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Post by jenjie on Feb 6, 2016 13:59:12 GMT
It was a year ago this weekend that Fred and I entered the oncology floor for the first time. Seven months ago I walked out alone. Crazy isn't it? I've been saying we had a long goodbye but in reality it was only 5 months.
When is 5 months a long time? When the doctor tells you "this type of cancer tends not to respond to chemo... If it doesn't work we are looking at weeks..."
Although we only had 5 months, we were given the gift of time. Time that we didn't waste. Fred and I got a lot wrong. But we got a lot right too. We bickered and fussed, but we both loved and sacrificed, learned and grew during those 5 months. Neither one of us came through unchanged.
Thanks for walking through it with me.
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,375
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Feb 6, 2016 14:01:24 GMT
((HUGS))
Anytime. Thank you for sharing your journey.
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Post by leslie132 on Feb 6, 2016 14:06:23 GMT
I'm so sorry for your pain. I wish we could all take a pill and be through the process in healing. It is basically having every nerve ending you have exposed!! You will make it through Jenji. You are a fighter!
Your comment about not wasting time. I totally get. My father had been diagnosed when I was 1 month pregnant with my first son. My Dad was the greatest, and I was devastated. Well, he beat the doctors odds, and had 11 months with my son. We had more time with my father and we took advantage of it. It was a family joke that my Dad always gave the kids ice cream and sweet tea long before they should have it. The day I caught him giving my 4 month old ice cream......well, let's just say I had tears in my eyes for most of the day. It may be wrong, but Lord was it RIGHT!!!!
Hugs Jenji!!!
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Peamac
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea # 418
Posts: 4,218 
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Post by Peamac on Feb 6, 2016 14:08:01 GMT
(((Hugs))) A while back you wrote a long post about you and Fred, the stress his illness put on you both, and how you handled it. It was so beautifully and honestly written that I bookmarked it so I can reread it and learn from it again when I need a gentle reminder on loving my own DH when things are tough. I so appreciate your sharing that with us here!  |
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Post by mama2three on Feb 6, 2016 14:15:35 GMT
Hugs to you and your family. You've gone through so much, yet still show so much grace. No matter how long a time we have to say goodbye, it's never enough.
You really should consider printing out your post (and others over the past year) and scrapping them for yourself and your children, and perhaps ultimately putting together a book. It could really help encourage others going through similar experiences.
May God bless you and give you peace and strength and fond memories as you continue on your journey. Thank you for sharing your family and faith with us.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 10:35:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2016 14:49:41 GMT
Thank you for being real and sharing the good and the bad with us. I remember you saying once that when Fred had gotten testy, someone told you it was just the disease talking. I can't tell you how much that simple phrase has helped my mom and I keep our sanity when dealing with my father. He lashes out because he's so frustrated and tired of not being able to do anything for himself, not because he wants to hurt our feelings.
So again, thank you for your openness and honesty throughout that step of your journey. Your pain hasn't been wasted. You've been an encouragement to people you don't even know IRL.
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Post by gar on Feb 6, 2016 14:50:42 GMT
((hugs))
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Post by jenjie on Feb 6, 2016 15:02:59 GMT
I'm so sorry for your pain. I wish we could all take a pill and be through the process in healing. It is basically having every nerve ending you have exposed!! You will make it through Jenji. You are a fighter! Your comment about not wasting time. I totally get. My father had been diagnosed when I was 1 month pregnant with my first son. My Dad was the greatest, and I was devastated. Well, he beat the doctors odds, and had 11 months with my son. We had more time with my father and we took advantage of it. It was a family joke that my Dad always gave the kids ice cream and sweet tea long before they should have it. The day I caught him giving my 4 month old ice cream......well, let's just say I had tears in my eyes for most of the day. It may be wrong, but Lord was it RIGHT!!!! Hugs Jenji!!! I'm so glad you and your son had that time with your dad. <3 |
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Post by jenjie on Feb 6, 2016 15:04:24 GMT
(((Hugs))) A while back you wrote a long post about you and Fred, the stress his illness put on you both, and how you handled it. It was so beautifully and honestly written that I bookmarked it so I can reread it and learn from it again when I need a gentle reminder on loving my own DH when things are tough. I so appreciate your sharing that with us here! Thank you. More than you know. |
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Post by jenjie on Feb 6, 2016 15:05:19 GMT
Hugs to you and your family. You've gone through so much, yet still show so much grace. No matter how long a time we have to say goodbye, it's never enough. You really should consider printing out your post (and others over the past year) and scrapping them for yourself and your children, and perhaps ultimately putting together a book. It could really help encourage others going through similar experiences. May God bless you and give you peace and strength and fond memories as you continue on your journey. Thank you for sharing your family and faith with us. Maybe someday I will. Thank you. |
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Post by hop2 on Feb 6, 2016 15:05:24 GMT
{{{hugs}}} You have been through this with such Grace and Faith. We are here anytime. And we actually care.
