book and the memorial cards from the funeral home today for tomorrow's memorial service. We picked them up at 5:30 because they were not ready sooner, and the funeral home office is closed for the night and won't reopen in the morning in time to fix their error.
They misspelled his name... Literally four different ways. Three wrong spellings in the guest book and one wrong spelling on the cards.
I'm livid and think it is disrespectful to hand out the cards with his name on them wrong. I said to just not use them and make the funeral home redo them so they could be sent wirh thank you cards. My dad (the deceased is my mom's brother) says we should just use them anyway because everything else (the family information) is right.
They had te correct spelling because it went into the obit correctly. We filled out all the forms electronically so there is no interpretation error involved.
What do you think?
It's probably PVM. I'm so annoyed.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 14:25:24 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2015 0:41:51 GMT
I'm sorry, that is frustrating. And the lack of attention to detail probably makes you feel like they don't really care about your uncle.  I don't know what other options there are if you can't get in contact with the funeral home tonight for an emergency re-printing. I guess you could see if you could have them done yourself RIGHT NOW at Staples or some other print-capable store. |
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Post by 950nancy on Aug 9, 2015 0:42:22 GMT
I can see that out of respect for your uncle you would want it spelled correctly.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846 
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Post by georgiapea on Aug 9, 2015 0:45:00 GMT
I would have taken the materials with incorrect spelling and had them re-done myself. After the service I'd then take it up with the funeral home.
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Post by chaosisapony on Aug 9, 2015 0:46:00 GMT
I can see why you're annoyed. Little things like this during a stressful and emotional time can really hit home. It doesn't sound like there is time to have them reprinted but is it possible you could make some labels on your computer and retype the information on the cards onto the labels and then stick them over the cards? If you can find the right size it wouldn't be very noticeable at all. Or if your uncle was the type of man to make a joke out of it I'd be inclined to leave it alone and hope the guests can get a little giggle out of the crazy spellings. However you decide to handle it the funeral home should give you a refund on the cards and book since they are not correct to what you ordered.
I'm sorry for your family's loss and I hope this doesn't add too much stress to you all tomorrow.
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moodyblue
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Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Aug 9, 2015 0:47:19 GMT
That would bother me too.
I know that the funeral home my family uses prints them and has the capability of printing more as they are needed. Is this possible for you? I know you said they won't reopen in time, but is there a 24-hour phone number (funeral homes get calls at all times) you could call to ask about this?
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Post by christine58 on Aug 9, 2015 0:50:26 GMT
Make them do all of it over...it's disrespectful to all.
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Post by mom on Aug 9, 2015 0:51:37 GMT
Oh this would be a biggie for me.
His name needs to be spelled right. And definitely try to call the funeral home. There is almost always someone there.
I am sorry about your uncle.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 14:25:24 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2015 0:53:49 GMT
We would have them re-make them. If you filled out the form electronically there is no excuse for this mistake.
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MorningPerson
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Posts: 2,543
Location: Central Pennsylvania
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Post by MorningPerson on Aug 9, 2015 0:54:58 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I do understand your frustration.
I'm quite sure that I would in no way be using the cards with all the misspellings. Is there an 'emergency' after-hours phone number for the funeral director you can get your hands on*? If so, I would call tonight and demand they make it right for tomorrow's service.
*Maybe call a local hospital? I would imagine they would have such a phone number. Surely there are needs for funeral services that don't follow the M-F 9-5 parameters.
If that idea fails, I do like the idea of enclosing the corrected cards in the thank you notes.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 14:25:24 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2015 1:04:02 GMT
I'll validate you. There's no way I'd hand out cards with my loved one's name spelled incorrectly. The funeral home needs to make this right.
Will their office be open before the service? I'd be there as soon as it opened and demand they do something. One of their employees, not you, can run to a copy store and make correct copies at their own expense. If they have any integrity at all, they'll fall all over themselves to get it done.
