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Post by Delta Dawn on Sept 24, 2015 5:09:42 GMT
Ok now that the fun has worn off the depression that follows mania has set in. Every day I get up in the morning and think I should go workout; I will feel better; it is good for my mood. Ok these are good thoughts. Then it is too much effort to put on my running shoes and go to the gym to do the treadmill or anything. It's even too hard to just walk a couple of blocks in the neighbourhood.
I guess tomorrow is another day, right? I would like to go in the morning as the afternoon I am too "tired" and can't make myself go then. I put tired in parentheses because it's fatigue but it's also something else...I don't care if I go or not. Is apathy the right word?
How do you force yourself to do something you don't want to do? Fake it till you make it? Is that the best strategy?
Edited--I did go out tonight finally for about 1.5mile walk. That was as much as I could do.
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Post by mirabelleswalker on Sept 24, 2015 6:38:56 GMT
Anything is better than nothing, so good for you for going.
I have to exercise for my mental health. It does so much for me. Even though I know I will feel better afterward, I still have days when I really have to drag myself.
Two things help. One is a 15-minute rule. If I go and exercise for 15 minutes I can reassess. If I still don't feel like exercising I can leave. It's never happened! The other is that I have a buddy. We go together about 80% of the time. Knowing she'll be there makes me feel like I'll be a jerk if I bail. She's been on vacation for two weeks and it's been easier to think about not going. But I did, because of the 15 minute rule!
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Post by gar on Sept 24, 2015 6:41:01 GMT
How is your treatment going Elennah? Have you seen a doctor again recently to help cope with this?
All exercise is good and will help your mood somewhat but I don't know that it's a match for untreated depression.
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Post by wahinelei on Sept 24, 2015 6:47:44 GMT
I found that I look forward to exercise if I actually like doing it. I would make excuses all the time when I was doing the treadmill or elliptical but now I go all the time to do Zumba classes. I also like to do yoga and if Im not able to make it to class I will find a video on Youtube to do. You're much more motivated if you think its fun or really enjoy it.
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Post by mom on Sept 24, 2015 6:50:52 GMT
Yes, any exercise is good!
Depression sucks. Getting on a low dose anti-depressant is a good time to think about. It won't make it to where you love excercising, but it will make it a bit easier to get up and work out.
I speak from experience - getting treatment for depression - from a qualified doctor - is the best thing you will ever do for yourself.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
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Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Sept 24, 2015 12:45:45 GMT
I've mentioned before on your exercise posts - your body needs rest days.
So, if you don't feel like working out a few days during the week, fabulous. Listen to your body's cues. If you absolutely feel the need, go for a walk but understand that doing nothing is good too. |
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Post by gar on Sept 24, 2015 13:17:11 GMT
I would like to go in the morning as the afternoon I am too "tired" and can't make myself go then. I put tired in parentheses because it's fatigue but it's also something else...I don't care if I go or not. Is apathy the right word? . No, the right word is depression. Everything is too much effort when you're depressed. I really don't understand why you are so hard on yourself, it honestly can't help at all. You wouldn't berate yourself if you couldn't exercise because you had vertigo, for example, would you? |
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Post by Delta Dawn on Sept 24, 2015 13:32:46 GMT
Yes, any exercise is good! Depression sucks. Getting on a low dose anti-depressant is a good time to think about. It won't make it to where you love excercising, but it will make it a bit easier to get up and work out. I speak from experience - getting treatment for depression - from a qualified doctor - is the best thing you will ever do for yourself. I am on 2 antidepressants and 1 antipsychotic. I need to be on higher doses, but I can't handle the side effects. I've mentioned before on your exercise posts - your body needs rest days.
So, if you don't feel like working out a few days during the week, fabulous. Listen to your body's cues. If you absolutely feel the need, go for a walk but understand that doing nothing is good too. Rest days are good but I was on day 4 of a rest day! Also, walking gets rid of the leg pain (usually). I don't even use my Fitbit anymore as it makes me too competitive with myself. |
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
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Posts: 5,385 
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Post by RosieKat on Sept 24, 2015 13:38:15 GMT
I liked your update/edit. Yes, score one for you!
