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Post by rainangel on Feb 11, 2016 15:53:08 GMT
I'm not a 'professional' like they are discussing in the other thread , but I have skills that my family often ask my help for. I scrapbook, mainly cards, and I'm good at it. Most of the cards I make I spend around 6 hours creating. And most of the cards I make is because people asked me if I could make a card they could give to someone else for a birthday/christening/wedding etc.
I ended up spending so much time making cards for other people, that was to be given to people I hardly knew, and last year I 'announced' that I was taking a break from making cards and focusing on layouts with photo's of the kids. Which was true, anyway.
A few people in my family still approached me a couple of times, but I said no. Which was difficult, because I'm very good at saying yes. But I just needed to spend my free time doing things for ME.
To top it off.... 90% of the times I made a card for someone in my family, at their request, I got a stressed out phonecall about how they needed a card TOMORROW, and then I never even got a thank you. I never charged them for the time I used (6 hours +), I never charged them for the materials I used, sometimes I was handed old photographs to include and I scanned, edited and printed out those photos.... And I very rarely got even a verbal 'thank you'.
But a few people sure were mad when I stopped using 6 hours making a handcrafted, personalised card from quality materials for them every week!
It got to the point where I felt severly underappreciated for the value of my time. I enjoy making cards, but not when I have a deadline.
But then again.... I call my brother up every time something is wrong with my computer? And he sometimes spends hurs updating/installing/reformatting my computer. It's only once or twice a year, but still!
Do you value the free time of your family members? And do they value yours? Do people understand how long it takes to handcraft something?
I do feel every single member of my family has a skill, or a strength that everyone takes advantage of. So it evens out, right?
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Post by gar on Feb 11, 2016 16:00:40 GMT
I think that sometimes the under appreciation of the time taken is sue to lack of knowledge and not necessarily disregard.
I must admit 6 hours to make one card is a long time!! I did use to do cards/scrapping so I know what can go into our masterpieces but I'm sure that if you asked someone outside of the craft circle they would never guess at 6 hours in a million years!
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 11, 2016 16:01:55 GMT
No, it doesn't always even out. You were right to call an end to it, in your situation.
I bet you do something to show your appreciation for your brother. I have given my brother gift cards for dinner to thank him. DH also bartered work with my brother.
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Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,773 
Location: Kentucky
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Post by Kerri W on Feb 11, 2016 16:10:26 GMT
I think that sometimes the under appreciation of the time taken is sue to lack of knowledge and not necessarily disregard. I must admit 6 hours to make one card is a long time!! I did use to do cards/scrapping so I know what can go into our masterpieces but I'm sure that if you asked someone outside of the craft circle they would never guess at 6 hours in a million years!  I certainly have days where I think "What about me?!" It think it's human nature. Because I feel that way, I try to be very mindful of showing my appreciation. I also realize 99% of the time it is my own darn fault because I allow myself to be taken advantage of. I have to say though...my family all pitches in and everybody uses their talents to help each other out. It's a cool thing and a large part of what I associated with being part of a family. My Dhs family does not do this. At all. They would no more help each other than anything. And it isn't mean spirited, they just don't offer to help each other. It's very bizarre to me. I'd much rather be from a family who pitches in and takes care of/helps each other than the alternative. |
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Post by lisacharlotte on Feb 11, 2016 16:12:15 GMT
I spent 4 hours making these. Granted, I colored and cut 6 birds/hearts/bow ties, painted background paper, but haven't put together the other 4 cards yet. Still, 4 hours. I showed these to my boss and he thinks they are awesome but also thinks it's nuts to spend so much time with so little result. But that's my hobby. I think he's nuts the amount of time he spends watching sports and playing golf.  |
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Post by gar on Feb 11, 2016 16:14:46 GMT
I spent 4 hours making these. Granted, I colored and cut 6 birds/hearts/bow ties, painted background paper, but haven't put together the other 4 cards yet. Still, 4 hours. I showed these to my boss and he thinks they are awesome but also thinks it's nuts to spend so much time with so little result. But that's my hobby. I think he's nuts the amount of time he spends watching sports and playing golf. They're lovely  |
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Post by rainangel on Feb 11, 2016 19:16:40 GMT
I spent 4 hours making these. Granted, I colored and cut 6 birds/hearts/bow ties, painted background paper, but haven't put together the other 4 cards yet. Still, 4 hours. I showed these to my boss and he thinks they are awesome but also thinks it's nuts to spend so much time with so little result. But that's my hobby. I think he's nuts the amount of time he spends watching sports and playing golf. Those are gorgeous!  And I can see how you would spend 4 hours on them. There is a lot of detailing that most people don't realize takes a lot of time to make happen. |
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Post by rainangel on Feb 11, 2016 19:22:57 GMT
I think that sometimes the under appreciation of the time taken is sue to lack of knowledge and not necessarily disregard. I must admit 6 hours to make one card is a long time!! I did use to do cards/scrapping so I know what can go into our masterpieces but I'm sure that if you asked someone outside of the craft circle they would never guess at 6 hours in a million years! I know 6 hours is a lot of time, but.... that's just how long it takes for me to make a card I feel good about handing over. I have a certain style I suppose, and pretty much keep doing the same thing over and over again in different colours. I also colour a lot of my card toppers by hand with Copic markers. That part alone can take an hour or so, depending on the stamp I'm using. I have to admit though, half the time is probably just pulling out paper and matching them, seeing what works  It's easier for me to accept someone like my brother not understanding how long it takes to handcraft something. But grown women who handcraft themselves seem to be annoyingly ignorant about it (they sew, knit, crochet, bake etc, no scrapbooking). |
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Post by krc11 on Feb 11, 2016 20:34:30 GMT
