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Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2015 13:25:17 GMT
My son is about to start his 4th year at a small regional university campus 20 minutes from home (he lives at home). We have talked over this several times and he always insists he does not see how spending all that money sharing a dorm or apartment would be good for him. He is not social at all and this is why each year I have tried to convince him to move to the main campus. I do not want him to have the gross partying and sleeping around "college experience" but to just meet more people, join clubs and make more contacts for possible jobs. He has had to take about half of his classes online through the university because this regional campus did not have what he needed/wanted for his degree. He is a very good student and works hard to stay on the Dean's list.
So, his college experience has not been MY dream for him but he is in charge of his life and some people just do not need all the hoopla of campus living. He will be graduating 100% debt free in May, so that makes both of us happy.
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Post by shanni on Aug 28, 2015 13:48:10 GMT
I would not take out loans to live on campus 20 minutes away, but if you can swing it without the loans, I think it's so good for kids to be on their own for a little bit while in college.
My DH teaches at the local 2 year college, so my kids will get free tuition. The college they will attend to get their associates degree is literally closer to our house than the elementary school. I am still strongly encouraging them to work hard to get scholarships and save their money because I want them to be able to live in student housing. Even though it is so close, I think it's good for them to be on their own. I like the idea of them getting that practice time of living on their own, yet we will be close by to help them navigate it at first.
Meeting new people is a big part of the reason I want them to go. Many of the local kids around here will move into student housing for the first year, or even the first semester, then move home to save money. That way they have had the experience of living with roommates, and they've established a social circle. Sometimes they plan to just live on campus for a semester and then move home, but enjoy living on campus so much that they do what they need to do to stay there. (Get jobs, budget better, etc)
Bottom line- if you can swing it, have her move away even just for a semester. That will help her get established and then she can move back home to save money if that's what is needed.
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anniebeth24
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Jun 26, 2014 14:12:17 GMT
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Post by anniebeth24 on Aug 28, 2015 13:51:07 GMT
My DD attended her first year of college 20 minutes away from home. We all felt it was important for her to live in the dorms, but we were able to pay for it in full without loans, so that part didn't play into our decision. DH and I had fabulous dorm experiences and wanted the same for her.
Unfortunately, she didn't really ever embrace dorm life. A big factor in this was that a large number of her high school friends attended the same university (some living on campus, some at home), and she kept close with many younger friends who were still in high school. She didn't "need" to seek out new friends because she had so many from her "old" life. Didn't participate in dorm activities or university sports events, but rather seemed to continue socially as though she was still in high school. She attended the high school sports events, plays, etc. because she was still so connected to that world and the close proximity made it easier.
It wasn't what we expected at all, so I'm just throwing that out there as something to consider. . . Best wishes in making that tough choice.
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Post by myboysnme on Aug 28, 2015 14:01:00 GMT
I have 2 sons - both go to school about 45 mins from our house (different schools). One lives at home and one works and lives in a house with a roommate.
The one that lives at home does not work. They both know I can help out very little so they can either work to live away or stay at home for free.
College experience away from home can be more stressful than enjoyable, especially for a freshman. I'd be looking at move out options around junior year.
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finaledition
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Jun 26, 2014 0:30:34 GMT
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Post by finaledition on Aug 28, 2015 14:06:43 GMT
My biggest regret was living at home while I went to a college nearby. I suppose it depends on the type of college, but the one I went to was large and has a sizable commutable population. I met very few people during college-just mostly hung out with my boyfriend-now dh. My dh (who did the same) and I are both on the same page about this. My (jr) daughter is interested in a college that is 30 minutes and living at home won't be an option.
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Post by saralovesducks on Aug 28, 2015 14:08:59 GMT
I lived at home, since my college was 20/30 mins away. There's no way I would have asked my parents to pay for a dorm living so close! However they did help me out when I did a semester in Germany (I worked and payed for part of it, they helped with the rest) If you can afford it, I get you want her to get the full college experience. Honestly my priority would be doing what's financially sound. Who knows if she'll need "real" help in the future. I know I did when I lost my job (things are not so good in Spain right now) and then I gladly accepted my (student loan free)parents' help. What's her take on all this? Is she very keen on getting out of the house? Hope it all works out
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Post by pretzels on Aug 28, 2015 14:15:45 GMT
I lived at home and went to school. Graduated in three years without any debt. I'd have her stay home at least for a year, and save money. She can always get into the dorms in later years if she feels like she's missing out.
