JustTricia
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,826
Location: Indianapolis
Jul 2, 2014 17:12:39 GMT
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Post by JustTricia on Sept 24, 2015 12:24:52 GMT
I think the issue here is "seniors". Had you just posted a vent about two customers there wouldn't have been an issue, people post about the close person in the checkout lane or the person who doesn't pay attention all the time. Nothing you said is specific to seniors. The person in front of you was distracted for whatever reason and the person behind you was being a jerk. That is any age.
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Post by lollapealooza on Sept 24, 2015 12:54:08 GMT
I get what you mean. I adore and am friends with my almost 80 Mother but the checkout lane with her can make me batty. And she is as independent and fully functional as she ever was! It's just now she's a little particular about double checking she's got all of her pieces and parts. We all were toddlers once, and if we are lucky we get to be seniors too. Few go through life without annoying someone along the way. I too appreciate the folks that work with both! I think I'm that way, too. But I (and maybe your mum) have a good reason. I'm tired of checkout people rushing customers (me) through the line and throwing everything helter-skelter into bags and never even saying thank you, only to get home and find I didn't bring home everything I paid for. Even in some cases, a bag or 2 of other peoples' groceries that THEY paid for. I get tired of going back to get things straightened out, and maybe your mum's had the same experiences. Just sayin' - thanks for reading.
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Post by anonrefugee on Sept 24, 2015 13:01:45 GMT
lollapealooza isn't that the truth - and it's not age related! I'm happy I found the rogue product in my bag just before I paid this week so it could be resolved with cashier. But I'm sure the woman in front of me is going to miss it, and she was long gone. All the more reason to praise a patient cashier!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 21:58:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 13:09:59 GMT
Whenever I'm in line behind an elderly person who's distracted or slow, I just think that one day, that will be me. How would I want the person behind me to treat me? And then I try to behave accordingly.
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Post by delila on Sept 24, 2015 13:10:23 GMT
I take care of a man who is 96, 97 in December. If I got cranky or bend out of shape every time he walked slow, looked at items at the shops too long or took forever to order his meals then eat them I'd be pissed at him always! That old guy brings so much joy into my life that I just remind myself one day that I will be like him & I will need help & I hope I have someone like me to help me. I just love him so much & I am all he has. His family has left him, taken his money, stolen it & hasn't seen him in over a year.
delila
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Sept 24, 2015 13:19:28 GMT
I think this sums up how I feel about it. In the greater scheme of things, it may be a moment's aggravation, but nothing I would hold onto to vent about.
My mama is 90 years old now and simply cannot do anything fast anymore. But she does it all still... at her speed. I have learned a whole new way of moving through life when I am with her. And I've discovered that slowing down can bring it's own rewards.
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vent over
Sept 24, 2015 13:28:49 GMT
via mobile
Post by Drew on Sept 24, 2015 13:28:49 GMT
Nink didn't quote the OP before it was edited and toned down. The original OP was harsher and included calling seniors "overgrown 3 year olds". It was gross.
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Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,947
Location: North Idaho
Jul 1, 2014 23:30:44 GMT
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Post by Nink on Sept 24, 2015 13:33:17 GMT
Nink didn't quote the OP before it was edited and toned down. The original OP was harsher and included calling seniors "overgrown 3 year olds". It was gross. You're correct. I didn't re-read before quoting to realize that it had been edited as well.
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Post by ScrapsontheRocks on Sept 24, 2015 13:36:11 GMT
How sad- this is like board deja vu from a few weeks ago. Not cool, OP. It wasn't cool when Downs kids were the "target" and this is not cool.
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BarbaraUK
Drama Llama
Surrounded by my yarn stash on the NE coast of England...............!! Refupea 1702
Posts: 5,961
Location: England UK
Jun 27, 2014 12:47:11 GMT
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Post by BarbaraUK on Sept 24, 2015 13:39:13 GMT
If you work with senior citizens, bless you! Seriously you're on track for sainthood. I always see posts about teachers and working with kids, but geesh, if you're working with seniors, I think you're working with large scale preschoolers at times.
I was in line at Aldi today. There is one on my way home, I cringe to go there because it's usually packed with seniors. Today I was sandwiched between 2 women. At least 75 if a day. The one at the check out was totally distracted by something, the checkout lady had to keep telling her the total. Then the one behind me is practically in my shoes she's riding up the line so far. I was trying not to crowd the one paying but had to practically hold this other one back. She's pushing up all my groceries and moving up her stuff the whole time. Seriously? They have an automatic belt it will bring it up you don't have to crunch my chips to crumbs.
