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Post by anxiousmom on Sept 21, 2015 16:42:11 GMT
Four hours is almost too long for just about ANY kind of pursuit much less one that requires me to be naked. I am too old for that nonsense.  |
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Sept 21, 2015 16:42:52 GMT
I have a short attention span/ADD. 4 hours of anything is too much.
Lavendar - just want to give you a hug. That's a very raw and emotional story to share, I'm so glad to hear you're in a better place now!!! |
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Post by Meri-Lyn on Sept 21, 2015 16:44:36 GMT
I dunno, maybe in my much, much younger days, there were some "not get out of bed days." But there were a few breaks here and there, if you know what I'm sayin'.
But now? No way! Even on vacation, 20-30 minutes, maybe? 45 at the most? Yeah, then you lose the friction, and that's it. Forget it.
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Post by mrsscrapdiva on Sept 21, 2015 16:52:10 GMT
In all seriousness, I think there is something psychological going on with this. Just like what Lavendarlayoutlady said. It is a problem when he is no longer respecting her needs/wants/desires and he is all about himself and what he needs and his control.
I really feel bad for her because she "has" to get things done with the kids and go places on little or not sleep and he has plenty of time to rest. He sounds like a real asshole in my opinion. I am sorry but doesn't seem amazing to me.
She can say no...can't she?
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,718 
Location: Ohio
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Post by StephDRebel on Sept 21, 2015 16:58:25 GMT
I wonder if there is an issue with him watching porn and masturbating regularly. I've been hearing from a lot of women that their partners are able to get and keep an erection but they can't ejaculate during sex. They either keep going and then fake an orgasm to stop or they roll over and take care of things themselves.
I've been researching some and it seems like it's become more common now that porn is so readily available- men are masturbating frequently and a vagina simply can't match the feel/friction/firmness of his grip and the men are conditioned to that feel and are unable to achieve orgasm with their partner.
It could be, it could have nothing to do with that, but i'm hearing about it more and more frequently.
On a personal note, no thanks. I'm good with a quarterly marathon session, but just straight bumping uglies for 4 hours? Not fun.
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Post by pierkiss on Sept 21, 2015 16:58:40 GMT
They do that every single time? No. I like sleep too much and it's really freaking hard to chase after a bunch of kids on almost no sleep. Every once in a while sure! But not every time.
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loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,662
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Post by loco coco on Sept 21, 2015 17:00:50 GMT
I'd risk hurting his ego and tell him that while I'm attracted to him, no amount of gorgeousness is worth enduring that. I cannot imagine regularly being "in the mood" or aroused for that long myself, nor would I enjoy the after effects. Unless he has a teeny tiny penis, she has got to be raw and sore the next day not to mention exhausted from lack of sleep. He's got two hands he needs to use more often. hes probably tried but his arms get too tired 2 hours in |
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Post by rainangel on Sept 21, 2015 17:17:25 GMT
I would be SERIOUSLY grumpy if I wasn't getting enough sleep. Especially if I had kids to take care of in the morning.
She needs to tell him to either let her get enough sleep, or have a 4 hour marathon and HE gets up to take care of the kids. I can't tell you how offensive I find it that he expects her to have sex all night, get little to no sleep, and then she has to get up and get the kids ready while he gets to sleep in.
I am fine with the 4 hours of sex, as long as she is fine with it too. What I am NOT fine with is her sacrificing what precious little time she has to sleep, and him completely ignoring her need for rest. I am angry at this guy. Make HIM sacrifice his sleep for this if he is so hard up for it!
The 4 hours of sex is ok though, as long as there is some variation during those 4 hours. 4 hours of straight up bumping uglies would effing painful! No way I could manage to repeat THAT every night.
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,524
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Sept 21, 2015 17:17:40 GMT
Well, now I know why I'm single. I have never been interested in having sex for 4 hours...even after a break. HELL NO!
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,652
Location: The Grand Canyon
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Sept 21, 2015 17:53:31 GMT
I think there is some underlying issue. What stood out to me is that when she tried to broach the subject he immediately got defensive and would not engage in a conversation with her about it. It is also extremely unfair of him to expect her to sacrifice sleep and every day functionality while he gets what he wants and then can sleep in, etc. I hope she can have an honest conversation with him and they can find a middle ground. If my husband wouldn't listen to me at all, the four hour session would be a zero session pretty damn quick.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Sept 21, 2015 17:56:57 GMT
I have a short attention span/ADD. 4 hours of anything is too much.