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Post by txdancermom on Aug 9, 2015 1:08:15 GMT
I would be leaving them a phone message that they have the whole mess reprinted in time for the funeral in the morning, and at their expense. there is NO excuse for that.
We made a funeral home redo the "bookmarks" they made for my father in laws as they had a wrong date on it.
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Post by mikklynn on Aug 9, 2015 1:10:35 GMT
I'm sorry for your loss and the extra stress.
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Sarah*H
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Post by Sarah*H on Aug 9, 2015 1:16:17 GMT
They should have an answering service, most funeral homes do. I would call and leave a message that you want it fixed tonight.
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Post by Restless Spirit on Aug 9, 2015 1:19:47 GMT
Okay. I have little, tiny bit of knowledge about funeral homes - well, one. My DH worked a few years as a Funeral Assistant at a local funeral home and we got to know one of the Funeral Directors pretty well. All of their products are printed in-house and they *can* make new cards on short notice.
This is how a problem is handled after hours at *that* funeral home:
1) If you have the Funeral Directors business card - check for a cell phone number or "after hours" emergency # for the funeral home
2) If you don't have the FD's business card - check their website for the after-hours phone #
3) Call the after-hours number. More than likely, it will be an answering service. Make sure to ask if you have reached a funeral home employee, or an answering service - BIG difference on how to proceed!
4) if you have reached an answering service: Make VERY clear A) what the problems is B) How many errors there are C) How upset and distressed you are D) What you want done, ie - re=prints BEFORE the service.
5) Tell (don't ask - tell) the answering service (nicely, but firmly, of course) that you NEED to talk to a Funeral Director TONIGHT. Give them a time frame you want to receive a return call. (At the Funeral Home my DH worked at there is *always* a funeral director on-call. It may not be "your" FD, but there should be someone available - don't worry about bothering them during off-hours. It's part of their job to be available.)
6) Call back - if necessary. Be persistent. Keep calling until you get called back. They should resolve this tonight. It is their error, not yours and they should resolve it to your satisfaction. You are the client. It's their job to do the job right. Not all FD are going to be responsive and helpful. One of the FD my DH worked for was a wonderful, thoughtful, excellent FD. The other was a lazy PITA.
You have every right to be upset. I'm very sorry for your loss.
ETA: Full Disclosure
Years ago when my older sister died, the funeral home that my parents used for her funeral printed the WRONG interment cemetery on her funeral cards. It bugs me to this day to see that error.
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akathy
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Post by akathy on Aug 9, 2015 1:20:09 GMT
At the funeral home I used there are a few different funeral directors. When you make the initial call one is assigned to your funeral. All communication is through him. I would contact him directly tonight to point out the error. His job is to take care of those kinds of things. My funeral director bent over backwards to make sure that everything was the way we wanted it. Again, that's his job.
Is there not a funeral director you can call?
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theshyone
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Post by theshyone on Aug 9, 2015 1:28:30 GMT
I would not use misspelt names on things handed out. It's wrong, just wrong. Follow after hour protocal on contacting and insisting they fix their error on time.
