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Post by sues on Jul 29, 2014 22:09:14 GMT
Ahhhh...people like the OP are a big reason I will not put on a swimsuit. The reason I do not wear shorts. The reason I feel like everyone is staring at me if I wear capris. While I think " Yay ladies!" and envy their confidence when I people watch at the pool- I can also see (and hear) what too many people on the flip side are saying. I shouldn't care- but still, it is too much for me. I can't be as brave as other imperfect women. Exactly. And I call BS that most are just concerned about the obesity epidemic.  God save me from the people who are only worried about the health of the fat people. Really- it's all bullshit. It's just a PC way of saying the same thing people have been saying forever; I don't like the way you look, therefore you should change. Spare me the statistics about how fat people are the reason everyone is paying higher insurance rates. Just one more way for people to stick their nose in someone else's business, on the pretense of concern or feeling like they have a 'right' to do it. I know plenty of thinner people that have health issues, don't eat well or exercise - but because they look a certain way, no one speculates on the unhealthy things they do that cause their issues. I exercise (could do more), I eat pretty well, I have healthy blood pressure and cholesterol levels. I see my doctor a few times a year and I rarely need anything more than a check up. I'm not a drain on anyone. I don't inconvenience anyone. But put me next to a thin person, and people will automatically jump to a negative conclusion about my health and habits while the thinner person gets a pass. Quit worrying about how many ways fat people are unacceptable and worry about yourself. Clean up your own habits, worry about your own health. Insurance rates are impacted negatively by anyone with unhealthy habits and lifestyles. Who is perfect? Want to cast the first stone? Or is it just OK to shame the fat people? |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2014 22:24:34 GMT
Only jumping in to say (and there were threads about this galore on the old board) that I agree with Anon. I'm not gonna judge ANYone for their water ensembles.  What I'm concerned about, however, is the mentality that is being perpetuated about weight. As we all know, obesity in the US is at an all-time high. Diabetes is also on the rise. With all the education and information out there, I think we need to really assess our lifestyles (sedentary vs. movement; high fat foods versus fresh foods, etc.). What we are seeing is, while it's fantastic to be able to appreciate one's body and not subscribe to the whole "body shaming," it's a double-edged sword. I hope this makes sense, and doesn't offend. I'm just concerned that with our continued collective unhealthy lifestyles; we are not focusing on the right messages: eating healthier, being more physical, etc., in addition to being okay with one's body. Thank you Kelpea for saying what I could not get across nicely. In the area of GA where I am visiting, heavy people and children seems to be the norm. It's talked about among family members on needing to watch what they (family)are eating to prevent obesity. A couple of family members are teachers and see a lot of obesity among children they teach. It doesn't 't seem to be the norm in the area where I live and teach. I'm not saying there are no heavy people where I Iive but most people in my circle are very health/food conscious not necessarily body conscious but being food conscious leads to a healthier body. Your original post was nothing but a thinly veiled laugh at people who you consider too fat to wear a bikini. It didn't even hint at any concern for the obesity epidemic, you just hoped that everyone would laugh along with you at the 'fatties' of the world. You know what, I'm thin and I won't wear a bikini or even a swimsuit. I have stretch marks from losing weight too rapidly and I know that people (probably people like you) are going to laugh and point and make me feel less than I am because of them. We're all born with one body and while I agree that obesity, over eating the wrong foods and not taking care of ourselves are massive issues, we shouldn't make anyone feel bad about that body. Maybe you would like to post a bikini picture of yourself so we can all bask in your perfection? |
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Post by melanell on Jul 29, 2014 22:56:39 GMT
Oh, in all fairness, I've seen & heard plenty of shaming towards smokers, alcoholics, & drug addicts as well. And don't forget those with mental illnesses. You know, the folks who should be able to magically heal themselves.    There are apparently a whole mess of unwritten rules about which medical issues are acceptable floating around. |
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andis
Full Member
Posts: 105
Location: South Florida
Jun 26, 2014 17:10:57 GMT
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Post by andis on Jul 29, 2014 23:54:24 GMT
I read this thread yesterday after coming home from Miami beach, and backed away feeling sad. I know the op didn't intend to hurt anyone's feelings but since I'm a fatty thanks to medication, this rubbed me the wrong way. When you feel the need to put someone down because they are different take a minute to wonder about how it feels to be them.
I can't walk around explaining the reasons for my weight gain, I am too busy living my life and being my children's mom. Sorry I won't hide behind a moo moo to make anyone happy, I wear a swimsuit that fits my current size. I saw another overweight woman rocking a bikini and I thought she looked great. btw, no one around me laughed to my face at my size. I saw many fit people and everyone was too busy minding their dang business to even notice me. My daughter had a great time at the beach with me and that is all that matters to me. I won't waste a second of my life waiting to be the acceptable size, my kids will probably be grown up by then.
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Post by sues on Jul 30, 2014 0:59:26 GMT
There are apparently a whole mess of unwritten rules about which medical issues are acceptable floating around.
True. You're right.
