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Post by bonster on Dec 1, 2015 16:56:15 GMT
Am I being unreasonable here? If I have company coming over and we have a sick family member I always let people know. I either inform (so and so is getting over a cold) or cancel (so and so is running a fever or throwing up). And if my kids are sick I don't take them to other people's houses. I feel like I'm in the minority sometimes though!
On Thanksgiving we went to my in laws house later in the afternoon. After we had been there an hour or so asked "where is DH brother and wife" (who were coming from out if town). Well turns out sil didn't come because she was sick and DH brother was downstairs and had been throwing up "all day". Well sure enough two of my kids started puking last night.
I get that it's the time of year that getting sick is almost inevitable, however I think it's rude to not give people a heads up for a specific situation so they can choose to attend (and expose themselves) or not. I know my in laws didn't want to say anything because they thought we wouldn't come.
Maybe I am in the minority but I think it's rude and inconsiderate!
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sharlag
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Post by sharlag on Dec 1, 2015 17:02:18 GMT
I'm sorry that your two are sick!
I might not have thought to tell my guests if I were your inlaws. Posts like yours are educational for me.
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Post by myboysnme on Dec 1, 2015 17:02:27 GMT
It's the time of year when people get sick. Not everyone has something contagious and not everyone will come down with something that is.
I get your point though. But if you only go places where no one is brewing something without symptoms yet or actively sick but probably no longer contagious, you might as well just stay home. You can sit by someone in church or be in line with someone at the store who is contagious, and be around someone who is sick as a dog who isn't.
But if your inlaws know that you want to know so you can stay home, I think they can tell you, but you may want to call them ahead of time and ask if anyone is sick so you can protect yourselves.
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Post by lucyg on Dec 1, 2015 17:02:29 GMT
I have to say it wouldn't occur to me to be concerned if sick BIL was keeping to himself on another floor. This IS the time of year that all kinds of bugs are going around. I'm sorry your kids got sick but I wouldn't necessarily hold the in-laws responsible.
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Post by littlemama on Dec 1, 2015 17:02:34 GMT
I know my in laws didn't want to say anything because they thought we wouldn't come. Well, of course you wouldn't have come! For heaven's sake, if it's a head cold, that's one thing. A stomach virus is a whole different story!! |
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pridemom
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Post by pridemom on Dec 1, 2015 17:05:51 GMT
Because my daughter and I take immune suppressant drugs, we have to avoid contact with those who know they are ill. We wash our hands often,and can control that, but we can't control what's in the air. I feel for you. People just don't think.
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Post by anxiousmom on Dec 1, 2015 17:11:09 GMT
Ugh. I admit I am guilty on this one. I didn't mean it at all, but this Thanksgiving I brought typhoid anxious son along with me to the family get together. He didn't say he felt bad, just tired. He spent most of the day laying about and I didn't really think much about it-he IS a teenager on vacation after all. It seems like all they do is sleep anyway. But by the next day, he was sniffling and coughing and had an almost man-cold and I have spent the time ever since with my fingers crossed that no one else has caught it. I promise I wasn't being inconsiderate-it was more like clueless as to how he felt (bad communication on both of our parts.)  |
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Post by bonster on Dec 1, 2015 17:20:16 GMT
Oh I have inadvertently exposed other people when my kids were sick plenty of times. I think we all have. And kids do tend to downplay things expecially when they don't want to miss out on holiday functions. And yes, I realize that sick people are everywhere and this time of year you will be exposed if you leave your house.
But if I had someone coming over and knew a family member was throwing up I would give them a heads up. Maybe they think I'm totally weird for doing that!!
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ginacivey
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Post by ginacivey on Dec 1, 2015 17:21:33 GMT
the chances that your kids got sick from their uncle are about the same as they got infected by a classmate or someone at the store
and between then and now....who knows how many people they've infected
gina
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Post by auntkelly on Dec 1, 2015 17:21:49 GMT
I wouldn't have worried about going over to the inlaws house as long as the brother in law stayed in a different part of the house. I do agree though that the inlaws should have mentioned it before you arrived.
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Dec 1, 2015 17:26:01 GMT
I remember quite a few years ago I was having a Christmas Eve party and the day before DD was vomiting. Not like terrible vomiting, just once. I didn't know what to do. The collective wisdom of the peas was cancel the party.
In the end I just called everyone and said this is the deal.. it was over 24 hours since she vomited, come at your own risk.