Then checkout gal finally get's the first one cleared out, starts my order, the first one she checked out is still trying to arrange her 4, yes 4 items in a bag. She then spots a pen on the floor. Keeps interrupting the checkout gal to give her the pen. At the same time the ol' gal behind me keeps asking her if she should unpack her box of 4 items or leave them. (No leave them, I'm going to have to make a casserole topping already with my chips at this point.)
I just stood there smiling at the clerk. She was SO patient. And those Aldi clerks have to work their butts off and then deal with people like this
So if you're dealing with this daily, kudos to you! This is the sort of thing I've experienced from middle aged people - and not just once recently! Seniors are usually happy to wait patiently for checkout and maybe enjoy a little chat whilst waiting. I haven't seen any evidence of checkout people - even in Aldi -feeling they have to 'deal' with seniors, in fact they are happy to chat and assist if needs be.
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MorningPerson
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,506
Location: Central Pennsylvania
Jul 4, 2014 21:35:44 GMT
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Post by MorningPerson on Sept 24, 2015 13:50:49 GMT
Just the other day there was a lady pushing a buggy who was just randomly putting things in a cart, followed by another lady with a cart who was consulting a list. The first woman would dart from one side of the aisle to the other without any regard to what was happening around her-I couldn't go around her for fear of running her over. The other woman turned and whispered to me that the other woman was her younger sister who had Alzheimer's and grocery shopping was her most favorite thing to do. She filled up her basket and the really nice manager of the store would take the cart and pretend to bag the items (but they would actually ring up and bag the other sister's stuff with the sister none the wiser.) ((I love my Publix)) Good Lord, this is one of the most beautiful things I've read in a long time. I'm holding back tears here. I'm not an overly religious person, but several years ago I read an essay about how we are all God's hands, feet, ears, etc., and this is such a beautiful example of God's love being shown to this woman by the people surrounding her. It's a great reminder for me to keep my eyes open to small ways I can be a blessing to others.
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oldcrow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,828
Location: Ontario,Canada
Jun 26, 2014 12:25:29 GMT
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Post by oldcrow on Sept 24, 2015 14:11:21 GMT
I 100% agree with Nink. The majority of my patients are elderly. LOVE them. It's the 50 and under generation that are needy, demanding, and whiney. Srs have GREAT stories. I work with seniors only and I'll take the seniors even with dementia over their children and grandchildren any day.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
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Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
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Post by caro on Sept 24, 2015 14:16:51 GMT
Just the other day there was a lady pushing a buggy who was just randomly putting things in a cart, followed by another lady with a cart who was consulting a list. The first woman would dart from one side of the aisle to the other without any regard to what was happening around her-I couldn't go around her for fear of running her over. The other woman turned and whispered to me that the other woman was her younger sister who had Alzheimer's and grocery shopping was her most favorite thing to do. She filled up her basket and the really nice manager of the store would take the cart and pretend to bag the items (but they would actually ring up and bag the other sister's stuff with the sister none the wiser.) ((I love my Publix)) Good Lord, this is one of the most beautiful things I've read in a long time. I'm holding back tears here. I'm not an overly religious person, but several years ago I read an essay about how we are all God's hands, feet, ears, etc., and this is such a beautiful example of God's love being shown to this woman by the people surrounding her. It's a great reminder for me to keep my eyes open to small ways I can be a blessing to others. I'm glad I read this this morning. I've lost my patience with my 90 year old mother many times lately. I take her grocery shopping once/twice a month and she spends three hrs just walking up and down aisles. I can drop her off, for a couple of hours I do my own thing, go back and spend the last hr helping her get through checkout. It's difficult, then I had a change in mindset. This is her social time. She and my dad shopped at this Kroger for 25 years together before he died and she slowed down. I've reminded myself how fortunate I am to still have my 90 year old mother who can still live in her home and grocery shop. So I try to extend this patience to other elderly grocery shoppers.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,732
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Sept 24, 2015 16:37:06 GMT
If you work with senior citizens, bless you! Seriously you're on track for sainthood. I always see posts about teachers and working with kids, but geesh, if you're working with seniors, I think you're working with large scale preschoolers at times.