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scrappinghappy
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“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say “Hello.” Goodbye. I’m late...."
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Jun 26, 2014 19:30:06 GMT
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Post by scrappinghappy on Aug 28, 2015 14:18:36 GMT
But 20 minutes? Saving $7,000 a year...I think I'd encourage my kid to live at home and stay on campus as much as possible during the day. If you choose to have her stay at home, you need to set boundaries and expectations with her...IN WRITING and have the expectation that she follow those. Why take out a loan for that. I lived at home my first 3 years at college and still managed to spend more time in the dorms than some of my friends There is no way we'd take out a loan under your circumstances. If the kid wanted to live on campus they could get a job and bay for the board and lodging
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Post by lbp on Aug 28, 2015 14:55:20 GMT
My son's college was 45 minutes from home. The first year he lived on campus because we wanted him to have the so called "college experience". He decided the "experience" wasn't worth the extra money it cost to live there so the next 3 years he commuted. I suggest a semester of trying both and see what fits her best.
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luckyexwife
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Jun 25, 2014 21:21:08 GMT
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Post by luckyexwife on Aug 28, 2015 15:21:05 GMT
My freshman year, my roommate was from the town our college was in. At the end of the year, she had a whole new set of friends, and a year of new experiences, including clubs, intermurial sports teams, study groups, etc. When she would get togeter with her high school friends, the ones that lived at home mostly just hung out togeter, and did not have a new social circle. They missed out on nights hanging out in the dorm lounge, midnight pizza runs, 9pm study groups with people from your floor, etc.
For her, the experience was totally worth it.
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Post by utmr on Aug 28, 2015 15:25:22 GMT
I went to college near home and spent 3 semesters in the dorm and 4 commuting. I worked 20 hours/ week, paid my room, board, clothing and socializing and graduated with good grades, a rigorous major in 3.5 years. For me it was life changing. I discovered a whole world out there. (Pre internet days). I had never imagined the possibilities and opportunities beyond my narrow horizons. It was eye opening to discover all the things that people saw, knew and experienced.
My brother attended the same school and my parents were so proud of him for not wanting to stay on campus. So sensible, they said. To this day, he is very proud that he never once ate a meal at school, joined a club, attended a play, concert, sporting event, anything. He drove to class and drove straight home. He spent 5 years, got a very expensive psychology degree with the bare 2.0 required to graduate. Now he lives 10 minutes from where we grew up, works for the jail and makes $20/hr. My parents are so so proud. (Seriously). Maybe someday he will be off their payroll.
After graduation I worked, went back for an MBA, got my CPA, moved away and had a reasonably successful professional career. Meeting people and learningabout opportunities allowed me to do that. Without that experience I think I would still live there, in some sort of "job" married to whatever Ed Earl hillbilly my parents picked out.
So for me, it was a life changing experience. My mother still says that allowing me to live on campus was the worst decision they ever made.
Just my experience.
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Kerri W
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Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
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Post by Kerri W on Aug 28, 2015 15:33:49 GMT
See, I'd say, go live on campus the first 2 or 3 years, then consider moving home for the later years. My reasons: getting established and having all those growth experiences as a freshman will be easier on campus. She will appreciate the benefits of home coming back for a couple of semesters later on , whereas she will likely not even recognize them if she just sort of continues her high schooler mode of life on a bigger campus. Plus, chances are good that she will find on-campus work or an internship a few years in which may pay for some of those costs. Or she may find a cheaper apartment to share with friends close to campus. If at all possible, I think there is a lot of benefit to making that move as a freshman. Exactly this.
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ellen
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Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Aug 28, 2015 15:33:59 GMT
I really want my kids to live on campus. I valued that part of my college experience. We don't have a four year university within commuting distance, but we have two community colleges. If we wouldn't have been ready to do the four years living away, we would have done 2 years community college. With the money saved there they could have done their last 2 living away. You are a year away from this. It is not unreasonable to tell your daughter that if she wants to live on campus, she needs to be a major contributor to the cost. If she worked a part-time job this year and full time during the summer, she could make a good dent in it. She could get a work study job during the school year. She could make it work. I think even one year on campus would help her establish a good network of people. I would not take full loans to pay for it, but I think it'd be ok to take some.
