AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,970 
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Post by AnotherPea on Nov 7, 2015 20:10:27 GMT
If I received a card like that before my children had even had an opportunity to demonstrate their behaviour, I'd leave. Why?
How is that any different than a school issuing a handbook with expected behaviors? Would you boycott your child's school because it establish expectations before school starts?
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 21:03:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2015 20:12:24 GMT
If I received a card like that before my children had even had an opportunity to demonstrate their behaviour, I'd leave. Why?
How is that any different than a school issuing a handbook with expected behaviors? Would you boycott your child's school because it establish expectations before school starts?
I don't view them as the same thing, at all. |
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
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Post by georgiapea on Nov 7, 2015 20:12:33 GMT
Rather than handing only people with kids the card, it could be placed into the menus so everyone will see it. If a parent is going to get all bent out of shape just seeing it, they can leave before ordering.
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Post by darkchami on Nov 7, 2015 20:14:12 GMT
But the alternative would be handing out the cards to parents whose children are actively misbehaving. That could be setting fire to gasoline depending on the temperament of the person. I think the blanket statement of expectations is a more fair and less confrontational approach. I don't see how confronting everyone is better than just addressing poor behaviour. I think it is more of posting an expectation rather than a confrontation. Once bad behavior does occur, the restaurant can address it without the outrage you often see on social media. I agree that the restaurant is not likely to lose much business. Most restaurant goers will appreciate the atmosphere. I don't really have a dog in this fight. We never go out to eat. |
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Post by anxiousmom on Nov 7, 2015 20:15:34 GMT
I just find the assumption that all families have poorly behaved children to be offensive. I also don't like class-wide punishments like class detention, or shopping at Costco where every shopper is presumed to be shoplifting. I like giving people a chance to demonstrate who they are before treating them as if they are bad parents or people. I understand what you are saying-I dislike intensely the assumptions that all teenagers are wild kids who don't know how to do anything but text and act like hooligans. I know too many teenagers prove the assumptions wrong every day. At the same time, I have also eaten at restaurants where children are NOT parented. It has become a problem to the point that it is part of our collective conversations. So how do restaurants and other establishments handle it? If it were the aforementioned teenagers, they put up signs that say 'no loitering' and 'all those under 18 must be accompanied by an adult' and every one applauds with little to no push back. As soon as we start talking about young children, there is a hue and cry and how people are discriminating against their kids. I have had young kids. Mine were two years apart and I was single at the time (meaning that I was alone in trying to parent two young kids.) I promise you that I was on the wrong side of the side eye on more than one occasion-right up until people saw me trying to stop the wild boys from acting like they were raised by wolves. Once people see that you are trying, they really do you a lot of slack to teach kids how to behave in public. |
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,970
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Post by AnotherPea on Nov 7, 2015 20:18:14 GMT
Why?
How is that any different than a school issuing a handbook with expected behaviors? Would you boycott your child's school because it establish expectations before school starts?
I don't view them as the same thing, at all. Okay then. Would you turn around and exit an aquarium that had signs posted "don't tap on the glass walls - it hurts the fish"? Would you leave a bar if it had a sign posted that the bartender had the right to stop serving if a patron appeared to have had too much? Are you offended by those proactive messages? Does it make you think people believe your kids like to harm animals? Or that you're a drunk that doesn't know her limit? |
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AnotherPea
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Post by AnotherPea on Nov 7, 2015 20:20:17 GMT
And about Costco Ashley, do you boycott stores that have in-house security roaming around? Cameras? security tags on merchandise?