I was in line at Aldi today. There is one on my way home, I cringe to go there because it's usually packed with seniors. Today I was sandwiched between 2 women. At least 75 if a day. The one at the check out was totally distracted by something, the checkout lady had to keep telling her the total. Then the one behind me is practically in my shoes she's riding up the line so far. I was trying not to crowd the one paying but had to practically hold this other one back. She's pushing up all my groceries and moving up her stuff the whole time. Seriously? They have an automatic belt it will bring it up you don't have to crunch my chips to crumbs.
Then checkout gal finally get's the first one cleared out, starts my order, the first one she checked out is still trying to arrange her 4, yes 4 items in a bag. She then spots a pen on the floor. Keeps interrupting the checkout gal to give her the pen. At the same time the ol' gal behind me keeps asking her if she should unpack her box of 4 items or leave them. (No leave them, I'm going to have to make a casserole topping already with my chips at this point.)
I just stood there smiling at the clerk. She was SO patient. And those Aldi clerks have to work their butts off and then deal with people like this
So if you're dealing with this daily, kudos to you! You just described more than half of my day, but I love the oldies. The other half was young mums concentrating more on their mobile phones and their kids than their shopping, and chatting office staff who evidently believed it beneath them to acknowledge a mere store assistant. My shift ended with one delightful woman who complained the packing area was too small (that's because it's NOT the packing area, it's my scanning area - your packing area is that blue shelf over there) and after this had been politely explained to her, she said that nobody in their right minds would want to do THAT and had a bit of a paddy, slamming her groceries around, flipping her hair and hmphing. Such an endearing display of reasonable, adult, mature behaviour. I'll take the kudos. Today I feel I deserve it. Thank you!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 21:58:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 17:15:33 GMT
When my Dad started with dementia I tried really hard to keep things 'normal' for him. That meant taking him shopping where he was in charge of his own money and wallet, taking him for haircuts, getting on buses, just generally doing things with him that he had always done for himself. He forgot how to use money, he knew he had to pay but the money in his wallet meant nothing to him. It would take us a little bit of time to sort out what he needed to give to the cashier and he would often walk away or argue that he didn't need change. One time he took all the items back off the conveyor and put them back in the trolley and we had to start all over again. It's a bit heartbreaking to think now that people might have been sighing and rolling their eyes because he was slow or cringing at his behaviour. My Dad was an incredibly intelligent man, he travelled all around the world with the Royal Navy and loved us all more than you can grasp. Now he's in a care home barely able to remember his own name or what he had for lunch. I fully expect that some of us writing here will end up with the same fate, I just hope that other people extend us some kindness, patience and time.
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Sept 24, 2015 17:43:38 GMT
I fully expect that some of us writing here will end up with the same fate, I just hope that other people extend us some kindness, patience and time. If we could just extend kindness, patience, and time for everyone. Not just the elderly, the sick etc. For the single mom who is new to an area and has to take her kids with her when she gets her hair cut. She knows no one and has no family so it's either bring her toddler or skip the haircut. We extend a tremendous amount of rights to children on the spectrum but seem to lack patience with the 30 year old adult with the same struggles. Whether the check out lane is slow or an aisle blocked due to an 8 year old or an 80 year old they are all deserving of kindness and patience instead of picking or choosing who we roll our eyes at. Do we all have bad days though? of course, sometimes even the most compassionate person seems to be dangling at the end of their ropes.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 21:58:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 17:54:18 GMT
Of course we do, patience is not always my strong point. On those days I take a deep breath and try to keep my opinions about others to myself, I'm not always successful
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 24, 2015 18:35:32 GMT
There are cultures where senior citizens are so well and deservedly respected for their wisdom. I've had women much younger crowd me in line and empty their carts before I've finished emptying mine. Your post would have probably garnered a lot of agreement if you'd left out the fact that these women were seniors. Does something scare you about growing old?
ETA: I have my AARP card and am proud of it. Move out of the way you whipper snappers!
