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Post by Really Red on Feb 20, 2016 15:14:55 GMT
Definitely work your top. Make sure your makeup and hair are all 20s and the top is like some of these shown. I'm sure your pants will be fine.
FWIW I cannot even imagine being told what to wear and then wearing a dress!!
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Feb 20, 2016 15:22:31 GMT
I recently saw an episode of Keeping up with the kardashjans and they three a similar party. It looked fun but I also agree that I hate to buy someone for one night. I usually end up doing that anyway since I rarely wear dresses, though. I would look for some ideas online and find something reasonable and comfortable. I agree with others who say you may feel more self conscious if everyone else is dressed in that manner and you aren't.
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Deleted
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Jun 1, 2024 23:31:40 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 20, 2016 15:22:53 GMT
My question is, if given these circumstances, would you find it terrible for me to wear a pair of nice black slacks (nice office style) I think you'd stick out like a sore thumb in office style trousers.
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Post by anxiousmom on Feb 20, 2016 15:34:03 GMT
Do you know any of the other women who are invited to the wedding? Maybe talking to them might help allay some of the anxiety if you have an idea of what others are wearing. Remember deciding what to wear on the first day of high school and trying to pick the perfect thing that lets you blend in with every one else and the fear that you will get it wrong?? And knowing what your best friend is wearing gave you the confidence in your choice?? That is what I mean.
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Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,975
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
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Post by Nanner on Feb 20, 2016 16:15:39 GMT
I haven't read through the whole thread yet, so this may have been mentioned - how about a flapper style dress and leggings. That may make you feel a bit more comfortable.
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Post by auntkelly on Feb 20, 2016 18:15:32 GMT
I would not go all out. I bought a very plain classic dark green dress at Talbots a couple of months ago. I'd probably wear that and either wear a great big Art Deco broach or I'd go buy several strands of long fake pearls and call it good.
I think it is very self absorbed to expect your friends and family to come to a destination wedding in costume.
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Post by rockymtnpea on Feb 20, 2016 18:33:05 GMT
The wedding is on an island? So I am assuming it will be warm? Why do you think you should wear nylons/stockings? You would roast. Forget that thought. I didn't read all the replies but I did see people suggesting pants with different adds one that could compliment the theme. Spend a little and think about hanging with your dh, taking fun pictures (memories) and enjoying yourself. I guarantee you someone else will be there that has/had the same self conscious thoughts as you. ?
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Post by Darcy Collins on Feb 20, 2016 19:44:08 GMT
I'm sorry you're having so much anxiety about this event. The first piece of advice I'd offer is that that as you're committed to attending this rather expensive event - completely put out of your mind that it's frivolous to buy a dress and shoes that you'll only wear once. Seriously, you're traveling, staying at a hotel and by your estimate spending over $3,000 on this - buy an outfit that you will be comfortable in. If you hate dresses - go buy some flowing palazzo pants like these: Add a beaded or lacy top - perhaps something like this: Throw on some fake long beads and if you're really feeling festive - buy some 1920s inspired shoes: I can't insert the image - but they're here: www.modcloth.com/shop/shoes-heels/dance-it-up-heel-in-black-and-ivoryThat's less than $200. Now in my opinion - flowy pants aren't any more flattering than a dress - you could go with this: catherines.lanebryant.com/plus-size-dresses/evening/dusk-to-dawn-jacket-dress/4559c4562p228195/index.pro?mcid=AFF&sid=AFFCAxXCRsZG*QsMs&siteID=XCRsZG.QsMs-uGS2Rr6v3AU3iRQ2OBvKSw throw on some beads and call it good. But honestly, office pants at a formal wedding (which if they're calling for ball gowns) is probably not going to make you feel better in your skin, know what I mean?
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Post by ktdoesntscrap on Feb 20, 2016 22:01:59 GMT
I don't know what size you wear but I am plus size and have a fabulous black lace flapper style dress that I would be happy to lend you if you want to wear a dress.
PM me if you are interested.
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Post by lisacharlotte on Feb 20, 2016 22:37:37 GMT
I'd wear these. Attachments:
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Post by jbelle on Feb 20, 2016 22:47:38 GMT
Those wide legged palazzo pants were pretty popular in the 20s, and I have seen lots of Art Deco type shirts at stores lately. With a little imagination, you would be good to go. I liked this shirt (I just googled Art Deco shirt), with some black palazzos, and some chunky jewelry. I have seen some great 20's inspired stuff at Claire's and Ardene's. I would be hung up on the 20's thing too. While I love dresses, I just don't have the silhouette to pull off flapper. I have more of a Renaissance build, This top is elegant, and easy to wear and should look classy and spot on theme with the palazzo pants. Wish we had a Pea virtual model.
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Post by leftturnonly on Feb 20, 2016 22:59:04 GMT
It's a bit ironic that the 20's freed women from the constraints of clothing rigidity and now you're feeling constrained by that time period.
Follow the suggestions on here and see if they'll work for you AND your husband. Normally, I wouldn't weigh his opinion as heavily, but you said he will care and it could be a long and miserable weekend for you to go to so much effort and he not be happy.
I hope you end up having a fantastic time making wonderful memories.
