Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,834
Location: NW PA
Jun 25, 2014 23:50:38 GMT
|
Post by Judy26 on Oct 11, 2015 14:33:46 GMT
I love reading everyone's opinions on this site. I am always amazed at the intelligent, thoughtful arguments brought to the table on all kinds of issues. Most posters are very clear on where they stand on things like gun control, elections, politics, etc.
i have found that the older I get, the less determined I am to take a stand on any issue. My life has become very "gray". I can see good and bad points to most issues and it is difficult for me to agree with any one side. I guess if I had to describe my beliefs it would be that I believe in open dialogue and compromise but that doesn't seem to be a choice these days. It's all either/or.
Is is there any room at the decision making table for someone who says "I don't have all of the answers, but I am willing to listen to all ideas and help broker a compromise?" Why are politics so black and white?
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 3:31:32 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2015 14:38:48 GMT
I'm that way. I'm not a Democrat or Republican. I think you should own guns, but something needs to be done. I'm for the death penalty, but not always.
That's why I'm done with the gun threads and might stick around for a couple of pages on the political and other controversial threads. The polarizing people on the right and left dominate and take over. It's not worth getting angry over a discussion on a message board. It's not worth trying to have a civil discussion; big waste of time.
|
|
AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,968
Jan 4, 2015 1:47:52 GMT
|
Post by AnotherPea on Oct 11, 2015 14:47:52 GMT
I'm very gray. I think extremely polar arguments are often filled with fallacies and understanding another person's POV, even if you disagree with it, is beneficial. Sometimes I come away with a new, or altered POV, and sometimes my opinion is strengthened.
Being gray isn't good socially though. Most people prefer like-minded friends. Makes it easier for group-think, I guess. Some people view open-mindedness (which is NOT a synonym for liberal-thinking) as being weak or wishy-washy. I can often see many sides to an argument and if I don't take a friend's side 100%, then my loyalty comes into question.
|
|
|
Post by hop2 on Oct 11, 2015 14:49:56 GMT
Me
Well not really gray but multi colored. lol I can certainly see more sides of each situation than when I was younger and eveything seemed so cut and dry, this OR that.
Now I'm more a little of this and some of that and I can understand where the 'other' side is coming from. I get things even when I don't agree with them. It takes life experiences to get to this point. Some people are so sheltered that they won't.
I can rarely say 'I'll never' Or I'll always. For example the Hillary thread last month some people said they could never vote for Hillary. BUT with options like Trump and Kanye I CANT say never because she's better than those choices to me for sure.
Another thing when I was younger I was all 'wait for * the one* and be 'good' and all that. but now in my wisdom im not so sure there is a * the one* or that anyone could be * the one* if they were so inclined to listen to you and treat you with respect. I'm pretty sure now actually that attractive qualities to me are how you treat me on a regular basis. I'm sort of Over 'looks' as attractive qualities if you know what I mean. And also the waiting thing is Over rated, or maybe the word is over pressured especially to females. Because it's a valid choice but often people are pressure into it as opposed to choosing. Educate, give knowledge and choose carefully. BUT definitely choose for yourself as opposed to doing what people want you to do. It ought to be a free choice without Shame no matter how you choose.
Ok off the soapbox but yes I can rarely see things so one sided any more.
|
|
|
Post by anxiousmom on Oct 11, 2015 15:05:58 GMT
It's funny really, the older I get and the more life experience I gather I find that in some areas I am very sure about how I feel and in others I realize how little I know and how much I need to listen.
For me, I guess, it is less about grey and more about being sure of who I am and less about trying to prove myself to others. I am less likely to be uncomfortable in admitting that I don't know something, and more apt to see that my way isn't really the only way. It doesn't hurt my self image to be wrong, or to not know something. For me, that also means that I can sit firmly in the middle of the road and be willing to consider another view point that doesn't always reflect my world view.
I also finally have gotten to the point where I realize that my world view is less wordly than I thought when I was younger- which means that I think I am more likely to try to research why others feel the way they do. Turns out, my experience is fairly limited, which means that I was exposed to less than others might have been. I probably can learn from them.