It's hard. Push yourself, yes, but also be gentle with yourself. Try to do it, and yeah, when you're on day 4 of not doing it, try to remember all the reasons it's good. As you know, it actually helps with the depression in addition to just being good for you. I think what you did was just perfect. And if you just really can't do it, maybe see if there is something else you can do for yourself that is positive rather than just neutral. By that I mean that instead of just sitting there staring at the TV, take a nice bath or paint your nails or cook something nice or just something that takes care of yourself in a different way. And know that sometimes just staring at the TV (or whatever) is OK, too.
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Post by gailoh on Sept 24, 2015 13:40:14 GMT
One step at a time...
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~Susan~
Pearl Clutcher
You need to check your boobs, mine tried to kill me!!!
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Jul 6, 2014 17:25:32 GMT
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Post by ~Susan~ on Sept 24, 2015 14:15:33 GMT
Something is always better than nothing. I'm glad that you got a walk in.
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Post by snappinsami on Sept 24, 2015 14:29:00 GMT
I have *never* been one to exercise a lot. Even going back to when I was younger, I just didn't do it. Didn't like it. I hate sweating (and I sometimes think I just have to THINK to sweat) and was just never in the mood to do anything physical. I also suffer from depression. As I got older/rounder, I knew I had to start exercising, but hated the thought because I felt I was just so out of shape I couldn't do anything worth while. The more I thought about it and how out of shape I was, the more it affected my depression. Around a year and a half ago, I started walking. I started on a trail by my house. It was a KILLER. (My fitbit said I'd gone up over 40 flights of stairs when I was done.) I did it a few days a week when I was done with work. After the first week or so, I didn't mind it that much. After around a month, I started to actually look forward to it. When we moved last year - and I had to leave that great trail behind - I started walking every day. There's an almost-2-mile loop that I can do from my house, and I usually do it before I start work (6am) or a little later once it's too dark to walk then. Once Tucker was old enough last year, I started taking him with me. HE looks forward to it every day, and his enthusiasm helps get me going on the days I don't feel like going. Together, we walk at 3.9-4mph. Alone, I can go faster. At least one day on the weekend, I go further (4-6 miles) with DH. I'm happy to say that I've finally gotten to the point where I WANT and NEED to go each day. It improves my mood, lets me clear my head, and just makes me feel good. As someone else said, one step/day at a time. Find something you think you'll like to do, and give yourself a chance to get used to it. Figure out what time of day is best for you. Personally, I know I need to do it early. Some people prefer later in the day. Doesn't matter, as long as you do it. If you walk, put some music on that you enjoy. If walking isn't doing it for you, find some videos on YouTube and try that. Try out Daily Burn (they have a free 30 day trial); DH has been using it for a while now and really loves it. Once you get into the groove, you'll probably start to feel better about a lot of things and overall as well. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just take it slow.  |
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perumbula
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Post by perumbula on Sept 24, 2015 14:36:14 GMT
The one thing that makes me get out and exercise is doing it with a friend. Knowing she is waiting for me and counting on me to be there makes me put my shoes on and get out the door. If she's not going to make it that day, I don't go. I simply can not get myself to do it. Well, I couldn't before we got our dog. Now I have to go even on the days my friend won't make it or else I'm cleaning up the accident.  Basically, I can't do it for myself. No matter how much I tell myself it helps (and it helps as much as medication if not more) no matter how much I remind myself I enjoy the walk when I do it. No matter how close I get to actually going. The shoes do not go on my feet unless someone else is counting on me. And that's the depression. It makes you apathetic and not put yourself as the priority. Is there someone you can report to? A friend or family member you can call and say "today I exercised?" Sometimes just being able to report your day can help. ETA: And can we also start assuming that when someone says "I'm struggling with my depression" they have already seen a doctor? All too often on here I see people ask for help and the only piece of advice people want to give is "go see a doctor" or "you need to up your dose." That's not helpful. Everyone knows that you go to a doctor for depression. How about we assume they are under treatment but need more? Medication is not always the great healer, especially with depression. I think we can assume the basics and go from there. There are lots of things beyond medicine that help depression (and one of them is people treating you as if you are smart enough to take care of the basics before you ask for help.) Also, it's none of our business whether someone is on medication or what they are taking. they shouldn't have to list their health history to get the advice they ask for. |
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Post by Delta Dawn on Sept 24, 2015 14:39:52 GMT
Several years ago I used to crave exercise. I used to wake up in the morning looking forward to going to the gym and working out. I would plan my workout and then execute it, come home and was happy that I did it. I want that back!