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Sept 24, 2015 18:41:06 GMT
Whatever! obviously people didn't get the jist of my post I don't post 5000 a day. If anyone is always respecting the seniors it's me. I'm just saying I could not deal with those attitudes all day, and applauding those who do. Guess I was having a bad day. You know who is having a crap day? Two of my "older" friends. One had to put her husband into a living facility today for patients with Alzheimers. Because he was becoming too aggressive for her to handle. And the other one who is coughing up blood and was hospitalized. Those are two couples who have been married 40-50 years and are sleeping apart tonight for the first time and at least one of them will probably never share a home or a bed again. And then there are two friends who are waiting for results on their scans for cancer. THOSE people are having crap days. Standing behind someone in line who is a little slow and graciously is trying to pick up something off of the floor is not a crap day worthy of a vent. People vent about all sorts of things on here, are you the vent police? She vented and everyone jump on her for it. WTH? I had a senior do the same sort of thing today, yes it annoyed me. Before she moved out of the paying area the cashier had rung up my purchase and I had paid for it. Annoying yes but she did the best she could I'm sure. However if I wanted to vent about it, I wouldn't appreciate you saying it was not worth it. And for what it's worth, I did hold the door for her even though it took her a coon's age to get there and through it. OP, I am with you and understand the vent. It isn't as if you were pushing them out of your way or calling them names, you were simply venting. No harm, no foul.
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Post by abr79 on Sept 24, 2015 19:09:21 GMT
First, I get the annoyance at the checkout line. I abhor grocery shopping on a good day...when I'm already a little pissy? Forget about it. Whether it's children, 20-somethings, people my ages or seniors, I'm going to get annoyed. However, like a PP said, once I'm in my car and headed home? I've pretty much forgotten about it (the only time I remember is when that reeeeally annoying front end manager at Sam's comes to me in the self-checkout and harasses me about signing up for the Sam's credit card and if I need any help...I come here every week, dude! I got it! Back off!). Anyway, I understand the annoyance and if you want to vent about it fine.
However, I don't like that the basis of the vent was because of senior shoppers. Especially reading that the original post was edited to remove the "overgrown 3 year olds"...low blow. I"m not trying to be PC or anything but of all the people who deserve our patience and respect, it is seniors. Our country is known for how poorly we treat our seniors here and it's so sad. I've always been more comfortable around the older generation...they have amazing stories, they are hilarious and often, they can see and tell when someone's having a bad day. I don't know how many times an elderly customer comes into my store and gives me a hug because she can just tell I'm sad or upset or whatever. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive - I lost my 3 remaining grandparents all within an year and a half of each other and I miss my grandma the most. She had a rough go the last year of her life (dementia, etc.) and the thought of someone calling her an overgrown 3 year old makes me both angry and weepy.
Hope you can get over your annoyance.
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Post by chlerbie on Sept 24, 2015 19:12:34 GMT
I always cut seniors slack at the grocery store. Many of them are overly concerned about their items because many are on fixed incomes and have to be careful with every dollar they spend--so it's important to thm that they're rung up correctly, packed properly etc. And for many of them, a trip to the grocery store is a big outing.
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Post by mommaho on Sept 24, 2015 19:50:39 GMT
You know who is having a crap day? Two of my "older" friends. One had to put her husband into a living facility today for patients with Alzheimers. Because he was becoming too aggressive for her to handle. And the other one who is coughing up blood and was hospitalized. Those are two couples who have been married 40-50 years and are sleeping apart tonight for the first time and at least one of them will probably never share a home or a bed again. And then there are two friends who are waiting for results on their scans for cancer. THOSE people are having crap days. Standing behind someone in line who is a little slow and graciously is trying to pick up something off of the floor is not a crap day worthy of a vent. People vent about all sorts of things on here, are you the vent police? She vented and everyone jump on her for it. WTH? I had a senior do the same sort of thing today, yes it annoyed me. Before she moved out of the paying area the cashier had rung up my purchase and I had paid for it. Annoying yes but she did the best she could I'm sure. However if I wanted to vent about it, I wouldn't appreciate you saying it was not worth it. And for what it's worth, I did hold the door for her even though it took her a coon's age to get there and through it. OP, I am with you and understand the vent. It isn't as if you were pushing them out of your way or calling them names, you were simply venting. No harm, no foul. Thank you for saying what I was thinking! Sometimes we just need to vent, to get something off our chest - no one has to agree with us or validate us, but at the same time it doesn't do anyone any good to bash someone for their vent.
