I am so angry at these parents of a child in my class

That does sound very frustrating and poor B. but I wonder if the parents truly understood about the hearing aids etc...given that English isn't their first language and neither sound especially fluent in it. I know how hard it is to really take in everything at a doctor's appointment while juggling a little one especially when you're in shock over the news and to add in language (and possibly cultural) differences as well -I'm sure that didn't help.

Prayers that B gets the help he needs

I can certainly understand your anger and frustration. I know you are ranting. However, I wouldn't be so quick to judge the parents. As a parent of a neurologically compromised child who had to wear glasses at 6 months, getting an infant to wear something like glasses and hearing aids is very, very hard to do. My DD could take her glasses off and chuck them across the room faster than anything. I couldn't do anything to positive reinforce her keeping her glasses on. Perhaps the parents had the same experience and just gave up. Now their child is extremely sensitive (sensory integration problems is common with people on the spectrum) and it is even harder.

Since you have the child in a school situation I would, 1. make sure the hearing aids are fitting right (size, etc.) and then 2. Set up a situation for positive reinforcement. For example, make it a big deal to put the hearing aids on and show him in the mirror how "handsome" he looks. Have something like Fruit Loops (or some other easy "treat") and give him a reinforcement. If he goes to grab them off, then gently say "No". You know how to do all of this. You will probably have to have someone constantly on him for about a week.

Good luck with this. As I said earlier, I can certainly understand your anger and frustration. It is hard when you see this child as having some problems and you are trying to give him every advantage you can to minimize them. Thanks for being a caring person.

It is so sad that he has missed so much learning in the past 2 1/2 years that he can never get back.

If the parents didn't care B wouldn't have the hearing aids in the backpack. They have packed them. They are there for his/your use. In their eyes you are one of the experts on children and it is up to you how you help.

Except who knows how good their instruction was on how to use them, how to acclimate him to them, and so on? Those things can be very challenging to any parent and when there's a language barrier, well, it can become much worse. Geez, my mom is in her 70s and has had a hearing aid for years and she needs help with it sometimes. It's not like they are simple, infallible devices.

My son goes to a school where about half the students come from non-English speaking homes. It has really opened my eyes to how difficult it is for non-English speakers to navigate routine things that many of us take for granted.

I actually feel very sad for the child and sympathy for the parents. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to have all their challenges. Certainly it can't be easy to get a 3 year old to wear hearing aids. But on the flip side, for the child's well being, it is a challenge they must rise up and meet. I hope you have the patience and the determination to help with this. This child needs you.  And you sound to me like a very caring teacher. Good luck to you!

The difference is that you were given the diagnosis in your native tongue, you are educated and capable of looking into things further. You also have a job. Which is likely created a situation for you in which you are more stable. You don't know anything about this family and judging them sure as hell isn't going to help them or their child. 



Wait what? This is nonsense. You just said they struggle to communicate and don't speak English. What on earth? If it is so important what have you done to learn their language or find someone who does to help you communicate better with them? You know. For their child's well being.

This is both true and not - a little unnecessarily pessimistic. Many children have late diagnosed hearing loss or receive hearing aids after some years of living with limited or no hearing at all, and are able to make up for lost time. It is certainly a disadvantage, and I'm not arguing they shouldn't have had the child wearing his hearing aids all along, but the child's delay is not irretrievable. The child will probably need some additional support and intervention but certainly has the potential to make up much if not all of the lost ground.

I assume Babies Can't Wait is an early intervention - we have the same thing, it's just called by a different name - this child has now been flagged and identified and that is very important. If that program works like our Infant and Toddler Connection, it also means that the parents have been involved in the process and consented to the child's evaluation. 

What I get from all this is a family that probably really doesn't understand how and why to use their child's hearing aids, are probably working with information given to them in a language they don't speak fluently, and may or may not have any knowledge of developmental issues and what to do next. I work with a largely ESOL population and this is incredibly, incredibly common. 

We have seen many 2's and 3's children come into our school with developmental, language, and social delays and flourish by the end of 4's. 

I find that many of our ESOL parents, if they don't understand what you've said, they smile and nod and say "Yes, okay". If you don't know that's what they're doing, you might think they understand when they don't. It's very common. The child is enrolled in preschool and has been identified for early intervention. That doesn't read as apathy or intentional disadvantaging to me - it is either a parent who is a little clueless, a little in denial, or working with a language barrier. Or possibly all three, which is super common. 

This is exactly what happens, in some cases, yes. I have found with our ESOL population at my school that most of them don't pursue something they don't understand because they don't want to be a bother. We finally hired a staff member who speaks the primary non-English language in our school, and one of her jobs with us is to help deal with the language barrier to mitigate the "smile and nod" phenomenon. This is one of the most serious barriers to quality of life living in a place where you don't yet speak the language fluently enough to get by.

If B needed glasses would his parents follow the same course they have about the hearing aids?  I am hearing impaired and have worn aids for 30 or so years.  I don't get the 'stigma' about hearing loss or deficiency.  It's no different than any other medical issue.  Are people embarrassed to have a lack of hearing?  Then them must be embarrassed if they have diabetes.  All those people who have lived through heart attacks must be cringing with embarrassment.  

I would ask that the hearing aids be brought to the school so I could help him with them.  They may need to be replaced with a different set.

I understand what you are saying. However, I have a nephew that has had hearing aids since he was 2. He is now 7 and it can still be difficult to get him to wear them. He also loses them easily and there are super expensive. He does wear them but needs regular reminders. I imagine it would be difficult to get a baby to keep them in. 

My FIL had a devil of a time with his hearing aids.  He went to the doctor more times than I can tell you because for some reason, the use of them caused him physical issues with his ears.  So he needed them, he'd use them, and then he'd develop an issue with the ear, so he'd have to stop using one until it cleared up.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

BUT, in this case, I imagine that it has much more to do with how incredibly difficult it can be to keep an infant/young child in any type of medical device, particularly if the child is on the spectrum.   Clothing can be difficult for some kids.   Socks used to be a major issue for one boy I cared for.  Even when all of his socks were replaced with the one brand & style he would tolerate, getting them on him in a way that felt right to him was a daily chore.  Sometimes more than once a day. 

And one baby I cared for had leg braces to wear at night, and you would be amazed how many times a baby can manage to get those things off just from wiggling and pulling/pushing his legs.  He didn't use his hands to remove them because he wasn't at that developmental point yet, but man alive, we always had to go check him after he fell asleep to see if they were still on.