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 21:03:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2015 20:22:09 GMT
I don't view them as the same thing, at all. Okay then. Would you turn around and exit an aquarium that had signs posted "don't tap on the glass walls - it hurts the fish"? Would you leave a bar if it had a sign posted that the bartender had the right to stop serving if a patron appeared to have had too much? Are you offended by those proactive messages? Does it make you think people believe your kids like to harm animals? Or that you're a drunk that doesn't know her limit? I wouldn't have a problem if the restaurant had a sign up that asked parents ensure their children sit nicely and maintain an indoor volume. To me, the problem is handing out a list of rules as families enter. |
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,970
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Post by AnotherPea on Nov 7, 2015 20:23:24 GMT
Okay then. Would you turn around and exit an aquarium that had signs posted "don't tap on the glass walls - it hurts the fish"? Would you leave a bar if it had a sign posted that the bartender had the right to stop serving if a patron appeared to have had too much? Are you offended by those proactive messages? Does it make you think people believe your kids like to harm animals? Or that you're a drunk that doesn't know her limit? I wouldn't have a problem if the restaurant had a sign up that asked parents ensure their children sit nicely and maintain an indoor volume. To me, the problem is handing out a list of rules as families enter. Gotcha. So the suggestion that they have it inserted into the menus or on the table, would be fine? I can see that. |
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Post by Drew on Nov 7, 2015 20:23:47 GMT
If I entered a restaurant with my 3 children and was handed that card, I wouldn't feel welcome. I would feel that my children were especially unwelcome. If I stayed, I'd feel like my family was being monitored, on display, and silently evaluated by the staff and other patrons. It's clear they don't want kids in the restaurant...okie doke, no worries, just say so. Assuming my family is a bunch of wall-scratching, restaurant wandering, art-defacing thugs before we even sit down...well that would make me leave, which appears that's just what they want and would be fine my many of y'all.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 21:03:51 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2015 20:25:11 GMT
I wouldn't have a problem if the restaurant had a sign up that asked parents ensure their children sit nicely and maintain an indoor volume. To me, the problem is handing out a list of rules as families enter. Gotcha. So the suggestion that they have it inserted into the menus or on the table, would be fine? I can see that. Yeah, that wouldn't bother me (much) either. Although I do think that parents who don't teach their children to behave probably aren't going to pay much notice to a list of rules, regardless of where it is posted. |
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Post by shanni on Nov 7, 2015 20:27:35 GMT
For the most part I'm okay with this. The only part that gave me pause was when the woman said a kid did $1500 worth of damage on the wall by dragging a quarter along it. Huh? If your walls are so fragile that a kid can do that much damage with a quarter, maybe you need to get more durable stuff.
But in general, I am all for restaurants cracking down. I have kids. If they were misbehaving, one of us would take them out until they could behave, or we would just get a box for the parent that had to leave. That's part of being a parent. I see lots of wild kids in restaurants and it really is annoying when you are out trying to enjoy yourself, only to have someone else's precious child trying to take fries off your plate.
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,970
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Post by AnotherPea on Nov 7, 2015 20:31:26 GMT
I think that if rules are spelled out enough times, many people will start to notice. If they don't agree and take care of their kids, a simply pointing to the sign/card would be easy by restaurant staff. Some people are seriously clueless, not just self-centered.
A teen boy walked by me in the gym the other day. He spit out a sunflower shell in the middle of the gym floor. I called him out on it. Made him pick it up. He looked at me like I was nuts. I asked him if he spit shells out onto the floor of his house. He said no. Why not? Because my Mom would smack me. Okay then, take the lesson she taught you and apply it to everywhere else you go. That's your home, THIS is your school. Oh! Okay. Like suddenly the world made sense to him. He's not a bad kid, he just didn't know any better until he was taught.
I do think that young parents may not realize that their special little angels are acting like brats until they're told. Sometimes it takes being told multiple times. The first time they aren't likely to listen - just be offended. But it might start settling in after a while.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Nov 7, 2015 20:34:37 GMT
I completely understand the frustration of patrons subjected to unruly kids. My kids are well past the age I have to worry about jumping on chairs or climbing walls, but I think if I'd walked into a restaurant with my children and someone handed me a card like this, I'd turn around and walk out. My kids were great in restaurants, so definitely not the case of w parent of unruly kids. Just a parent offended at the assumption I can't control my children.