Lavendar - just want to give you a hug. That's a very raw and emotional story to share, I'm so glad to hear you're in a better place now!!! Thank you. |
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Post by peanuttle on Sept 21, 2015 18:00:36 GMT
I think that is ridiculous and feel very bad for your friend. If it is not what she likes/wants as well and she can't broach the subject with her husband, I think there are bigger problems with him.
And the fact that she has to get up and take care of the kids while he sleeps in, um, NO!
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Sept 21, 2015 18:07:16 GMT
My guess is that he has ED or something similar. He can't keep it up and needs to take "breaks" to get it going again.
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marianne
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys. . . My monkeys fly!
Posts: 4,176
Location: right smack dab in the middle of SC
Site Supporter
Jun 25, 2014 21:08:26 GMT
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Post by marianne on Sept 21, 2015 18:07:51 GMT
Ouch. I haven't done anything like that since I was a teenager, don't care for marathon sessions that end up leaving me feeling raw. After a point it's mainly just friction. I find it really odd that that's ALL he's interested in. Show of masculinity? No nerve endings? He sounds a little off. I sure as hell wouldn't be staying up all night so my husband could rub me raw for four hours on a regular basis. That's weird.   |
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Post by panda on Sept 21, 2015 18:16:43 GMT
This stood out to me. It seems like a control tactic to me. From what you described in the OP, it sounds like she feels that she cannot say no to marathon sex without a negative repercussion. I may see this situation through tainted eyes because I was in an abusive relationship where sex was mandatory. And although it wasn't 4 hours at a time, it was easily 5-8 sex sessions a day, around the clock, interrupting sleep, not caring if I was sick or had just had surgery. And to truly answer the question in the OP, four hours is only too much if either partner feels it is. It sounds like she does. I was also in an abusive relationship, and this was my reaction to the OP too. My husband didn't want multiple sessions a day, thank god, but if I was ever too tired to do it at all (and I was much busier working and doing everything at home than he was), he made sure I'd regret it. |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Sept 21, 2015 18:30:43 GMT
This stood out to me. It seems like a control tactic to me. From what you described in the OP, it sounds like she feels that she cannot say no to marathon sex without a negative repercussion. I may see this situation through tainted eyes because I was in an abusive relationship where sex was mandatory. And although it wasn't 4 hours at a time, it was easily 5-8 sex sessions a day, around the clock, interrupting sleep, not caring if I was sick or had just had surgery. And to truly answer the question in the OP, four hours is only too much if either partner feels it is. It sounds like she does. I was also in an abusive relationship, and this was my reaction to the OP too. My husband didn't want multiple sessions a day, thank god, but if I was ever too tired to do it at all (and I was much busier working and doing everything at home than he was), he made sure I'd regret it. (((hugs)))) No one deserves that kind of treatment. No one should ever know that kind of pain. I'm sorry you ever did. |
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
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Post by oldcrow on Sept 21, 2015 18:57:04 GMT
You say he is a fitness nut - so are these sessions instead of going to the gym. Might account for the abs.
The man has a problem and because of that she has a problem.
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Post by nyxish on Sept 21, 2015 19:05:40 GMT
i think she needs to talk to him - and not fall for the "What?! Are you saying you aren't attracted to me?!" dodge.
Also: if she otherwise enjoys it, she should consider skipping church now and again to get some needed sleep....or insist that he get up to get the kids ready at least 50% of the time.
Sleep is super important to me - i can not function without it.
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Post by nicole2112 on Sept 21, 2015 19:06:23 GMT
I feel so bad for the poor girl for missing out on so much sleep. She needs time away...to sleep, bless her.
Then the guy sleeps in and she showers and takes the kids to church? What in the world?
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trollie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
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Post by trollie on Sept 21, 2015 19:11:05 GMT
No fucking way.
