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Post by scrapbookdiva on Sept 3, 2015 2:05:12 GMT
I'm in the process of scrapping my ds' high school graduation. His girlfriend played a large part in the festivities. She came to the family bbq, the dinner/dance and ceremonies. Now, they broke up this week and it was ugly. I won't go into the details but I doubt they will remain friends.
Do I scrapbook these photos? She was a part of the day and she is in a lot of the photos. I know in twenty years this won't hurt so much, but my son is a sad boy, right now. I think seeing the photos will upset him.
Grrrr. Why couldn't they have waited until the pages were done?? (I joke. I joke.)
what would you do?
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Post by epeanymous on Sept 3, 2015 2:11:43 GMT
Ugh. I would probably do a page or two with photos that don't include her and then leave it aside for a while to see how things shake out. I definitely wouldn't scrap them now and probably wouldn't ever scrap pictures of her if they really do end up on I hate you type terms permanently :/.
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
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Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Sept 3, 2015 2:19:14 GMT
I have a friend who scraps those old boyfriend/girlfriend photos. When I commented how weird it was, she said that they (old BF/GF) were part of her kids life at that time and the scrapbook is to remember your life. When you put it that way it makes sense. (But to me still kind of weird.)
Does your son look at the scrapbooks? And can you wait a while to scrap those photos? Or maybe limit the photos of her or them together.
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Post by lonr on Sept 3, 2015 2:46:05 GMT
I think you made a good point yourself. If you had scrapped them before the break up how would you feel about the pages? Would you want to hide them? Would you consider them part of the story and not worry about it? Would you toss them?
If I was in your situation I would just wait until it didn't hurt so much to scrap them. Or if it was urgent, a gift album, I would find a way to tell the story with her in it as little as possible.
Take my advice as it is though! I'm trying to understand but my boys are under 11! Haha
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 3, 2015 3:03:18 GMT
I would definitely put her in it in limited amounts. She existed. My son and his gf have dated for 5+ years. If I had to get rid of her pictures, half of my albums would go for the last five years. It is rough. Maybe ask him what he thinks he would want to be in his album. If he is really against it, toss her. I'd keep the pictures though.
ETA: I have pictures of my old boyfriends in my albums. They don't bother me in the least and I am glad they are in there.
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Post by scrapbookdiva on Sept 3, 2015 3:15:02 GMT
ETA: I have pictures of my old boyfriends in my albums. They don't bother me in the least and I am glad they are in there. That's how I feel, too. She was his first real girlfriend. I think in the future, he will want the photos to remember her.
I'm toying with the idea of putting her photos in a pocket so that they are included but not front and centre. I'm a little sad because I took a beautiful photo of them when he was in his tux and I had the page all planned out in my head. Oh well. C'est la vie!
Thanks for your thoughts, ladies.
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scrapandsee
Shy Member
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Post by scrapandsee on Sept 3, 2015 3:22:32 GMT
I would scrap them and then put them in between other layouts (if you do full page lo) or somehow hide them if you do pockets. You could get them down w/the context of both how it was when they were together and how it is now. If feelings change later, you can trash them. But getting them down now means you won't forget some of the details Hiding them means no one has to see them until they're not such a sore point. ETA: I have pictures of my old boyfriends in my albums. They don't bother me in the least and I am glad they are in there. That's how I feel, too. She was his first real girlfriend. I think in the future, he will want the photos to remember her.
I'm toying with the idea of putting her photos in a pocket so that they are included but not front and centre. I'm a little sad because I took a beautiful photo of them when he was in his tux and I had the page all planned out in my head. Oh well. C'est la vie!
Thanks for your thoughts, ladies.
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PaperAngel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,312
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Sept 3, 2015 3:56:46 GMT
Our child is a few years younger, so I'm without first hand experience. However, I suggest accurately documenting this special milestone in your son's life. Your layouts should reflect that his (now ex-)girlfriend "played a large part" in his graduation-related celebrations. IMHO their relationship status when you create the layouts is irrelevant; only their relationship on that day matters to his graduation story. Perhaps use the special tux photo & layout you envisioned to document his other milestones - first girlfriend & first breakup.
Best wishes, & hope his broken heart heals soon...
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MDscrapaholic
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Posts: 6,345
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Sept 3, 2015 5:23:36 GMT
Give it some time, you don't have to scrap them today. Keep everything together and maybe at a later date you can scrap those events.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Sept 3, 2015 12:21:57 GMT
I would scrap the majority of photos without her in them. Then I would do a page (or two) that included her. But I would make that page removable, so that if he didn't want her included in it, he didn't have to without ruining the whole album.
