|
Post by drawkcab on Dec 8, 2015 18:38:55 GMT
Have you seen mine, it's missing.
I'm really trying to focus on the positive, purposely looking for things to be grateful for, and appreciating what I have. They help day to day, but the zest, umph, sparkle of the holiday is lost on me. I'm hoping it's just for now, not forever.
My dad is in hospice..... the positive is he's not in pain... but it still hurts me. We've got family members who want everything to go their way and others that go along with them.... the positive here is we get to choose to participate or not. All our kids are grown and in long term relationships, and have multiple sides of both families to spend time with so we don't get to see them or the grands very much.... the positive is they are all in long term relationships and are happy and healthy.
I'm scaling back all that I normally do. No baking cookies, decorating simply, and cutting way back on the gifts. I'm trying to do what is right for me, and not go overboard to try to please others. This is huge for me which makes me think this all might be part of a process. The holidays are feeling like a chore still.
Any suggestions of how to get back that ho, ho, ho.... jolly old St Nick spirit?
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 11, 2024 1:14:10 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2015 18:42:42 GMT
All I have are hugs. Holidays are hard. Life isn't a Christmas card...hang in there.
|
|
valincal
Drama Llama
Southern Alberta
Posts: 5,651
Jun 27, 2014 2:21:22 GMT
|
Post by valincal on Dec 8, 2015 18:51:40 GMT
Hugs...I really get it. I was decorating my tree last night and got a major case of the bah humbugs. I blurted out to my hubby "I want to go away for Christmas from now on!" He looked at me like I had ten heads, lol! My kids are older now too and I'm scaling back the baking and decorating. It just doesn't feel the same but it's the way it is. I have so much to be grateful for so I need to kick that gloom to the curb. I do feel better today. Put on your favorite Christmas music while you're baking and decorating, and sing along. Try to get other family members involved in the holiday planning. Take some time to do something special for yourself. Sending Christmas cheer your way.
|
|
|
Post by drawkcab on Dec 8, 2015 19:05:08 GMT
Hugs right back at you both! and anyone feeling the same!
Valincal - I may be seeing you on one of your trips. i asked and he agreed that we get to take a trip for either Thanksgiving or Christmas each year starting next year. I don't live close to my family so that's where we'll probably go at least to begin with. This way I'll only have to deal with the controlling folks once a year.
skipping_stones - Yep, my life isn't a Christmas Card, that's a great way to put it, thank you.
This adult thing isn't easy.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 11, 2024 1:14:10 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2015 19:21:16 GMT
I get it. I usually love the holiday season, but this year I'm like Eh.. So much has changed. My mom passed about 5 years ago, and she was really the glue the held us together. Then family started moving away, so it's really just a few of us now, which doesn't make for a big celebration. Add to that that my kid is the youngest in the family (almost 14) so the excitement of little kids anticipating Santa is gone. I'm actually looking forward to the holidays being over, even though I'm excited to give my son a nice Christmas, that's about all I'm looking forward to. We used to have a couple different holiday parties with extended family, but that has ended, since no on else is really around. I work full time from home now, so no work parties. I used to enjoy decorating and hosting, etc, but it doesn't seem as fun to decorate if only a few of us will see it. I've tried listening to Christmas music, which I usually love, but it's not doing much for me this year. Bah humbug
|
|
|
Post by hdoublej on Dec 8, 2015 19:53:58 GMT
This was me last year. I just didn't feel it no matter what I did. This year, I'm feeling much better. Not sure why the change but I'm really looking forward to Christmas! Just wanted to tell you that so you know it isn't forever. I do get it though. Sometimes, with all the drama in DH's family, the holidays are just more than I can handle.
|
|
|
Post by scrapqueen01 on Dec 8, 2015 20:02:39 GMT
I think your holiday spirit and mine are hiding together. Dh was laid off from his job in August. He is working but it's through a temp agency so I'm worried and filled with anxiety about that. I admit that I'm dealing with depression too. I have an 11 dd so I have to do my best to be cheerful. She helped me get the Christmas dishes out and put lights on the tree. I have to participate in various church activities so hopefully my holiday spirit will at least wave at me from time to time.
|
|
|
Post by mikklynn on Dec 8, 2015 21:11:50 GMT
I think we all have those times in our life. Some holidays are just harder than others.
For me, attending a Christmas music event of any kind helps.
I also think it's OK to say this year I am taking it easy.
