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Post by maureen on Nov 2, 2015 12:19:09 GMT
Am I the perfect pea you are referring to? And if so, you call bullshit on whether I would try to get help for a woman in distress, whether she be at a bar or elsewhere? Well, you'll be sorry to know that, yes, I do make it a habit to get help for people who need it. No where did I say that I would be personally picking this woman up, dusting her off and making all right with the world. Just that I would try to get help for a woman who is in obvious distress. As in making sure that officials where she was were aware and going to provide help, or if somewhere else simply calling 911 and waiting nearby until help arrived. Let's pretend it was a pea's daughter, who was given the drugs/alcohol/whatever...or was simply mentally ill and acting out...Wouldn't we wish bystanders who were aware would either get help for the daughter or make sure than there was someone official who was? What if it was a daughter who had simply chosen a lifestyle of drugs and drinking, and the pea mom was scared to death for what might happen one day? Wouldn't we be saying, thank heavens someone saw her in trouble and called 911 to get her help? This place. Ugh, I swear. Is it asking too much to be able to say, why don't more women look out for other women in obvious distress and get them help, without hearing about accusing others of eating beating hearts of puppies? Yes, you are the perfect pea to which I was referring. You and your signs you want people to wear as if every situation were black and white. You and your judgemental attitude because this woman chose her safety rather than the safety of a stranger. You are the perfect pea, enjoy your crown.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Nov 2, 2015 12:41:52 GMT
No shit. The perfect peas are exhausting. And I call bullshit on them helping someone at a bar that is having a bad trip. Bull fucking shit. And if they want to label me as compassionless and that I wouldn't help others in need because I'm not putting myself at risk to help some idiot having a bad drug trip, then I'll take the heartless label that they want to bestow on me. Along with the gavel and judges robe, I hope there's enough oxygen for them on their super fucking high horse. Am I the perfect pea you are referring to? And if so, you call bullshit on whether I would try to get help for a woman in distress, whether she be at a bar or elsewhere? Well, you'll be sorry to know that, yes, I do make it a habit to get help for people who need it. No where did I say that I would be personally picking this woman up, dusting her off and making all right with the world. Just that I would try to get help for a woman who is in obvious distress. As in making sure that officials where she was were aware and going to provide help, or if somewhere else simply calling 911 and waiting nearby until help arrived. Let's pretend it was a pea's daughter, who was given the drugs/alcohol/whatever...or was simply mentally ill and acting out...Wouldn't we wish bystanders who were aware would either get help for the daughter or make sure than there was someone official who was? What if it was a daughter who had simply chosen a lifestyle of drugs and drinking, and the pea mom was scared to death for what might happen one day? Wouldn't we be saying, thank heavens someone saw her in trouble and called 911 to get her help? This place. Ugh, I swear. Is it asking too much to be able to say, why don't more women look out for other women in obvious distress and get them help, without hearing about accusing others of eating beating hearts of puppies? Yup. I'm calling bullshit on you. I highly doubt that you would go help a woman who is obviously tripping out, unless you're a martyr for punishment and have some kind of hero complex. It's obvious that it was already being taken care of, by the people who are PAID to do this kind of stuff... not random other patrons. You seem to think that no one was doing anything for the girl, I guarantee they were... because that's their job. And I was more responding to your sanctimonious hand wringing that no one was helping this girl and those who don't go out of their way and put themselves in danger are heartless, cold blooded monsters. Comparing it to a pea's daughter is just fearmongering to try and win points... thing is... EVERY woman is someone's daughter. That really doesn't change the equation, most of us are still not going to put ourselves at risk when someone is on a bad trip. And by calling 911, you're now tying up resources for other emergencies because the bar probably already called. So really, unless you have a hero complex, no I don't think you'd get involved. Especially with your high-handed judgmental views.
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grinningcat
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,663
Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Nov 2, 2015 12:46:17 GMT
Am I the perfect pea you are referring to? And if so, you call bullshit on whether I would try to get help for a woman in distress, whether she be at a bar or elsewhere? Well, you'll be sorry to know that, yes, I do make it a habit to get help for people who need it. No where did I say that I would be personally picking this woman up, dusting her off and making all right with the world. Just that I would try to get help for a woman who is in obvious distress. As in making sure that officials where she was were aware and going to provide help, or if somewhere else simply calling 911 and waiting nearby until help arrived. Let's pretend it was a pea's daughter, who was given the drugs/alcohol/whatever...or was simply mentally ill and acting out...Wouldn't we wish bystanders who were aware would either get help for the daughter or make sure than there was someone official who was? What if it was a daughter who had simply chosen a lifestyle of drugs and drinking, and the pea mom was scared to death for what might happen one day? Wouldn't we be saying, thank heavens someone saw her in trouble and called 911 to get her help? This place. Ugh, I swear. Is it asking too much to be able to say, why don't more women look out for other women in obvious distress and get them help, without hearing about accusing others of eating beating hearts of puppies? Yup. I'm calling bullshit on you. I highly doubt that you would go help a woman who is obviously tripping out, unless you're a martyr for punishment and have some kind of hero complex. It's obvious that it was already being taken care of, by the people who are PAID to do this kind of stuff... not random other patrons. You seem to think that no one was doing anything for the girl, I guarantee they were... because that's their job. And I was more responding to your sanctimonious hand wringing that no one was helping this girl and those who don't go out of their way and put themselves in danger are heartless, cold blooded monsters. Demanding that people wear labels so you know who not to waste your time on is just stupid and offensive... and says a lot about who you are and how judgmental. Comparing it to a pea's daughter is just fearmongering to try and win points... thing is... EVERY woman is someone's daughter. That really doesn't change the equation, most of us are still not going to put ourselves at risk when someone is on a bad trip. And by calling 911, you're now tying up resources for other emergencies because the bar probably already called. So really, unless you have a hero complex, no I don't think you'd get involved. Especially with your high-handed judgmental views.
