A restaurant is handing out notices to people with kids

I rather think that if this restaurant thought the notice was going to drive away their core clientele, they wouldn't have taken this step. This is not a part of town that has a lot of families with young children. It's an upscale urban area full of professional single people or those married/cohabitating without kids. Yes, there are families, but they are by no means the primary demographic for the area. It's a restaurant with original artwork on the walls - not a Chili's.

Clearly they've experienced some issues with kid behavior in their restaurant, and have determined that for the restaurant they'd like to have, they'd rather risk offending the occasional family than have their core clients irritated and their bottom line hurt by the behavior of some people's children. There are eleventy billion Mexican restaurants in Houston, so those who prefer a different atmosphere can just walk down the block to a different restaurant.

Kids' behavior in public is so frequently very poor that it's a common topic of discussion both here and elsewhere. I don't understand why it's offensive that a restaurant, recognizing this widespread problem, might take steps to prevent it on their premises.

It's not exactly the same... to me its just the same mentality of assuming that because a few kids misbehaved we will assume all kids will misbehave. 

It seems to me more of, some kids have misbehaved and we have suffered losses as a result. Here's some behaviors that we can't have here.

Obviously I have no problem with it. Laying down clear and concise expectations for behavior is something restaurants wouldn't have to do if more parents would.

We go to these wonderful local-chain restaurants that are a little upscale, very pleasant, high quality food and great ambience. Beautiful restaurants and just always a great place to eat.

Somehow they have managed to cultivate this lovely place without having to resort to treating its customers like they are just ill mannered yard apes who don't know any better. We are there at least every other week and aside from the occasional child who is out a little too late and is done with the whole sitting still thing, we have never felt irritated by the other patrons.

I don't know what the difference is but someone is doing something very right.

I know it's not where we live because going out to a restaurant often involves people who think the restaurant is their personal dining room and do things like play "bubblegum bubblegum" and scream at the top of their lungs every time someone wins a round.

I'm not usually irritated by other people being around me and doing normal people stuff like talking and laughing and kids making normal amounts of kid noise. But why some particular places are so easy to be in and some places are prone to such poor manners from their patrons baffles me just a little sometimes.

I would not have been offended to have been given one of those cards when my children were young, of course I expected them to sit and entertain themselves quietly at restaurants. There was a period of time when we did not eat out (would get food to go though) because my 2 year old would not behave and would create a ruckus because we wouldn't let her out of her high chair to run around. Our last restaurant visit with her during that time period ended with us asking the waitress to make our meals togo and then leaving much earlier than we would have liked. It is just not fair to the other patrons to have to listen to my ill behaved toddler.

In fact, anytime my kids were creating a scene in public, I would pick them up and leave whatever venue were in: restaurant, grocery store, movie, etc. It sucked for them and it sucked for me. They learned very quickly that if they did not conduct themselves in a well-behaved manner that we would leave and that they would get to spend quiet time in their room when we got home. If it were close to bedtime, they would be put to bed early. IMO, being out and about is a privilege, not a right. Kids are smart and they learn what behaviours their parents will tolerate and which ones they won't. Clearly that tantruming child knew that worked for him.

The card the restaurant is handing out is simply a if the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it situation.

eta - I used to work in a restaurant so I may be a bit biased. There were a few times that I was almost knocked over (with a tray of drinks) by kids stampeding through the restaurant. That said, I think people don't give kids enough credit. They are smart and they learn very quickly what works and what doesn't.

This isn't a class.

This is a small business that has a lot invested in the physical appearance of their restaurant which has already suffered damage because parents are allowing their children to run amok.

Don't like it? Don't go there.

It sounds lovely to me and if I'm in the area, I will consider going there.

Oh, the parents still have issues when the speshul snoflake is reprimanded for not following clearly stated expectations.  Trust me.  I frequently have referral notices sent back with parent comments of how ridiculous it is that I expect junior high students to sit in their seats and not disturb their neighbor's.  They're apparently "just being nice to their friends and helping them".  Uh, not when I'm at the front of the room TEACHING a math lesson!

Who says kids aren't welcome? Properly behaving kids ARE welcome. And parents that don't subscribe to the "kids will be kids" mentality.

What exactly is "bad" behavior in a restaurant and what is normal kid stuff?

These are what I don't care to see:

banging on table - with hands or silverware
bouncing on booth seats, rocking into the back of the booth seat - the people on the other side feel it.
peering over the back of a booth
getting down and playing in the walkways
shrieking of any sort - happy or upset
More on the parents- bringing in McDonalds because the child is too picky to eat from the restaurant menu - low on my list but I think it is super tacky.


These are the actions I would hope the card would prevent.

My children are all adults now (damn, when did I get old!?!), but all three had their hellion moments in restaurants when they were carted out. They did learn proper behavior after a few times, so it can be done.

I have to say though that when DH and I go out to eat now, we tend to avoid all chain restaurants whether mid range or higher because, in our area at least, it seems as though there are always a few children who are running free range around the restaurant like wild things. It's not as often we see this in independent restaurants, but it does happen and it does make our dining experience unpleasant.

I wouldn't have been offended if these rules were conveyed when my crazies were young and honestly, probably would've visited that establishment because my children would know there was a set of reasonable expectations for them, thus helping to insure that we have a greater chance of a nice meal.