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Post by mmmom on Oct 4, 2015 16:10:00 GMT
A casual friend of mine, (our kids went to grade school together) was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I bought a gift certificate for a takeout dinner place weeks ago but have put off delivering it because I can't find the write words to say in a card to her. There are always threads pointing out dumb things people say to those suffering some unfortunate situation so I keep doubting myself on what to write.
This came out of nowhere, no family history and she needs double mastectomy but I think prognosis is overall positive. I want to be respectful but don't want to overstep as we are far from best friends. Basically I feel bad that this happened to her, how much it sucks but I know she is strong and will be a fighter. I'm not sure if this makes sense but would appreciate what was helpful for you. Andi do realize everyone is different so there may not be just one right response but I'm lost right now. TIA
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Post by mlynn on Oct 4, 2015 16:20:37 GMT
You could simply say...
Just a little something for when you need a break.
It shows you care without getting into the what not to say stuff. It communicates that you care and are thinking of her.
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Post by KelleeM on Oct 4, 2015 16:22:13 GMT
How about "I'm thinking of you (or praying for you, if appropriate)."
I finished treatment 18 months ago...honestly, just to know someone was thinking of me was enough. Don't overthink this. And you're very sweet to want to do something nice for her.
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Post by crittsmom on Oct 4, 2015 16:26:41 GMT
I try to write what I would say to them in person. Such as I know you are going through a tough time right now, have a meal on me.
Thoughts and prayers to you etc. Sometimes you just can't even think of what to say, then I might go with thinking of you, hope this brightens your day. How very kind of you to do this.
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valleyview
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,816
Jun 27, 2014 18:41:26 GMT
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Post by valleyview on Oct 4, 2015 16:28:07 GMT
I agree with KelleeM. "Thinking of you" along with a gift card is really pretty great. It seems like many people are paralyzed with fear of saying the wrong thing, so they say nothing. |
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Post by emelle64 on Oct 4, 2015 16:29:14 GMT
I just finished chemo last June and I was touched when anyone did anything for me and my family. I think a gift card and a note saying I was thinking of you would be absolutely fabulous. And, frankly, I think people are often so afraid of doing the wrong thing that they do nothing. Do something and it will so appreciated.
Emelle
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Post by lucyg on Oct 4, 2015 16:39:24 GMT
Also a breast cancer survivor and I agree with everyone above. Don't treat her like a freak  and she'll be happy to hear from you and grateful you were thinking of her. Everything you said in your OP sounds very nice and appropriate. |
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Post by Delta Dawn on Oct 4, 2015 17:17:19 GMT
If it were a bestie this is what I would do. In the card I would just say "Because I love you." and that's all I would say. There is no mention of get better soon, you are a fighter, etc. My besties know how I feel about them and we always tell one another we love each other. We do this all the time either in person or in an email. We just tell each other how we feel about each other...and we are all very good friends.
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Nicole in TX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,951 
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Post by Nicole in TX on Oct 4, 2015 17:20:26 GMT
How about "I'm thinking of you (or praying for you, if appropriate)." I finished treatment 18 months ago...honestly, just to know someone was thinking of me was enough. Don't overthink this. And you're very sweet to want to do something nice for her. Exactly that. And then follow through- check on her every week or two. Don't be afraid to say the word cancer. |
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Post by shevy on Oct 4, 2015 19:36:15 GMT
Because I care.
Because I love you.
Just a little something to give everyone a night off.
Honestly, while I was at home recovering, I loved visitors. I loved just a card. I loved a call. Anything to show that the other person cared.
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and she'll be happy to hear from you and grateful you were thinking of her.
Time to get off the internet!