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Post by fiddlesticks on Nov 12, 2015 6:59:40 GMT
My "one little word" this year as been simplify. It has been a very successful word for me. I have been decluttering ALL year and feel really good about how things are. My anxiety (which isn't bad compared to some) has benefited as well.
And now Christmas is coming! I love the season but really want to enjoy it. I want it to be a simpler, less-stuff holiday. I want to just enjoy the day with my daughter and husband, not drive all over the place, not spend hours in the kitchen. I am just starting to think about how I want to simplify Christmas.
Has anyone done anything intentionally in the last few years to make Christmas simpler?
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Post by nlwilkins on Nov 12, 2015 7:05:29 GMT
We don't decorate that much. There is a tree in our attic that is already decorated and hubby just has to bring it down, fluff it a bit and plug it in. It has unbreakable ornaments cause of the cats so it works just fine for us. For the cooking and all, we don't do cookies, just the meal with the family which is usually sometime between Christmas and New Years. Generally it is a ham, with whatever sides I feel like making. The girls might guilt me into making dressing but I've got that down so it goes fast.
Now, presents, we insist everyone has to make a wish list and we take it from there. I go overboard on gifts and try to make sure they are items that will be used or used up. Bath stuff, cooking stuff and the like go over good so there is not much to cause clutter the rest of the year.
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Post by myshelly on Nov 12, 2015 7:13:27 GMT
A few years ago my husband and I sat down to talk about the fact that we had started to hate Christmas.
It wasn't fun.
So we decided to cut the parts that weren't fun or meaningful to us and keep only the parts that were.
First thing to go was Christmas cards. I don't enjoy sending them, don't care about getting them, and generally think of them as a waste of money. Boom, gone.
I hate cooking. So I don't cook, boom, done.
I like shopping for my kids, but no one else. So we stopped giving gifts to adults.
It's ok to figure out what's fun for you and only do that.
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luckyexwife
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Jun 25, 2014 21:21:08 GMT
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Post by luckyexwife on Nov 12, 2015 8:38:15 GMT
A few years ago my husband and I sat down to talk about the fact that we had started to hate Christmas. It wasn't fun. So we decided to cut the parts that weren't fun or meaningful to us and keep only the parts that were. First thing to go was Christmas cards. I don't enjoy sending them, don't care about getting them, and generally think of them as a waste of money. Boom, gone. I hate cooking. So I don't cook, boom, done. I like shopping for my kids, but no one else. So we stopped giving gifts to adults. It's ok to figure out what's fun for you and only do that. Will you share what parts you did keep?
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Post by ScrapsontheRocks on Nov 12, 2015 9:27:02 GMT
Yes. We live in South Africa, my parents are long gone (RIP). My husband is from the UK and for years the only time we could travel there to see his parents (and as a bonus, his sister and that bunch of family) was at Christmas so we did it, year after year, peak time travel, packing prezzies, dogs in kennels, worry about the house, yada yada. We got home just after New Year more exhausted than when we shut down our company for the "holidays". Now both of his parents are gone (RIP) and we are done! His sister knows she is welcome here any time she can steel herself to get on a flight and if she doesn't do it soon, I predict her husband will come without her! JK. The only must-do we have left is flowers for the graves. We take the ones for my parents early Christmas morning and the ones for FIL/MIL are delivered to my SIL, she takes them with her offering. My husband is the cook, he loves it whereas I regard it as work. Last year we had a whole Salmon, no turkey, and I have already ordered the same for this year. Of course there is plenty of other stuff, but that salmon is our new tradition. Easy, healthy and impressive too! We used to entertain quite a bit (my family and some friends) but last year my husband had an injury so we used that as a legitimate excuse to give it a miss. Cue much entitled whining and non-reciprocation so the penny finally dropped and we officially called that done too. The calls about "what are we doing this year?" have already started and I am holding firm and loving it. ETA: We take our staff out to a restaurant of their choice around mid-Dec, on the day that we officially close for the year. We alternate this with sending them and their families off to a more family-friendly thing for the day. On those years we make an appearance, thank them and then leave them to it. Works for us! Good luck, OP.