I want to feel better NOW and not in say 2 months or 6 months. I want to believe with meds and exercise and therapy I am going to feel 99% NOW.
Then there is "grief" which is the most horrible word in the language. I am trying to work through this but I am failing miserably. I have a party to go to today and I am too sad to go. We have special prayers this morning early and I am afraid I will start to cry and am not going. I don't want to wreck my friends' happy day.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Sept 24, 2015 14:44:24 GMT
The one thing that makes me get out and exercise is doing it with a friend. Knowing she is waiting for me and counting on me to be there makes me put my shoes on and get out the door. If she's not going to make it that day, I don't go. I simply can not get myself to do it. Well, I couldn't before we got our dog. Now I have to go even on the days my friend won't make it or else I'm cleaning up the accident. Basically, I can't do it for myself. No matter how much I tell myself it helps (and it helps as much as medication if not more) no matter how much I remind myself I enjoy the walk when I do it. No matter how close I get to actually going. The shoes do not go on my feet unless someone else is counting on me. And that's the depression. It makes you apathetic and not put yourself as the priority. Is there someone you can report to? A friend or family member you can call and say "today I exercised?" Sometimes just being able to report your day can help. Yes and thank you. That is a good idea. My BFF here doesn't want to pressure me into going to the gym or going for a walk, but she drops hints. She never forces me but she does rely on me to make her go, too. I will see what she wants to do today. Maybe she will want to go to the gym. If it's nice, we could go for a walk (the hilly walk because that's more challenging). I can also rely on my dad for encouragement and can report to him if I walked or not. That helps, too. |
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,521
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Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Sept 24, 2015 14:46:15 GMT
I have a stupid mantra that was told to me by a therapist. When I don't FEEL like working out I tell myself the following:
I don't FEEL like working out. I do not let FEELINGS dictate my behavior. If I change my behavior my feelings will follow.
So, this is how I get myself out of the house. I also tell myself to give it 10 minutes. If, after 10 minutes, I still don't FEEL like working out I give myself permission to quit. I have never quit. Once I get started I might as well finish it. For instance, last night I went for a 5 mile run. It took every fiber of my being to get out of the house. I started out thinking I'm only doing my 2.5 mile loop. Well, I got a mile into the run and decided I felt pretty good, so I increased the distance. I went from only doing 2.5 miles, to okay I'll do 3, wait maybe 3.5, to I feel great I'm doing 5!
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Post by Delta Dawn on Sept 24, 2015 15:19:01 GMT
I have a stupid mantra that was told to me by a therapist. When I don't FEEL like working out I tell myself the following: I don't FEEL like working out. I do not let FEELINGS dictate my behavior. If I change my behavior my feelings will follow. So, this is how I get myself out of the house. I also tell myself to give it 10 minutes. If, after 10 minutes, I still don't FEEL like working out I give myself permission to quit. I have never quit. Once I get started I might as well finish it. For instance, last night I went for a 5 mile run. It took every fiber of my being to get out of the house. I started out thinking I'm only doing my 2.5 mile loop. Well, I got a mile into the run and decided I felt pretty good, so I increased the distance. I went from only doing 2.5 miles, to okay I'll do 3, wait maybe 3.5, to I feel great I'm doing 5! Thank you for the idea! I do bargain with myself when I am outside walking. When I am doing weights I have a mantra that I say to myself. It helps. It's just getting out of the house that's so hard. You totally get it. You are awesome, too, by the way! I am going to try your mantra and see if it helps. I will write it out and put it in the car and on my mirrors in the house. I will see if that helps. |
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Post by dreamer on Sept 24, 2015 15:48:46 GMT
A hug for you. Sending healing to your heart.
Good for you for taking a walk! Yea!!!
If you can't even take a walk just go and stand in the sun. Also are you deficient in Vitamin D? I am and noticed I get seriously depressed if I don't take my Vitamin D.
It gives me the added energy I need.
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Olan
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Olan on Sept 24, 2015 15:56:21 GMT
I take a Vitamin D supplement once a week and am hoping it will improve my mood this winter.
Could you reward yourself for working out? I know shopping and mania sometimes go hand in hand but if you have no issues with overspending or hoarding maybe buying yourself something nice as a reward would be motivation enough.
I only watch my favorite show on the elliptical.