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Post by anonrefugee on Feb 21, 2016 3:14:29 GMT
leftturnonly loved your commentary, and your advice! I wonder if some women in the era wished corsets and corresponding hourglass figures were in style?
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Post by leftturnonly on Feb 21, 2016 3:30:27 GMT
leftturnonly loved your commentary, and your advice! I wonder if some women in the era wished corsets and corresponding hourglass figures were in style? I believe most women wore very unstructured underclothing during that time. Hourglass figures were hidden under dresses that hung from the shoulders - baring both shoulders and knees. I remember reading about Agatha Christie's life. When she was young, she had very few curves and the fashion was the hourglass full figures. Then, as she was older and had the figure, the fashion was for flatter figures. She felt she just couldn't win in fashion no matter what!
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Feb 21, 2016 3:35:04 GMT
Wow, yah you get kudos and a lot of points for going this. I would never consider dropping $3,000 for a wedding like that for a friend. Maybe even for family. That is a heck of a lot of $ and then to have it strongly encouraged to dress in theme? Ouch!
Good luck deciding on what to wear. I like the pants/top idea.
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Post by Lexica on Feb 21, 2016 4:24:35 GMT
I like the idea of flowing long pants and a long lace and maybe beaded top. There was a picture on one of the posts that had regular black pants and a great long thin over jacket type thing. With flats and appropriate hair and accessories, you would look great and feel comfortable too. Link below My one piece of advice, take something before that ride over to the island. I am not prone to stomach issues on a boat, but I wanted to barf and die on the boat to Catalena. OMG it was awful. I used to go on my dad's boat when they went ocean fishing, and even when pregnant, I didn't feel sick. Compromise a little by going with their theme. Wear it and own it and have a great time! www.vintagecostumers.com/1920swomens/1920sw54.jpg
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Post by sunraynnc on Feb 21, 2016 19:28:30 GMT
We went to a black tie, black & white themed wedding years ago at a museum in Baltimore. It was elegant and so much fun, but it definitely cut into our gift budget!
I think you should try to honor their theme if you are attending.
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Deleted
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Jun 1, 2024 23:31:40 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2016 6:49:37 GMT
A couple if gals I know had themed weddings and I really was surprised that they did.
So I asked them why. The answer was, we didn't care if you came in theme or not as long as you were dressed to the nines! We spent way to much money for Uncle rick to show in jeans and polo shirt.
Then they pointed out the photo of my cousin's daughter wedding, where grandpa is front and center wearing a kind of grungy untuck shirt and those thick farmer pants. Grandma us wearing the same loose fit polyester flower shirt and pants that she has worn since before I was born. It like they were saying nobody is going to tell us what to do.
My husband mother threaten not to go my husband's first wedding if they made her wear a dress. And she did the same with her granddaughter's wedding. There is one group shot of her and she has somebody standing in front of her at husband wedding. And none at granddaughter.
So my view is that the bride wants every dressed up.
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Post by scrapApea on Feb 23, 2016 1:56:53 GMT
Just reading your post is making me uncomfortable. I don't do dresses either. I'm no skinny 6 foot rail that's easy to dress. So I'd be totally uncomfortable in a "Gatsby getup". No answer, just in your corner, Hugs to you.
Thankfully some of the peas seem to have found some items above that might work. Hope you find something.
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Post by lisae on Feb 23, 2016 2:06:22 GMT
I was just catching up on Downton Abbey and I always love all the fashion. You could watch an episode or 2 if you don't already and get ideas for what to do with your hair and jewelry. The current season is set in 1925.
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Post by bosoxbeth on Feb 23, 2016 2:13:41 GMT
Oh, I feel for you! You are already doing so much to attend this destination wedding and then on top of it to be given a theme for attire? OMG. I would be beside myself!! I find the whole thing SO nervy. How can people ask this of their guests? It's so selfish.
I say, wear what you want. Nothing wrong with dressy pants. You are a saint to even attend this wedding at such great expense!!
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mlana
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,523
Jun 27, 2014 19:58:15 GMT
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Post by mlana on Feb 23, 2016 2:19:26 GMT
Do you watch Miss Fisher's Murder mysteries on Netflix? It's set after WWI and the clothes are marvelous. The lead often wears dressy dressy clothes and they are often pants. Great place to get ideas.
Marcy
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paigepea
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Jun 26, 2014 4:28:55 GMT
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Post by paigepea on Feb 23, 2016 2:23:50 GMT
I would wear what makes me comfortable and find a hat or scarf that fits the theme. Just want to add - I'm not overweight but I also end up feeling uncomfortable in my own skin in social situations. I wear whatever makes me as comfortable as possible, even if it means I spend too much on my dress / outfit. And I also detest when I'm told what to wear. Our friends have a Halloween party every year and I dread dressing up. I wear my own outfit and add Mickey ears. This year I added an apron and was a chef, but I couldn't keep the apron on all night. Just didn't feel right. Hats and scarves have helped me for into dress up themes a lot over the years. Spend money on great shoes and Jewlery. If you've already spent so much on the trip, a little more on the outfit is ok. It's all relative . You'll feel better if you feel you look great. Have fun!
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