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tuesdaysgone
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Jun 26, 2014 18:26:03 GMT
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Post by tuesdaysgone on Nov 12, 2015 11:17:54 GMT
Like myshelly, we have just simply cut way back in the past few years. Keep in mind, we don't have children, so that makes it a little easier. I do decorate, but just with a couple wreaths and my snowman collection. I send fewer cards and buy fewer gifts. We spend Christmas Eve/Day with DH's family and even they have down sized the celebration recently. We still have a big traditional Christmas dinner, but everyone contributes. For me, less is WAY more at Christmas but you have to do what feels right for your family.
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wellway
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Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
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Post by wellway on Nov 12, 2015 11:25:28 GMT
You could break it down into the component parts and lose one thing from each part.
Food - the main event, Food - the extras, presents, decorations and Christmas events plus whatever else makes your Christmas. Make a list and work out a good reason why something must stay part of your Christmas. The items you struggle to "approve" should be the first for the chop.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Nov 12, 2015 12:03:16 GMT
This year we are going to Florida with my Sister and her family. We are only taking one suitcase between two of us. SO needs must, we are going to keep it simple.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Nov 12, 2015 12:09:04 GMT
One tip is: for gift giving... Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read.
Makes it really easy
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Deleted
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May 13, 2024 15:37:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 12:23:29 GMT
I'm trying something totally new this year. My goal last year was all shopping done by 12/15. This year all gifts will be bought by the end of Thanksgiving weekend. With the exception of the couple of cash gifts I'm making (a tree lot, money pad and some orgami). All cards will be done and mailed, all decorating is being done Thanksgiving Sunday. All parties have been planned,events been put on the calander, holiday outfits have been bought. My goal for December is to enjoy. We will go to our parties, host ours, go to the holiday events,volunteer and enjoy our family. Simplifying to me is not to stress. I won't be stressed because I'll be able to enjoy. We have said no thank to things that have no meaning to us, sometimes we loose what the holidays mean to us...family.
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Post by myboysnme on Nov 12, 2015 13:05:52 GMT
I think it helps me to simplify that I don't have any family close by who we need to visit and my kids are grown so we are not taking them to see all the relatives.
Several years ago I decided to cut way back. I don't bake cookies. I don't host parties and usually don't attend any. Christmas dinner is just us and it is a meal we eat late in the day and very scaled back.
Decorating - well I still do my tree, we have some lights outside but not alot I have a huge antique ornament collection that I don't even display.
I do most all of my shopping online. I still send cards because I enjoy sending and receiving, but I never make them.
I think anything that is done should be done because you want to or you enjoy it. My mom loves Christmas lights so my brother does her whole yard for her to enjoy. She still bakes 2 kinds of cookies. She has a real tree. Those are the things she loves.
Other than that, stop doing it and see if anyone really cares or notices. Chances are, most of what you do no one truly cares except you.
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Post by cyndijane on Nov 12, 2015 13:30:15 GMT
For me it's about being *in the moment*. I'm a person who has multiple converstaions/thought threads going around in my head 24/7. My mind is NEVER still. So, for me to focus on what I'm doing, and who I'm with, is a concentrated effort.
So, the boys and I will put up the tree this year. I choose not to care what it looks like when we're finished- instead I focus on their delight at seeing all the ornaments with their names on them, and the stories behind our family ornaments. We do have family close, so when we pick a date for our meal/games, I'm solely there. We enjoy our candlelit Christmas Eve service, and while we're there, I work hard at truly hearing the words of the songs we're singing, and the message being retold. (Although, my boys are 5 & 8, and I'll quickly admit, I don't trust my youngest with an open flame- so when he's holding that candle, you better believe he's got my attention!)
