Getting a teenager to go to therapy? Any tips?

Hugs to you. You are doing a good job. There is a lot of good advice on this thread, but it sounds like you've got this.

I so understand the mommy guilt. My DS inherited my anxiety and depression and it can be overwhelming sometimes. It's also too easy to put myself in his shoes and forget that his illness is a little bit different than mine.

I'm in your shoes. My daughter is 15. Last year I found out she was cutting and we got her into counseling. She talks to me a lot and claims I'm her biggest support and the person she trusts the most. I thought it had stopped. A few weeks ago I saw cuts on her arms again, gave her a hug, and asked if she wanted to talk. She started hyperventilating and wouldn't stop so we headed to the ER. The ER doctor was great and makes a good counselor. Her biggest trigger came out and it's my husband's anger issues. He doesn't get mad at us, but he yells a lot and loses his temper at the smallest things, several times a day. His road rage is unbearable. She's a pretty sensitive kid. The ER doctor gave him the punch in the gut that he needed and my husband started counseling immediately as well as my daughter. The next day we also saw our family doctor who started my daughter on Prozac.

My daughter goes to an all honors high school with some college classes. This was her choice and she begged for her. She's been asked more than once if she still wants to go there. Trigger #2 is school stress. Last week I knew she was stressing about an Arabic presentation. She gets severe anxiety with presentations. I asked her that night if she had stayed safe. After telling me no and my nagging, she said she had cut her legs. My plan was to call her counselor about it in the morning. My daughter did not want to go to school that morning. She was very angry when I made her go and I got angry texts about how I say I want to help her, but making her be at school when she just couldn't that day isn't helping. We had a prior plan in place with the school nurse that if she gets overwhelmed or needs a breather she has permission to come to the quiet room in her office for a few minutes. That morning I texted my daughter back and said to meet me in the nurse's office. She couldn't calm down and just wanted to come home. I told her coming home and snuggling on the couch doesn't fix things and if we were leaving school then we were stopping at our family doctor's office. Maybe the Prozac was having the opposite effects. I was shocked when the nurse asked my daughter if she has hurt herself recently or thought about suicide. When she said yes the nurse said we needed to head to the ER.

We spent a long upsetting day in the ER. My daughter didn't have a specific suicide plan, but told the nurse that knew how she would do it if she decided. The ER recommended that we admit her to a local psychiatric hospital for an inpatient teen program called Journey's. That was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life (and I held my first son in my arms while he died shortly after birth). Leaving her there while she's crying begging us not to leave her was heartbreaking. She had daily meeting with a psychiatrist, group therapy, one-on-one counseling. The psychiatrist increased her Prozac and started an anxiety medication. While she was gone we thoroughly cleaned her room (she's messy) and found a box with different blades and some blades in a book. We also bought several lock boxes and now have one for sharps and several for medications.

She came home Saturday. She's been back to school and managing. We'll get her caught up on work she missed last week over the weekend. Just yesterday I noticed that she seems a little more relaxed and has more smiles. The strange thing is that it's like she's reversed a few years. She always wants to be with me (trigger #5 was "when I'm away from my mom"). I met her for lunch at school a few times this week because her good friend who keeps her grounded at school was out sick. I typically sleep on the couch due to husband's snoring and she's been sleeping downstairs with me. She hasn't wanted to drive her new Kia Soul (currently has learner's permit) in weeks. As soon as school work is done she buries herself in an adult coloring book (a good stress reliever). She hasn't spent any time in her bedroom. I am afraid to leave her alone too much right now honestly. I think things are falling into place, but it takes time. My husband has been on perfect behavior which is reducing the home stress. I've been sitting with her while she does schoolwork and helping where I can. She has counseling set and follow-ups with the psychiatrist to manage medications.

While in the hospital labs were done, specifically thyroid since I have thyroid issues. Her labs came back normal, but physical exam shows an abnormally large thyroid. Tuesday she's having an ultrasound and possible needle biopsy. It would be nice if there's a physical cause for her depression and anxiety. Otherwise, I believe people do have chemical imbalances - just like my thyroid - not everyone has perfect levels of everything. Unlike your son, my daughter does want help. She says she doesn't feel right in her head and wants to know why.

It's a scary road ahead. Counseling takes time as she is a very quiet shy kid too and medications can take a couple of months to have full effect. I debated whether admitting her at this point was the right thing, but I kept thinking about the mom of a boy her age that we've known since kindergarten who took his life in October. We went to his funeral on Halloween. I kept thinking if she could reverse one day, would she have admitted her son and gotten any help possible? I'm betting she would. I hope/think I did the right thing. The medical bills are now rolling in to a tune of $4,000 to the ER and $10,000 to the hospital, but that is worth her life. I'm going to be persistent in getting to the bottom of the issue - whether it be physical, emotional, chemical imbalance - and get her whatever help she needs. I couldn't imagine life without her.

You're taking great care of your ds everytime you take him to therapy. Throwing meds at someone w/o working on the foundation does nothing to help a person to learn how to handle their feelings and thoughts. Your ds needs a good treatment plan and a loving mom to lean on when the going gets tough. I also agree w/reward for going to therapy until it becomes a normal part of the weekly routine. You're doing fine, mom. Your son sounds like he needs a lot of support and people to pick him up not put him down as is being done at school. Though I might push for quicker appointment w/the psychiatrist. Can you try and get on a waiting list?

Please, do not go into the session with your son. I know it sounds obvious. The psych I saw as a teen wanted my parents in the room. Like I am going to admit to having problems in front of them??? Bribe him with whatever it takes. If he needs the therapy just give in to anything.

I am sorry your son is hurting. I think you and I have both been there.