Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,834 
Location: NW PA
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Post by Judy26 on Sept 24, 2015 23:18:59 GMT
I am very healthy (and lucky) so my dealings with physicians is limited to once a year check ups and pediatrician visits for my kids (back in the day).
i was recently diagnosed with a venous aneurysm which needs to be removed. I was refered to one surgeon and couldn't get past his receptionist to make an appt. because she said I had to try a six weeks course of compression stockings and elevation of my leg every three hours for a half hour before she would schedule me for a consultation. I understand having policies such as this but she was extremely condescending and I felt like I was wasting her time. I told her I had tried the stockings but they caused my feet to go numb and as a teacher I was not in a position to take a half hour to put my feet up. I ended up politely ending the call without an appointment.
I asked for a second referral and called for an appointment. They scheduled me for the very next day. During the appointment I spoke briefly to a PA and then the surgeon came in. He never even made eye contact. He spoke to my aneurysm! "There you are! You're a big one. (As he was doing a sonogram) Yep. We can just go in and cut you out." He looked at the PA and said "Schedule her." And walked out the door.
This man is a well respected surgeon as was the first physician but as someone who doesn't go to the doctors much I was very put off by their lack of "bedside manner" for lack of a better word. I am still having the surgery and I'm sure he will do a magnificent job, but I really wish Dr. Welby , MD was still around!
is this the norm for busy physicians?
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Post by jojam on Sept 24, 2015 23:23:40 GMT
I've found this to be true about some surgeons. They like surgery, not patients. My mom had her cataracts removed by a surgeon I call, "Mr. Personality." Both times, he walked into the room she was waiting in before surgery, marked my mom's eye with a black marker, and left. That was the only contact we had with him.
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Post by nurseypants on Sept 24, 2015 23:30:46 GMT
This wouldn't even be a blip on my radar. I don't care if the surgeon is nice, I care if s/he knows how to cut me without killing me. Bedside manner does not matter.
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,968
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Post by AnotherPea on Sept 24, 2015 23:33:42 GMT
I'd say that is a typical complaint for surgeons. I know two surgeons and they both said that part of the draw to surgery was having patients that were asleep most of the time  When dd had surgery as a baby, her pediatrician recommended a surgeon. But warned me that the doctor had a horrible bedside manner. She was right! But she was highly regarded as a surgeon and that's all I cared about. I already knew what was wrong, I didn't need any explanation. I just needed someone's skill to handle the problem. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 5:43:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 23:37:04 GMT
I disagree -- bedside manner matters very much. The hospital system I work in is a huge believer in this, and during new employee orientation show studies and first person accounts of the difference it makes.
OP, I'm sorry your doctor treated you like a medical diagnosis, instead of a human. You're not wrong to expect to be treated like a person.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 5:43:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 23:40:12 GMT
I agree bedside manner matters a lot, but surgeons are often terrible at it. It's a generalization, but there's a reason that many of them choose specialties where their patients are unconscious most of the time.
That said, some do have great bedside manner and others realize their shortcomings and having staff who compensate for their person-to-person weaknesses.
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Post by nurseypants on Sept 24, 2015 23:40:09 GMT
I don't disagree with you, Ashley, but I have known many surgeons, and for many of them, bedside manner is not a strong suit. That did not affect their surgical skills, however, and I would not waste time searching for a surgeon who gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,605
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Sept 24, 2015 23:41:50 GMT
Eh, if he has a great reputation and can take care of me physically, I don't need my hand held. Truly. Get me well. I don't need to be schmoozed.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 5:43:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 23:41:22 GMT
I don't worry about my surgeon's bedside manner. I want my surgeon to be highly skilled at surgery. Now, the rest of the staff... nurses, receptionists and the finance office I DO expect good customer service personalities.
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Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,834
Location: NW PA
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Post by Judy26 on Sept 24, 2015 23:50:50 GMT
I'm not looking for warm fuzzies or hand holding but I would have liked an explanation of what the surgery will entail, what my recovery time will be and maybe a few minutes for questions. Since I have never had any kind of surgery and have never been hospitalized except to have my kids I didn't have any background experience to base my experience on. As it was I was in and out of the appointment in less than five minutes and was never given an opportunity to ask anything.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,501
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Post by ellen on Sept 24, 2015 23:52:33 GMT
The surgeon I had to deal with when I had melanoma was so ill at ease dealing with people. He was a good surgeon.