Agreed. I think any time someone does something for another that takes time away from their personal time, whether it be lawyering, plumbing or crafting, that time and skill should be appreciated appropriately (whether in cash or kind words). Or said "do-er" should learn to say no if they do not enjoy doing it or become resentful due to lack of appreciation. Easier said than done. Maybe we should look for ways to include their services. hehehe. SIL asks you to make cards - say that fine, I really need you to come paint my living room, clean my kitchen, do my laundry, whatever you know they can do or have done recently (thus their skills). Because if they are takers, they will be appalled that you expect them to do something for you. If you do that repeatedly, I bet they stop asking you. Hmm, I might be on to something!  |
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Feb 11, 2016 22:44:21 GMT
I feel your pain. I have a relative that I "trade" services for. If we went retail to retail, I get about $400 a year in services, she's getting about $2k-$3k from me. I'd rather just pay her outright! I'm starting to feel bitter and taken advantage of, but rather than take a break (which is hard when it's actually your profession), I've been cutting back their time to half and delivering half of what I did before. I'm not sure she's happy about it, but she can always pay retail and I'm sure it would fix itself!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 10, 2024 18:25:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 11, 2016 23:18:55 GMT
Do you value the free time of your family members? And do they value yours? Do people understand how long it takes to handcraft something? Yes, yes, and yes. I think it's because I come from a family where the motto is "Why hire a professional?" I also am not all that crafty. I copy other people on Pinterest! I did make a scrapbook of engagement photos for my niece's wedding reception (my sister's request) and I think it was something she appreciated. |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Feb 12, 2016 4:31:10 GMT
Do you value the free time of your family members? And do they value yours? Do people understand how long it takes to handcraft something? I do feel every single member of my family has a skill, or a strength that everyone takes advantage of. So it evens out, right? Yes, I do value my family members' time and don't ask them (or anyone really) for favors very often. As for whether they value mine, I would say it really depends on the person. There are a few in my family that won't even do the smallest favor for free, not even for my mom when she was alive, and yet they are the same ones who expect others to do everything for them for free. It's just weird. Then there are others in my family that would (and do) do anything for anyone who asks, often to their own detriment. The family members I get along with help each other out, and now that our mom is gone the ones I don't get along with I just don't talk to anymore. Most of my family does know how much time and effort it takes to make things by hand because pretty much all of them have some sort of skill or talent. Some do woodworking, others cook or bake, some garden, and I do all sorts of crafty artistic things. All of it takes time and ability. |
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Feb 12, 2016 10:37:19 GMT
I spent 4 hours making these. Granted, I colored and cut 6 birds/hearts/bow ties, painted background paper, but haven't put together the other 4 cards yet. Still, 4 hours. I showed these to my boss and he thinks they are awesome but also thinks it's nuts to spend so much time with so little result. But that's my hobby. I think he's nuts the amount of time he spends watching sports and playing golf. Those are beautiful! |
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Post by anxiousmom on Feb 12, 2016 12:54:42 GMT
I do make a lot of things (cards seem to the ones that people generally ask for.)
We are one of those big old families that generally people offer to help with whatever their profession/talent is before someone even asks for help. I am frequently asked if I will make/do something for family. I never say no-but there is no resentment on my part because there is likely some kind of reciprocity on the other end-either financial payment or help with a hated task.
I do sell cards that I make for my friends-but I set that up from the beginning by telling the very first person the cost and never wavered from that. They know that it will cost them more than it would to buy a card from the store and they are okay with that.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 10, 2024 18:25:35 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2016 15:24:27 GMT
I am the card maker in our family--I make cards each holiday/anniversary/birthday for my brothers to give to their wives and for my mother in law to give to whomever. They are super appreciative and one brother does the occasional handyman chores at my house in return. My mil is a gem. I never mind doing little things for her. The act of making the cards is therapeutic for me...sharing with others is just icing on the cake. |
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Post by rainangel on Feb 12, 2016 21:31:24 GMT
I am the card maker in our family--I make cards each holiday/anniversary/birthday for my brothers to give to their wives and for my mother in law to give to whomever. They are super appreciative and one brother does the occasional handyman chores at my house in return. My mil is a gem. I never mind doing little things for her. The act of making the cards is therapeutic for me...sharing with others is just icing on the cake. I absolutely agree that it is therapeutic! I love making cards! I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't love it. It's working under a deadline because someone else didn't plan ahead that is not very therapeutic. It sort of made me rethink the whole cardmaking, and eventually led me to take a break from creating cards, when I was up one night till about 2 a.m. gluing crystals and butterflies on a card that was being gifted to a person I had no idea who were. And I had to get up at 6! You could call me a perfectionist, or an over-achiever, or a yes-woman, but bottom line is; I keep my promises. So I made the card. It was gorgeous! After that night I 'announced' that I was taking a break from making cards. I have actually started making a few cards recently, with absolutely no other reason than I just felt like making a card. And it was bliss! |
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Post by jenjie on Feb 12, 2016 21:55:12 GMT
I posted before about my washing machine trouble. My friend the repairman told me don't bother paying for a service plan, you have me. He messed with the old machine for several hours before recommending and choosing a new machine for me.
He told me to have the new one replaced because it wasn't working. The lights were going crazy and it actually shut down in the middle of a load. But when the new one was giving me trouble too I suspected I might be the problem. He came by today and lo and behold, I am the problem! I was pressing the button too hard. So after maybe 30 seconds of his time he jokingly said, "that'll be $186.00". I knew he saved me quite a bit of money but I didn't know it was that much per hour! I am clueless about these things.
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And I can see how you would spend 4 hours on them. There is a lot of detailing that most people don't realize takes a lot of time to make happen.
