loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,662
Jun 26, 2014 16:15:45 GMT
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Post by loco coco on Jul 24, 2014 18:37:40 GMT
hmmm its hard to say bc every situation is so different, I would want to know why
in our situation we had talked about rings a year prior and I showed him a ring I loved in a magazine. When he proposed it was THAT ring, I was shocked, surprised, I cried so hard that he remembered and planned! He is SO not a planner!! It was the cherry on top for me so yes I am glad he proposed with a ring
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Post by maryland on Jul 24, 2014 18:39:13 GMT
I am probably in the minority. I got an engagement ring after we were married 12 yrs. I could care less about getting a ring, I just wanted to be married to him. We wanted to get on with our life, buy a house, have kids. I didn't want to wait until we could afford a ring to get engaged.
It was a wonderful surprise when he got me an "engagement" ring for my birthday 7 yrs. ago. I had no idea, but we could afford one and I love it. It was worth waiting for. He got me a new wedding ring to match the engagement ring for my next birthday.
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Post by 2peafaithful on Jul 24, 2014 18:42:14 GMT
If I loved him I would marry him no matter what.
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Post by mommaho on Jul 24, 2014 18:55:09 GMT
DH proposed without a ring and I accepted. We have been married 34 1/2 years and used a simple band when we got married because we both couldn't see spending a ton of money that we didn't have on jewelry. For our 25th he suggested we go to the mall and he walked right into the jewelry store and told me to pick out what I wanted because it was time to have a real ring. I did but I still wear my original band too!
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 24, 2014 19:06:27 GMT
My first engagement, was with a CZ on Thanksgiving evening. He asked and I accepted, then we shopped for a "real" ring that weekend. We never married, but I kept that CZ for years in a little box. It was special. I sold the actual engagement ring and he was pissed. 2nd time, there was a big fancy diamond ring. We divorced. I would accept without a ring now, but I would like something to have in hand to memorialize the occasion. Ring, stuffed animal, toilet plunger, SOMETHING. Darling, I love you. Please accept this turbo model toilet plunger as a token of my love. I got it laser etched with our initials at Things Remembered at the Mall. It will help us through any crappy times we come up against. (Just having a little fun there and mean it in good fun.) Seriously, I agree with you. I don't wear my rings right now because of comfort. It doesn't change my love and commitment. I bought my husband three gifts on our honeymoon, he still has all of them. One of them is a tie in a motif to remind him of our honeymoon. We've been married a long time now so it's starting to show some wear so he doesn't wear it as often anymore. Sometimes when he's getting dressed for work he'll say, "Do you think I should wear the tie with this?" He holds it up and gets a goofy look on his face. {he has dozens of ties - that is the only one he calls "the tie"} Even when it looks like a ratty little scrap we'll still keep it.
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Post by ChicagoKTS on Jul 24, 2014 19:08:15 GMT
I wasn't given an engagement ring and didn't want one. I wanted a channel set diamond and sapphire band. We shopped for one and couldn't find what I wanted so we went to a jeweler who took the design I had in mine and created the ring. I love it and it's still perfect for me. It's very thick platinum and also a wide band but smooth and never catches on anything. I don't like jewelry that sticks-up and gets in the way.
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Post by blueswede on Jul 24, 2014 19:11:15 GMT
I have accepted two proposals without a ring. In both cases, we shopped for the ring afterwards. I much prefer it that way because I would want something that I liked.
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Post by Anne-Marie on Jul 24, 2014 19:14:20 GMT
Appreciate ALL of the responses, I have enjoyed reading them - and AN, thank you for explaining your perspective. I was honestly a little relieved when SO mentioned wanting us to shop for a ring together and am great with a proposal without a ring (but I am pretty sure if he had a ring he had picked out without me that I would love that as well). I don't necessarily have any specific desires (other than the fact that I don't wear yellow gold - and he's aware of that), don't know that I want a specific stone shape, etc. But I have been engaged twice before (married once and divorced) and he has been married before (widowed) and it is important to me that the ring I wear for the rest of my life reminds me nothing of any of the previous rings.
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Post by genny on Jul 24, 2014 19:17:20 GMT
DH and I are coming up on 20 years. He proposed to me with a ring from a bubblegum machine. We still laugh that he had to spend like $5 on junk out of the machine to finally get a ring. Later, we chose my real ring together --- and he asked me again in front of my mom with the real ring (for her benefit, but it was still fun for me). I wore the bubblegum machine ring like a real engagement ring until we chose my real one. I still have it in my jewelry box. I don't think that it would bother me to not have a ring at a proposal at this stage of my life, but it probably would have when I was younger.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 5, 2024 22:50:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 24, 2014 19:19:25 GMT
I did. The proposal was not exactly planned but I had a strong suspicion that it was happening on a weekend getaway. We were young and neither of us had much money. We had given each other promise rings so I was happy with that until we could pick our a ring together. My DH still wears his promise ring as his wedding ring. It's so cheap but it means a lot to him and he didn't want anything different.