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Post by jenjie on Feb 6, 2016 15:12:39 GMT
Thank you for being real and sharing the good and the bad with us. I remember you saying once that when Fred had gotten testy, someone told you it was just the disease talking. I can't tell you how much that simple phrase has helped my mom and I keep our sanity when dealing with my father. He lashes out because he's so frustrated and tired of not being able to do anything for himself, not because he wants to hurt our feelings. So again, thank you for your openness and honesty throughout that step of your journey. Your pain hasn't been wasted. You've been an encouragement to people you don't even know IRL. I am so glad it helped you and your mom. This week I've written thank you's to the doctor and his staff, and to the nursing staff. The person who shared that bit of wisdom was the nutritional counselor. I need to thank her too. One of the biggest, I don't know - desires? Hopes? Prayers? Is that this time, his suffering, our loss and hurt, would not have been wasted. Each time I hear someone has learned something from what we went through, or how we handled things (or should have handled things), good or bad, it reminds me that it has not been wasted. It's not for nothing. Thank you. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 10:35:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2016 15:12:43 GMT
((HUGS)) to you and your family Jenjie.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 10:35:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2016 15:43:54 GMT
You and your family have handled it with grace.
Thank you for sharing you story and what you all have done to honor those that helped you along the way.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,969
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Post by Nanner on Feb 6, 2016 15:49:17 GMT
Sending you hungs, Jenjie.
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Nicole in TX
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,951
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Post by Nicole in TX on Feb 6, 2016 15:51:20 GMT
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Post by SallyPA on Feb 6, 2016 15:52:16 GMT
Thanks to you for including us in your journey. I've learned a lot from you. Hugs!
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Post by hollymolly on Feb 6, 2016 15:53:16 GMT
Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
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scrappinwithoutpeas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,914
Location: Northern Virginia
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Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on Feb 6, 2016 16:32:53 GMT
Hugs to you, and I feel blessed to continue to share in this journey with you and the refupeas. We're all at different places; some have been through something similar in their lives, others may be going through aspects of this journey now, and still others may experience something like it sometime in the future or not at all. But you sharing your thoughts and inspiration as you have throughout your family's journey touches all of our lives in some way, and I for one feel lucky to be a <very small> part of it. Connecting with others helps so much. I know it was a great help to me after my Mom passed (sadly, long before the refupeas...or even the 2peas). |
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newlywoods03
Pearl Clutcher
Blessed Beyond Measure
Posts: 2,828
Jun 26, 2014 3:09:09 GMT
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Post by newlywoods03 on Feb 6, 2016 16:36:49 GMT
Hugs my friend!! You have shown such grace and unfailing faith in our God. I pray that you would always feel His love for you.. and your family!
Hugs and prayers!!
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Post by Yubon Peatlejuice on Feb 6, 2016 16:45:08 GMT
Time to move on
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 19, 2024 10:35:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2016 16:47:34 GMT
Hugs sweetie.
Cancer sucks and it can rip a family to shreds. That you and Fred came closer and made that time valuable is amazing.
Hugs and more hugs.
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momto4kiddos
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,151
Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Feb 6, 2016 16:49:34 GMT
((HUGS))
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Post by scrapmaven on Feb 6, 2016 16:51:30 GMT
You're right where you need to be. ((((HUGS)))).
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Post by auntkelly on Feb 6, 2016 17:04:08 GMT
I'm sure these last twelve months must in some ways seem like the longest twelve months of your life and in other ways seem like the shortest.
You and your kids are in my prayers.
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Post by JoP on Feb 6, 2016 17:19:20 GMT
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gottapeanow
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,752
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Post by gottapeanow on Feb 6, 2016 17:48:57 GMT
Hugs and prayers, dear Jennie.
Lisa
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,811
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Post by TXMary on Feb 6, 2016 17:59:20 GMT
(((gentle hugs))) sweet lady. You have taught me so much about life and grace. I'm sorry for your pain. We are always here for you.
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Post by Patter on Feb 6, 2016 18:02:03 GMT
You do always write so beautifully and from the heart. Thank you for sharing and being such an amazing example to so many. Hugs and prayers continue!
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maurchclt
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,623
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Post by maurchclt on Feb 6, 2016 18:25:56 GMT
Hugs, always through this journey
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Time to get off the internet!
