mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Sept 24, 2015 1:25:58 GMT
Many years ago, I had a college roommate who kept going back to the doctor for a medical problem. They kept telling her it was nothing and she meekly accepted their diagnosis. She was 18, had no medical knowledge, and trusted doctors. After about the fifth time she went back with an ever increasing pain in her lower right abdomen followed by an abrupt cessation of pain, a friend of ours who was pre-med went with her and was very insistent on tests being run. Long story short, her appendix had actually ruptured. (She had been told to go home 8 hours before because "if you're not in pain any more, then tehre is no problem".) She is lucky to be alive and the reason she is, IMO, is that her friend got insistent and aggressive. On her own, she would have just gone back home. Hence, why IMO it's never a bad idea to have someone else there as an advocate.
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Post by Baseballmom23 on Sept 24, 2015 2:30:52 GMT
You kid suffers a head injury and your co-worker has the balls to criticize you? Your co-worker is an ass. ^^^^This^^^^
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Post by marykate on Sept 24, 2015 2:34:11 GMT
No, you are not being a "helicopter mom."
If you wanted to attend your son's annual, routine physical, that would be hovering a bit too closely. But in this case, no way.
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Post by Marina on Sept 24, 2015 2:37:34 GMT
Typically for serious medical issues it's recommended to have an extra set of ears along as often the ill party isn't taking everything in that is said by the doctor. In the case of an 18 year old boy with a head injury that's doubly necessary. Always go with your gut as a mom! Another one dismissing the coworker's comments.
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Post by scrapbookdiva on Sept 24, 2015 2:52:35 GMT
Thanks everyone! I'm glad I went. the doctor recommended that ds go to a physiotherapist. So we got the referral and I booked him an appointment in the office downstairs, got the insurance sorted out before he goes and now he can attend those appointments by himself. But I'll be back at the next doctor appointment.
I think I'll take my coffee break at a different time for a while and avoid my coworker. He's not a bad guy. I might be a bit stressed out these days and let it get to me.
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Post by mom on Sept 24, 2015 2:56:33 GMT
The rule in my family is that any kind of serious illness/injury requires a second person to attend the appointment with the ill/injured. This is to ensure that all the questions get answered and the answers are clearly understood. Often what happens is that the person injured or ill is overwhelmed and/or sick/hurting/etc. and doesn't always follow what the doctors are saying. So in the case you presented, someone would tag along whether it was me or another savvy adult just to be the one who takes notes and clarifies the unclear. If it is a helicopter parent, you may want to check in with my almost 70 year mother and her 72 year sister who attend each other's appointments all the time. They don't even bat an eye when it comes to tagging along with one of us 'kids' (who range in age from 49-36.) This is my family.
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Post by gritzi on Sept 24, 2015 2:56:28 GMT
My teen son suffered a serious concussion this summer that was a 7 week recovery. I would feel like telling said co-worker to kiss my a$$, but I think a "we all parent differently don't we, bless your heart" comment might suffice Concussions are serious. My teen's injury would not have had different results at age 15 or 18. He was not capable of making decisions, was very quick to be quite impulsive, had A LOT of difficulty processing & concentrating.
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happymomma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Aug 6, 2014 23:57:56 GMT
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Post by happymomma on Sept 24, 2015 3:09:16 GMT
Blah blah helicopter mom blah blah. As many of you know my now 26 year old son had extensive open heart surgery last year. This is a "kid" (yes, he will ALWAYS be my kid) is one who won't even take a Tylenol. He's on several meds now as a result of that surgery including Coumadin which they are STILL adjusting a year later. He's "not really worried" about taking his meds. Ugh. I was just visiting him in Montana this month and he happened to have an appointment with a new doctor. He'd already told the doctor that I'd be coming along, which I didn't even know about. Well, he told the doctor, "Everything is fine." I knew he'd stopped taking two of his meds because A. He thought they might be making him gain weight. B. He just didn't think he needed them. When the doc asked him if he was still taking meds X, Y, and Z, he said yes. I spilled the beans right then. The doctor explained the importance of the meds and he agreed to start taking them again. If I hadn't been 'helicoptering' I wouldn't have had her help convincing him that these were crucial and not just 'popping more pills.' Ugh. I don't give a rat's ass who does or doesn't think I should be still watching over him. He's my only child and I love him. The helicopter term is ridiculous, whether it be about health or helping them move or whatever. Since when did it become okay to help other people in our lives but not our own children just because they are over 18? You absolutely did the right thing and don't let anyone tell you differently. I sometimes think those that make snide remarks about this might be jealous that they don't have anyone that cares enough about them to help them with situations in life.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 6:11:14 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 3:33:59 GMT
i think the age is irrelevant in this case if it was my older friend, my sibling, my parent, i would support anyone who has had a brain injury including going to appointments with them maybe your co-worker should read up on brain injuries
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
Jul 7, 2014 19:36:30 GMT
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Post by zella on Sept 24, 2015 6:08:03 GMT
Nope. When it comes to health and medical appointments, I don't think there is an age when going along with your kids becomes inappropriate. I still sometimes accompany my 23 year old. Husbands and wives sometimes go with each other. Particularly if anything important, difficult or new is being discussed, it is actually wise to have a second set of ears there, and a person who may add info that the patient forgets or doesn't consider important.