I'm sorry your father is in hospice. Hugs, pea friend.
|
|
|
Post by nyxish on Dec 8, 2015 21:15:28 GMT
i'm skipping the holidays this year. It's been really the worst year of my life and i am still realing and miserable. It's stressful and painful to be around people, and i am not going to subject others to....me, right now.
i think everyone has their ebbs and flows, just do what is meaningful to you and don't sweat if it's less - or just different - than you usually do.
|
|
|
Post by jenjie on Dec 8, 2015 21:27:52 GMT
I'm with you. I love Christmas. This year I am not up for the music and the shopping and the celebrating. And with your dad on hospice it's no wonder you aren't feeling it either. Do what works for you.
For me personally, I love what Christmas is supposed to represent - the birth of my Savior. I really have to remind myself that without Christmas there would be no Immanuel - God with us. And I really really need God with us.
I'm trying to make the best of the holiday for the sake of my kids. We wil do some stuff but not everything.
Hugs to you.
|
|
Mystie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,299
Jun 25, 2014 19:53:37 GMT
|
Post by Mystie on Dec 8, 2015 22:04:58 GMT
Well, first of all, I want to give you a virtual hug and say that the "holiday spirit" can be overrated. Some years you can't switch it on just because the calendar says it's December, and that's okay.
I take Christmas on a year by year basis. Some years I want to do certain things and some years I just do not. And that's okay, too.
The one suggestion I have is something that helped salvage a few Christmas seasons for me, and that was to get out of the house and look for different things to do. There are tons of holiday plays and productions going on, or if you want something free, tons of churches have holiday concerts and events. For me, it was helpful to get out, rub shoulders with people (in a NON-shopping situation!) and enjoy something different and beautiful. We don't have kids, so a lot of the things that people do in December, we don't do. So we had to look for our fun sometimes. It can make you feel better about the things that aren't the way you would like them to be.
|
|
|
Post by emelle64 on Dec 9, 2015 2:39:28 GMT
I can so totally relate drawkcab and in fact, thought of starting a similar thread. This was a hard year for me and somehow everything about Christmas seems trite and superficial this year. I just don't have it in me to "play along" so to speak. I don't have any advice for you except that you can only do what you can do. And, if there are things that don't happen then so be it.
Hugs to you.
Emelle
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Dec 9, 2015 2:52:05 GMT
Give yourself a break this year. Get through it. My MIL was given a few months to live and I can see how painful it is for my husband. No pressure to make anything picture perfect.
|
|
|
Post by anxiousmom on Dec 9, 2015 3:29:01 GMT
For various reasons, my Christmas spirit has flown the coop too. I have zero desire to do anything-decorate, celebrate at parties, whatever.
I figure I will just muddle along as best as I feel. I put up a tiny table top tree and called it a day. I think my son is a little disappointed, but he is just too sweet to say anything. I keep saying that tomorrow I will throw out another decoration or something, but tomorrow keeps becoming yesterday and I still haven't done it. Maybe tomorrow...
Be okay with where you are. Christmas isn't Norman Rockwell for most people, we just think it is. I am pretty sure most of us do the best we can with what we have and it all works out in the end...
|
|
Grom Pea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,944
Jun 27, 2014 0:21:07 GMT
|
Post by Grom Pea on Dec 9, 2015 4:25:20 GMT
Every year doesn't have to be perfect, but I know what got me into the Christmas spirit was watching kids go sit on Santa 's lap at a party. Granted I knew the majority of the kids but some babies cried and Santa said it was a Christmas tradition, and some kids were shy and didn't want to sit on his lap, but there was one adorable girl who was just so excited she had that Christmas sparkle and a huge grin and when she sat on his lap she shook her arms and legs and squealed with delight, it reminded me of Shirley temple, it was the most adorable visit with Santa ever! Even though it wasn't my own child, it warmed my heart and I'm excited for Christmas. I hope you find a moment like this of your own to enjoy this season, but if not it's perfectly fine, I know some years the biggest thing I've done on Christmas was drop off someone at the airport, so not every year has to be a perfect snowy Christmas.
|
|
|
Post by alexa11 on Dec 9, 2015 4:56:42 GMT
I know exactly what you mean. There have been so many changes for me this year- just not feeling it. I need to get over it quickly because Christmas Eve is at my house. I will be glad when it's the middle of January. So sorry about your dad.
|
|
|
Post by scrapsuzy on Dec 9, 2015 5:47:51 GMT
Mine was missing last year. We had sold our house, then dh shocked me by announcing he wanted to separate, so I was newly in a much smaller space, by myself. Oh, and my bil had died earlier in the year, and I'd had unexpected surgery in early November with complications in early December.
I was partway into the deepest funk I'd ever been in.
But it's better this year. Dh & I are still separated, and I'm still in the condo without as much space for my decorations, but I'm more used to it. My general health is actually worse than it was last year, and I live knowing that things could change quickly with my liver disease and I may not be here next year. I mean, we all know that, but it has really been brought home to me.
