College kids - live at home or go?

Could she stay at home for a year and then move on campus the later years?

I lived at college...20 minutes away. Cannot even imagine commuting. She will miss so much.

I vote for her moving out.

Not from a parental standpoint though. I really feel like I figured myself out during my college years.

Move out

Would you rather saddle her with student loan debt than have her miss out on the "college experience"? Plus the school close to home has an excellent program?

We are dealing with this now as my DS is trying to pick a college. He can go to the one here in town, that has an excellent program, but he would have to figure out where to live because we are moving out of state as soon as he graduates, or, he could go to the college close to where we will be living next year that also has a good program and he can save about $9K a year in just tuition costs. And he could live either at home or with other family (if he is desperate). Plus I think he could find less expensive housing there is he chooses to move out.

I don't want to tell him what to do, but I hope he understands that the education he gets at either institution is going to be comparable and the "college experience" probably isn't worth years of paying off student loans he wouldn't have had to take otherwise. But this is my first kid to go off to college and he isn't the terribly social type so I don't know how much it would appeal to him anyway. He just wants to get through college and get on with life.

Only 20 minutes away, there is no reason to live on campus unless it is required.I will say that I commuted to college and it wasn't what I would call the "true" college experience, but I came out of college debt free and live a productive life with family and friends.

My oldest goes to University 30 minutes from home.

It is her dime - we had no $$ set aside for the kids for school. She opted not to move into residence. However, she is a bit of an introvert, and has some social anxiety. It was almost the end of second semester when she finally met her "people" - she's made a really good friend and is looking forward to year 2. It wasn't worth $6000 for her to live in residence.

My younger daughter, on the other hand, can't wait to live in residence and move away for school. Her school will be about an hour and a half away (if she gets in) and so residence will be a must. But if she'd gone to the school her sister goes to, I still think she'd move in!

Friends of ours have a son off to the same school as DD this year. They live in our town as well, but he has chosen to live in residence. He wants that freshman experience, the whole social scene.

DD wanted no part of it...LOL

I would encourage her to live on campus. That way she will feel a part of the school and not waste time commuting/put wear and tear on her vehicle/spend a lot on gas.
A friend of ours was in your situation with her dd. In her sophomore year she was able to get a job as an RA for a dorm. It paid her room & board. I think she had a regular on campus job her freshman year.
Maybe living on campus but having a job to help pay expenses could be a compromise?

Dorm life and the "college experience" are overrated, IMO.

I moved out of the dorm at the end of the first semester because my roommate decided to spread HER wings by going out, getting drunk, and coming home to puke in our wastebasket at 3 in the morning. She also thought it was cool to bring the friends to our dorm room. After midnight. And sit there with the door open and the hall lights blazing in. Did I mention I had class at 7:45 in the morning?

If the lesson you want her to learn that mom is not the maid and dad is not going to stuff for her, then write up a "lease" contract for her. Come up with it before she leaves so you can all be prepared, and let her have some input on things, too (what "privileges" does she get and what "responsibilities" will she have).

Also, 20 minutes is about the length of my commute to work. Maybe the way you need to approach college, if she lives at home, is that it is her job.

Saving $28,000 would be really, really smart.

I can't imagine taking on loans for the experience, that seems very foolish if it's so close to commute to. A fully paid for college is the best experience, IMO. You can always work out a "rental" contract (without money) and give her the same space in her life from home. Home is free!

Count me in as another who disagrees that living on campus is overrated. I disagree.

I didn't have a good freshman year roommate experience. She hooked up with her boyfriend WHILE I WAS IN THE ROOM sleeping (obviously I woke up). And we had some other incompatibility issues as well. BUT it sure was a good learning experience for me. At the same time, I bonded great with a few other girls on my floor. Those girls? We are still best friends after almost 20 years. We just spent a weekend at a lake together this month! I would not have met & bonded with them if it hadn't forced me to spend more time in common areas and go visiting in rooms down the hall.

I also think there's something to be said for living away from mom & dad, where time is yours. No curfew. No one telling you what you should be doing with your time at that moment (studying, etc.) because that is part of growing up and learning. I made some mistakes there… staying up too late and being super tired in class. I learned to stop doing that for my early morning days and also to stop taking such early morning classes because I got more work done at night!

How much could she earn at a summer job and working some while in school? Will she get any scholarships?

I has a freshman starting school next week. He's going 1,300 miles away from home, so obviously he will live in a residence hall. But his second choice was a school 45 minutes from here. But he would have still lived on campus. He has a job that's only 6 hours a week. That's his spending money and he is expected to pay for books.

I'm in the camp that believes there is a lot to be learned in living away from home, but there are still responsible adults monitoring things. There's a common bond in sucky roommates and late night pizza ordering. Yes, it's expensive. But I think all education is expensive, no matter how you get it. And living on your own and making mistakes when the majority of those mistakes are (relatively) easy to fix is a plus for my DS. But campus life isn't for everyone. I'd start having those conversations now so that you have the next year to weigh the pros and cons.

My experience is long ago and far away and probably like being from another galaxy

I went to  2 years of junior college before transferring to a 4 year school  I tried to have a "college" life when I transferred.  I was really too old for the dorms though I lived there for a semester but I felt out of place and YEARS older because I had to work and take care of all my own bills and such, no mommy and daddy close by to lend a hand. 
I felt like the older kids had all ready made their friendships living in then dorms their freshman year then moving to off campus apartments the following years. 
Granted this particular school was primarily a commuter school, no real  campus life to speak of.  I could have been out of step even if I lived on campus my freshman year as I was carrying a heavy school load and working.  But I would have had a better chance at meeting college friends had I lived on campus my freshman year.  

Our DD did go away, did live on campus and she now has friends that are her friends for life. When she was injured at college her dorm mates stepped right up and made sure she didn't loose any college time ( fractured right had ring finger requiring surgery) she she pretty much could do nothing   This was a small private Christian college and the dorm community was close knit. 

I'd be inclined to have her live on campus her freshman year for the life experience

Diane