|
|
Post by **Angie** on Sept 10, 2015 13:02:50 GMT
A friend of my son's has been having trouble being bullied. So bad that she moved in with another family member so she could go to a different school.
She posted on Facebook last night that she was tired of people spreading rumors, that she was scared to go to public places because of threats, cries herself to sleep every night. That no one is there for her.
I've known her since she was in first grade, so 8 years, and she never posts serious stuff like that.
I posted "sweetie, we are always here for you".
This morning, I see notifications that her sister told her to remove the post and she did. I brought it up to my dh and he agreed with the sister saying "putting stuff like that on Facebook will just give the bullies something else to pick on her about".
I disagree. I see it as she feels alone and the post was her way of asking for support.
What say the peas?
|
|
|
|
Post by gritzi on Sept 10, 2015 13:08:48 GMT
Bullies will always look for anything to add to their arsenal. I somewhat agree w/your husband. In this situation I would delete all social media for the young girl, and seek counseling to help her with the bullying issues. "Putting it out there" can gain sympathy from others while adding an arsenal to those looking for a fight.
|
|
Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,772 
Location: Kentucky
|
Post by Kerri W on Sept 10, 2015 13:10:05 GMT
I think it could go either way and it would be impossible for *general* you to know without being close to the girl. It would make me take notice and I'd probably watch from afar to see if the behavior continues. If it does, and I was concerned I would mention it to the school counselor then let it go.
The DD of one of my close friends posts stuff like this multiple times a day. From the outside she would cause concern with the way she posts about being bullied and how unfair her life is. The reality of this situation is that she is in counseling, her mother is very much aware of and involved in what is going on and it is very much attention seeking behavior. It's completely different than the picture she paints on social media.
|
|
|
|
Post by meeko77 on Sept 10, 2015 13:11:42 GMT
While I understand the girl needed sympathy and support, I agree that "putting it all out there" will only fuel the fire for the bullies.
|
|
tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
|
Post by tincin on Sept 10, 2015 13:17:14 GMT
Bullies take their ammo where they can get it. You can bet one of her "friends" will or would have shared it with them. It's sad but your DH is probably right.
|
|
tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
|
Post by tiffanytwisted on Sept 10, 2015 13:56:14 GMT
Bullies take their ammo where they can get it. You can bet one of her "friends" will or would have shared it with them. It's sad but your DH is probably right. Sadly, this. |
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Sept 10, 2015 14:19:07 GMT
Both. It was a plea, but yes, if the bullies get it, it could be used against her.
I hate how mean teens can be to each other. It is heartbreaking to hear of a child being afraid to go places or that they switched schools. And unfortunately with the Internet, the bullies can follow you
|
|
|
|
Post by cyndijane on Sept 10, 2015 14:26:08 GMT
Both. It was a plea, but yes, if the bullies get it, it could be used against her. I hate how mean teens can be to each other. It is heartbreaking to hear of a child being afraid to go places or that they switched schools. And unfortunately with the Internet, the bullies can follow you And, social media isn't where anyone should go for critical support like that. She needs help, and posts like that on FB or other social media will not get her the help she needs. I really think people who already feel emotionally isolated should be encouraged to avoid social media- it's the complete opposite of social, it's isolating. You're alone with your thoughts. And if your thoughts aren't positive to begin with, comparing yourself to others online won't help. |
|
georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
|
Post by georgiapea on Sept 10, 2015 14:38:10 GMT
Whining in a public way never works out well. I once had a woman (we were in our very early 20's) say to me "You don't like me, do you?". Uh, I hardly knew her, why would I dislike her? But I found the question so strange I avoided her after that.
It's good that the girl's sister realized that her post was not going to get her the respect she hoped it would.
|
|
scrappinghappy
Pearl Clutcher
“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say “Hello.” Goodbye. I’m late...."
Posts: 4,306
|
Post by scrappinghappy on Sept 10, 2015 15:29:35 GMT
I have a dd just a year older. Teen girls can be so cruel. I see that post as a cry for help.
I'd probably ask my daughter to take it down too.
If I saw that post though, I would invite her out to lunch and talk to her But I'm like that with all my kids' friends.
This is also an opportunity to talk to your kids about bullying, cyberpunk and standing up for others.
|
|
NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
|
Post by NoWomanNoCry on Sept 10, 2015 15:44:46 GMT
I don't believe it belongs on fb it will just add more issues. I do think she needs to have adults step in and see about getting this stopped. Clearly her changing schools isn't helping and she shouldn't have to live like this at all.
|
|
anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
|
Post by anniebygaslight on Sept 10, 2015 16:03:45 GMT
I agree with those who advised her to remove the post. Why give the bullies more ammo?
|
|
|
|
Post by anonrefugee on Sept 10, 2015 17:22:43 GMT
I think it could go either way and it would be impossible for *general* you to know without being close to the girl. It would make me take notice and I'd probably watch from afar to see if the behavior continues. If it does, and I was concerned I would mention it to the school counselor then let it go. The DD of one of my close friends posts stuff like this multiple times a day. From the outside she would cause concern with the way she posts about being bullied and how unfair her life is. The reality of this situation is that she is in counseling, her mother is very much aware of and involved in what is going on and it is very much attention seeking behavior. It's completely different than the picture she paints on social media. I'm glad you write this. Kids here are being taught to respond to these posts with support and posts of encouragement. Instead of giving the bullies fuel its giving others support. And it's working, even my youngest DS mentioned it. Social media is a tool, we've got to teach kids to use it, not withdraw from it in fear. |
|