So less grey, more...flexible maybe.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 3:31:32 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2015 15:08:17 GMT
It's funny really, the older I get and the more life experience I gather I find that in some areas I am very sure about how I feel and in others I realize how little I know and how much I need to listen. For me, I guess, it is less about grey and more about being sure of who I am and less about trying to prove myself to others. I am less likely to be uncomfortable in admitting that I don't know something, and more apt to see that my way isn't really the only way. It doesn't hurt my self image to be wrong, or to not know something. For me, that also means that I can sit firmly in the middle of the road and be willing to consider another view point that doesn't always reflect my world view. I also finally have gotten to the point where I realize that my world view is less wordly than I thought when I was younger- which means that I think I am more likely to try to research why others feel the way they do. Turns out, my experience is fairly limited, which means that I was exposed to less than others might have been. I probably can learn from them. So less grey, more...flexible maybe. You said this so perfectly! Couldn't agree more.
|
|
|
Post by Pahina722 on Oct 11, 2015 15:08:40 GMT
I think I'm more like hop2 in that I tend to see all sides of the situation. Now I almost always lean one way or the other, but I can see the other side and get where it's supporters are coming from. Part of this comes from teaching composition, which I do by having students respond to articles. For each topic, they get multiple articles exploring various sides of the issue and have to summarize each viewpoint and then support or refute each one. It exposes them to more viewpoints; getting them to CONSIDER alternate viewpoints forces me to bend on some cherished beliefs.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 3:31:32 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2015 15:10:39 GMT
I'm very gray. I think extremely polar arguments are often filled with fallacies and understanding another person's POV, even if you disagree with it, is beneficial. Sometimes I come away with a new, or altered POV, and sometimes my opinion is strengthened. Being gray isn't good socially though. Most people prefer like-minded friends. Makes it easier for group-think, I guess. Some people view open-mindedness (which is NOT a synonym for liberal-thinking) as being weak or wishy-washy. I can often see many sides to an argument and if I don't take a friend's side 100%, then my loyalty comes into question. This has been my stance. I often can see both sides of the argument. I am not strictly one party or another. Sometimes the Republican candidate is a better choice. Sometimes the Democrat is. This bothers some people I know. Oftentimes a blanket policy is not the best one. I believe there is no good answer to all of the hot button topics.
|
|
|
Post by moveablefeast on Oct 11, 2015 15:12:08 GMT
I'll admit I'm much the opposite. Life has really solidified my opinions on many subjects. I accept and am comfortable with the fact that people disagree with me and I am interested in the argument, but there are certain subjects where my opinion has just really become crystal clear.
|
|
NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
|
Post by NoWomanNoCry on Oct 11, 2015 15:28:50 GMT
I'm the same way. I can see things I agree with on both sides of things (not just politics). When it comes to religion I refuse to be lumped into a specific one but I also feel like "is Jesus real or is this all a bunch of nonsense" then I have people telling me it's either/or I can't fall down the middle. Honestly it's all confusing and I'm sure I'm making no sense lol but I just don't see *most* things as black and white. I have lots of opinions about things but I'm always open to seeing others point of view and sometimes others don't think that's right..they feel I should pick a team.
|
|
|
Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Oct 11, 2015 16:47:03 GMT
I'm black and white and gray. I'm all over the place, I suppose. It just depends on the issue. Some things I'll never compromise my ideals on while with others I'm very open to new ideas and changing my mind.
But I will say that the louder and more stridently someone yells, the less likely I am to "hear" anything they have to say.
|
|
back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
|
Post by back to *pea*ality on Oct 11, 2015 16:50:41 GMT
What I have done outside of the home is largely analytical and often based in problem solving. I think I look at politics and current events in the same manner. Of course all of that is through a lens based on my life experiences. I think for me the gray area comes in when emotion is involved.