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Post by peano on Aug 9, 2015 1:55:46 GMT
That is so disrespectful and I would be furious, not only because they had the correct info and got it wrong but also because it's THEIR job to make sure grieving people don't have to deal with this kind of thing.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by RiverIsis on Aug 9, 2015 2:06:51 GMT
Okay. I have little, tiny bit of knowledge about funeral homes - well, one. My DH worked a few years as a Funeral Assistant at a local funeral home and we got to know one of the Funeral Directors pretty well. All of their products are printed in-house and they *can* make new cards on short notice. This is how a problem is handled after hours at *that* funeral home: 1) If you have the Funeral Directors business card - check for a cell phone number or "after hours" emergency # for the funeral home 2) If you don't have the FD's business card - check their website for the after-hours phone # 3) Call the after-hours number. More than likely, it will be an answering service. Make sure to ask if you have reached a funeral home employee, or an answering service - BIG difference on how to proceed! 4) if you have reached an answering service: Make VERY clear A) what the problems is B) How many errors there are C) How upset and distressed you are D) What you want done, ie - re=prints BEFORE the service. 5) Tell (don't ask - tell) the answering service (nicely, but firmly, of course) that you NEED to talk to a Funeral Director TONIGHT. Give them a time frame you want to receive a return call. (At the Funeral Home my DH worked at there is *always* a funeral director on-call. It may not be "your" FD, but there should be someone available - don't worry about bothering them during off-hours. It's part of their job to be available.) 6) Call back - if necessary. Be persistent. Keep calling until you get called back. They should resolve this tonight. It is their error, not yours and they should resolve it to your satisfaction. You are the client. It's their job to do the job right. Not all FD are going to be responsive and helpful. One of the FD my DH worked for was a wonderful, thoughtful, excellent FD. The other was a lazy PITA. You have every right to be upset. I'm very sorry for your loss. ETA: Full Disclosure Years ago when my older sister died, the funeral home that my parents used for her funeral printed the WRONG interment cemetery on her funeral cards. It bugs me to this day to see that error.  My father was a Funeral Director and this is pretty much what I would have suggested. Business hours are walk in hours not hours for serving your needs call ASAP so they can get on it and get it sorted out in time. So sorry for your loss and that you are going through this. |
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Post by RiverIsis on Aug 9, 2015 2:15:52 GMT
I will just add my opinion to this that the Funeral Home should do it right and take the charges off the final bill as well for the distress caused. I don't have a lot of patience for Funeral homes that get the basics wrong.
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Post by bosoxbeth on Aug 9, 2015 2:36:30 GMT
So sorry for your loss. You are NOT wrong to want it corrected. The spelling of one's name is important. It is respectful and appropriate to want it to be correct.
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Nicole in TX
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Post by Nicole in TX on Aug 9, 2015 2:39:19 GMT
Wow. I am sorry for your loss and that just adds insult to injury. I would follow the advice above.
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M in Carolina
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Post by M in Carolina on Aug 9, 2015 2:59:28 GMT
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your uncle. I hope you and your family find peace during this difficult time.
I agree with those that say call the funeral home tonight.
The voicemail of the funeral home business number should provide a emergency contact number for after hours even if they don't have an answering service.
Funeral homes have to have a 24/7 number so they can dispatch someone to the home of the deceased after hours. (in cases where someone has been chronically very sick or was on hospice care, their primary physician will sign the death warrant and the funeral home the family wants to use will come directly to where the deceased was.) They'd lose tons of business if this 24/7 phone number is not easy to find.
I have dealt with people misspelling my name all the time. If something was misspelled for my funeral, my family could just make a big joke out of it (nobody ever spelled it right during her life, why should death be any different?)--I would find it funny, but I know that they would want everything to be perfect.
Your uncle deserves more respect than misspelled names on the stationery for his funeral. Especially since they misspelled it FOUR DIFFERENT WAYS. That's more than just a typo.
If the funeral home staff didn't bend over backwards immediately and be incredibly apologetic, I'd point out how they not just misspelled his name ONCE, but four times, in different ways. That's not just a small error, this is a worrying trend that might lead me to believe that the funeral home is not giving my loved one the very best of care.
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Mary Kay Lady
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Aug 9, 2015 4:14:30 GMT
So sorry for your loss. You are NOT wrong to want it corrected. The spelling of one's name is important. It is respectful and appropriate to want it to be correct. ^^^^^This. I am so sorry for your loss and the additional stress that you have in having to deal with this situation. I'd call the after-hours number and politely insist that it be corrected. I hope that this is resolved soon. |
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Post by Really Red on Aug 9, 2015 4:23:43 GMT
One more validation. I hope you do as Restless Spirit says and call the funeral director. That is truly egregious!! I would be so mad. That is their JOB to check those things!
