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Post by katieanna on Oct 13, 2015 15:38:02 GMT
I saw this on FB and it made me stop and think... How many peas agree with this?
Some people aren't loyal to you...
They are loyal to their need of you...
Once their needs change,
so does their loyalty.
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grammanisi
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by grammanisi on Oct 13, 2015 15:48:46 GMT
I agree. This fits my youngest sister.
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Deleted
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May 20, 2024 1:54:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2015 15:56:22 GMT
I think that's profoundly cynical. Living a life where you (general you) assume people are bad and only out to use you will not benefit you in any way and will probably just make you miserable. Not the way I want to live.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 1:54:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2015 15:58:02 GMT
I agree with the statement! I have a "friend" on and off and that is so true. When major drama happens, she's talking to me frequently asking me to do favors, lend her money, help her find a new place to live, and the list goes on. When something bad goes on in my life or I just want to talk...silence or she responds days later to a text. I also have friends where they are not that way.
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melissa
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,912
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Post by melissa on Oct 13, 2015 16:01:15 GMT
So true of some people. Not true of true friends.
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Post by bc2ca on Oct 13, 2015 16:11:55 GMT
So true of some people. Not true of true friends.  If I saw this on my FB feed, I would see it as a passive aggressive message from the poster to a friend who has disappointed them. |
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Peamac
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea # 418
Posts: 4,218
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Post by Peamac on Oct 13, 2015 16:13:00 GMT
I think it absolutely is true of SOME people, but certainly not ALL people.
I don't think it's cynical, just realistic to understand that not everyone who is your friend has the same level of commitment or loyalty as you do.
I also don't think one should go through life assuming that everyone is going to stab them in the back either.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Oct 13, 2015 16:15:21 GMT
I think we all do our best. Friendship change. It is almost never about you, and almost always about them. You can choose the story you tell about why things change. Positive or Negative your choice.
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Post by gar on Oct 13, 2015 16:17:22 GMT
As with most of these things - true for a few but not the majority.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 1:54:19 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2015 17:20:14 GMT
To me it depends on how you define loyalty. Loyalty isn't a quality I ascribe to someone until they have proven it by being there when I needed them but had nothing to offer in return.
I can have friendship without someone else having to sell out their time or identity to my satisfaction... so I guess I accept "disloyal" friends among my friends.
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~Susan~
Pearl Clutcher
You need to check your boobs, mine tried to kill me!!!
Posts: 3,258
Jul 6, 2014 17:25:32 GMT
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Post by ~Susan~ on Oct 13, 2015 17:31:33 GMT
This is so very true of a family member of mine. I have had to cut all ties to her. I am tired of her taking advantage of my love.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Oct 13, 2015 19:00:39 GMT
I had a few former friends and a couple of family members that could be described that way. They are no longer a part of my life. I think the key is recognizing it before you invest too much into the relationship. For me, friendship has to be about give AND take, not just take.
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back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
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Post by back to *pea*ality on Oct 13, 2015 20:47:53 GMT
I saw this on FB and it made me stop and think... How many peas agree with this? Some people aren't loyal to you...
They are loyal to their need of you...
Once their needs change,
so does their loyalty.While it may be cynical, the operative word "some" makes it realistic. I think everyone has felt the sting of finding out their friendship, marriage, professional relationship was based on providing something someone else needed sometimes with no realization it was even happening. It's a facet of human relationships. |
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Oct 13, 2015 22:24:05 GMT
I totally agree with this statement- sometimes, some people... I've seen my fair share.
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caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
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Post by caro on Oct 13, 2015 22:54:12 GMT
So true of some people. Not true of true friends. Agree! |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Oct 14, 2015 10:45:16 GMT
Some people aren't loyal to you... They are loyal to their need of you... Once their needs change, so does their loyalty. Sounds like my exhusband. I went through thick & thin with him, always stayed by his side, always true to him. The year he got a promotion and things finally started to get on track financially for us, he left because he could "do better now." |
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Post by megs78 on Oct 14, 2015 10:56:29 GMT
I've had friendships like this - and boy did the friend disappear quickly as soon as their need changed.
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Post by katieanna on Oct 14, 2015 12:59:27 GMT
Some people aren't loyal to you... They are loyal to their need of you... Once their needs change, so does their loyalty. Sounds like my exhusband. I went through thick & thin with him, always stayed by his side, always true to him. The year he got a promotion and things finally started to get on track financially for us, he left because he could "do better now."  You're much better off without him. But I can't imagine what the initial shock and the ensuing weeks, months, etc. must have been like. Honestly, I can't understand some people. |
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PLurker
Prolific Pea
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Jun 28, 2014 3:48:49 GMT
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Post by PLurker on Oct 14, 2015 15:12:54 GMT
I think that's profoundly cynical. Living a life where you (general you) assume people are bad and only out to use you will not benefit you in any way and will probably just make you miserable. Not the way I want to live. I would think the same thing, IF it didn't state SOME people (not all people). This way I am ok with it. I'm sure Some people are, hopefully (and I believe it to be) Not your closest and best-est. ETA Oops... didn't read through. Others said same. My need to respond came before my need to read.  |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Oct 15, 2015 9:33:49 GMT
Sounds like my exhusband. I went through thick & thin with him, always stayed by his side, always true to him. The year he got a promotion and things finally started to get on track financially for us, he left because he could "do better now." You're much better off without him. But I can't imagine what the initial shock and the ensuing weeks, months, etc. must have been like. Honestly, I can't understand some people. Thank you. It was a huge shock, because I never saw it coming. We grew up together, and came from nothing. I never knew that person was inside him. And a year & a half after he left me because he could "do better" his job took a downturn, and he wasn't doing very well any more. And then suddenly he found that without money he couldn't "do better" with the hot young honeys anymore. |
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M in Carolina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,128
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Post by M in Carolina on Oct 15, 2015 9:45:21 GMT
Dh and I experienced this when I got very sick and then he did. It really hurts because his brother was the one that treated dh the worse.
It is nice to know who your true friends and family are. I appreciate them so much more. Life is way too short to spend time with people that don't care about you.
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You're much better off without him. But I can't imagine what the initial shock and the ensuing weeks, months, etc. must have been like. Honestly, I can't understand some people.
Southern Side eyed Pea