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Post by AN on Aug 13, 2015 15:07:17 GMT
One more thought, I've had this thread in my head all night.
While it's okay to take a job hoping it will lead to future promotions (and it sounds like there is a track record of it happening in this company), I think you have to also be willing to accept that a lot can change in a couple of years and the promotion that you are thinking about that far out might not materialize. They might change the structure of management, they might not have an opening at that time, they might like your DH so much in his travel role they don't want to move him out, etc.
Obviously you have to prove yourself and it's okay to sacrifice for a little while to hopefully get future opportunities, don't give up so much now that you'll be really frustrated if that promotion/work from home doesn't materialize in a couple of years. You have to be okay with the role as-is even if it doesn't turn into something in the future, or be prepared to leave the company if their promises don't come to fruition.
Many people have gotten burned by sacrificing for years and then the promotion they felt they were promised never actually happened. One more thing to take into account when figuring out the right balance for your family.
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Post by 2peafaithful on Aug 13, 2015 15:37:09 GMT
For us travel isn't worth it. We have tried it and hated it. My dh has to travel 4-5 times a year for 3-5 days and that is doable but when he has done it on a regular basis it wasn't a good fit for our family.
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Post by annabella on Aug 13, 2015 15:40:17 GMT
Since you both travel a lot for work, I would recommend you both commit to one airline, even if it means flying with connections, to build up the mileage and earn platinum status. That will benefit you once it's time to do your annual vacation with the family.
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Post by 3SugarBugs on Aug 13, 2015 15:40:25 GMT
I haven't read all the replies, but wanted to offer my perspective...
DH and I both travel quite a bit for work; while we don't have a set schedule it's normal for us to each be gone at least a week a month, so in reality we are only together about half of each month...sometimes more, sometimes less. I also travel internationally, so sometimes I'm gone for 10 days at a time...which can complicate things.
Not going to sugar coat...the older we get, the harder it gets, but it's definitely doable! For us, communication and planning is key! Especially with the kids. We are the king and queen of Google calendar and text like mad people when away to ensure nothing gets missed. It can be hectic, but I will say we so appreciate our time together...it's sweeter, as we know it's fleeting!
If you end up going down this road...my advice is this (basically my mantra to myself!)
~Repeat to yourself to "Be Flexible" - this is important as schedules change, you'll be expecting him home one night, he gets delayed until the next day, yada, yada...you'll start feeling overwhelmed! But if you repeat that to yourself it helps!
~Give yourself permission for a "Time Out" - you'll have all the responsibility of 'home'...so when things get overwhelming, run a bath, pour a glass of wine, and tell the kids you need some quiet time! The laundry and dishes can wait!
~Communicate - we always talk/Face Time first thing in the morning, as with work dinners etc, it's hard to do at night. We also text/email throughout the day. You'll figure out what works for you...just remember to keep it a priority!
~Listen to your kids - The kids are also used to having him around! So let them vent when they are missing him, or missing having the whole family around. Make sure they have time to talk to him as well.
~Make a pact that it's okay to "Vent" - sometimes you'll just need to vent about doing "everything"...trust me on this! DH and I both do it. Make a pact that he'll just listen...you'll be fine, he'll be fine, but you can't have guilt on either side or it won't work.
Good Luck!!!
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Post by marysue63 on Aug 13, 2015 17:39:21 GMT
I've been married just over a year, and dated for just over a year. We did not live together before we were married. I have a 14DD at home. My DH travels 7 weeks out of 8, for 2-3 nights at a time and for the most part he schedules it all himself.
Here is what helps me -
* When he's home, he's HOME. No work stuff in the evenings or on the weekends. * We have a planned date night almost every week. * We at least talk every night and we text every morning. * I don't ever make him feel bad for being gone. He is doing what he needs to do to take care of his family and I won't hold that against him. * I let myself sleep diagonally on the bed!
It gets hard when there are evening events for church or school that he can't attend with us, but I just don't allow myself to get upset about it. I knew this was the deal with we got married. I guess the best part is that he works from home so those weeks and days he's not traveling he is home and I love when I get to come home to him!
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Post by alissa103 on Aug 13, 2015 18:17:16 GMT
My DH travels quite a bit, hes gone right now for a week. The longest he is ever gone is 2 weeks and that does seem like a long time towards the end of it. We dont have kids but we are trying, if a newborn comes along Im sure I wont be as "cool" with the travel because I will need help, or sleep! Right now I like it, I miss him when hes gone and its fun when he gets back. Ive also seen some cool places traveling along with him. We Facetime almost every night before bed and text throughout the day advice? hmm, get on a good points program with airline/hotel asap and let them build up for a family vacation Not to hijack Steph's thread, but you will be just fine with a newborn I did it. The first time DH was gone I had my mom come down. After that I felt more confident and did it on my own. Biggest advice is to have easy stuff on hand to eat and just sleep when you can, even if you end up taking several naps . Let the house get crazy if you need to. Have a friend come over here and there and be sure she always brings you a meal! Good luck with your TTC!
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