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calgal08
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Jun 27, 2014 15:43:46 GMT
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Post by calgal08 on Nov 7, 2015 20:42:35 GMT
Bravo to the owners of this restaurant. One of our family rules is good behavior in restaurants. Our 2 boys, from newborns, have been to, and once they could eat real food, have eaten at some of the nicest/fanciest restaurants in our area. There have only been 2 occasions when we've left a restaurant because of kid behavior. Even at home we expect good table manners. Yes, there have been times when we've been asked to join very good friends and their kids for dinner at a restaurant and we've declined purely because of the behavior of their kids.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Nov 7, 2015 20:49:56 GMT
If I entered a restaurant with my 3 children and was handed that card, I wouldn't feel welcome. I would feel that my children were especially unwelcome. If I stayed, I'd feel like my family was being monitored, on display, and silently evaluated by the staff and other patrons. It's clear they don't want kids in the restaurant...okie doke, no worries, just say so. Assuming my family is a bunch of wall-scratching, restaurant wandering, art-defacing thugs before we even sit down...well that would make me leave, which appears that's just what they want and would be fine my many of y'all. YEP. Well put. I never had an issue with my child in a restaurant. She was generally very well behaved and if she wasn't it was my fault for waiting too long to feed her. Generally then if asked most restaurants were willing to accommodate with some crackers or bread. So I never needed a reminder of how my child should behave, but to me this is far reaching and not very hospitable. |
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Nov 7, 2015 20:52:28 GMT
What is next a list of rules for adults?
Imagine walking into a restaurant and being told how you must behave.
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keithurbanlovinpea
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Flowing with the go...
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Post by keithurbanlovinpea on Nov 7, 2015 21:05:18 GMT
A restaurant here in Houston has implemented something like this very recently after several expensive pieces of artwork were damaged by misbehaving kids. Isn't this the same one as in the linked article? Ha, ha... I didn't read the article. I saw it was a Daily Mail link and assumed it was a UK restaurant. |
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Post by birukitty on Nov 7, 2015 21:08:28 GMT
I say bravo to the restaurant. They had damage from kids behaving badly, and parents ignoring their kids behavior rather than disciplining them, so they came up with this solution. It's their business and this is what they've come up with. It's a gutsy bold move, and personally I love it.
I had my son in 1989, so it's been awhile for me to be around small children (the mothering side I mean). Lots of times in public I look around and wonder what the heck happened to discipline? Back then time outs were in style, but nowadays it seems as if some parents would rather be their child's friend's rather than their parent's, and not discipline at all. We see more and more little snowflakes. At least that's what I see from my viewpoint.
I would go to this restaurant because they have this policy. I hate seeing children chasing each other around a restaurant while the parents ignore them-makes me want to get up and discipline them myself, but of course you can't do that.
Debbie in MD.
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dantemia
Full Member
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Jun 27, 2014 19:28:17 GMT
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Post by dantemia on Nov 7, 2015 21:32:38 GMT
I have a 7 year old and a 2 year old. My 7 year old , we were always able to take him out to dinner. He sat, he ate and never fussed. We never stayed more than an hour. We always went to family friendly restaurants and a few times a nice one and never a peep. In fact he would please and thank you all the time.
My 2 year old is another story- it's very hit or miss with her. We tend NOT to go out to eat with her. We don't want it to be uncomfortable for others and ourselves. We do parent our children. We do try every once in a while though to teach her how to be in a restaurant. We go to places like Red Robin, etc , never anywhere fancy.
I have left places when she acts up.
Would the list of rules offend me? Not sure, I think most would think they don't apply to them.
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Post by Merge on Nov 7, 2015 21:38:00 GMT
I wouldn't have a problem if the restaurant had a sign up that asked parents ensure their children sit nicely and maintain an indoor volume. To me, the problem is handing out a list of rules as families enter. Gotcha. So the suggestion that they have it inserted into the menus or on the table, would be fine? I can see that. Actually they are handing them out with menus after the families are seated, at least according to the story our local news ran. Not as people enter. |
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Post by originalvanillabean on Nov 7, 2015 21:40:32 GMT
I support the restaurant and although it's sad that we are discussing it, it's reality.
Not every parent is responsible and considers other folks around them in restaurants.
Some kids are bad. Some kids are terrible. Some parents don't care to notice, and on and on.
As a parent, you have a right to raise, discipline, etc...your kids the way you see fit.
