brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Feb 15, 2016 21:28:33 GMT
...my girls (11yo) have played a few sports but for the last couple of years it's been soccer. They both love it and play on a competitive team, which my dh and a friend of his co-coach. My dh and his friend have recently started coaching the rec team of the same age in our club because the other coaches decided they didn't have the time to coach. Neither of my girls play full time on the rec team but one dd does fill in occasionally. She's a goalie for our comp team and will play 1/2 of the game in goal for the rec (or the field, wherever they need her). I don't go to all the rec games and missed the one yesterday that my dd played goalie in for 1/2 the game.
I know parents can get really caught up in the game - I can too. But when is it ok for a parent on the opposing team to call names and be nasty about a player? I'll be the first to say that the rec team that dd played with is not that great. They have a LOT of new players, they've only played together for a couple of months...so it's a lot of the girls running around like chickens with their heads cut off. So yes, it's disorganized and mostly a mess. And it's why they play rec vs competitive. It's a chance for them to learn.
Anyway, my BFF was in the stands watching the game yesterday and 2 mothers were bashing the coaching of our team as well as the players, specifically my dd in goal. At half, they were down 1-0. The defense did ok the first half...but they ran out of steam the 2nd half. They weren't holding their positions and the whole thing just fell apart. Because dd wasn't getting much help, she let in 3 or 4 goals...it happens, she knows that. These two mothers sat there saying that the coaches must be pretty stupid to keep that goalie in when the other one did a better job. And then they kept saying stuff about my dd...and how it's obvious she belongs on the rec team vs a competitive team. That was the last straw for my BFF and she said to them "Seriously? You're talking about an 11yo CHILD for Pete's sake". She said they were pretty quiet after that.
I try to be thick skinned at sports things because I've quickly learned that other parents, especially mothers, can be mean and nasty. But it makes me SO angry. And just...I don't know hurt. What makes a parent think it's ok to bad talk a CHILD? It just really bothers me that any parent thinks that it's ok...maybe I'm just not cut out for being a sports mom. If I didn't think it would crush my girls, I'd just not go. But I know they'd be upset. Instead, I'm thinking I'll just sit my butt in the bleachers completely at the end of the field where I'm not near any other parents. If I can't hear them, I can't react right?
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sharlag
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Jun 26, 2014 12:57:48 GMT
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Post by sharlag on Feb 15, 2016 21:40:25 GMT
I was fortunate not to witness that. I heard parents complain when they thought calls weren't fair or correct. But never against the players.
It's good that your friend called them out!
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Post by hop2 on Feb 15, 2016 21:43:16 GMT
No it's not for the faint of heart. Pretty much at least one asshat at every game. I get angry even when it's their kid they are yelling at, you know, that's a kid down there.
My DD only played Rec and I mostly stuck my nose in my camera to avoid other parents lol. I'm certainly not up for that competitive crap. I'm pretty much not out for that. I cringe at football games when the other side yells awful stuff. Once this year they even chanted to kill the quarterback. I mentioned to my DH that I was glad our kids did band as I doubted anyone would wish them dead for marching one way or another. And that's usually true, although band can be pretty competitive on the feild off the field I've only had wonderful experiences, kids, other parents have all been great. That was up until this past Nov when we sat in the stands after our competition and the parent in front of us dissed pretty much every thing and everyone in our band ( me included I do feild crew ) funny thing is they don't even compete in our class. I rolled my eyes and moved on. I just couldn't belive it. Competitive parent crap had invaded marching band?!? Who'd have thought.
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Deleted
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May 5, 2024 6:52:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2016 21:46:24 GMT
Both of my boys have played on rec teams. Some kids were there learning the game until they were eligible for a competitive team or until they hit a grade where the sport was offered at their school. Some kids were there simply because the parents wanted them to play or the kid wanted to try it. One of the things I've noticed was that the parents who pushed the kids into the sport more were the ones that didn't hesitate to trash talk other kids. More than once, I've told a parent that um, that's a 8 year old out there. How good were YOU at 8?
