Deleted
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Oct 5, 2024 18:23:53 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 17, 2015 3:03:26 GMT
I'm one of those people who probably wouldn't socialize. Not because I'm competitive. It would be because I was in my own zone of this sucks, I'm going to die, when will this end, my face is so red, I'm going to pass out, swear word, swear word, swear word.... So glad I am not the only one thinking that!!! |
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Post by M~ on Aug 17, 2015 3:35:36 GMT
So why not try to talk to them? Smile. Say hi. Be friendly. The most intimidating woman at my first visit to my current CrossFit box is now one of my best friends. Looks like a gorgeous beast, has a heart of absolute gold. I'm just not sure who is being more judgmental here. I'm not easily intimidated. The courtroom beats it out of you fairly quickly. I have. Trust me. I don't even mean that I'm expecting to share hello kitty stickers with glitter on them and have a sleepover. I also don't mean socializing during a workout. That would be absurd. As another poster stated, while working out, I'm more focused one "OH SHIT I'M GOING TO PASS OUT." BREATHING is expensive, so I'm not going to waste it on words. Everyone is focused on the coach and the workout. I try to be friendly. Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you. I'm not expecting insta-friend. I was expecting politeness at a minimum. However, when people start walking away from you as you are saying hello, or mid-sentence, I think that's rude. There are a couple of ladies that are polite, the rest, not so much. As to the "New gear," I am NEW to this, so I have to buy NEW stuff. So yes, I have new stuff. Shrug. Other people have joined the gym after I started, and I make a concerted effort to go up and greet them. I think it's polite and a nice gesture in an otherwise intense setting. ETA: I get to the gym fairly early and so do a lot of people (who come straight from work). So people mill around for a bit before our class. |
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Post by nyxish on Aug 17, 2015 5:05:02 GMT
Baffling.
i also don't think that's "speaking girl" - that's just being rude.
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AllieC
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,086 
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Post by AllieC on Aug 17, 2015 6:58:40 GMT
I would give it a bit more time and then if you still feel the same way, find somewhere else.
I have been to a few gyms and a couple I felt really unwelcome in. Nothing really happened to make me feel this way but I never really felt like I fit in.
The place I go now I really love. I'm not wanting to socialise either but a nice smile or a nod goes a long way. I also do group PT with mainly a bunch of very fit guys. I'm 49 and a bit overweight and my friend is the same age, very overweight with lots of joint issues but we all get along great and train to the best of our abilities. The guys are really encouraging and we really enjoy our sessions.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Aug 17, 2015 12:42:07 GMT
The people at my gym are the perfect mix of friendly disinterest. They will always let me work in but won't bother with chit-chat because, like me, they're there to work out and get out.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Aug 17, 2015 12:51:00 GMT
I think pjaye is correct. They don't see you as competition, they just don't rate you! I couldn't stand going to a gym like that. I used to be a member of Curves. OK, it's not a good as a "normal" gym, and you are limited in what you can do with the equipment they have, but at least everyone was friendly and supportive and encouraging. The women ranged in age from early 20's right up to a couple of amazing women in their 80's who would work out 3+ times a week. There was also a big range of weight from skinny to normal to overweight to obese. There were no judgemental cows there at all. Not my experience with Curves at all. It was all about the competition, mostly about who had the best diet and who could eat the less and all kinds of annoying girly shit that was just dangerous and the latest fad diet. I went because a friend asked me to join with her. She loved it, I hated the "let's all be the best of friends and encourage each other" fake bullshit I encountered. I'm one of those "leave me alone while I'm going through this hell" people. I don't want to be at the gym, I don't like what I'm doing, I'm there because I had no other choice" so leave me be. I'd be the worst witness if something happened in the gym, I have my earbuds in and turned up loud and I pick equipment that faces the wall. Of course now I don't go and just do ballet and pilates, which is so much more tolerable. That's my long winded way to say that gym time is not social time and I wouldn't want to talk to anyone and I hate meeting people that I know. If that makes me a bitch and rude, so be it. |
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Aug 17, 2015 13:33:20 GMT
I work out with a bunch of 18-20's kids. I work at a college and faculty/staff can join right along with the students. They don't seem to notice me which is fine with me! It took me a while to get over feeling like 'hey, I'm your mom's age and I'm such a dork' but I'm past it now and I'm used to being the 'mom' in the crowd.
I don't think the girls at your gym, OP are speaking 'girl' they're speaking 'bitch'.
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,797
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Post by Rhondito on Aug 17, 2015 15:13:07 GMT
I wouldn't give a rat's ass what the other people are doing or thinking. I'm there to work out - earbuds in an focus.
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Post by RiverIsis on Aug 18, 2015 2:24:43 GMT
OK I think people are talking at cross purposes. I know I can be focused and still polite. Just a nod. I also know that in real life (not gym) I have told people that I can be in my own little world and if I "ignore" them it isn't intentional I just can be in my own little focused zone. I give people permission to call me out on it.
Without experiencing that session with you I have no idea whether they were just existing in their own world or being bitches. Both are possible and maybe not mutually exclusive.
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Post by peasapie on Aug 18, 2015 11:30:08 GMT
My daughter does crossfit. It's a serious workout. She's not there trying to make pals or to look at anyone else. She does her 50 minutes with the group and then leaves. It's hard work and she is in competition with herself to improve her lifting stats.
If if you want to make friends, try something like an art class or a Meetup group.
Frankly I'm amazed at the negativity on this thread. No one said or did anything unkind to you, right? You just think they are looking at you in some way that could actually be all your imagination?
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Post by mrsscrapdiva on Aug 18, 2015 20:10:27 GMT
Unfortunately I think this above is true. I think some people are judgmental (no matter what type of social or work setting) and they are giving you the looks of "You can't sit here" mean girl type crap. Ignore it and just do your work out and leave. I don't think all gyms are like that, but it seems like maybe they have been there a while, became the mean girls and don't want newbees on their turf.  |
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