momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,151
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Nov 17, 2015 15:59:43 GMT
I'm pondering assumptions today... They seem to keep rearing their ugly head in my life so i'm looking for some insight from the peas.
Do you ever tend to find it a problem in your life? When, why? A couple of recent incidents on my part have been misinformation/lack of information. Assuming one thing because in the past it had been that way and not getting information that there was a change (school info w/dd.)
Another instance was asking a question to dh, who inserted his own assumptions. He turned an innocent question into me being a jerk.
Definitely communicating better with dd and trying to double check and clarify things with her, which seems to be going well. I just found out about dh's assumptions and i'm still thinking that one over some.
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sharlag
Drama Llama
I like my artsy with a little bit of fartsy.
Posts: 6,574
Location: Kansas
Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Nov 17, 2015 16:09:28 GMT
We all carry this baggage around that creates 'lenses' on our perceptions. We draw assumptions based on our past experiences, current situations, our attitudes, our moods.
It's really hard to assess in a vacuum.
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Post by bc2ca on Nov 17, 2015 16:16:57 GMT
I'm pondering assumptions today... They seem to keep rearing their ugly head in my life so i'm looking for some insight from the peas. Do you ever tend to find it a problem in your life? When, why? A couple of recent incidents on my part have been misinformation/lack of information. Assuming one thing because in the past it had been that way and not getting information that there was a change (school info w/dd.) Another instance was asking a question to dh, who inserted his own assumptions. He turned an innocent question into me being a jerk. Definitely communicating better with dd and trying to double check and clarify things with her, which seems to be going well. I just found out about dh's assumptions and i'm still thinking that one over some. We all come into any situation with our unique background & experience that will color our assumptions. How far you are from the original source (second and/or thirdhand account) adds in other peoples' twists/assumptions on the situation. Having worked in HR and mediating relationships in the office I learned to gather as much information as possible before making any statement/comments, etc. |
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Post by leftturnonly on Nov 17, 2015 16:28:10 GMT
Another instance was asking a question to dh, who inserted his own assumptions. He turned an innocent question into me being a jerk. This has been my biggest lesson here. People assume or read all kinds of things into anything you say based on their own experience. And boy, can they be wrong. Those assumptions can be so wrong, they'd be funny if they weren't used to be hurtful. (This is why I hate the election seasons.) |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 12, 2024 17:47:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 17, 2015 16:36:37 GMT
I once had a complete stranger make the most ridiculous assumptions about me to my face so now I try much harder not to make them about other people. I'm still smarting over some of the things she said!
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Post by Darcy Collins on Nov 17, 2015 16:47:39 GMT
We're hardwired to make assumptions. A bit overstated, perhaps. But in reality a key function of our brain's ability is to recognize, memorize and react to patterns. Without it, we would have been toast from an evolutionary standpoint - and even today it's the primary mechanism for reading and many other high cognitive abilities. Unfortunately, sometimes we misinterpret our patterns - which can lead to superstition, bigotry, and a whole host of other social ills.
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Post by gar on Nov 17, 2015 17:30:28 GMT
We need a framework to assess everything we hear/read/see so inevitably that framework is our experiences.
In the school scenario you mention your assumption sounds entirely reasonable....why would you guess at changes that may or may not have been made?
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Post by melanell on Nov 17, 2015 17:42:20 GMT
I think worst part of it is that people tend to make negative assumptions, and then, some people opt to voice those negative assumptions, with no actual proof. And once voiced, things like that can have a very bad habit of being repeated, which can really hurt someone.  |
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Post by malibou on Nov 17, 2015 18:20:26 GMT
I once had a complete stranger make the most ridiculous assumptions about me to my face so now I try much harder not to make them about other people. I'm still smarting over some of the things she said! I am so sorry someone did something like this to you. Mean people suck. Assumptions are so tricky to navigate. I'm learning to ask better questions. J |
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Post by lisae on Nov 17, 2015 18:38:03 GMT
Some times I run things over in my head so many times that I'm just sure I know what another person is going to say or how a situation is going to come out. It is usually the opposite of what I think is going to happen or be said.
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Post by anniefb on Nov 17, 2015 18:50:19 GMT
We all carry this baggage around that creates 'lenses' on our perceptions. We draw assumptions based on our past experiences, current situations, our attitudes, our moods. It's really hard to assess in a vacuum. Yeah that ^^ |
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253 
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Post by mallie on Nov 17, 2015 20:37:56 GMT
I had the sign below hanging in my last office as a reminder to myself (and others) of the ubiquity of bias, how assumptions skew our understanding. (If you can't read it, the sign says "We see things not as they are, but as we are.")  |
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