DH grew up playing hockey. He had heard many parents being nasty towards 12 year old kids. He said not a single one of the kids he played with went beyond college hockey and even then, he said only one actually played for a division 1 team. The rest were clubs and leagues. The odds of these young kids ever being good enough to play for a Division I school or even professionally is like winning the lottery.
I'm glad neither one of my kids play competitively. I'd lose my shit. Marching band is bad enough sometimes!
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Post by ljsmom on Feb 15, 2016 21:52:11 GMT
Adults are idiots and are everything that is wrong with youth sports. I'm a typical lurker but felt compelled to log in and reply simply b/c of the sport and position referenced. He started club playing up U9 as a 7 year old. He has primarily played keeper since that time. Started off at a local rec league affiliated club and moved last year to a high level, well known, club in So Cal. I learned early and often to just roll with comments but I also did not hesitate to pipe in "if the keeper is getting pelted with shots it means the defense is struggling" I have also told my son to "keep you head up... if it gets to you got past 10 other players" . A keeper, especially a moderately experienced one, will give up goals. Some go in that should be stopped (heck, professionals get scored on) others there is no physical way for them to be stopped.
Parents are dumb and should NEVER discuss another child whether on their team or not. We had parents on our sideline getting nasty b/c there was seriously a 6 foot 1 12 year old we faced last week. I mentally questioned the age b/c of size but shrugged it off that they have forms so I can't do anything but my DH and i had to calm a number of them down. I also sent an email to our Team Admin asking them to deal with it and stop the crap. Our paid professional, highly licensed, coach emailed out the next day that such behavior will not be tolerated and that we are to positively cheer for our boys and not even address the others. Is my understanding he also sent specific emails to the worst offenders in the bunch which I appreciate.
In your scenario- if they have coaching opinions, especially in rec, they are welcome to step up and volunteer. Until then shut up or pull your kid if you are so offended by choices being made. To your daughter- take the terrible defending rec squad and use it as an opportunity. A keeper's best training ground is on a bad team  our son picked up a lot of his initial skill out of necessity. Now new club has super awesome keeper trainer with full curriculum but those early days with many loses and tons of shots set the tone for him.
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Deleted
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May 5, 2024 6:52:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2016 21:53:59 GMT
Ugh! That's terrible. I only had one bad experience and that was with a player. I WISH, oh how I wish I would have said something. My daughter is different because she has Autism. I heard a mother ask her daughter, my daughter's name. She said in such a snotty voice, Oh, that's *Jane Smith* she's really weird!  Ugh! I don't have thick skin either. I had only known three or four months about her diagnosis and it was just shock at the time. Your friend is an awesome lady! I know my husband's aunt stood up for her when she was taking photos at my daughter's school. She caught two girls off guard that were making fun of the way she was skipping back to class. She said guess what you may not know this, but I am that girl's aunt and I see you are wearing a CTR ring (Mormon thing) which stands for Choose the Right! She went into a nice lecture of how they should practice what they preach!  |
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Post by ljsmom on Feb 15, 2016 21:55:26 GMT
Instead, I'm thinking I'll just sit my butt in the bleachers completely at the end of the field where I'm not near any other parents. If I can't hear them, I can't react right? oh and on this- this is what we do. Well, we don't have bleachers but we set our chairs up just a couple feet up the sideline from the corner flag. Most of the parents huddle at mid field. Just keeps me from hearing stuff that I may be inclined to react to. I do it especially when parent's of both teams are on one sideline and the teams/coaches are on the other. I don't like to hear dumb comments or laughter from the opponent's parents about our boys so I just stay as far away from it as I can |
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iowgirl
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Post by iowgirl on Feb 15, 2016 21:57:22 GMT
I'd have lost my shit, if I overheard them.
I would also congratulate them on their new position as coaches. Watch how fast they shut up, when you ask THEM to put the time in coaching.
It was my experience, that the ones who bitched the loudest, did the least to help.
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Post by 950nancy on Feb 15, 2016 21:59:26 GMT
I raised a goalie and a pitcher. I hated how parents acted. I was so glad when my oldest spent his last two tears of high school playing golf. My youngest decided to just focus on school for his last two years.
