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Post by drawkcab on Jul 23, 2014 1:28:06 GMT
just typing that out made me giggle a little. how do i get away from feeling so blah and find a zest for living? i'm not depressed, btdt, just kind of meh about it all. i want to wake up ready to enjoy the day and go to sleep tired from having had a great day. i've tried counseling and it helped for a bit. i've volunteered and that helped some too. i feel like i'm grasping at the ring on the monkey bars and just missing the next one only to fall down. it's the getting up and starting again that's getting old, not the monkey bars. how do i wake up and really live?
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scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Jul 23, 2014 1:49:53 GMT
Funny you post this today. As I was running to the gym I thought "I think I hate my life." There's nothing about it that's bad; I have plenty to be thankful for, but it's just the same thing day in/day out. I feel like I'm living in the movie Groundhog Day.
So, when you figure out the secret come back and share.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 23, 2014 1:52:19 GMT
It sounds like you're trying the right stuff - counseling and volunteering. It might sound simplistic; but, keep taking it one day at a time. Skydiving, glassblowing, knife throwing, Special Olympics, Boys & Girls Club, stand up comedy. I hope you find what you're looking for. Sending positive vibes your way.
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Post by drawkcab on Jul 23, 2014 2:07:50 GMT
thank you both for responding! it's nice to know, and sad at the same time, that i'm not alone. scorpeao - groundhog day is a perfect description! if i find anything that helps, i'll be sure to let you know, or better yet, when! gotta say eastcoastpea, i did get a giggle at of your suggestions. spreading my wings and learning something new sounds like a great plan and i really appreciate the point of looking beyond what keeps me firmly planted on the ground!
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Post by Ryann on Jul 23, 2014 2:15:51 GMT
My suggestion would be to do something outside of your comfort zone every day. It could be as simple as striking up a conversation with someone next to you in line or join a meet-up/group for a new hobby/experience. I think doing things that are "hard" for you (general you) and going outside your comfort zone can lead to personal growth. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
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Post by Kate * on Jul 23, 2014 4:04:27 GMT
Come have a vacation in the Caribbean. Lots to do, gotta plan your events for every single day, go, go, go, and no blah, blah, blah.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 23, 2014 9:19:32 GMT
Please be sure to let us know what you try. I'm sure there are plenty of people who would benefit from hearing your experiences.
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Post by drawkcab on Jul 23, 2014 14:22:01 GMT
wow, one thing out of my comfort zone every day! this almost sounds like a challenge. maybe if i kept a list of how i stepped out along with a gratitude list, daily, it would help. looking back on all that i have that appreciate and value, and did to become more alive would be just the ticket
katie,katie,katie - i think that is part of my problem, i have the itch to travel and am not able to right now. maybe it's a bucket list or 101 things in 1001 days would help.
thank you all for brainstorming with me! i'm looking at it that way, and just taking the items for what they are and not toss them aside out of habit.
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Post by snappinsami on Jul 23, 2014 14:42:28 GMT
I think we all go through that at one point or another. You're definitely not alone. I love the idea of going outside of your comfort zone - and yes, it can be something of a challenge to look forward to! It doesn't have to be a big thing. It could be just exercising every day (which should naturally help you be happier), striking up a conversation (however brief) with a stranger and making them smile, anything. Something to make you feel good about yourself. A daily random act of kindness. As for not being able to travel, nobody says you have to get on a plane to have adventures. My mother has spent her entire life living as if she's a tourist in her own town. Find new museums to visit, plays or concerts to go to, just things to do where you live that you've never done before. Meh-dom will pass. I promise!
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Post by apeacalledliz on Jul 23, 2014 15:24:25 GMT
I for the most part enjoy life... even when things are pretty shitty I find something to bring me moments of joy and happiness or at the very least gratefulness.
I make the decision... consciously... to be present during even the mundane day to day shit. When I'm cleaning I listen to music that makes me happy, when I have to drive kids all over the damn state at god awful early morning hours I appreciate the views, the way the sunlight filters through the trees or the fog hanging over the river, when I have to work to meet a deadline I make it race against myself to see how quickly I can get it done and off to my clients(make it a game). I recently challenged myself not to "whine or complain" for 24 hours, I tried to even keep those types of thoughts out of my head, it was harder than I thought but it certainly made the day go smoother. The other thing I do, because I can get in a rut and not want to break routine or break out of something I am doing, I say "yes"... I say yes to invitations to parties that maybe I am not 100% sure about, I say yes to taking the kids to the beach even though I have other things I could be doing, I say yes to new experiences even when I know they will make me uncomfortable. I ask myself in 1 year or even 1 month am I going to be glad I stayed home and cleaned the bathrooms or sat on my butt and watched TV or will I be happy I said "yes" to FILL IN THE BLANK.
And that makes me sound like a f'ing Pollyanna and truly I am anything but... but I do enjoy life and all that it entails and I think that those few things are a good part of my enjoyment.
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Post by drawkcab on Jul 23, 2014 18:44:00 GMT
meh-dom --- love it snappinsami. i think i'll take up being a tourist locally!
apeacalledliz - i believe you're on the right track. just with getting the thoughts out there and starting to look at what i am grateful for has helped boost my mood. i'm happy to be a pollyanna with you!
i remember someone last year doing a post a day about what they are grateful for (but I wouldn't have if you all hadn't helped me get there! thanks!) i'm thinking of doing that in november for thanksgiving and coming up with a different thing, even if i keep it to myself, for each month to get me looking at things not just dwelling. and to start i've taken friday off on vacation to do anything i want! no idea what that is yet, but i'll make the best of it!
thank you all!