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Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Aug 9, 2015 4:51:25 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending good thoughts the funeral home is able to correct everything in time. I would not use printed items with my loved ones name misspelled, and I would be completely beside myself about it. {HUGS}
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Post by moveablefeast on Aug 9, 2015 13:56:41 GMT
Ha. Thanks for the validation. I slept on it and I'm still annoyed.
We are in the absolute middle of nowhere in a one stoplight town - the closest 24 hour print shop is probably 100 miles away. The funeral home has no answering machine let alone an emergency number or an on call service.
I got irked finally and called the funeral director at home (I found him in the phone book). I guess it's his wife who makes the cards.
She argued with us that no, that was the correct spelling (what) the way we gave it to her (sorry, got that email in my outbox so try again) and that nobody pays any attention to that stuff anyway (I literally cannot even). Oh, and it's her husbands birthday so they are on their way out to celebrate and can't really fix it today (sorry the funeral I'm paying you for is interfering with your celebration).
God help me today.
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Post by Skellinton on Aug 9, 2015 14:07:55 GMT
Ha. Thanks for the validation. I slept on it and I'm still annoyed. We are in the absolute middle of nowhere in a one stoplight town - the closest 24 hour print shop is probably 100 miles away. The funeral home has no answering machine let alone an emergency number or an on call service. I got irked finally and called the funeral director at home (I found him in the phone book). I guess it's his wife who makes the cards. She argued with us that no, that was the correct spelling (what) the way we gave it to her (sorry, got that email in my outbox so try again) and that nobody pays any attention to that stuff anyway (I literally cannot even). Oh, and it's her husbands birthday so they are on their way out to celebrate and can't really fix it today (sorry the funeral I'm paying you for is interfering with your celebration). God help me today. OMG, if your town is really that small I would be tempted to find out where they are celebrating and show up and hand them the incorrect items and demand they fix them. I would create quite a scene. I assume you are a better person then I am though. I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. |
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Post by Darcy Collins on Aug 9, 2015 14:16:49 GMT
Ha. Thanks for the validation. I slept on it and I'm still annoyed. We are in the absolute middle of nowhere in a one stoplight town - the closest 24 hour print shop is probably 100 miles away. The funeral home has no answering machine let alone an emergency number or an on call service. I got irked finally and called the funeral director at home (I found him in the phone book). I guess it's his wife who makes the cards. She argued with us that no, that was the correct spelling (what) the way we gave it to her (sorry, got that email in my outbox so try again) and that nobody pays any attention to that stuff anyway (I literally cannot even). Oh, and it's her husbands birthday so they are on their way out to celebrate and can't really fix it today (sorry the funeral I'm paying you for is interfering with your celebration). God help me today. I am so sorry you're dealing with this on top of the normal stress of a funeral. |
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Post by momof3pits on Aug 9, 2015 14:17:05 GMT
Ha. Thanks for the validation. I slept on it and I'm still annoyed. We are in the absolute middle of nowhere in a one stoplight town - the closest 24 hour print shop is probably 100 miles away. The funeral home has no answering machine let alone an emergency number or an on call service. I got irked finally and called the funeral director at home (I found him in the phone book). I guess it's his wife who makes the cards. She argued with us that no, that was the correct spelling (what) the way we gave it to her (sorry, got that email in my outbox so try again) and that nobody pays any attention to that stuff anyway (I literally cannot even). Oh, and it's her husbands birthday so they are on their way out to celebrate and can't really fix it today (sorry the funeral I'm paying you for is interfering with your celebration). God help me today. Holy fuck. No. |
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My father was a Funeral Director and this is pretty much what I would have suggested. Business hours are walk in hours not hours for serving your needs call ASAP so they can get on it and get it sorted out in time.
Time to get off the internet!
Southern Side eyed Pea 