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luckyexwife
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,070
Jun 25, 2014 21:21:08 GMT
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Post by luckyexwife on Nov 2, 2015 14:09:09 GMT
You don't have to personally try to do something for the person, but you CAN see if the bouncer or another employee has called for help or done something to make sure the person in distress gets help. I know a lot of people feel the way you indicated, Maureen. I guess I just wish people had some sort of sign on them, "I don't watch out for others, it's not my job". Obviously, that is a crazy concept, but it sure would make it easier for me to know who I would be wasting my time on. Getting help for someone who needs help is not that hard, but it does inconvenience someone for a bit. Some people consider that just part of being a responsible adult, and others don't. Both sides will probably never really understand each other. In this exact situation, what would you have done? The op stated people were talking to her (asking if she was ok), but she just continued screaming. Someone must have alerted the bouncer, as they carried her out. Again, I ask, what do you think needed to be done in this situation? I'll be honest, if I saw others were talking to her, I would not go near the situation. Not because I have no compassion, but because the situation was already being handled, and they probably didn't need a stranger interfering as well. I would alert a bouncer or manager of the bar if they weren't aware of the situation. But, from the op, it sounds like both of these steps were taken care of.
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Post by katieanna on Nov 2, 2015 14:12:01 GMT
You may not be understanding what (I think) the peas are trying to say. It's one thing if there are few people around when someone is in distress and you offer help (by either physically helping them or calling 911); it's quite another when you're in a crowded area and there are trained people around who are there to handle such situations. In that respect, you and the person in distress are better off if you stay out of it.
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freebird
Drama Llama

'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
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Post by freebird on Nov 2, 2015 15:17:17 GMT
It's pretty easy to have some distance and armchair quarterback someone else's life. I imagine Annabella did exactly what she felt was right for HERSELF at that moment. If you put yourself in her situation, you might have done the same thing. I can TELL you what I would have done, but what I would have actually done might have been different. God forbid that we're human beings who take care of our own safety first.
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Post by nurseypants on Nov 2, 2015 15:41:07 GMT
You don't have to personally try to do something for the person, but you CAN see if the bouncer or another employee has called for help or done something to make sure the person in distress gets help. I know a lot of people feel the way you indicated, Maureen. I guess I just wish people had some sort of sign on them, "I don't watch out for others, it's not my job". Obviously, that is a crazy concept, but it sure would make it easier for me to know who I would be wasting my time on. Getting help for someone who needs help is not that hard, but it does inconvenience someone for a bit. Some people consider that just part of being a responsible adult, and others don't. Both sides will probably never really understand each other.Some people consider that just part of being a responsible adult, and others don't. Both sides will probably never really understand each other. I know it's early, only 9:30 here in the Midwest, but I'm going to call it. For this sentence: I guess I just wish people had some sort of sign on them, "I don't watch out for others, it's not my job". and this one : Some people consider that just part of being a responsible adult, and others don't. Both sides will probably never really understand each other. Beachgurl wins the coveted Daily Sanctimony Award. Congratulations, Beachgurl!
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Nov 2, 2015 16:56:09 GMT
Your words, my emphasis. Your compassion astounds me.  And yes, while I think this was likely a drugs/alcohol situation, people with OI (osteogenesis imperfecta aka. brittle bones) can have a leg break while just standing somewhere. And with a femur break, you would be screaming. I am always amazed that some women will see another woman in obvious distress and do absolutely nothing to assist the one in distress. I am quite surprised by your assumptions about what anyone else did or did not do. I would imagine if the bouncers at the club were handling it.. that they would not want someone unassociated with the person, with no medical knowledge to get involved.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Nov 2, 2015 16:59:54 GMT
Your words, my emphasis. Your compassion astounds me.  And yes, while I think this was likely a drugs/alcohol situation, people with OI (osteogenesis imperfecta aka. brittle bones) can have a leg break while just standing somewhere. And with a femur break, you would be screaming. I am always amazed that some women will see another woman in obvious distress and do absolutely nothing to assist the one in distress. You are making a lot of assumptions. Perhaps you might want to get more information before berating the OP
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jenkate77
Full Member
 
Posts: 427
Jun 26, 2014 1:33:16 GMT
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Post by jenkate77 on Nov 4, 2015 6:45:42 GMT
I am nosy AND compassionate, and would totally find an employee to make sure it was being handled (and see if I could get some details). I defintely wouldn't approach the person though. If I saw a person in the same situation on the street I'd call 911, but probably not approach either. I'm a 5'0" woman who only works out by carrying around a toldder. There's not a lot I can do to physically help, and I'm not interested in the chance of a physical altercations.
There is a 120 mile stretch of road between our house and my inlaws. It's over a nasty mountain pass full of animals. My husband has DRILLED it into my head that I am never to stop for someone on that road. "You cannot provide assistance. Get yourself and the boys to cell service and call to make sure someone knows about them."
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