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Post by annabella on Jul 23, 2014 18:46:22 GMT
Oprah says to keep a daily gratitude journal. I use Grateful160 it sends me a daily email where I write down small things I was thankful for that day. Then at the end of the week I get an email recap of my week.
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RosieKat
Drama Llama
PeaJect #12
Posts: 5,538
Jun 25, 2014 19:28:04 GMT
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Post by RosieKat on Jul 23, 2014 18:54:20 GMT
Yes, I think a lot of us relate to GDS (that's what we call it here - Groundhog Day Syndrome). When I get to where you are (realizing I have it and I want to change it), one of the best self-help things I can do is change some things around. It might be something mundane, like finding some new recipes instead of the old ones, or it can be something big. I do a lot of volunteer work, and I've just had three beautiful opportunities drop in my lap. I'm not able to take on all of them, but this is the kind of thing I sometimes need. I figure there are so many worthwhile volunteer things I can do that if I need a change in my life, that's a good place area for me to examine. There are a lot of things in my life that are very hard and frustrating and are not things I can change. So I try hard to find the things that *are* wonderful and should be kept, or things that I *do* have control over. I'm generally a pretty positive person, but sometimes the crap just overwhelms me, like yesterday. So I let yesterday go, whined a bit, and then started over again today. That's where Groundhog Day can be a good thing - I always have another chance. The Friday you're taking off can be a great thing, too. Don't pressure yourself to make it awesome, either. If you want to sleep in, take a nice bubble bath, and laze around, that can be fine - as long as you CHOOSE to do it, and don't just DEFAULT to it.
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Post by mikklynn on Jul 23, 2014 20:06:54 GMT
I love what apeacalledliz said.
I would say - do you take time EVERY day to do something for yourself? Sit and savor a cup of coffee, do a craft you enjoy, read a book, something? It's so easy to go to work and take care of everyone else, but not ourselves.
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Judy26
Pearl Clutcher
MOTFY Bitchy Nursemaid
Posts: 2,971
Location: NW PA
Jun 25, 2014 23:50:38 GMT
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Post by Judy26 on Jul 23, 2014 20:18:58 GMT
I get like this frequently. I wonder when is it my turn. I have raised my kids and they are off doing new things. DH is retired and spends his days at our river cottage fishing, gardening, hanging with his friends. I am working two jobs and cooking and cleaning. I would love to go on vacation or travel but if I did who would step in and be the responsible one? I think about doing the one new thing, etc. but to be honest I'm tired. I keep thinking there will soon be a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope I'm right.
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523
Jun 27, 2014 19:58:15 GMT
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Post by mlana on Jul 24, 2014 1:24:53 GMT
I suffered through a really bad period of depression in late 2010/early 2011. It took a lot for me to climb out and, when I did, I had a huge mess to clean up. DH and DD had done the best they could to keep the family and business going, but there were things they hadn't known to do that went undone. It was expensive and time consuming to get back on track. I spent most of of the time from 2011 to 2013 just digging, trying to get us out of the mess my being ill had caused. Not only was there financial fallout from my depression, but there were physical problems, too. I had spent almost 6 months getting out of bed only for the most necessary of necessities, so my legs, feet, and back were in terrible shape. It was months before I could go up or down the stairs without having to hold tight and pray hard. The months between Spring 2011 and Fall 2013 seemed like I was on a treadmill, doing the same thing over and over everyday. Very busy, but I wasn't doing anything worth remembering.
In fall 2013, DD moved on to college, and I suddenly had time to think about what DH and I were going to do with the rest of our lives. No money, but time. DH seemed content to stay still and diabetic in his computer chair in front of his tv and computer. He saw nothing wrong with us being dependent on DD for help with basic household chores. I was appalled! I didn't want my child feeling like she had to come home often just to keep her parents from living like someone on a bad reality show.
I made the decision to get stronger, to lose weight, to regain my independence. I'm not going to be poor forever, even though it seems like it. LOL When I get the opportunity to travel, I want to be ready to take it. DD is planning on going to China for at least one semester and maybe for a whole year; I was so thrilled when she asked if I would come and see her if she went. You bet your sweet Bippy I'm going! January 1, 2014, started the year of Marcy!!! I am taking care of ME this year! I am eating right, moving ALOT, getting out more. I had my garden fenced in this year, something I have wanted to do for years, and I try to spend at least 2 hours in it a day, usually 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening, but at least 2 hours a day. I have been to the dr for the health issues I am having and we have a plan in place to help me get strong and better. He seemed impressed when I told him I had lost 35 lbs since 1/1/14 and he told me he would do anything in his power to help me!
So, if your life seems Groundhogish, change it! Maybe you can't go to China this year, but you can get prepared so when you have the opportunity to go, you can. Walk, read up on where you want to go, learn a new language, learn to cook authentic food from where you're interested in traveling. If your spouse doesn't want to get with the program, make your own plans. I'm learning that I have different goals for my later years than my DH. He wants to sit in his office and watch soccer, I want get on the field and play. LOL
Marcy
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Post by Flibbertigibbet on Jul 24, 2014 1:45:01 GMT
I make really small changes by ordering some thing different on the menu, taking a different route to work or the store, visiting a new part of town....anything out of the ordinary. I also started wearing bright colors. I know it sounds weird, but I found that I felt felt happier in more colorful clothes.
Hope you figure it out.
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