As far as gifting, I shop online, and I shop early. And some of what we do is because it's an activity for my boys. We'll make candies (I don't do cookies), mixes, etc. that can be made as a family and given. Especially to adults, who really need nothing, certainly not more junk to clutter their lives.
I don't have expectations of perfection. We're very much in the mode of teaching our boys how to think of others. Not everyone, but how can we spread joy during this season?
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Deleted
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May 13, 2024 15:37:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 14:16:37 GMT
Years ago I decided to simplify and only do what I feel up to. More than anything, I hate decorating the tree...we get a fresh tree. Depending on how I feel, some years I get a very tiny table top one and some years I get no tree at all. Knowing I do not have to make a huge tree mess setting up and then taking down in like 2-3 week period makes me so happy.
Another tradition I dreaded was hosting my in-laws on Christmas morning... ugh!!! I tried to plan nicer brunch type foods, but my MIL would step in and offer to cook her baby/my husband plain old bacon and eggs instead of something I spent hours planning and preparing. They also spent the whole time here looking at the clock because they needed to get home and get ready for their over the top celebration. I remember hoping for cloudy weather because I feared they would be able to see that I did not get around to cleaning windows or something before they came. I was up late into the night cleaning and up early trying to make myself presentable, doing last second cleaning, and cooking. Then two years ago, I decided to do Christmas Eve evening with them and it has been GREAT. They love it, I love it!! I do assorted appetizers (I collect recipes all year to try) and a desert. I have all day to cook and clean and if I miss anything, it is dark out anyway and they can't tell. haha
The last tradition that I hated was the driving around looking at Christmas lights. We did this for years and years with the in-laws... Being stuffed into a back of a vehicle driving up and down streets etc, all I could think about was what a total waste of time it was and what I should or could be doing. I now support them doing it if that is what they want, but I do not join in.
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Post by Bitchy Rich on Nov 12, 2015 15:56:13 GMT
A few years ago my husband and I sat down to talk about the fact that we had started to hate Christmas. It wasn't fun. So we decided to cut the parts that weren't fun or meaningful to us and keep only the parts that were. It's ok to figure out what's fun for you and only do that. I completely agree with you. Well put. I enjoy baking, but I cut it way, way back so I focus on things for us to enjoy instead of making up plates and giving them to friends. They can make their own damn cookies. I sold most of our knick knack decorations. One large item in the main rooms is enough. The tree in the living room, my grandma's light up ceramic tree in another. Simple and easy to get out. We don't buy for adults, just the kids. In past years, I have bought too much for nieces/nephews. This year I picked out one thing for each of them, and I'm done.
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Post by myshelly on Nov 12, 2015 16:07:26 GMT
A few years ago my husband and I sat down to talk about the fact that we had started to hate Christmas. It wasn't fun. So we decided to cut the parts that weren't fun or meaningful to us and keep only the parts that were. First thing to go was Christmas cards. I don't enjoy sending them, don't care about getting them, and generally think of them as a waste of money. Boom, gone. I hate cooking. So I don't cook, boom, done. I like shopping for my kids, but no one else. So we stopped giving gifts to adults. It's ok to figure out what's fun for you and only do that. Will you share what parts you did keep? First of all, let me say I have little kids right now, so this is what Christmas looks like for us right now. I'm sure it will change as they grow and we will have to find new ways to enjoy the season. We kept the "events" for the kids - the drive thru Christmas lights display; the Polar Express train ride; the carriage ride to look at lights; visiting Santa; the Lego advent calendars; watching Christmas movies. We kept decorating. We kept Santa and Elf on the Shelf. We kept wish lists and gifts for the kids. But, I truly enjoy all of those things. And my kids truly enjoy all of those things. And I truly enjoy seeing my kids' reactions to all of those things.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 16:11:53 GMT
We don't travel anywhere, and I only buy presents for the immediate family (whom I get a list from), so husband and 2 kids. We have Christmas music playing, and I usually will bake one or two kinds of cookies in the week leading up to it. But that is it. We will probably do a lasagna for the dinner.