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Deleted
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May 7, 2024 10:16:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2015 15:46:46 GMT
I went to nursing school and spent an hour to 1.5 hours commuting ONE WAY. So I essentially spent about 2.5 to 3 hours on the road (via car/trains/subways/buses). I'm not sure how I managed it, but I did it and had a part time job as well. I really enjoyed my college experience, but didn't have time for partying or many extracurricular activities. My grades were good and I had zero debt when I graduated. Would I want my child to do the same thing? No way. But I got through it and don't regret it (much).
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SweetieBsMom
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Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on Aug 28, 2015 15:51:33 GMT
I lived at school 25 minutes from home. Best of both worlds. Granted, I didn't come out of school with huge loans, I had one which I paid off in about 3 years. I played a varsity sport and depending where our away games were, we'd get back super late. I would have hated driving home after that to turn around and get up for an early class the next day. Same with Dance Ensemble, especially going in to a show. Rehearsals would go well in to the night. PLUS, very rarely did they cancel classes for snow because 95% of the student body lived on campus.
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Post by kckckc on Aug 28, 2015 16:14:22 GMT
My sons both lived in dorms that were less than 10 minutes from our house. I really wanted them to have that experience.
My oldest had a full scholarship so there was no cost involved. He is very shy/introverted and I think the dorm experience did him a world of good - he made new friends, participated in activities, and joined a few groups. I really think that if he had lived at home he would not have done those things. He is in grad school now - 500 miles away.
My youngest had a substantial scholarship - it basically paid his tuition; we paid his room/board. He also made some really good friends and had some real learning experiences from living with others.
I commuted 30 minutes to college. My parents offered to pay for the dorm, but I didn't want them to spend the money. I went to class, went to work and came home - made no new friends, participated in no activities. After seeing what the on campus living experience did for my sons, it is one of the few regrets I have.
I don't know that I would go into debt to have my child live on campus, but I do think it is a good experience and one that you can never go back and do later.
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Post by ilikepink on Aug 28, 2015 16:36:49 GMT
My oldest DS went to a school 30 min from our house. My then-DH worked there, so tuition free. I had spent 4 years of morning arguments about getting him up and out of the house for HS, I Was Not doing that for college. He needed to be more independent, out of the house, responsible for himself. He didn't really even want to go to college, but had no other plans. Well, he made it a whole semester. He never got up, never did the school work required, never went to anything on campus, never joined any clubs. In fact, I had to coerce him to attend a basketball game that we were going to--that's a huge activity for that school. He left school just after the second semester started, with debt for housing for two semesters. And still hasn't continued his education. My advise: Do what your child is most comfortable with. If you coerce/force them into something, it isn't going to work. My lesson learned.
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Post by Miss Lerins Momma on Aug 28, 2015 18:15:32 GMT
For 20 minutes away, I'd let her live at home.
I went to college an hour away and while I loved the experience of being out on my own, I was home every weekend... had a boyfriend (now DH) that I just couldn't bear to part with. I wish I would have let myself experience much more of being away at college than I did. But hindsight's 20/20, right?
Good luck momma, it's a tough choice!
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Post by Scrapbrat on Aug 28, 2015 19:40:01 GMT
I live in a town near a major, huge university. A friend's DS goes there, and they did have him live in the dorms for all of the very good reasons that you mentioned. If you can afford the extra for room and board, I think it's great to give your DD the whole college experience.
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Post by tania7424 on Aug 28, 2015 19:45:23 GMT
My sister is going into second year this fall. She lives at home. Commute is around 20 minutes. All of her classes are at a satellite campus of the main campus, so living on campus doesn't even make sense. She still manages to get very involved in student life though. She's at home to sleep and study. And like you, it was stay at home and commute and they had enough in her RESP to cover all 4 years tuition and books, but take out a student line of credit for housing.
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peaname
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Aug 16, 2014 23:15:53 GMT
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Post by peaname on Aug 28, 2015 19:56:30 GMT
I lived in a dorm in the same town as my parent's house. It was a good experience however I would not have done it if I had to take out loans to afford it. That's just dumb.
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