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Post by BlueDiamond on Nov 23, 2015 3:46:49 GMT
*UPDATE: We got the call about an hour ago that he passed. We're flying down tomorrow.
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So, I posted previously about how my uncle is paralyzed and my mom and I flew down to Florida to help out.
He is in Hospice now, but we don't know how long he can stay. I'm meeting wirh the Hospice Social Worker tomorrow to get lots of answers.
I also reached out to 2 law firms that deal with Elder Law issues to find an attorney to help us draw up a will, handle estate planning, and long term care issues.
Problem is, we're flying back home Wednesday afternoon! We only have 2 1/4 days to get things situated before we go home.
I'm having a hard time sleeping due to all the questions we have and all the issues raised. And I can't figure out what he does with his bank statements! I can't find a single one! Aauugh!
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Post by cmpeter on Nov 23, 2015 3:58:50 GMT
Sorry, I would be really stressed too. He's lucky to have you and your mom helping.
You wouldn't find any bank statements at our house either, ours are all online now. Is that the case with your uncle?
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Post by BlueDiamond on Nov 23, 2015 5:50:50 GMT
Probably. I'll have to ask him tomorrow.
I'm so worried that we won't have things settled before we go home. He has no family down here, and no real close friends to help him in our absence. There are so many unknowns right now.
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Post by anniefb on Nov 23, 2015 7:45:42 GMT
I'd be stressed too - you have a lot to organise. Sending positive thoughts you get it all sorted before you leave.
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,078
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on Nov 23, 2015 8:45:19 GMT
The attorney is the expert you are paying to figure all of this out and he/she may be able to continue to be a local contact for a fee.
Hope it all works out.
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Post by BlueDiamond on Nov 23, 2015 8:51:06 GMT
Thanks for the support, ladies. As you can see by the time (3:49 am), I still can't sleep! Tomorrow's gonna be a tough day in more ways than one!
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Nov 23, 2015 10:06:42 GMT
I'm sorry you are having such a stressful time.
Perhaps you can get a POA drawn up with the lawyer (that you will hopefully get to see before you leave) so that you can help set things up and arrange things even if you aren't right there.
And I second the idea of paying the lawyer a fee to do things in your absence.
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Post by christine58 on Nov 23, 2015 11:11:12 GMT
I'd be finding a way to bring him closer. He can't be down there all alone can he?? I know it sounds impossible but if he's dying, I could not leave him there.
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Post by BlueDiamond on Nov 23, 2015 15:19:47 GMT
LavenderLayoutLady - we were able to get a medical POA through the hospice, so there's that. We'll need to get a durable POA for both medical and financial needs.
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Post by BlueDiamond on Nov 23, 2015 15:23:23 GMT
christine58 - we asked him about that, but he refuses to be moved! He doesn't want to come back. As an alternative, if he ends up being released home after Hospice, my cousin (from my father's side) is willing and able to come down and care fir him - she is a trained Home Health Care nurse, and did that for a year with her aunt. Plus, my mom would come and stay down here as well. We just need to know his length of stay here and what outside/home services they will provide after his discharge.
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Post by BlueDiamond on Nov 23, 2015 15:26:13 GMT
I've gotten a reply email with a few questions from a legal assistant from one of the law firms I contacted, so There's that.
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Post by shamrock on Nov 23, 2015 15:45:01 GMT
Ask a lot of questions about the POAs.
My dad had them for my grandmother- was supposed to allow him to make medical, financial & any decision necessary. But it was such a headache to try and use them. Any banks, businesses that she had dealings with initially refused them & then had to have their attorneys look at it to verify (and that was never quick.) Here we thought having the POA would make things easier and it really didn't, at least not with the financial things.
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 23, 2015 16:09:54 GMT
You are so wonderful to help your mom. I don't know what I'd do without my DD.
Wishing you success in settling everything before you leave.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Nov 23, 2015 18:18:45 GMT
So he is in Hospice in another facility? and they may discharge him from that? If they did, they could/would discharge him to home on hospice. Is he having rehab at all? or because of the diagnosis they aren't doing it? What was his actually diagnosis besides the vague paralysis? and what is his prognosis?
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Post by arielsmom on Nov 23, 2015 19:02:22 GMT
Usually Hospice is paid for by Medicare. Your dr signs off that it is end of life treatment (unless it is palliative care). If the patient is still around after 6 months, the hospice team re-evaluates and usually is able to show the need continues.
If your uncle is in a hospice bed, he may be able to go home with hospice going there, but really there will need to be care givers in the home to care for him. Be sure to find out what his level of care/needs really is, not just what your uncle thinks it is. If there is not someone available to care for him at home, he may have better care staying in a hospice facility. Hospice can get some equipment into the home (hospital bed, O2 machine, etc.), but they do not pay for building modifications (rebuilding the bathroom) because it is assumed the pt will not be around to use it for long.
Thank you for being there for your uncle and your mom and advocating for him. Hope you will be able to shut down and get some rest, too.
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Post by BlueDiamond on Nov 29, 2015 6:31:36 GMT
UPDATE: we got the call about an hour ago that he passed. We're flying down tomorrow.
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Post by lovinlife on Nov 29, 2015 6:36:00 GMT
I'm sorry  |
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Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Nov 29, 2015 6:42:59 GMT
I'm sorry for your loss. {{{HUGS}}}
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Post by miominmio on Nov 29, 2015 6:47:46 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Post by JoP on Nov 29, 2015 7:03:18 GMT
I'm so very sorry for your loss  |
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Post by mom on Nov 29, 2015 7:29:54 GMT
Im sorry! Prayers for your entire family!
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Post by jenjie on Nov 29, 2015 11:01:39 GMT
I'm so sorry. |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Nov 29, 2015 11:32:51 GMT
I'm so sorry for your loss.
(((hugs))))
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Post by hop2 on Nov 29, 2015 12:33:49 GMT
So sorry for your loss. {{{hugs}}}
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Nov 29, 2015 12:36:56 GMT
My condolences.
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,345
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Nov 29, 2015 14:21:01 GMT
So sorry to hear this.
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Post by hosschick on Nov 29, 2015 14:45:20 GMT
I'm very sorry about the loss of your uncle. I've been following your posts and am sending you all the best.
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Post by KikiPea on Nov 29, 2015 14:46:17 GMT
I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs and prayers coming your way!
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Post by leannec on Nov 29, 2015 14:54:08 GMT
I'm very sorry for your loss |
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Post by stumpedagainof3 on Nov 29, 2015 16:07:43 GMT
I am sorry for your loss.
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