Also, not every issue is as complex as politicians would have us believe. Going on in the the background behind closed doors, deals are bring cut to take care of someone's interest often at the expense of middle class Americans who are the backbone of our society - and we are Republicans, Democrats and Independents - getting screwed in equal fashion.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 3:31:32 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2015 16:59:34 GMT
I'll admit I'm much the opposite. Life has really solidified my opinions on many subjects. I accept and am comfortable with the fact that people disagree with me and I am interested in the argument, but there are certain subjects where my opinion has just really become crystal clear. I'm probably more in line with this. I've always been a black and white thinker, not because I'm close minded, but because I know what is right/wrong for me. As I've gotten older, I'm less worried about "convincing" other people. It's more like "Whatever. I have my opinion, you have yours. Have a nice day." The biggest thing, however, that I've learned over the years is not to carry someone else's flag. People will always seek out someone more outgoing and assertive to carry the flag for their cause and I've found myself in that position for things that I'm only mildly interested in. And it has caused a lot of issues that I then felt like I had to buck up and stand behind when I wasn't really feeling it that strongly. I've learned that I carry my own flag and that's it. If you feel that strongly about your cause, YOU fight for it. I guess you could sort of call those grey issues. I still have an opinion, but not one that is strong enough to do much about.
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Oct 11, 2015 17:09:49 GMT
As I've gotten older, there are some things that I'm more willing to flex on now than I maybe would have when I was younger, and other things that while I'm pretty firmly in one camp I'm willing to hear out the views of someone in the other camp without getting the flamethrowers out. I may or may not end up in agreement, but I'm willing to listen to another person's POV respectfully. I can often see the point of both sides of a discussion as long as people are being respectful and thoughtful about presenting their views.
There are plenty of things that work for me and my family that may or may not work for (general) you or your family. And really, as long as what you do actually WORKS for you, who am I to tell you your way is wrong? I may disagree with it *FOR ME* but hey, if it works for you, more power to you. I think there are a lot of times where one side or the other thinks their way is the only way, when in fact there can be *many* right ways.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 3:31:32 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2015 17:22:31 GMT
I'm the same way. I can see things I agree with on both sides of things (not just politics). When it comes to religion I refuse to be lumped into a specific one but I also feel like "is Jesus real or is this all a bunch of nonsense" then I have people telling me it's either/or I can't fall down the middle. Honestly it's all confusing and I'm sure I'm making no sense lol but I just don't see *most* things as black and white. I have lots of opinions about things but I'm always open to seeing others point of view and sometimes others don't think that's right..they feel I should pick a team. Out in the world I find myself saying a lot of "I can see that" when hearing a viewpoint and then saying the same thing when hearing an opposing viewpoint. This is the only place where I've experienced the "you have to pick a team" idea. Here you sometimes end up being piled on and brow beaten for voicing why you understand one of the so-called "wrong views" by a domineering group of those who can't see both sides and demand that you are wrong even though you actually agree with them too. The bakery/wedding cake threads come to mind. Sometimes it ends up coloring how you respond to other things.
|
|
|
Post by originalvanillabean on Oct 11, 2015 17:45:57 GMT
In general, I am very black and white. I enjoy hearing the "other" side because it helps me to understand why our opinions differ.
There are times that can be gray, but I don't care for it.
In fact, all through high school I wanted to be an attorney and my mind was set. Then I took business law. It was: this is how the law is interpreted....except in this situation far too often and I knew it would eat me up. I like structure and rules so black and white is comfortable for me.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Oct 11, 2015 17:58:22 GMT
I'd like to think I am gray on most things. Who in the world gave me the power to be right on all of the issues? I do think that the black and white people change the world though. Good or bad. I think we were all brought up so differently that of course we see things so uniquely. Our parents molded us and then we took it from there. Most of the time I enjoy hearing different opinions here and think the well spoken, calm person definitely gets their point across to me whether or not I agree with it.
|
|
|
Post by librarylady on Oct 11, 2015 18:10:47 GMT
Is is there any room at the decision making table for someone who says "I don't have all of the answers, but I am willing to listen to all ideas and help broker a compromise?" ==================================================
I think we used to call the ones willing to listen and compromise "Statesmen." In politics, those were the ones trying to do what was best for the nation, not just what is best for the particular political party. We have fewer and fewer of those in our legislative bodies.
|
|
|
Post by tracyarts on Oct 11, 2015 18:16:33 GMT
I always have felt that way. I can easily look at a situation from all angles. And while I might feel one way about a particular issue, I can take a completely different stance on a similar one and not feel conflicted or hypocritical at all.
|
|
|
Post by Linda on Oct 11, 2015 19:48:14 GMT
grey - that's a good way of looking at it. I consider myself to be a moderate free-thinker but grey works as well.
|
|
kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,517
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
|
Post by kate on Oct 11, 2015 19:49:16 GMT
I don't see myself as grey; I see myself more as a bunch of mosaic tiles of black and white.