Hang in there OP -
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Post by delila on Sept 24, 2015 22:43:42 GMT
I was at the grocery shop today behind an older lady who was price checking with other shops. When her total came up she did not have enough money for all her groceries. My mind immediately went to this post. I offered to pay the difference for her but she was determined to put some items back. I was in no hurry but it did take a lot longer for the cashier to take items off than to ring them up. I was very very patient with her when she apologized again & again & I told her it was no problem at all. & it truly wasn't. I just wish she would of let me pay for those few items.
delila
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 21:58:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 22:52:12 GMT
I can't say I was really mad at the OP's post. I used to work with senior citizens at an assisted living center. The good far outweighed the bad. Still, you still have your moments. I think we all want to believe senior citizens are cute and cuddly but how many my mom is a narcissist threads have we seen? I remember some residents having few family members or friends visit and it was sad, but sometimes there is a good reason. Just say you have a mental illness scrapApea and no one will be allowed to jump all over you anytime it is deemed rude by the majority of the peas. We shall be told to put you on ignore and pay no attention to anything you say that's mean. We will also be told to not even open a new thread that you start. Even if you say rude things over and over and over (which you do not). We won't be allowed to call you out on your rude behavior.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 21:58:13 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 22:58:54 GMT
I would recommend never moving to Florida-we are surrounded by lots and lots and lots of older folks. We are the Mecca for the retirement set along with all of our own aging population. There are very few places in my world where the under 50 set is the majority. When I go to Publix, I know that there is a good chance that I will be one of the youngest ones there. I put on my patience panties and roll with it. I know I will be stuck in the aisle with two buggies parked adjacent to each other so you can't get by. I know that there will be the inevitable walk around the corner to just barely avoid the pusher of a buggy who is stopped to compare prices on oatmeal. Just the other day there was a lady pushing a buggy who was just randomly putting things in a cart, followed by another lady with a cart who was consulting a list. The first woman would dart from one side of the aisle to the other without any regard to what was happening around her-I couldn't go around her for fear of running her over. The other woman turned and whispered to me that the other woman was her younger sister who had Alzheimer's and grocery shopping was her most favorite thing to do. She filled up her basket and the really nice manager of the store would take the cart and pretend to bag the items (but they would actually ring up and bag the other sister's stuff with the sister none the wiser.) ((I love my Publix)) The list goes on and on. Grocery shopping is not a fast in and out deal. Best thing I ever did was realize that I needed to slow my roll and let it happen. I took my mom to an Oak Ridge Boys concert and damn I felt young! In the first time in forever, I was the first to the bathroom at intermission! FTR, I LOVED the concert! Off topic, but I'm sure I bother people at the grocery store. I WRITE OUT CHECKS when I can't find my debit card.
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vent over
Sept 25, 2015 2:00:05 GMT
via mobile
mom likes this
Post by freecharlie on Sept 25, 2015 2:00:05 GMT
Nink didn't quote the OP before it was edited and toned down. The original OP was harsher and included calling seniors "overgrown 3 year olds". It was gross. oh...I did not read that one.
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Post by mom on Sept 25, 2015 2:01:58 GMT
I saw the original post and it was disgusting. The post now has been 'watered' down considerably.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Sept 25, 2015 2:34:14 GMT
Yeah, it sure has. I saw it too, and it made me feel kind of sad. I get venting and all that, but still. I feel all stabby and violent when I see people being rude to senior citizens who are doing really nothing other than being slow or chatty with a cashier.
A long time ago, I had an experience that really made an impact on me. I was meeting my elderly great-aunt for lunch at a local mall. My aunt was in her 80's, but she was a spry old thing. She was truly one of my favorite people in the whole world. Funny, sweet, just a lovely person. So, I was driving around looking for a parking place, and there was someone in front of me who was honking her horn, making obscene gestures out the window, etc. I could see there was a car in front of her whose driver seemed to be having a difficult time parking her car for some reason. And it really seemed to be pissing off the driver in front of me. I couldn't see the car in front of her because she had a giant SUV. So the person finally parks, the SUV driver squealed around yelling something out the car window, and I was horrified to discover it was my aunt that she was so upset with. It just broke my heart to think of my dear, sweet aunt being treated so terribly.
I'm not the kind of person to be rude to someone anyway, but that experience had such an impact on me. That was probably 15 or so years ago, but I always think of that situation with my aunt when I see an older person who is causing others to be frustrated. I think of them being someone's beloved aunt or mother, and I often want to slap people when I see them being exasperated and unkind to someone elderly.
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