If her face is on every other layout, then it would be harder to eradicate her from the memory books. If she is only on one layout, then those offending pages can be removed.
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Post by abr79 on Sept 3, 2015 12:43:45 GMT
They just broke up this week? Definitely give it some time - a lot of stuff can change. They're young and they were each other's first "serious" relationship. Who knows, in another week, they may be back together. Or they won't be but will be back to being friends. But giving it time before scrapping anything will help determine how you want to include photos in your layout.
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Post by Ramona on Sept 3, 2015 12:59:22 GMT
I've scrapbooked pictures such as yours, especially the tux picture, they are part of the story. If it feels better, just say friend, not girlfriend. I have pictures of my grown kids and grandkids with their "friends" at the time. Years later is does not matter. If the pictures bother your son now, just scrap them and put in a book. Does he watch you scrapbook? My grands do not.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 6, 2024 7:47:53 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2015 16:29:18 GMT
Of course you must scrapbook them but where possible, cover her or cut her out.
Don't show him the pages for a really long time.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Sept 3, 2015 17:16:16 GMT
I do not rewrite history when I document older photos. I would have used them at the time and they were obviously important enough to to take pictures. A few years from now it won't be so raw.
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Post by pelirroja on Sept 3, 2015 17:25:00 GMT
Since the breakup just happened, for now I would put off making any LOs if at all possible. In a few weeks (or months), it will be clearer if there is any hope of reconciliation or what their new relationship will look like, or if they even maintain contact at all. I'm sorry you're facing this heartbreak: give it time. This is still too new to make a decision right now.
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Post by Linda on Sept 3, 2015 20:37:36 GMT
I scrapped the photos of my daughter and her first boyfriend - even though they had broken up by the time I actually did the layouts. I've done the same thing with photos of the various and sundry ex-wives/ex-husbands in the extended family - I don't go back and write them out of my scrapbooks.
I would probably still include some photos with her in them but perhaps put the focus more on him than her&him when possible. Creative cropping may help and if you have some photos of JUST him - then enlarge those and make them the focal point. I wouldn't cut her out completely though - she was part of his life and part of those events
(((Hugs))) it's hard when your child is hurting
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 3, 2015 21:48:19 GMT
ETA: I have pictures of my old boyfriends in my albums. They don't bother me in the least and I am glad they are in there. That's how I feel, too. She was his first real girlfriend. I think in the future, he will want the photos to remember her.
I'm toying with the idea of putting her photos in a pocket so that they are included but not front and centre. I'm a little sad because I took a beautiful photo of them when he was in his tux and I had the page all planned out in my head. Oh well. C'est la vie!
Thanks for your thoughts, ladies.
Perhaps you scrap that page and put it under another page to pull out at a later date. Gotta love a guy all dressed up. |
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Post by myboysnme on Sept 4, 2015 0:55:09 GMT
I scrapped all the photos of my son's ex girlfriend that he was in with her and a couple of special ones that he took of her. The thing is many of the photos were scrapped while they were still together.
I scrapped a subsequent girlfriend and him as well, but it was a much shorter relationship. His current girlfriend I don't take many photos but I do scrap them.
I scrapped my own old boyfriends as well. It was part of life at the time.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 4, 2015 2:44:34 GMT
ETA: I have pictures of my old boyfriends in my albums. They don't bother me in the least and I am glad they are in there. That's how I feel, too. She was his first real girlfriend. I think in the future, he will want the photos to remember her.
I'm toying with the idea of putting her photos in a pocket so that they are included but not front and centre. I'm a little sad because I took a beautiful photo of them when he was in his tux and I had the page all planned out in my head. Oh well. C'est la vie!
Thanks for your thoughts, ladies.
Can you make some of the pages for YOU with those photos you love and put them away where he won't see them for a long, long time? And do some others for him where she isn't as prevalent in the pictures/story? Decades from now, he might like having those pages you made just for you. |
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Post by cmpeter on Sept 4, 2015 4:19:15 GMT
I would give it some time. My son and his girlfriend were together for the whole year as seniors. They broke up right before he left for college. But, in the last year have gotten back together three or four times. I really thought their last break up was the final one. But, she was over at our house last weekend.
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FurryP
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Jun 26, 2014 19:58:26 GMT
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Post by FurryP on Sept 5, 2015 21:18:50 GMT
I do not rewrite history when I document older photos. I would have used them at the time and they were obviously important enough to to take pictures. A few years from now it won't be so raw. Well said! |
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