So no; not helicopter.
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Post by mom on Sept 24, 2015 6:17:54 GMT
Blah blah helicopter mom blah blah. As many of you know my now 26 year old son had extensive open heart surgery last year. This is a "kid" (yes, he will ALWAYS be my kid) is one who won't even take a Tylenol. He's on several meds now as a result of that surgery including Coumadin which they are STILL adjusting a year later. He's "not really worried" about taking his meds. Ugh. I was just visiting him in Montana this month and he happened to have an appointment with a new doctor. He'd already told the doctor that I'd be coming along, which I didn't even know about. Well, he told the doctor, "Everything is fine." I knew he'd stopped taking two of his meds because A. He thought they might be making him gain weight. B. He just didn't think he needed them. When the doc asked him if he was still taking meds X, Y, and Z, he said yes. I spilled the beans right then. The doctor explained the importance of the meds and he agreed to start taking them again. If I hadn't been 'helicoptering' I wouldn't have had her help convincing him that these were crucial and not just 'popping more pills.' Ugh. I don't give a rat's ass who does or doesn't think I should be still watching over him. He's my only child and I love him. The helicopter term is ridiculous, whether it be about health or helping them move or whatever. Since when did it become okay to help other people in our lives but not our own children just because they are over 18? You absolutely did the right thing and don't let anyone tell you differently. I sometimes think those that make snide remarks about this might be jealous that they don't have anyone that cares enough about them to help them with situations in life. Hugs to you @happymomma. I am on coumadin as well - and it sucks. So many restrictions and side effects. HOWEVER, your son is blessed to have you willing to step up and tell the Dr. My dad always goes with me when I get my blood checked (weekly still), and he is the first to speak up if my levels are bad, and he knows I had alcohol or something else I shouldn't have. I am truly blessed that he cares enough to go with me - we make a weekly date of it with lunch. I know he won't always be around but man, it is so nice knowing he has my back when we are at the dr.
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happymomma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Aug 6, 2014 23:57:56 GMT
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Post by happymomma on Sept 24, 2015 12:15:09 GMT
Blah blah helicopter mom blah blah. As many of you know my now 26 year old son had extensive open heart surgery last year. This is a "kid" (yes, he will ALWAYS be my kid) is one who won't even take a Tylenol. He's on several meds now as a result of that surgery including Coumadin which they are STILL adjusting a year later. He's "not really worried" about taking his meds. Ugh. I was just visiting him in Montana this month and he happened to have an appointment with a new doctor. He'd already told the doctor that I'd be coming along, which I didn't even know about. Well, he told the doctor, "Everything is fine." I knew he'd stopped taking two of his meds because A. He thought they might be making him gain weight. B. He just didn't think he needed them. When the doc asked him if he was still taking meds X, Y, and Z, he said yes. I spilled the beans right then. The doctor explained the importance of the meds and he agreed to start taking them again. If I hadn't been 'helicoptering' I wouldn't have had her help convincing him that these were crucial and not just 'popping more pills.' Ugh. I don't give a rat's ass who does or doesn't think I should be still watching over him. He's my only child and I love him. The helicopter term is ridiculous, whether it be about health or helping them move or whatever. Since when did it become okay to help other people in our lives but not our own children just because they are over 18? You absolutely did the right thing and don't let anyone tell you differently. I sometimes think those that make snide remarks about this might be jealous that they don't have anyone that cares enough about them to help them with situations in life. Hugs to you @happymomma. I am on coumadin as well - and it sucks. So many restrictions and side effects. HOWEVER, your son is blessed to have you willing to step up and tell the Dr. My dad always goes with me when I get my blood checked (weekly still), and he is the first to speak up if my levels are bad, and he knows I had alcohol or something else I shouldn't have. I am truly blessed that he cares enough to go with me - we make a weekly date of it with lunch. I know he won't always be around but man, it is so nice knowing he has my back when we are at the dr. I wish I could be closer to keep a better eye on him but I live 1149 miles away. FTR, his Coumadin isn't one of the meds he stopped. He does understand the importance of that with his mechanical valve. Im glad your dad can go with you! Trust me when I say you are helping him too. And what a lovely weekly lunch date tradition. Best wishes to you with that devil Coumadin, lol.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Sept 24, 2015 12:28:56 GMT
I think whenever you need to see doctor about something important medically its good to have another person with you. Then you ca make sure you understood what the dr said.
In case of a head injury... uh.. there are A LOT of reasons to go with him.
Ignore your co-worker and continue being a great mom!!
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Sept 24, 2015 12:30:33 GMT
In most cases, I would say 'yes' to the helicopter thing but not when it comes to head injuries.
Tell your co-worker to piss off.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Sept 24, 2015 13:25:48 GMT
You kid suffers a head injury and your co-worker has the balls to criticize you? Your co-worker is an ass.
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