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Post by Really Red on Feb 15, 2016 22:38:24 GMT
I have no problem telling parents stuff. Once, when my 10yo son was playing goalie, and the score was 10-0 (not in our favor!), a few of the dads were yelling at their kids to run the score up because the goalie was letting them in. The goalie, AKA my son, who was LOSING 10-0 to a mean bunch of 10-11 yos and their parents.
I said to the dads "That's my son. He's 10yo and doing his best" I was calm, but they did move and shut up. I find it best to remain calm and remind people that these are kids. I wish those dads could see my 6'4" star goalie today. I also wish I had the nerve to have take a picture of them and said that I was going to post it everywhere so that parents could see what they should NOT do.
I mostly clap for my team, but I can tell you, when the other team is not doing so well or they do something great, I always clap for them. It sucks being the parent of a goalie and it sucks more listening to adults be mean to kids. I make sure that everyone knows that I don't tolerate it.
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Post by Delta Dawn on Feb 15, 2016 22:43:31 GMT
Yeah my son never played competitive anything in his life by his choice. (He played tee ball and had a psycho coach so he put his foot down there and said no more).
There was a time where I would have been picking fights with other parents and fortunately I never was put in that position. It is better for all involved!
I am very passive now. I will go mama tiger on someone hurting my son, but I am able to just be calm and peaceful.
This took a lot of work!
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Post by ljsmom on Feb 15, 2016 22:46:26 GMT
I mostly clap for my team, but I can tell you, when the other team is not doing so well or they do something great, I always clap for them. It sucks being the parent of a goalie and it sucks more listening to adults be mean to kids. I make sure that everyone knows that I don't tolerate it.
I get some sideways looks from other parents when I applaud a particularly good play by an opposing keeper. I can be totally bummed that a goal was not scored for our boys while also impressed with skill that their keeper makes. I often will yell "great save, keep" or even after a game if we encounter them (win or lose) as we walk out I be sure they know how well they did. Not sure some random soccer mom telling them makes them feel better but I know how lonely and hard that position can be.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 15, 2016 22:52:20 GMT
I mostly clap for my team, but I can tell you, when the other team is not doing so well or they do something great, I always clap for them. It sucks being the parent of a goalie and it sucks more listening to adults be mean to kids. I make sure that everyone knows that I don't tolerate it. I'm the same way. I am the least competitive sports mom! When it's raining really hard I'm usually the first to jokingly say, can't we just cancel? When it's obvious one team is going to win I want them to end the game so we can move on with the rest of the day.  I've missed the rec sports. My oldest who played soccer and basketball doesn't want to participate anymore.  He is doing other things though. |
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janeliz
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Post by janeliz on Feb 15, 2016 22:55:35 GMT
For parents like that, it's all about them. It's not about kids playing a game, being active, learning how to be a good teammate, and learning how to win and lose with grace. It's all about that mom and dad sitting in the stands and how the sport makes THEM feel.
My daughters swim and play softball and basketball, and I've witnessed some ugly behavior over the years. Softball has been the worst, especially because my husband coaches. If I do attend games, I isolate myself with my chair and a book or I keep score. Listening to the chatter of other parents makes me crazy.
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anniebeth24
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Post by anniebeth24 on Feb 15, 2016 22:56:28 GMT
DS16 has played in pretty high level, competitive soccer leagues since he was 8.
The one and only time my DH lost it with someone on the sidelines was just last spring. This guy was loudly calling out kids by name, being critical of their play. When he specifically started critiquing DS, my normally calm DH got in his face and told him that those were "somebody's kids and he should just shut it."
It caused a bit of stir among the other parents as he was a friend of one of the team families.. . . He was their priest. . . Wearing his collar. . .
Guess that goes to show you it can bring out the ugly in everyone.
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psiluvu
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Post by psiluvu on Feb 15, 2016 23:10:37 GMT
As the mother of a 6ft 1, 12 year old who plays competitive hockey, baseball and football I have heard it all. It used to really bug me and I would make comments back asking if they want to see his birth certificate. It doesn't bother ds so I have learned to relax and just laugh say yep he's 12 you should see his dad. People who know us get a good giggle out of that as DH is 5"5.