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anniebeth24
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,716
Jun 26, 2014 14:12:17 GMT
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Post by anniebeth24 on Jul 24, 2014 19:40:11 GMT
DH and I were living in different states and had discussed getting married. He had convinced me that an engagement wouldn't happen until I saw him at Christmas because he needed to save money for a ring. I went to visit him in October and he got down on on one knee and gave me a wrapped gift. It was a Precious Moments figurine of a boy proposing to a girl. He said something about wanting to get a ring, but wondered if this would do. My brain was scrambling about how I was going to carry this figurine around to show my girlfriends back home. He then proceeded to pull out a beautiful diamond ring and said, "Or, would you rather have this?"
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Post by epeanymous on Jul 24, 2014 20:03:56 GMT
I wouldn't have been thrilled with a traditional proposal, I don't think. Dh and I decided together to get married, and picked out a ring together. The day it was ready, we were engaged . I didn't need a ring, necessarily, although I like mine.
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Post by omarakbt on Jul 24, 2014 21:05:39 GMT
I did and would. Love between two people is not about the outward expression of that love, it's about how the two of you feel. We selected our wedding rings together. My dd did not get a ring when she got engaged. She did not want a ring where the stone stood up. They selected her wedding/engagement ring together/ Her ring is an art deco ring in white gold with bazzle set diamonds
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blue tulip
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,005
Jun 25, 2014 20:53:57 GMT
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Post by blue tulip on Jul 24, 2014 21:09:04 GMT
my DH proposed without a ring. we were in a stage in our life where we didn't have much money, and it didn't matter to me at all. a couple weeks later we went out and bought a modest one together, and paid for it together too.
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Post by mirabelleswalker on Jul 24, 2014 21:32:14 GMT
My husband proposed to me without a ring. He wanted me to pick out the engagement ring and wedding band that I wanted. He said I was going to have to wear it and I should love it. I think he knows my taste well enough that he probably would have picked out something that I liked, but I really appreciated being able to choose my own.
My BFF hates her engagement ring and wedding band. Her husband picked it out for the proposal.
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Cheesy
Full Member
Posts: 135
Location: The cornfields of Illinois
Jun 26, 2014 16:49:38 GMT
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Post by Cheesy on Jul 24, 2014 21:35:16 GMT
Dh and I had been dating long enough that I knew I wanted to get married but hadn't gotten a hint from him that he felt the same way. Then one morning we were talking about what we wanted to do that day and he suggested "ring shopping".
I had to ask him what kind of ring because it was such a surprise! He had me pick out the setting and stone shape, and got my ring size. Then he said that he would pick out the size of the diamond and officially propose to me later.
That was a long three months waiting for the proposal, and then found out my sister got engaged the same night!
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Post by ljs1691 on Jul 24, 2014 21:58:22 GMT
My first proposal was no ring and I only wore a plain white gold band the entire time we were married. I convinced myself it wasn't about the ring. We divorced after 3 years, not my choice. Seven years later, my second proposal knew up front that it would take him making the sacrifice of money, time and effort to show me that I was important enough to him to buy me a ring. He proposed with a basic but nice diamond ring. We took it to the jewelry store and picked a mounting that would serve as engagement ring/wedding band since I didn't want a set. He then kept the ring until we married since it was also my wedding band. It meant so much to me for him to have a ring but then to go together to pick out a new mounting to put the stone in was icing on the cake. We are happily married 10 years later.
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Post by lightetc on Jul 24, 2014 22:30:18 GMT
I'm pretty sure I'd be terrified if the ring was chosen without me. But then maybe I'll meet someone and be able to trust them enough to choose. Readily admit I'm very picky about the next to no jewellery I wear.
So yeah, no ring sounds perfect. Choose together.
As someone else said, something to have from the occasion would be kind of cool but I'm pretty sure with the right person I'd just be happy with the concept of being together for always.
I'll let you know when it happens!
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joelise
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,649
Jul 1, 2014 6:33:14 GMT
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Post by joelise on Jul 24, 2014 22:41:37 GMT
I might be in the minority here! But I don't understand why the ring is so important! Do you love the guy and want to commit to a future together? If yes than accept a proposal, if no then move on. I feel that the ring is the least important thing in a marriage proposal!
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