Everyone came. One friend who made a lot of fun of me for even worrying. Well her kids got sick. ALL 4 of them. Vomiting all Christmas day!!
Its been about 6 or 7 Years I still get blamed for ruining their Christmas. So I always let people know then it is their decision.
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Post by mikklynn on Dec 1, 2015 17:27:23 GMT
OP - I agree with you! If someone in the house has a norovirus, I would absolutely call my guests and let them know. AND we'd be staying home.
Thankfully, most of our friends and family know DH cannot be exposed to illness and are very considerate.
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Post by littlemama on Dec 1, 2015 19:16:36 GMT
Ugh. I admit I am guilty on this one. I didn't mean it at all, but this Thanksgiving I brought typhoid anxious son along with me to the family get together. He didn't say he felt bad, just tired. He spent most of the day laying about and I didn't really think much about it-he IS a teenager on vacation after all. It seems like all they do is sleep anyway. But by the next day, he was sniffling and coughing and had an almost man-cold and I have spent the time ever since with my fingers crossed that no one else has caught it. I promise I wasn't being inconsiderate-it was more like clueless as to how he felt (bad communication on both of our parts.) I wouldn't say you are guilty of anything. He wasn't exhibiting "sick" symptoms, he was exhibiting "teenager" symptoms. He didn't show signs of illness until the next day. I'm going to absolve you of wrongdoing on this one (and I get PISSED when people knowingly expose others to known illnesses) |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 2, 2015 5:20:13 GMT
Usually we're on the receiving end of other people's kid's illnesses. One nephew was sick EVERY TIME we saw the kid for probably the first seven years of his life. It got to the point where we expected he would be sick when we were headed over to their house.  Our neighbors had a Christmas party a few years ago and didn't realize their little guy was coming down with something until the party was well underway and everyone was there. It was sad seeing him so miserable. A week later we all had it over Christmas and that was not fun. Personally, if we KNEW, we would stay home if someone (us or them) had been puking, had diarrhea or had a high fever. We would stay home if a kid was too little to cover coughs or sneezes or was really hacking up a lung. |
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Post by 950nancy on Dec 2, 2015 5:49:47 GMT
While I agree it is very frustrating, I can also tell you that your kids are exposed to sick kids every single day in class. That stuff just goes around and around. Hope they feel better quickly.
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Post by anniefb on Dec 2, 2015 6:52:45 GMT
Ugh I agree they should have mentioned it.
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PLurker
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Post by PLurker on Dec 2, 2015 7:03:08 GMT
I agree they should have mentioned it. Let them be the judge to come or not. You never know if someone has immune issues that they haven't shared with you and should stay clear of sick people. What may be nothing or a "simple" cold to you, could get someone with underlying health issues very ill.
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theshyone
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Post by theshyone on Dec 2, 2015 7:04:57 GMT
Am I being unreasonable here? If I have company coming over and we have a sick family member I always let people know. I either inform (so and so is getting over a cold) or cancel (so and so is running a fever or throwing up). And if my kids are sick I don't take them to other people's houses. I feel like I'm in the minority sometimes though! On Thanksgiving we went to my in laws house later in the afternoon. After we had been there an hour or so asked "where is DH brother and wife" (who were coming from out if town). Well turns out sil didn't come because she was sick and DH brother was downstairs and had been throwing up "all day". Well sure enough two of my kids started puking last night. I get that it's the time of year that getting sick is almost inevitable, however I think it's rude to not give people a heads up for a specific situation so they can choose to attend (and expose themselves) or not. I know my in laws didn't want to say anything because they thought we wouldn't come. Maybe I am in the minority but I think it's rude and inconsiderate! This is a huge pet peeve of mine. Huge. My health has a compromised immune system, on top of that I & my daughter can't take 92% of antibiotics out there. Please please don't expose me or my kids, to your crud. Please. My daughters girl guide leader called yesterday, knowing DD just had surgery for a heart monitor, saying she was coughing and yucky and would just skip the meeting, but wanted to make sure DD was going. So considerate.  |
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zella
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Post by zella on Dec 2, 2015 8:18:54 GMT
I think it is very rude and inconsiderate. And no way would I have gone there for Thanksgiving!
Sure, BIL was on another floor, but he could already have infected others in the house. Not to mention the possibility of infected surfaces. Yuck.
Did OP's kids get the virus from him? Hard to say. Time wise, it's a bit of a stretch, but even if they didn't the point is still the same; people should know better.