My dd has been a competitive hockey goalie since she was 8 and I have always sat away from the rest of the parents. Mostly becasue I get nervous for her but not being able to hear other parents is a bonus. So hang in there OP and let it go in one ear and out the other.
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rickmer
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Post by rickmer on Feb 15, 2016 23:18:03 GMT
i helped out coaching dd's soccer team for the last two years. i have a rule that goalies are *not* allowed to apologize for goals that get in.
girls seem to want to apologize a lot. i make the rest of the players on the field during the play apologize to the goalie... it got thru each of them before it got to her.
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Post by christine58 on Feb 15, 2016 23:30:48 GMT
I hated sitting in the stands when my dad coached football.
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brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Feb 15, 2016 23:36:11 GMT
Both of my boys have played on rec teams. Some kids were there learning the game until they were eligible for a competitive team or until they hit a grade where the sport was offered at their school. Some kids were there simply because the parents wanted them to play or the kid wanted to try it. One of the things I've noticed was that the parents who pushed the kids into the sport more were the ones that didn't hesitate to trash talk other kids. More than once, I've told a parent that um, that's a 8 year old out there. How good were YOU at 8? DH grew up playing hockey. He had heard many parents being nasty towards 12 year old kids. He said not a single one of the kids he played with went beyond college hockey and even then, he said only one actually played for a division 1 team. The rest were clubs and leagues. The odds of these young kids ever being good enough to play for a Division I school or even professionally is like winning the lottery. I'm glad neither one of my kids play competitively. I'd lose my shit. Marching band is bad enough sometimes! What I bolded there -I said that exact same thing to my BFF today when she was telling me about it. I said that 99% of the kids that play in this area will NOT be using soccer to pay the bills. It's a fun game, they love it...a few may make it to college soccer, but that's it. |
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brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Feb 15, 2016 23:44:06 GMT
Adults are idiots and are everything that is wrong with youth sports. I'm a typical lurker but felt compelled to log in and reply simply b/c of the sport and position referenced. He started club playing up U9 as a 7 year old. He has primarily played keeper since that time. Started off at a local rec league affiliated club and moved last year to a high level, well known, club in So Cal. I learned early and often to just roll with comments but I also did not hesitate to pipe in "if the keeper is getting pelted with shots it means the defense is struggling" I have also told my son to "keep you head up... if it gets to you got past 10 other players" . A keeper, especially a moderately experienced one, will give up goals. Some go in that should be stopped (heck, professionals get scored on) others there is no physical way for them to be stopped.
Parents are dumb and should NEVER discuss another child whether on their team or not. We had parents on our sideline getting nasty b/c there was seriously a 6 foot 1 12 year old we faced last week. I mentally questioned the age b/c of size but shrugged it off that they have forms so I can't do anything but my DH and i had to calm a number of them down. I also sent an email to our Team Admin asking them to deal with it and stop the crap. Our paid professional, highly licensed, coach emailed out the next day that such behavior will not be tolerated and that we are to positively cheer for our boys and not even address the others. Is my understanding he also sent specific emails to the worst offenders in the bunch which I appreciate.
In your scenario- if they have coaching opinions, especially in rec, they are welcome to step up and volunteer. Until then shut up or pull your kid if you are so offended by choices being made. To your daughter- take the terrible defending rec squad and use it as an opportunity. A keeper's best training ground is on a bad team our son picked up a lot of his initial skill out of necessity. Now new club has super awesome keeper trainer with full curriculum but those early days with many loses and tons of shots set the tone for him.
Thank you SO much for logging in and responding. Everything you said here is SO true. My girls have been playing soccer for only 2-3 years. And they've had losing seasons EVERY season/session except this one. Right now, they're 4-0. My keeper dd has learned SO much playing rec...they've been rec until last fall when the president of our club decided our U12 girls were ready to play competitive. And I absolutely agree with you that playing with a team that is just learning is good for her. And she just loves to play so getting the extra play time with the rec team is something she was really excited about. We've had some parents that were loud, somewhat opinionated parents but NOTHING like this group yesterday. I think it's absolutely disgusting that they'd talk about ANY kid that way. |
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Post by hop2 on Feb 15, 2016 23:45:46 GMT
My neice is coaching for only her second year and she just mentioned that she invited one parent to practice to show the kids how to do it 'so much better' or to sit down and be quiet.