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grinningcat
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Jun 26, 2014 13:06:35 GMT
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Post by grinningcat on Nov 12, 2015 16:14:04 GMT
Simplifying Christmas actually sounds more stressful than just keeping Christmas as it is. That said, I think everyone should only do what they feel comfortable doing.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 16:21:48 GMT
My Christmas is so simplified, I might be called a scrooge! I know there are people that are stringent in doing their traditions, but I change it up every year and just make sure we celebrate and it works for our family. I have too many Christmas decorations! So last year, I only brought out the red and white decorations. There was not a good place for our tree, so I decorated a 2 foot white tree that sat on top of our entertainment center. This year, we will have a spot and the living room can be more festive. I gave up the idea of doing what is "expected". My kids don't care if everything is coordinated and beautifully wrapped. I don't like wrapping presents. So one year, every gift was put in separate rubbermaid containers. Lift the lid and there you go! My youngest (special needs) doesn't have many items that interest him. So he's getting very little for Christmas because he DOES NOT CARE! Luckily, my older 2 kids understand this and don't think I'm being cruel. I have to say, I am so glad my kids don't believe in Santa! We don't put out cookies and milk unless I'm in the mood. No more disguising my handwriting on the gift tags of the "Santa" presents. I KNOW there are some people who always do Santa gifts no matter the age, but that's not something I was raised with. Santa only came to the kids, but always filled everyone's stockings, so this is the norm for me and what works for our family. We also only buy presents for my mom and in-laws. We still get together with family. SO nice not having to buy for a lot of people. Again, not something I enjoy, but other people love.
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Montannie
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Jun 25, 2014 20:32:35 GMT
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Post by Montannie on Nov 12, 2015 16:29:05 GMT
I only send a few cards to relatives and close friends. I stopped baking cookies, or putting up a tree years ago. I do hang a wreath on the front door. I buy gifts for my mom, my bf, and two close friends. My nieces and nephew get $$$.
I usually participate in a "fill the stocking" event; this year, my office is buying underwear and toiletries for women veterans in a VA hospital.
ETA: I do put up my creche.
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Post by Mary_K on Nov 12, 2015 16:33:43 GMT
I'm all about the less decorating.
I used to decorate at least 4 rooms and all the windows and it looked like Christmas had exploded. Beautiful but HUGE amounts. Also a large Christmas village.
It would take a few days to put up and just as more if not longer to take down.
Now? Décor goes only in the living room and on the front porch. It takes about 3 hours the day after Thanksgiving and it all comes down the day after Christmas.
Still beautiful but much more enjoyable!
Mary K
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 16:34:17 GMT
This thread is refreshing! Sometimes I think we can go SO over the top that we lose the peace of Christmas. I have cut way back, too. And it works for us!
One main thing I think was giving up the stress of cards and writing that Christmas letter. Ugh dreaded it. Enjoy not having that stress.
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Post by padresfan619 on Nov 12, 2015 16:36:26 GMT
I wish my family would simplify the Christmas season. Looking at my calendar I am booked solid every weekend from the middle of November until the middle of January. I'm tired just looking at it.
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Post by Bitchy Rich on Nov 12, 2015 17:02:09 GMT
I forgot the one tradition I love maybe the most of all is the white elephant exchange with the adults. Pure and total crap. Last year my dad unwrapped this light switch cover.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 12, 2015 17:16:46 GMT
I'm the wrong person to ask because I do actually enjoy a lot of it and we do a lot. It doesn't stress me out though because I think it's mostly fun and magical especially since my kid is at the perfect age for this stuff. I wish I could actually fit MORE in! For the most part, the whole rest of my life is fairly basic and "simple" so for the holidays I like to go a little crazy.
