Do teachers expect ....?

Are you going to be there for the test? I think that parents should be available to help with small things like if a child is struggling with one concept, but sit there and coach through the whole thing? Crap no. The kid needs to be able to do the assignment. Like I tell the kids when I sub, I already passed middle school, it's their job to do the work.

I was a Jr High math teacher and I assumed the kids were doing homework on their own with some help from parents if needed. I figured it was my job to make sure they knew the material so I stayed after school almost everyday for study sessions.

I teach 6th grade math and I expect the kids to be able to do the work. I teach in an elementary, so I have a lot more class time than he teachers in our middle school. The middle school teachers have tutorial times every morning before school and every afternoon after school. They expect any student struggling to show up to tutorials for extra help.

Yes, I expect kids to try and do their homework on their own but have no problem with them asking parents/siblings etc for help if needed. They are also encouraged to get online and look for help if they are stuck and have no one to help them. At the same time, I do not want them spinning their wheels spending hours trying to do something that they have no clue about.

Also, they should come in for help before school if they don't understand something.

This is my philosophy about homework as well.  Sometimes it helps to have someone go over a concept in a different way than the teacher teaches it.  DS had an entire math class (Algebra 2) where the kids would solve a problem, then the teacher would ask who solved it a different way.  He loved that and now tutors students with the same ideas.  He's a college freshman and an engineering major, taking a sophomore level Calc class.  Even he goes to the math lab for sticky problems.  I don't think asking a parent for help is any different than paying someone for help.  The key is that the parent shouldn't DO the work, but explain the process.

Then there are things like writing.  DS went to a HS where the teachers had 160-180 students per day, with an odd/even schedule.  So that meant that at any given time, they had 350 ish students to teach, papers to correct, tests to grade.  It just isn't possible to give that many students advanced help. DS was a horrible writer until his senior year.  He had the grammar down, but just couldn't compose an essay to explained his point of view well.  We worked on well over 20 essays last year and his writing has improved 10 fold.  It went from me marking every error on the first essay to telling him he had 2 words misspelled and paragraph 3 needs a sentence connecting 2 ideas by the end.  He reported today that he got a 94 on his theology paper, so he got it somewhere along the way.  He just needed help getting there.

I expect the boy to do 100% of the work himself. Right up until he can't, then he is welcome to ask for help from whatever source is available. Me? I stopped being able to help with math around 7th grade, but in the proofreading I am THE go to person in the house.

But I think there is a huge difference between asking for help and having some one else do the homework for you.

For us, it is more like a socratic method of learning rather than me telling them what's what. If one of the boys asks for help, there is discussion, sometimes consultations with other people or the internet, but at no point do I 'help' to the point of doing the work for them. Last semester the older boy and I had a discussion by text with him asking for clarification about a period of Chinese history that I am familiar with (my degree is in Asian History.) 

By middle school, I did expect the kid to be driving the bus not me. Beyond reminding the boys to do their homework, I wasn't involved at all unless asked (and didn't think I should have been.)

My dd struggles with math. She can get something in class and be clueless two hours later. It is her job to do the homework. It is my job as a parent to prepare her for adulthood. If that means learning statistics do I can teach it to her in the evening, so she can earn her diploma, I will

As a teacher I expect kids to do their own work. If they don't understand something and need to talk it out with someone else, why do I care? The goal is for them to learn.

I do think math homework is very different than homework in other subjects. Kids need the practice.

Yes, middle school teachers expect the kids to do it on their own. My friends who are teachers despise the clingy parents who can't let their kids go and do things on their own. My friends are trying to teach their students to survive school and succeed... but mommy and daddy (though mostly mommy) can't let go and won't let their kids do it on their own.

In the circles I travel, kids are expected to be self-sufficient and self-advocating by high school (grade 9) and parents don't intervene at all past grade 11. That my friends are seeing this shift to over-parent involvement concerns them greatly.

Generally, yes, I expect homework to be a solo project at a certain age. That said, last year was the year from hell for my then 8th grader's math (algebra). The teacher was awful and would assign work that she hadn't taught yet. Every night. So, DS would ask DH for help, DH would do a math lesson, DS would do his homework and then he would help the other kids in his class via skype. He got a A in the class and the teacher was fired due to numerous parent complaints.

Thankfully dh could help ds. If not, I probably would have taken him to the library for free tutoring or something.

If my kids ask for help, I reteach the concept and give them more problems to go through the problem-solving process. LOL That makes them think twice before asking. I don't think there was anything DH or I couldn't help with. DD was asking her dad for help through college. He's good at putting something into context.

OP Are you talking about walking your kid through their homework every day? I have a friend who did that with her daughter (edited/wrote all her papers and answers, checked over all her math problems) all the way through high school. Daughter is having a rough time in college, and still sends her papers to mom for "editing."

We've had both kids' friends come over for chemistry and calculus tutoring for a long time. Sunday afternoon open tutoring session with cookies. Honestly, they seem to learn best when they are teaching each other. Nothing like having to teach it to your partner to learn a lesson.

The MS/HS teachers all stay after for about 45 minutes every day after school with open doors. Kids can drop in to do homework, ask for extra help, get a review for a test, or take a makeup quiz. Pretty much all the students take advantage of it some time or another. I have to give kudos to the teachers and administration for having that in the contract.

It's part of growing up to learn how to find the resources you need to solve problems. By the time they finish high school, they should be capable independent work.