The kids all thanked her after, especially the kid whose parent it was.
She's waiting to see if the parent will actually show up tomorrow at practice. Lol
ETA: my sister just told me what my neice actually said and I'm even prouder.
She walked over and said to the guy " excuse me sir, we are always looking for guest experts to come to practice and share their skills and knowledge, we practice weekdays 3-5:30pm and your welcome any practice, however right now the kids have to do their best with what they know now and if you could sit down and be quiet it would help with that. "
I'm extra proud because it had yo have taken every bit of my neicesxsrkf control to not use an expletive or 3 or grab the dude by the collar. Whoooo hoop you go girl.
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Post by missfrenchjessica on Feb 15, 2016 23:45:47 GMT
I've been pretty lucky that I haven't heard any direct negative comments about any of my kids while they're playing. Unfortunately, my boys have had coaches from the other team in a REC basketball league tell their players to be physical; hit, push etc. One even laughed when one of the boys on our team fell and hurt his ankle and leg and had to be carried off the court by one of our coaches. What. A. Jerk! This past weekend the boys played a good team; but they were far more physical than they needed to be. Many fouls not called that were really obvious. Their coach kept yelling at them to attack physically more and more. It was all kinds of ridiculous because at half time they had a double digit lead. Dear Lord---I'm all about being competitive and giving it your all, but this was over the top. It really hurts when someone talks badly about your kid(s). brandy327 I'm sorry some adults couldn't be adult enough to stop bashing an 11 year old! |
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brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Feb 15, 2016 23:48:33 GMT
Ugh! That's terrible. I only had one bad experience and that was with a player. I WISH, oh how I wish I would have said something. My daughter is different because she has Autism. I heard a mother ask her daughter, my daughter's name. She said in such a snotty voice, Oh, that's *Jane Smith* she's really weird! Ugh! I don't have thick skin either. I had only known three or four months about her diagnosis and it was just shock at the time. Your friend is an awesome lady! I know my husband's aunt stood up for her when she was taking photos at my daughter's school. She caught two girls off guard that were making fun of the way she was skipping back to class. She said guess what you may not know this, but I am that girl's aunt and I see you are wearing a CTR ring (Mormon thing) which stands for Choose the Right! She went into a nice lecture of how they should practice what they preach! My friend is THE best...and I'm SO glad she was there and said something. I KNEW it had to be bad because she does NOT speak out like that. She may say something quietly to me but never have I seen her say something to another parent. I'm SO thankful that she was there and said something and that she's watching out for my girls like that. My ds is on the spectrum so I understand how you feel. And seriously, I do NOT understand people like that. It's awful that people have to be so judgmental. I'm so sorry you had to hear that said about your dd. |
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brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Feb 15, 2016 23:50:13 GMT
Instead, I'm thinking I'll just sit my butt in the bleachers completely at the end of the field where I'm not near any other parents. If I can't hear them, I can't react right? oh and on this- this is what we do. Well, we don't have bleachers but we set our chairs up just a couple feet up the sideline from the corner flag. Most of the parents huddle at mid field. Just keeps me from hearing stuff that I may be inclined to react to. I do it especially when parent's of both teams are on one sideline and the teams/coaches are on the other. I don't like to hear dumb comments or laughter from the opponent's parents about our boys so I just stay as far away from it as I can We're playing indoor currently, which is why we have the bleachers. When it's outdoor, we're set up just like you said - coaches and players on one side and parents on the other. I'll definitely sit down by the corner when outdoor comes along. |
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brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Feb 15, 2016 23:58:53 GMT
I have no problem telling parents stuff. Once, when my 10yo son was playing goalie, and the score was 10-0 (not in our favor!), a few of the dads were yelling at their kids to run the score up because the goalie was letting them in. The goalie, AKA my son, who was LOSING 10-0 to a mean bunch of 10-11 yos and their parents. I said to the dads "That's my son. He's 10yo and doing his best" I was calm, but they did move and shut up. I find it best to remain calm and remind people that these are kids. I wish those dads could see my 6'4" star goalie today. I also wish I had the nerve to have take a picture of them and said that I was going to post it everywhere so that parents could see what they should NOT do.