The one thing I didn't really like was being guilted into driving all over the place on holidays shuffling from place to place to go to this family member's house or that one. Now that our parents are gone, we've been able to cut a lot of that out and do what we want. Some years we spend part of the holiday with friends and other times we stay home and celebrate on our own, it just depends what we're in the mood for.
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Post by anxiousmom on Nov 12, 2015 17:16:31 GMT
For me, it was about two things: Less decorating, and simplifying food for Christmas day. I decorate the house less than I ever did before. Tree-with minimal decorations-started as self-preservation because of the cats. I can't keep them out of it, so I packed away the fragile decorations and started decorating with natural things like shells, painted pine cones, bird's nests, etc. All the stuff that I don't care if something happens to it. A few other little items here and there around the house and I call it good. The other big stressor was food on Christmas day. About 10 years ago we went a whole different direction. The 'boys' grill out steak and chicken and for sides we have baked potatoes and a salad. It is all served on paper plates with paper napkins and BOOM. Dinner is done. Actually-you know what was the biggest thing that I changed that ties the two of these together? Expectations. I changed my expectations of what I *thought* Christmas should be. I realized that the more I read about the holiday season (including places like here) the more I realized that I was stressing myself out trying to make the season perfect. Perfect house, perfect decorations, perfect gifts, perfect foods, perfect hostess, perfect everything. I finally got it through my thick ass head that in spite of what I hear, nothing is perfect and the more I didn't reach the idealized expectation of perfect that I thought I should-based only on what I heard-the more disappointed and stressed I got. These days I only strive to have a good holiday season. Everything beyond that is just gravy. If I don't get around to having the Currier and Ives cookie baking moment with my kids, then so be it. And honestly, expecting to have any of those perfect moments with teenage boys is kind of like beating my head against a wall anyway. they have their own expectations and they don't always match mine. No sense in trying to force the issue. The perfections happen in the unexpected moments, and it all works out to be just right for us. So I figure the real answer to this question is just let it happen. Do what makes you happy, forget the magazine perfect expectations and just roll with it.
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Post by katieanna on Nov 12, 2015 18:06:27 GMT
We've put up a large (~6 to 7-ft) Christmas tree every year. Last year we gave the big tree to DD and we'll be putting up a tabletop tree with a small garden underneath. I'm looking forward to that. I love sending & receiving cards, especially those that are personalized with a photo and a note or letter. It's a great way to keep up with those you don't often see. I no longer bake cookies but I enjoy making our traditional turkey and stuffing which we take to DD's late Chistmas morning. For me, it's the gifts that bring the biggest headache. DH and I no longer exchange but I still exchange with my 3 breakfast buddies and a friend to whom I mail gifts. I like to make gifts but sometimes it seems that time slips by so quickly this time of year. I need to find a way to either start earlier or something to make it less stressful.
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Post by Karmady on Nov 12, 2015 18:22:11 GMT
We are going very simple on the presents with one small present for the two younger kids and stockings for all three kids. The younger kids (19 and 15) have many things on the go and a bigger family vacation in the summer, maybe an exchange in Hong Kong for dd as well. We are going to attend events, decorate simply (we always do) and emphasize family time and food My oldest son has multiple disabilities. He is 21 and still believes in Santa. He'll get more presents but he won't be travelling next year. We may do some baking to give away as well.
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josie
Full Member
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Jul 29, 2014 20:47:33 GMT
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Post by josie on Nov 12, 2015 18:38:47 GMT
I "simplified" in a different way. I love love the holiday season and sometimes want to do everything and to the extreme. That is a mix for disaster. So I sat down and made a list of priorities for the season - what is important to you and your family. I have small kids, so my big thing is the "magic" of the season for them.
By doing this, sometimes its not just what we are doing but the atmosphere I create in our home - comy, cozy, & happiness. Our goal is just to be together and present with each right now, everyone knows how fast this time goes.
I learn to say NO - #not sorry. I make my calendar in November - kids/our family events go first - lights at zoo, polar express, santa visit etc. I do a yearly gingerbread hourse party the 1st Saturday of the month. All other invites are 2nd priority.