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Post by nurseypants on Sept 24, 2015 23:53:30 GMT
I'm not looking for warm fuzzies or hand holding but I would have liked an explanation of what the surgery will entail, what my recovery time will be and maybe a few minutes for questions. Since I have never had any kind of surgery and have never been hospitalized except to have my kids I didn't have any background experience to base my experience on. As it was I was in and out of the appointment in less than five minutes and was never given an opportunity to ask anything. I agree that this is a major concern. You might consider calling and speaking with the PA about these issues, or if there is a clinical nurse specialist in the office you could speak to him or her. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 5:43:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 23:54:19 GMT
I don't care how talented someone is, we can all learn and use basic manners. Say hello, make eye contact.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 5:43:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2015 23:55:32 GMT
Not excusing his behavior, but next time, be sure you speak up to the PA and say you have questions.
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Post by pierkiss on Sept 24, 2015 23:56:11 GMT
In my very limited experience with straight up surgeons, bedside manner skills seem to be lacking. In my opinion, I think some think they are there to cut, and someone else can deal with all the other stuff that goes along with dealing with the whole patient.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,175
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Sept 25, 2015 0:18:14 GMT
I'm not looking for warm fuzzies or hand holding but I would have liked an explanation of what the surgery will entail, what my recovery time will be and maybe a few minutes for questions. Since I have never had any kind of surgery and have never been hospitalized except to have my kids I didn't have any background experience to base my experience on. As it was I was in and out of the appointment in less than five minutes and was never given an opportunity to ask anything. I agree that this is a major concern. You might consider calling and speaking with the PA about these issues, or if there is a clinical nurse specialist in the office you could speak to him or her. I agree with this. You can always call and say you'd like to know if there's anything specific you should be aware of before the surgery, including what to expect and plan for regarding recovery afterward. |
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eleezybeth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,784
Jun 28, 2014 20:42:01 GMT
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Post by eleezybeth on Sept 25, 2015 0:23:31 GMT
That makes me crazy. I work inside a hospital and "Patient centered communication" is a big push. It honestly isn't that hard.
I recently went to a Gyn because it is assumed I'm going to need surgery. I walked in and she said immediately, "Why are you here? You do not have a Gyn issue." Okay.... The radiologist and GI doc disagree but hey, what do I know. She does a history and says, "Okay, let me feel it." Then, immediately, "Oh, that's where it is. I can schedule you for next Thursday." Wait?! What? 134 seconds ago you insinuated I was wasting your time and now you think YOU are going to cut me open? Pardon?
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Post by rune2484 on Sept 25, 2015 0:24:08 GMT
This wouldn't even be a blip on my radar. I don't care if the surgeon is nice, I care if s/he knows how to cut me without killing me. Bedside manner does not matter.(emphasis mine) Respectfully, I strongly disagree. Bad bedside manners - and as an extension bad communication - can lead to extremely traumatic experiences. I had an OB with zero bedside manners bully me into an unnecessary induction with my first kid. An hour in she and a nurse I'd never met before charged into my room without a word, held me down while I was kicking and screaming to stop, and broke my water (something I had specifically indicated on my chart that I would not consent to). The experience was akin to being violently raped, and I still struggle with it ten years later. Turns out she really was an excellent surgeon, but a fucking douchebag of a human being. Needless to say, if a surgeon isn't willing to engage me in a conversation about how my care will be handled there is no way in hell I am letting them within ten yards of me with a scalpel. Fuck that. |
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Sept 25, 2015 0:47:21 GMT
I agree bedside manner matters a lot, but surgeons are often terrible at it. It's a generalization, but there's a reason that many of them choose specialties where their patients are unconscious most of the time. That said, some do have great bedside manner and others realize their shortcomings and having staff who compensate for their person-to-person weaknesses. I agree with this totally. Having been to some of the big places like the Mayo Clinic and the Cleveland Clinic multiple times I am almost always treated as an amazing 'bowel'. I have a very unusual case and no one has ever seen anything like it so the doctors routinely talk to each other over me about my bowel. I feel like a slab of meat. I've had top notch care at all those places but the fact that my bowel is connected to a living, breathing person is an afterthought at best. ETA: I don't go to places like that looking for hand holding. I go for the best qualified medical opinions for my condition and that's what I get. My family and friends hold my hand |
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Post by cindyupnorth on Sept 25, 2015 0:49:54 GMT
I work with A LOT of Dr's and trust me, surgeons are the lowest in the bedside manner dept. It has nothing to do with their skills though. NOTHING. The best of surgeons can be crappy at it, and visca versa. I think you should have talked to his PA when he left. The PAs now are basically handling all the pre-op and post-op instruction and follow up. In fact you might.MIGHT see him the day of surgery, and then never again. Follow up will be with the PA.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 7, 2024 5:43:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 25, 2015 1:16:13 GMT
If you go with Dr. NoBedSideManner you are going to be dealing with a doctor who gets irritated at you for asking questions. Or irritated when you call him concerning a problem after surgery.