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Post by Linda on Sept 24, 2015 16:17:17 GMT
((((Hugs)))
It IS hard and I can completely relate - I've had a series of minor injuries that keep getting me off track on exercise and I find that the depression/apathy and (lack of ) exercise are a vicious cycle...exercise helps depression which makes it easier to exercise but depression makes me not want to exercise which makes the depression worse.
Accountability helps me - someone who is going to ask - did you exercise? Why not? Let's go. And not take lame excuses either.
I have a love-hate relationship with my fitbit - when I'm doing well, I love it. When I'm not - it's just another reminder of how sucky things are going.
Sometimes just going outside in the sunshine will help - fresh air and sunshine even if you don't actually exercise can help with mood/health a bit and sometimes if I've gone to the trouble of putting on my shoes (and yes, that's the hardest step for me) and gone outside, taking the next step of going for a walk isn't as hard...or I'll tell myself I just have to walk to the mailbox (here it's about a tenth mile away) - even if all I do is that and back, it's something. And sometimes I keep going...
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 24, 2015 18:27:48 GMT
Does it help if you remind yourself that your bi-polar brain is out to sabotage your good mental and physical health? The fatigue and lack of drive are a symptom of your disease, but you are bigger than your disease. The mania wears off and then the depression hits so hard. You were in a manic phase for a while. So, your depression is like a brick hitting the ground, "KATHUD". Exercise is great for mental health. When you feel like you don't want to leave the house keep telling yourself that it's just your disease talking and going outside will help you feel better. Having bi-polar depression is much more complex than regular depression and knowing that is your first step to treating yourself w/loving kindness.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
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Post by georgiapea on Sept 24, 2015 19:01:46 GMT
I never exercise. I play no sports. I've had physical therepy and it was an ordeal to attend. I have joined 2 gyms and not spent a full hour there during the memberships. I do live in a multiple story house and feel every trip up or down the various stairways is beneficial.
Not beating myself up for any of my failures is part of my goal of living a life filled with happiness.
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Post by birukitty on Sept 24, 2015 19:47:49 GMT
Yes, any exercise is good! Depression sucks. Getting on a low dose anti-depressant is a good time to think about. It won't make it to where you love excercising, but it will make it a bit easier to get up and work out. I speak from experience - getting treatment for depression - from a qualified doctor - is the best thing you will ever do for yourself. I am on 2 antidepressants and 1 antipsychotic. I need to be on higher doses, but I can't handle the side effects. I've mentioned before on your exercise posts - your body needs rest days.
So, if you don't feel like working out a few days during the week, fabulous. Listen to your body's cues. If you absolutely feel the need, go for a walk but understand that doing nothing is good too. Rest days are good but I was on day 4 of a rest day! Also, walking gets rid of the leg pain (usually). I don't even use my Fitbit anymore as it makes me too competitive with myself. Elannah, I am NOT a doctor, but I myself went through 10 years of "treatment resistant depression". That was the official diagnosis. I'm in remission now, and have been for two years. What I'm wondering for you since you are bipolar is why aren't you on a bipolar medication? I know there are many out there. I feel you need a bipolar medication to keep you from cycling back and forth, and keep you steady. Wouldn't that work better? I've heard that the mania feels so good and is so productive that many bipolar patients are very hesitant to get rid of it, and I can understand that. But I've also read that the depression part is worse than any of the depression that most depression patients feel, so my goodness Elannah my heart goes out to you. Wouldn't it be worth trying a bipolar medication to see if it could work for you since you are unable to take higher doses with the combination you are currently taking anyway? Anything that could make that depression get better would be worth it right? Please don't be so hard on yourself about not wanting to exercise during your depressive state. It is NOT like just not wanting to exercise. In a depressive state it is completely different. I remember it so clearly. I used to tell my doctor it was like my blood had turned into molasses. Just taking a shower and standing up for that took too much energy. Yes, exercise is good for depression. Exercise is good for our bodies period. But depression f's up our minds and bodies so completely and unless you've experienced it you have no idea what it's like. And if you haven't count your lucky stars. Elannah, don't be so hard on yourself. Your body is doing enough of a job of that for you. I wish for you good health! Oh, and have your B12 levels checked if you haven't recently. It turned out I had a genetic defect called MTHFR which meant I couldn't get B12 from my food or regular vitamins. Lack of B12 causes depression and lots of other things. Good luck! Debbie in MD. |
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