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Post by Really Red on Dec 2, 2015 10:41:22 GMT
I think it depends on a lot of things.
Violent illness (vomiting or otherwise horrific things) - ALWAYS
Colds? WHo is coming? I'd tell an elderly person and an immune-compromised person, but not necessarily everyone.
WHen my kids were tiny, I always warned everyone.
Sorry about your kids (said the very sick mom with a cold she caught from her DD's visit home from college)
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brandy327
Drama Llama
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Post by brandy327 on Dec 2, 2015 10:58:58 GMT
I think colds are one thing. I don't necessarily warn people if we have colds - because colds aren't that bad and it IS that time of year. But I'd be pretty upset if someone was puking and I wasn't informed. Isolated or not, I'd be upset. And had I known that someone was puking, I wouldn't have gone.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Dec 2, 2015 12:04:23 GMT
I remember the days when our mom would not isolate the sickie in our home, but cuddle them up. Her philosophy was "get them all over it at once" LOL!!  ? |
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AmeliaBloomer
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Dec 2, 2015 12:23:33 GMT
We've got people responding on this thread that family members were exposed at parties and got sick the very next day OR a whole week later. This alone illustrates how hard it can be to blame the party versus another source.
I had a friend who "blamed" me because her kid was at an event with my kid the day before my kid's chicken pox appeared, and then her kid got them the next day. But the incubation period is two weeks!
That said, I would tell guests, especially elderly people.
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johnnysmom
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Post by johnnysmom on Dec 2, 2015 13:24:02 GMT
I don't worry about colds unless it's really bad or there's a new baby or someone with a compromised immune system. But bringing sick kids (especially) to things is one of my biggest pet peeves. I'll never forget the year I showed up my parents for Christmas only to find my sister's kids carrying around puke buckets  Thankfully I only had 1 kid at the time who was old enough to be told to stay away but there were others with little kids and/or pregnant. In hindsight we should have just turned around and left. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Dec 3, 2015 2:28:48 GMT
We've got people responding on this thread that family members were exposed at parties and got sick the very next day OR a whole week later. This alone illustrates how hard it can be to blame the party versus another source. I had a friend who "blamed" me because her kid was at an event with my kid the day before my kid's chicken pox appeared, and then her kid got them the next day. But the incubation period is two weeks! That said, I would tell guests, especially elderly people. In our case, we were pretty sure it was the neighbor kid that got us all sick with whatever was going around his daycare. DD was a preschooler who was home with me all day and we rarely went anywhere. DH sees maybe four people a day at work. About 3-4 days after the party, all three of us started feeling off and by Christmas a couple days later we were all totally miserable. So could we have picked it up somewhere else? Maybe. But I doubt we would have ALL gotten sick at the same time with the same thing if only one of us caught it from somewhere else. Usually when one of us gets something, if the others do end up getting it, the onset is staggered by a few days. |
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Post by freecharlie on Dec 3, 2015 2:38:37 GMT
I remember the days when our mom would not isolate the sickie in our home, but cuddle them up. Her philosophy was "get them all over it at once" LOL!! ? I've never isolated my kids when they are sick |
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Post by scrapperal on Dec 3, 2015 5:04:10 GMT
I'll validate you! One good thing about Facebook is sometimes relatives will comment that they or their kids are sick, then I'm forewarned and can bow out ahead of time.
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Post by RiverIsis on Dec 3, 2015 5:22:42 GMT
We've got people responding on this thread that family members were exposed at parties and got sick the very next day OR a whole week later. This alone illustrates how hard it can be to blame the party versus another source. I had a friend who "blamed" me because her kid was at an event with my kid the day before my kid's chicken pox appeared, and then her kid got them the next day. But the incubation period is two weeks! That said, I would tell guests, especially elderly people. When I'm in public I assume everyone is sick. Honestly 15 odd years ago I got chicken pox whilst living in England. I could self certificate the first week off. I had to go to the GP for a sick certificate after that. The only way I could get to the GP was on Public Transport (it was too far for me to walk whilst sick - normally I did walk it) and then I had to sit in the waiting area with everyone else. Oh and add to that I worked in a Hospital and didn't know I had them until I go home and found them on my torso...oh joys! |
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Our neighbors had a Christmas party a few years ago and didn't realize their little guy was coming down with something until the party was well underway and everyone was there. It was sad seeing him so miserable. A week later we all had it over Christmas and that was not fun. 
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