I had a doctor yell at me for being in his office. He said there was nothing wrong with me. My DH and I were dumbfounded. DH even pointed out to him my problems. Nope, I had no business being there according to Dr. ShitHead. One year later and a better doctor, I am living with less pain AND I'm almost two inches taller.
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Post by mom on Sept 25, 2015 2:04:38 GMT
I've found this to be true about some surgeons. They like surgery, not patients. My mom had her cataracts removed by a surgeon I call, "Mr. Personality." Both times, he walked into the room she was waiting in before surgery, marked my mom's eye with a black marker, and left. That was the only contact we had with him. This has been my experience as well. |
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Post by Zee on Sept 25, 2015 2:08:41 GMT
As a nurse, I can tell you that surgeons in general have TERRIBLE bedside manners. Not all, but most. At least he was pleasant even if he talked to your leg and not you! I'd be more interested in his overall reviews and reputation than his manner, as you won't have to see him much. I've worked with some of the biggest assholes on the planet and most of them were surgeons. The one who did my gallbladder was great, skilled AND personable, but IME that's not easy to find. I'd not worry about it, to be honest, because your experiences with him will hopefully be very brief. |
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Post by scrapmaven on Sept 25, 2015 2:10:15 GMT
My surgeon is compassionate and really great w/my entire family. However, we have a long term relationship w/many procedures and more to come. Her partners are not mean, but really just not about patient interaction. Neither of them have personalities. That's OK. As long as my surgeon can do a great job w/o unnecessary complications then I'm good w/it. So, your surgeon speaks to arteries and veins. Let him be a bit eccentric as long as he's tops in field. You'll be sound asleep during the majority of your interaction anyway. I'm sorry that you have to have surgery. Wishing you an easy fix and great health.
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Post by Zee on Sept 25, 2015 2:12:03 GMT
I'm not looking for warm fuzzies or hand holding but I would have liked an explanation of what the surgery will entail, what my recovery time will be and maybe a few minutes for questions. Since I have never had any kind of surgery and have never been hospitalized except to have my kids I didn't have any background experience to base my experience on. As it was I was in and out of the appointment in less than five minutes and was never given an opportunity to ask anything. I missed this in my first response, sorry. That's what the PA is for--surgeons have them so they don't have to waste time trying to develop basic human skills that most of them lack, LOL. The PA should be willing to sit and discuss all your concerns. If he/she won't, THEN I'd look for another office, but I wouldn't just because the surgeon talked to my aneurysm. |
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Sept 25, 2015 2:12:53 GMT
I have found that to be true for some surgeons / specialists. Some of them talk to the body part instead of to the 'person' but every once in a while there will be one who actually has a good bedside manner. Perhaps it depends on the specialty?
I had jaw surgery about 11 years ago, and as I recall, that surgeon was pretty much an ass (but he was good at what he did, which was surgery). When I had ovarian cancer a few years ago, the gynecological oncologist who treated me was such a nice guy-- listening to every question, answering the same ones over, clarifying every thing I didn't understand...
I think 'good bedside manner' is not always something they learn in 'specialty' school.
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