Some people have done really bad things (black) but have shining and wonderful qualities (white) - these people are not "medium" (grey), but both very good AND very bad. I believe good and bad can exist side by side.
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Oct 11, 2015 20:27:43 GMT
I can be black and white and gray some times. I can also be black on pqrt of an issue, white on another part, and gray on per of it
Oddly or funnily or something, I often argue one way here and the opposite of facebook.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 3:31:32 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2015 20:45:08 GMT
I can be black and white and gray some times. I can also be black on pqrt of an issue, white on another part, and gray on per of it Oddly or funnily or something, I often argue one way here and the opposite of facebook.That's interesting. Why do you think that is?
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Oct 11, 2015 21:35:46 GMT
I can be black and white and gray some times. I can also be black on pqrt of an issue, white on another part, and gray on per of it Oddly or funnily or something, I often argue one way here and the opposite of facebook.That's interesting. Why do you think that is? sometimes because I hear the other side of the argument here and take it there. Other times because the person posting on fb is extreme one way or the other. Sometimes I argue one side with an extreme democrat and the other side with an extreme republican because I don't think either is correct.
|
|
PLurker
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,744
Location: Behind the Cheddar Curtain
Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
|
Post by PLurker on Oct 11, 2015 22:15:44 GMT
I am probably more black and white on certain things that I know I will never see another way because it is a so certain in my mind right/wrong thing. But I am less likely to need to argue my point as I age. Either you get it or don't.
But I am more "gray" on things that I know people have had different life experiences with and therefore differ on their point of view. Something that seems so "one way" to one person may just need to see through another's eyes and see that it isn't so black and white after all. I think this just comes from age and experience/maturity. I can see that through my kids as they mature. While in the past they were so "that is so wrong and should never be done" about something now they can see the same thing and see how it might be more appropriate if you look at it from another direction or through someone else's eyes. They become more forgiving as they mature. Maybe that is "gray". Just knowing not everything is so black and white as you once believed.
|
|
|
Post by AussieMeg on Oct 11, 2015 23:13:35 GMT
One of the things that I love most about this board is the differing opinions on so many issues. The amount of times I will read a thread and find myself nodding my head in agreement of Opinion A, then the next Pea will put forward the opposite side and I think "Hang on, I agree with Opinion B too!"
There are some things that I am completely black and white on however.
|
|
|
Post by seikashaven on Oct 11, 2015 23:17:43 GMT
I grew up in a very religious and black and white home. Things were either wrong or right. And I modelled that behaviour throughout my childhood.
As a young adult I started to reject that way of thinking and suddenly everything was grey. And I lost a little bit of my identity and became a bit wishy washy as a result of trying to be more open minded.
I'm only coming back from that now. I'm much more accepting of differences and have a willingness to listen that I didn't have before. But I've taken back some areas that I do think are right or wrong for ME. I've learned that I can apply my opinions to myself and not the whole world.
It's a much more peaceful place to be.
|
|
|
Post by mymindseyedpea on Oct 12, 2015 0:53:32 GMT
To me everything is so blended that it becomes grey. Politics are over my head though but being on one side of anything doesn't allow variety, and I need opportunities that allow variety. I'm way more with the spiritual life than the physical, but if I completely side with just the spiritual, my foundation disappears. Gotta stay grounded
|
|
|
Post by Merge on Oct 12, 2015 0:55:56 GMT
Many areas are gray areas for me. I have a few hot button, black-and-white issues, but mostly, I can see both sides and am happy to let everyone choose what works best for them.
|
|
|
Post by melanell on Oct 12, 2015 0:56:02 GMT
I am that way. I am not a black or white person at all and it's hard for me to really feel like I can understand people who are very black and white. I can usually see a point to both sides of an issue or I can at least understand why others may feel that way, even if I don't agree.
|
|