So while my decorating is simpler (the cards from the Peas being a large part of it!), and I'm only doing a tree because I feel I have to, I'm feeling it more. I've done several holiday outings with my grandkids, who are really now at an age to "get" the magic of the season.
All I can say is, hang in there. Things do get better than this.
|
|
|
Post by mymindseyedpea on Dec 9, 2015 7:16:36 GMT
I don't feel it much either but I'm doing what I can to keep as much of the holidays alive as I can. We might just get gifts for dd this year off SO's work perks site. I'm making the rest of the gifts. I follow astrology and gathering up as much Christmasy energy I can to soften the harsh astrological energies going on right now. I'm watching many Christmas movies ( thank you abc family, Hallmark and Up ) And working on the gifts I'm making. I love to share, express and gift creativity so I'm going to create a page on fb with some gift ideas that others may choose to make. And that seems to be peeking out my Christmas spirit. That may I can give more gifts out than just the few I'm making for my family. I launch it on the new moon
|
|
|
Post by gailoh on Dec 9, 2015 12:56:44 GMT
I could have written this...its been this way all year an this year went by so fast. Feeling sad mad and fearful...war, animal abuse Isis and the country going to pot...it all has me down.
To know there are so many of us in the same feelings just puts a stamp of "yep, I feel the same way"
The marketing put things out with Halloween, hate that...commercials...hate that ...all to soon.
And looking down at this "my moms body" doesn't help and I am at fault that I got this way in the first place. Even got on a FitBit and started out good then the foot started again and that slowed me way down...no golden years in getting old...aches pains and loneliness...
Christmas has bothered me for the past few years...I use to put on a good one sort of speaking but not anymore with kids grown and family members dying...is this what old is like?
Sorry to come here and sound off Ladies...I just feel so down ,depressed and lonely...my hubby is great and our son. Daughters are married and have to much going on in their lives and I use to be more important then I am now to them...it isn't feeling sorry for myself as much as I am used up...
Hugs to you all...
|
|
|
Post by sarahyoo72 on Dec 9, 2015 13:11:27 GMT
I get it.
The last 6 months have been tough. I've had health issues, and then my Dad passed away in September. I have surgery next week, and my Mum arrives the next day to spend Christmas and New Year over here. I just feel wiped out. I'm going through the motions, but my heart is not in it. I've removed myself from activities I usually do, mainly because I don't have the energy to do them. I'm looking forward to the new year, with a healthier me and more energy.
|
|
|
Post by gailoh on Dec 9, 2015 13:18:48 GMT
sarahyoo72...you said it...no energy..i always feel tired and blood work says I am fine...always feel tired...
Glad we can come here and say what we really feel...hugs everyone
|
|
desertgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,646
Jun 26, 2014 15:58:05 GMT
|
Post by desertgirl on Dec 9, 2015 13:29:34 GMT
Volunteering helps. We have several homeless shelters here that always need people. Maybe your spirit would get a boost from visiting a nursing home and singing. I think we find our spirit by helping others find theirs, too.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 11, 2024 1:14:10 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2015 13:38:34 GMT
I'm so sorry and I do understand. I did the holiday decorating yesterday, my Mum said the tree looked lovely and that Dad would have said so too, I spent the next ten minutes hiding in the bathroom crying! My husband went home on Tuesday and I miss him, Christmas seems to be a very sad affair this year.
|
|
|
Post by drawkcab on Dec 10, 2015 2:35:56 GMT
If all our "spirits" are out partying and magically show up, it would be wonderful. The party I can only imagine. All of the peas are great and so supportive. My spirit isn't back, but it snuck up a little on me since I wrote the post.
I'm sad that so many of us have the blahs... .and grateful that you're all here to remind me what really is important.
Thank you Peas! Hugs all around!
|
|
perumbula
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,439
Location: Idaho
Jun 26, 2014 18:51:17 GMT
|
Post by perumbula on Dec 10, 2015 4:27:51 GMT
I"m not a fan of holidays at any time of year. there are so many expectations (and yes, some of those expectations are things I put on myself) and people who want things from me. Family get togethers are stressful for me as well. I like just living every day stuff without all the extras. I know this makes me a spoil sport to a lot of people, but oh well. I'm ok with it. I don't need holidays to find the good in my life.
Life changes and maybe it's just a matter of finding new traditions for you. I"m sure you're feeling some grief right now about your dad and that's affecting you too. Bake some cookies for your neighbors, go look at Christmas lights, do something Christmasy. If it helps you feel the spirit, great. if not. That's fine too. Trying to force a feeling will only backfire.
|
|