Friday nights - we make no plans. We are all tired from the week, so it is Family night. Most of the time it's a picnic meal in front of the tree watching christmas movies, followed by popcorn and hot chocolate. The last Friday before Christmas we usually let the kids pick a restaurant and then we go out and look at lights or do lights at the zoo.
Charity/ Gifts - We really only buy for our kids. I like to go big and let me kids have the joy. Instead of what we would spend on other family etc., We make our yearly donation to a charity. I usually pick, but am starting to get the kids involved. When they get older I would like to do some volunteer time at the local food bank.
My kids create wish lists, I do most of their shopping via amazon. I am not wasting my precious time running through the mall or from store to store stressed about buying a gift.
Cooking / Baking - I enjoy it but I just limit what we do. Our mandatory holiday treats are - our christmas cookies to decorate, homemade cinnamon rolls, ritzies (peanut butter between 2 ritz like crackers and dipped in chocolate) and peppermint bark cheesecake.
Christmas Eve - We do one meal (which can be prepped ahead of time) - Lasagna, Salad, Garlic Bread and Cheesecake for Dessert. Christmas Day - Cinnamon rolls/christmas candy for breakfast, and snacky/appetizer food all day. We stay in PJs - play, watch movies and snack. We totally indulge on the junk.
It's all perfect to us and thats all that matters.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 12, 2015 18:57:04 GMT
As my kids have gotten older, our traditions have gotten much simpler. We don't travel anymore, and that makes a huge difference. I love to decorate the tree, and I love seeing all my old ornaments with the stories behind them. I love to do a big fancy dinner with all the china and silver and crystal and multiple courses. It's just the four of us, but I love it. I stopped sending cards about 5 years ago when I was overwhelmed with an ill husband, and never went back. I didn't even realize how stressful it had become. I bake some cookies with our family (like one batch) and that's good. I don't buy more decorations, but I love all the old ones. I was never over the top with those to begin with. Sometimes we stay home Christmas Eve, and sometimes we go to a neighbor's. It's generally low key, and I spend some time finishing up my wrapping. Dinner is either takeout at home or whatever my neighbor is serving. Amazon is my best friend this time of year.
It's not so much that I've simplified, but if I don't enjoy something or it makes me anxious, it's out of here. I used to make gingerbread houses for the entire extended family, then I switched to cookie boxes, and now I just send an ornament. When it got stressful, I changed it up.
I don't have a huge ton of shopping, since my kids really want gift cards. I spend a lot of time on stockings and on wrapping the gift cards. DH and I don't stress about exchanging gifts with each other. Sometimes we don't give anything to each other -- it's not that important to us. Everyone gets a 12-pack of soda -- I'm not sure how that started, but it's one of the things the kids look forward to the most (the weirdos.)
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Post by maryland on Nov 12, 2015 19:00:33 GMT
I know what you mean. We have to travel so much during the holidays. We travel to my husband's grandmothers (5 hr. drive) the whole Thanksgiving break, then the weekend before Christmas travel to my inlaws (4 hr. drive) then Christmas travel to my parents (5 hr.). It seems that all I do is clean house, pack, unpack repeat. I am the only one that doesn't enjoy the traveling, so I am outnumbered. And the kids have been used to traveling 5 or more hours since they were 10 days to 1 month old, so they know no other way.
I am now trying to just enjoy the time we are home, and making cookies or watching a Christmas movie (hard because we are only home 2 weekends between Thanksgiving and Christmas). So I am trying to not make Christmas a big deal so I can enjoy the things we do in between all the trips.
Now once we get to where we are going, we do enjoy ourselves. But it's exhausting always having to travel! But I always celebrate when we get home from our Christmas trips and can relax at home! I am also thinking about starting Christmas things early, instead of waiting until after Thanksgiving. Watching Christmas movies now, making cookies, etc.
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