But, when you are at a restaurant and your kids continually disrupt another patron then it isn't ok.
And for those of you who may be offended, I don't understand why. If your children don't act in the manner they address in the card, it doesn't apply to you.
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scorpeao
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Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Nov 7, 2015 21:50:52 GMT
If I received a card like that before my children had even had an opportunity to demonstrate their behaviour, I'd leave. But the alternative would be handing out the cards to parents whose children are actively misbehaving. That could be setting fire to gasoline depending on the temperament of the person. I think the blanket statement of expectations is a more fair and less confrontational approach. Why not have a table tent at each table with the card? I don't know that I'd be offended if I received that card, but I wouldn't want to ever return to the establishment. My dd was never unruly when in a restaurant, so the card isn't aimed at me, but something about it just doesn't sit well with me. |
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smartypants71
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Post by smartypants71 on Nov 7, 2015 21:58:18 GMT
A restaurant here in Houston has implemented something like this very recently after several expensive pieces of artwork were damaged by misbehaving kids. That's the restaurant in the article. I was going to say this is local to me, and I plan to eat at this restaurant soon! Sad that parents have to be reminded about their basic responsibilities like this. Our friends own this restaurant. The restaurant is filled with really great art created by Ana's sister. Here is a link to more about here: Ceci BeavenThe food is delicious! You should definitely go for brunch. They have the best chilaquiles I've ever eaten in my life! |
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Post by Drew on Nov 7, 2015 21:58:14 GMT
Gotcha. So the suggestion that they have it inserted into the menus or on the table, would be fine? I can see that. Actually they are handing them out with menus after the families are seated, at least according to the story our local news ran. Not as people enter. Why not make it part of the menu, instead of profiling families. If I were a waitress, I'd be mortified to hand that card to a family I was about to serve. |
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smartypants71
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Location: Houston, TX
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Post by smartypants71 on Nov 7, 2015 22:08:47 GMT
Actually they are handing them out with menus after the families are seated, at least according to the story our local news ran. Not as people enter. Why not make it part of the menu, instead of profiling families. If I were a waitress, I'd be mortified to hand that card to a family I was about to serve. I'm not sure if it was mentioned in the article, but apparently this is done quite a bit in Mexico City where the owner is from (the restaurant is also Mexico City cuisine). The article doesn't mention half the bullshit people do with their kids in this restaurant. I've seen parents spread out full happy meals from Burger King at the table. Even if we weren't friends with them, we'd still support this. |
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smartypants71
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Location: Houston, TX
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Post by smartypants71 on Nov 7, 2015 22:11:35 GMT
I wouldn't have a problem if the restaurant had a sign up that asked parents ensure their children sit nicely and maintain an indoor volume. To me, the problem is handing out a list of rules as families enter. Gotcha. So the suggestion that they have it inserted into the menus or on the table, would be fine? I can see that. They don't have the kind of menu where this can be inserted nor is this the type of restaurant with table tents. |
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Post by leannec on Nov 7, 2015 22:14:30 GMT
I wish Montana's would have this thing ... we've stopped going there because of the terrible kid behaviour  My girls were never allowed to act up in a restaurant ... ever. |
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Post by cadoodlebug on Nov 7, 2015 22:16:42 GMT
What I hate is when parents think their snowflake's obnoxious behavior is cute or funny. Trust me, it's only cute to you not the people in the next booth who are trying to have a nice meal and are interrupted constantly by your kid.  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 7, 2015 22:25:42 GMT
When I had small children, this wouldn't have offended me at all. I know these places of business have good reason to do so, since I've often seen the bad behavior they are warning against with my own eyes.
My extended family went out to eat once with seven small children between us. We were seated well apart from the other patrons. It didn't bother us that the restaurant assumed there would be noise issues or behavior problems. There was another group with small children already there who proved why restaurant thought it might be necessary - kids running around tables, bouncing up and down on the booth seats and pounding the table demanding their food. We were relieved when they finally left.
So while it's sad that they feel it necessary to give parents pointers on how their kids should behave in a restaurant, it's the result of experience and not just some random dislike of families with kids.
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