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Post by mlynn on Sept 28, 2015 0:21:09 GMT
The post about the hardest part of having pets has had me thinking. When is it time for humans to let go? How do you decide whether it is time to quit fighting and let go? Do financial matters belong in the mix? For instance if a person is about to outlive their life insurance, which could keep the household going v being in dire straits? How do you know when it is time to succumb to your maladies?
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Post by Zee on Sept 28, 2015 0:26:24 GMT
People are so different there can never be one true answer to this. Sometimes families make them feel like they have to fight, fight, fight, when they're just tired and ready to let go.
Others want to hang on tooth and claw. Some want to go quietly without any special interventions.
Also, you never really know unless you've been there, which I personally haven't. I'm only 43 and a sudden diagnosis of a potentially terminal disease might make me think very differently about it than I would at 23, or 83. Quality of life definition is also vastly different between individuals. Always a tough question.
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Post by mom on Sept 28, 2015 0:31:29 GMT
My mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness in Sept - she chose not to fight it because it would have only 'bought' time. Her life would not ever be the same. She was 66. She lived for 5 months.
Do I miss my mom? Absolutely. Am I mad that she didn't try to get a transplant? No. Am I mad that she 'gave' up? No. She was miserable with her illness. It wasn't going to change. My mom was gone, truthfully, before she was ever diagnosed.
I think she made the right decision for her and my dad. Financials, I don't think, should play into it. It should be based on emotional and physical conditions.
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Post by Linda on Sept 28, 2015 1:04:54 GMT
I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this - it's going to be different for different people - and possibly for different life 'seasons'....I think I would probably want to fight harder at a younger age with children still at home than I might at the end of a long life where death might seem a welcoming friend. But I can also see wanting a shorter but better quality of life time to spend creating memories vs. a longer drawn out battle where the memories would be of illness and hospitals and pain.
Now that said - I think there is a difference between letting nature (illness) run its course by chosing not to undergo certain treatments and hastening death via assisted suicide/euthenasia. I support people's right to the former but I have serious ethical concerns about the latter.
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Post by nyxish on Sept 28, 2015 1:41:04 GMT
i think the difference is for people it is a personal choice of life quality that we can either communicate or have control over - while i trust my pets are pretty self aware of themselves, i don't know if my old man cat has a concept of quality of life now vs 2 year ago. In terms of euthanasia, pets can't really communicate their wishes in their own words - we just have to hope we know them, understand them and aren't seeming thru our own personal lens.
For people... i.. think that is a very personal choice and a very hard one. But mostly personal.
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Post by mirabelleswalker on Sept 28, 2015 2:07:19 GMT
I have been very, very clear about the quality of life that I want to have and the circumstances in which I would not want to live any longer. I live in California and am waiting with patience for the governor to sign the End of Life Option, which was passed by our legislature. I work with people who are dying, so I often come home and say to my husband, "This patient can no longer X. If I can no longer X, I don't want to live." It is an ongoing conversation that we have. (It sort of drives him crazy.) Anyway, please look at The Conversation Project web site. It can really help to clarify your wishes and will be a blessing to your loved ones if you are in a situation in which you are unable to communicate with them. |
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Post by thelmalou on Sept 28, 2015 13:02:01 GMT
My mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness in Sept - she chose not to fight it because it would have only 'bought' time. Her life would not ever be the same. She was 66. She lived for 5 months. Do I miss my mom? Absolutely. Am I mad that she didn't try to get a transplant? No. Am I mad that she 'gave' up? No. She was miserable with her illness. It wasn't going to change. My mom was gone, truthfully, before she was ever diagnosed. I think she made the right decision for her and my dad. Financials, I don't think, should play into it. It should be based on emotional and physical conditions. I am so sorry for your loss. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 17:58:42 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 28, 2015 14:28:17 GMT
For me personally quality of life will always trump quantity of life. I see my parents both struggling with old age and various conditions, my Dad has dementia and my Mum has been through cancer and two mini strokes in the last year. Neither of them has much quality of life and it frightens and frustrates me in equal measure.
If I was diagnosed with a serious illness that 'might' respond to treatment that 'might' be curable then I'd say 'no thanks'.
Everyone will have different opinions on it of course.
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Post by epeanymous on Sept 28, 2015 14:41:33 GMT
I think the individual has to make the decision and friends and family need to be supportive of that decision. Even if you think you know what you would decide (and everyone should have directives in case they are incapacitated), sometimes you don't know until you are in the position. I've seen people pressured to fight, yes, but just as often have seen elderly people in particular pressured to let go before they are ready.
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