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Post by tinydogmafia on Sept 21, 2015 19:11:17 GMT
She has attempted to voice her displeasure at the situation and he used a manipulative tactic to shut her down by immediately questioning her attraction to him. Huge red flags here. Not only in the guilt/manipulation, but in that ALL of their sex happens to be marathon sex that interferes with HER daily life and not his. What if she just opted for a quickie? Would he turn her down? Pressure her into a marathon session? Make her feel bad because she only wanted to spend a short amount of time being intimate instead of hours? I'm not trying to play therapist, but if one of my friends told me the same story I'd be super worried that behind closed doors this guy was totally different than the hot, well put together guy he was presenting to the outside world. And I'd worry about my friend having to deal with control issues I could only speculate were happening privately. As for 4 hour sex sessions... not since I was 20ish and could spend the whole day in bed and then could let my poor lady area recover for a few days. |
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Post by chlerbie on Sept 21, 2015 19:15:22 GMT
I'm with a Marathon kind of guy myself--but never at the expense of me not getting enough sleep, however. We don't have kids, so we can start earlier, for one thing. And it's not ALL pounding sex the whole time, but other similar stuff in between..haha... And not that long EVERY time.
So, if it's something that they're BOTH into, that's one thing, but if it's affecting her life and he's not willing to cut her any sort of break, she really needs to figure out what is going on there.
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Mr styler
Junior Member
Posts: 50
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Post by Mr styler on Sept 21, 2015 19:18:04 GMT
Does the four hours include lighting candles, having a glass of wine, putting on music, maybe showering together, extended foreplay or is it four hours of humping?
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Post by 950nancy on Sept 21, 2015 19:18:09 GMT
Yeah, I'd start the time clock and tell him that the amount of time it took us to do the nasty would be the amount of time I would be sleeping in the next morning. He would have to get the kids up and ready. He seems very, very inconsiderate and only thinking about himself. We would have another session until my lady garden recovered. I think if both people are into something, go for it. If they aren't, there's a problem.
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Post by merry on Sept 21, 2015 19:20:21 GMT
(Dons clinician hat)... I would try to bring the subject up with her again in privacy and let her know this is not common. If in any certain terms it bothers her, please recommend she seek counsel with a sex therapist. There are really helpful and well trained counselors that can help her (and eventually him) approach this issue and find a compromise that will keep both of them happy. Tell her to ask her OB/GYN for a recommendation and then tell her she needs to get some silicone based lubricant until they get it figured out. (Replaces scrappy hat)  |
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Post by mom on Sept 21, 2015 19:26:14 GMT
OMG I love the Peas.
So educational, on many levels!
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Post by abr79 on Sept 21, 2015 19:27:54 GMT
1. "Bangover" is the BEST new word. Ever.
2. Even in our early relationship, I don't think we ever went more than an hour...if that.
3. Today, my body wouldn't be able to handle it...I'd probably have a stroke. I'm a very strong..."orgasm-er" and can get to the point to where I almost black out. (not complaining...my hubby takes care of business and does it well....but I could never do 4 hours of that).
4. If she were okay with the marathons, then who am I to judge? But considering she's talking to you about how it's making her outside of the bedroom life a little harder to live and that her husband is manipulating her with guilt, then I think there is a huge problem.
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Post by littlemama on Sept 21, 2015 19:35:15 GMT
Four hours??? Is he taking that long to "complete" the act or is he able to "complete" multiple times within that time frame.
And, yes, "bangover" is a great word!
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,836
Location: Kentucky
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Post by Kerri W on Sept 21, 2015 19:45:03 GMT
I need more sleep than that so it wouldn't work for me. No personal knowledge but a friend who is a teacher had an issue with some students putting Viagra in another students water bottle. In conversation over that, she mentioned that the erection could last 4 hours because of the Viagra. Again, not sure how accurate it is because this was part of a conversation about a totally different subject and I have no personal knowledge...BUT...could it be because he has to take some kind of enhancement type thing? Four hours is the 'seek medical attention' cut off point, per the commercials, so I don't think Viagra causes erections to last that long on a normal basis. Not according to WebMD. But again, no personal knowledge. |
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Post by vspindler on Sept 21, 2015 19:45:07 GMT
Screw this not wanting to know crap!  |
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