I mostly clap for my team, but I can tell you, when the other team is not doing so well or they do something great, I always clap for them. It sucks being the parent of a goalie and it sucks more listening to adults be mean to kids. I make sure that everyone knows that I don't tolerate it.I do this too - especially for the keeper. If they make a great save, I always give him/her props...because I know how difficult that position is. But I always recognize good plays...because again, they're KIDS. Damned stupid parents that aren't nice. LOL |
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Post by anxiousmom on Feb 16, 2016 0:05:40 GMT
I watched a kid deliberately slide tackle, cleat first, my son which completely tore his MCL get high fived by his teammates when my son dropped like a stone and had to be helped off the field. The kid got a yellow card. My son got months of physical therapy, pain and crutches and the kid got a yellow card. I won't even tell you about the glee in the parent's comments when it happened. I have never been so angry in my whole life-and I am one of those people who it takes a whole lot to get mad. I was furious.
I don't know if it is the parents who think their snowflakes are the next best player, I don't know if it is the entitled kids or the poor leadership of coaches-but watching the other side high five each other when an opposing player was hurt on purpose and not one single adult did a thing to stop them, I think it is no wonder why we have such trouble with our college and professional athletes they haven't been taught what is right and wrong.
(And I should add, we have had great coaches over the years. The boy's high school soccer coach benched kids for bad sportsmanship and it really sets the tone when the coach is more concerned with 'right' play rather than winning at all costs.)
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brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Feb 16, 2016 0:07:13 GMT
I've been pretty lucky that I haven't heard any direct negative comments about any of my kids while they're playing. Unfortunately, my boys have had coaches from the other team in a REC basketball league tell their players to be physical; hit, push etc. One even laughed when one of the boys on our team fell and hurt his ankle and leg and had to be carried off the court by one of our coaches. What. A. Jerk! This past weekend the boys played a good team; but they were far more physical than they needed to be. Many fouls not called that were really obvious. Their coach kept yelling at them to attack physically more and more. It was all kinds of ridiculous because at half time they had a double digit lead. Dear Lord---I'm all about being competitive and giving it your all, but this was over the top. It really hurts when someone talks badly about your kid(s). brandy327 I'm sorry some adults couldn't be adult enough to stop bashing an 11 year old! We've had that recently too - where the coach of the opposing team was encouraging his girls to be aggressive and push. WTF? Who does that ever but especially with 10-11-12yo girls?! |
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brandy327
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Post by brandy327 on Feb 16, 2016 0:10:33 GMT
I watched a kid deliberately slide tackle, cleat first, my son which completely tore his MCL get high fived by his teammates when my son dropped like a stone and had to be helped off the field. The kid got a yellow card. My son got months of physical therapy, pain and crutches and the kid got a yellow card. I won't even tell you about the glee in the parent's comments when it happened. I have never been so angry in my whole life-and I am one of those people who it takes a whole lot to get mad. I was furious. I don't know if it is the parents who think their snowflakes are the next best player, I don't know if it is the entitled kids or the poor leadership of coaches-but watching the other side high five each other when an opposing player was hurt on purpose and not one single adult did a thing to stop them, I think it is no wonder why we have such trouble with our college and professional athletes they haven't been taught what is right and wrong. (And I should add, we have had great coaches over the years. The boy's high school soccer coach benched kids for bad sportsmanship and it really sets the tone when the coach is more concerned with 'right' play rather than winning at all costs.) OMG, that is HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO sorry for your ds. That's just awful. Yeah, we had an opposing coach that was encouraging aggressive play and pushing...in the same breath, OUR coaches were telling our girls to keep their hands/arms down, play aggressively but not dirty. That garnered a whole string of bad looks from that opposing coaching line. I can't imagine what kind of these people are off the field if that's how they are ON the field. |
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Post by anxiousmom on Feb 16, 2016 0:17:13 GMT
