|
Post by 950nancy on Jul 28, 2014 23:18:21 GMT
I have a hard time not correcting other people's kids in Walmart! It is my teacher brain that is wired to diffuse any improper situation. Thankfully my boys weren't big on having friends in the house. I would hope that my kids would have been corrected if they were breaking rules in someone else's house. I think the tone you use is important. Keep it nice at first and then the other kids just aren't welcomed back if they can't behave.
|
|
|
Post by 950nancy on Jul 28, 2014 23:20:56 GMT
Yes, I correct other kids in my house and other places too. If their parents are around, I wait a bit to see if they will intervene and if not, I say something. We had friends staying at our home for a week. They had two little guys with them. The youngest was jumping on our GLASS topped coffee table. The Mom said "stop it" about 10 times and the child wouldn't stop. I walked over, picked him up in my arms explained that we DO NOT jump on furniture in my house and explained to him that the glass top could break, he would fall through and could get hurt very badly. He looked at me and very seriously, like he was contemplating what I told him and said "I sowwy, I don't want an ouchie" (he was 3) got down and never even looked at the table again as a "toy" to be jumped on. The Mom was amazed that he stopped. Sometimes they just need to know why they should not be doing something, especially when they are that little. Older kids need it too sometimes. I don't mind being the "mean" mom if it saves someone from getting hurt or teaches a child "why" we shouldn't do things. I went through a glass coffee table top in sixth grade. Butt first. It was a sleep over and we were horsing around. The parents were so dang thankful I wasn't hurt, not a scratch, that we didn't get in trouble. I was so lucky.
|
|
|
Post by shinyhappytina on Jul 28, 2014 23:41:39 GMT
My kids are older now, so we don't have a bunch of little ones around any more, but I have seen some ridiculous behavior from some of our friends' teenagers. I'm AMAZED and appalled at how people let their teens talk to them. I used to teach parenting to people, so I will address bad behavior at my house, but usually try to gently provide the parent with some back-up and encourage them to deal with it themselves. That said, I will deal with it if I need to, I don't like being around brats.
|
|
|
Post by kimpossible on Jul 28, 2014 23:50:29 GMT
I have no problem reminding kids that come over - my house, our rules.....your house, your rules.
I just had to deal with this last week. You would have thought I had a 8 yr old..but know it was my DS's 15 1/2 yr old friend. He made a decision to run from the hallway and jump on our guest bed and broke out 2 of the legs on the bed. My DH had to force him to even consider apologizing for it. I asked him, "would you let me come to your house and do that?" Of course he said no.
|
|
|
Post by Merge on Jul 28, 2014 23:57:17 GMT
I have no problem correcting other people's kids at our home if the parents are not there. If the parents are there, I am generally more circumspect. That's why we have a big ballpoint pen mark on our beige leather sofa - because of the parent who felt a ballpoint pen saw an acceptable toy for a two year old. I was distracted with other guests and didn't see it until it was too late.
I will say that any kid who has to be corrected by me more than once is not invited back.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 14:27:55 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2014 0:00:17 GMT
Yes, and I have no issue with someone correcting mine if they are misbehaving.
|
|
akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
|
Post by akathy on Jul 29, 2014 0:02:27 GMT
Do you think your in-laws don't discipline them because they feel sorry for them, having grandparents instead of parents? I honestly don't know. My MIL is especially proud of the fact that she adopted them. She loves, loves, loves to tell people that the kids are her children. Legally, they are. But she does get offended when DH refers to them as his nieces instead of his sisters. C'mon, our kids are older and you want them to call their cousins Aunts? When they were discussing adoption (one was 4 months old when they got custody of her, the other came home from the hospital with them), we cautioned them about treating them as grandkids instead of kids. They assured us they could do it. Well, actually MIL assured us. FIL has always just gone along with whatever she decides, cause it's easier that way. We also voiced our concerns about their age. It's one thing to chase after kids and teach them how to behave when you're 20, it's entirely different when you're 60! They were adamant they could handle it. Clearly, something's not working. I'm in my 60s and have no problem correcting kids in my home. I have my grandsons over often and they know the rules here even if the rules at home are different. Would I like to be raising kids full time at my age? Hell to the NO, I don't have the energy any more. When I've had enough, I send my grandsons home. Sometimes it's suddenly and abruptly but I can only take so much
|
|
|
Post by peasful1 on Jul 29, 2014 0:34:23 GMT
Yup. My house, my rules. If their parents aren't going to correct dangerous or damaging behaviour, I will.
|
|
|
Post by Barbie on Jul 29, 2014 0:39:10 GMT
Yes, I do, and have no problem with it. Heck--I've even corrected my friends' kids in THEIR house. I have about zero tolerance for loud, screaming, destructive, rude, disrespectful, mean children. And if my kid had behaved badly in front of another adult when she was growing up, I completely expected her to be corrected as well.
|
|
|
Post by epeanymous on Jul 29, 2014 0:42:05 GMT
I am generally comfortable correcting but not punishing.
|
|
|
Post by **Angie** on Jul 29, 2014 1:21:42 GMT
For family/close friends - my house, my rules, and I have no problem correcting any problems.
For newer friends/co-workers, I usually "mention" to ds when the others can hear that we don't do whatever it is. (Half the time, ds is doing it too. Brat.) If it happens again, usually the parent reminds their own kid.
|
|
ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,019
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
|
Post by ddly on Jul 29, 2014 1:32:04 GMT
Our kids are 18 and 16 and we don't have to very often but will if needed. I find it's easier as they get older. That could be because I much prefer teens to little kids.
Lisa D.
|
|
scrapnnana
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,341
Jun 29, 2014 18:58:47 GMT
|
Post by scrapnnana on Jul 29, 2014 2:03:53 GMT
If necessary, yes, I will correct a visiting child's behavior. I would rather not need to, but if the parents won't do it, I will.
|
|
cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,387
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
|
Post by cycworker on Jul 29, 2014 6:42:33 GMT
I absolutely will. I will do it any place and time, as I see the need. What I mean is, I'll pull over & talk to the kids who are being unsafe on the residential street, I'll redirect the kids who are being too noisy or running around in the sanctuary after church, or at school, etc. Different situations will call for a different level of intervention. If it's at church, post-service, I tend to only focus on safety related stuff, for example.
I, too, have taught parenting, so if I'm in a situation where I'm one on one with a parent I can see is struggling, I'll do as was suggested above & encourage, support, etc., the parent. Love the example of jlynnbarth and the glass table. I have one friend who was like the other parent in her situation; constantly telling her kids, "Don't do that...." but not why, and they'd keep doing it. So I started modelling and she's really gotten better at it.
The thing that I struggle with more is the whole 'My house my rules," goes both ways, imo, up to a point. I mean, if a parent says 'No pop,' fine. But if I say the kid can eat in my living room so s/he can be part of our group and not isolated in the kitchen, then for Goodness sake, they're eating in the living room. My house, my rules. If they do make a mess, I'll clean it up, or I'll help them clean it up. I'm never going to let the kid do something unsafe, like play on the driveway or stand on the coffee table. So if I say, it's fine, they aren't hurt anything, lay the heck off your kid and stop picking on him/her! You want to be that strict at your home, I won't stop you; in mine, we're more relaxed.
|
|
anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
|
Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 29, 2014 6:50:51 GMT
My house, my rules. Don't like it? Tough. Take your brat somewhere else. I would have no trouble correcting someone else's child if they misbehaved in my home, and I would expect my own children to be corrected if they let the side down in someone else's house.
|
|