I watched a kid deliberately slide tackle, cleat first, my son which completely tore his MCL get high fived by his teammates when my son dropped like a stone and had to be helped off the field. The kid got a yellow card. My son got months of physical therapy, pain and crutches and the kid got a yellow card. I won't even tell you about the glee in the parent's comments when it happened. I have never been so angry in my whole life-and I am one of those people who it takes a whole lot to get mad. I was furious. I don't know if it is the parents who think their snowflakes are the next best player, I don't know if it is the entitled kids or the poor leadership of coaches-but watching the other side high five each other when an opposing player was hurt on purpose and not one single adult did a thing to stop them, I think it is no wonder why we have such trouble with our college and professional athletes they haven't been taught what is right and wrong. (And I should add, we have had great coaches over the years. The boy's high school soccer coach benched kids for bad sportsmanship and it really sets the tone when the coach is more concerned with 'right' play rather than winning at all costs.) OMG, that is HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO sorry for your ds. That's just awful. Yeah, we had an opposing coach that was encouraging aggressive play and pushing...in the same breath, OUR coaches were telling our girls to keep their hands/arms down, play aggressively but not dirty. That garnered a whole string of bad looks from that opposing coaching line. I can't imagine what kind of these people are off the field if that's how they are ON the field. It was horrible. And that was about the time I had to disengage from going to all the games. It stopped being fun and became a blood sport and I couldn't take the other parents (on both sides) and I couldn't watch the coaches divorce themselves from teaching good sportsmanship. I would go to random games, but I was no longer at every single game. I am thankful that my younger son has started playing tennis-I often know the parents from the other teams and I rarely hear any negative comments from them and the coaches seems pretty darn encouraging. Soccer though. Some of those coaches are hard core and teaching the kids how to play dirty without getting caught seems to be a badge of honor. |
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
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Post by brandy327 on Feb 16, 2016 0:22:48 GMT
OMG, that is HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO sorry for your ds. That's just awful. Yeah, we had an opposing coach that was encouraging aggressive play and pushing...in the same breath, OUR coaches were telling our girls to keep their hands/arms down, play aggressively but not dirty. That garnered a whole string of bad looks from that opposing coaching line. I can't imagine what kind of these people are off the field if that's how they are ON the field. It was horrible. And that was about the time I had to disengage from going to all the games. It stopped being fun and became a blood sport and I couldn't take the other parents (on both sides) and I couldn't watch the coaches divorce themselves from teaching good sportsmanship. I would go to random games, but I was no longer at every single game. I am thankful that my younger son has started playing tennis-I often know the parents from the other teams and I rarely hear any negative comments from them and the coaches seems pretty darn encouraging. Soccer though. Some of those coaches are hard core and teaching the kids how to play dirty without getting caught seems to be a badge of honor. I was absolutely SHOCKED...SHOCKED when we first realized that there were coaches out there that taught the nastiness. My dh and his friend that coach - his friend is kind of the hard ass coach, and my dh is the "nice" coach. My dh encourages the girls, gives them props for the things they do right and basically a "you'll do better next time" type of coach. His friend was a soccer player all through high school and is more of the tough love (but NEVER mean). They both expect the girls to show up and give their absolute best at every game...and teach them as much as they can. But ALL of the girls know that if they see ANY intentional bad play, they'll be pulled and benched for the rest of the game. The few times we've come up against teams that were encouraging that kind of play, they told the girls that they'd rather see them play hard and CLEAN and lose then to play dirty and win. Too bad not all coaches teach those things. |
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our son picked up a lot of his initial skill out of necessity. Now new club has super awesome keeper trainer with full curriculum but those early days with many loses and tons of shots set the tone for him. 
Ugh! I don't have thick skin either. I had only known three or four months about her diagnosis and it was just shock at the time.
I've missed the rec sports. My oldest who played soccer and basketball doesn't want to participate anymore. 
He is doing other things though. 