I think there's more shame and less compassion directed toward people with weight issues, though. The whole 'You did it to yourself. Just quit eating and get off the couch' mentality. It's not even good enough to shame fat people - it's practically a sport to make fun of them. No wonder people get to the point where they're afraid to leave the house.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 30, 2014 1:34:57 GMT
Oh, in all fairness, I've seen & heard plenty of shaming towards smokers, alcoholics, & drug addicts as well. And don't forget those with mental illnesses. You know, the folks who should be able to magically heal themselves. There are apparently a whole mess of unwritten rules about which medical issues are acceptable floating around. No kidding. I have no words for the OP. This thread was just a classic Regina George move. But Kelpea's ridiculousness is almost worse. Claiming that it's just all about health is pretty despicable coming from someone who claims to know all about the issues that those with mental illness face. Let's face it- a HUGE component of obesity is psychological issues, and body shaming people with weight issues under the guise of "Oh, I'm just so concerned about your health, and overburdening our country's healthcare system" is just as nasty, if not more, than acting like the OP did. Code speak is all it is. In this thread, for sure. |
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Post by seikashaven on Jul 30, 2014 2:37:36 GMT
I just want to know how the heck fat people are supposed to make all these wonderful health choices when they're being told they're dumb, offensive to look at and a drain on society at every turn. How do you love yourself as you are and become motivated to do better when you're told constantly you're not worthy of love and should be ashamed of yourself? Being emotional and thinking logically are not mutually exclusive by the way. I can be pissed at the jerk face comments here and still recognize the dangers and societal impact of obesity. Don't kid yourself that you're motivating anyone to do better. For every one person that is motivated by shame to lose weight, twenty-five of us are saying eff you and eating a cookie in revolt.  |
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Post by giatocj on Jul 30, 2014 15:48:20 GMT
I haven't worn a bathing suit in YEARS so I applaud anyone who has the courage to not only try them on in the store, but actually wear them! I seriously run through the bathing suit section. OK, not run exactly, but walk really, really fast  |
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Post by shevy on Jul 30, 2014 16:09:56 GMT
Only jumping in to say (and there were threads about this galore on the old board) that I agree with Anon. I'm not gonna judge ANYone for their water ensembles. What I'm concerned about, however, is the mentality that is being perpetuated about weight. As we all know, obesity in the US is at an all-time high. Diabetes is also on the rise. With all the education and information out there, I think we need to really assess our lifestyles (sedentary vs. movement; high fat foods versus fresh foods, etc.). What we are seeing is, while it's fantastic to be able to appreciate one's body and not subscribe to the whole "body shaming," it's a double-edged sword. I hope this makes sense, and doesn't offend. I'm just concerned that with our continued collective unhealthy lifestyles; we are not focusing on the right messages: eating healthier, being more physical, etc., in addition to being okay with one's body. I agree with most of this. I lost 100 pounds in about 2 years. I was by no means skinny when I was about 90 pounds lost. But you know what? I felt ABSOLUTELY AWESOME. I went out in a tankini that showed some leg and upper arm and clevage. And by most poeple's standards I was still overweight and shouldn't have been in that suit. But dammit, I worked hard to get there. I shouldn't have to hang a sign on my neck that says "I've already lost 90 pounds so I'm qualified to wear this and I'm still working at losing, so don't judge me." But I got looks and leers and laughs every time I wore it. How do I tell poeple I AM focused on being healthy? |
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Post by red88 on Jul 30, 2014 16:28:39 GMT
Just food for thought...I wear a tankini just because it's easier when going "pee"...LOL! I could care less about what anyone else looks like, just as long as I can get that wet sucker off in time to do my business.  |
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smartypants71
Drama Llama
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Location: Houston, TX
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Post by smartypants71 on Jul 30, 2014 16:34:08 GMT
Oh, in all fairness, I've seen & heard plenty of shaming towards smokers, alcoholics, & drug addicts as well. And don't forget those with mental illnesses. You know, the folks who should be able to magically heal themselves. There are apparently a whole mess of unwritten rules about which medical issues are acceptable floating around. And don't forget the "you're too thin" comments. Or "that's what a real woman looks like" one. Apparently that's acceptable here because I saw many threads where that happened. |
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Post by leftturnonly on Jul 30, 2014 18:02:56 GMT
I hear ya'! I was at a pool once and a man and his wife were examining a piece of plastic that was floating in the water in front of them. It turned out to be a swimsuit crotch-liner someone must have forgotten to remove. Yuck.  But they did realize everyone's actual crotches were in the water, right?   |
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linda~lou
Pearl Clutcher
Keep calm and eat crumpets
Posts: 2,744
Location: Motown but my heart is in San Francisco
Jun 25, 2014 21:57:08 GMT
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Post by linda~lou on Jul 30, 2014 18:41:11 GMT
I saw this on my friend's FB page and think this thread is a perfect place for it. The pic is from the article, the link will take you to the entire article. I think we can all learn a lot from it!  Huffington Post |
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Post by Aheartfeltcard on Jul 30, 2014 18:47:16 GMT
And don't forget the "you're too thin" comments. Or "that's what a real woman looks like" one. Apparently that's acceptable here because I saw many threads where that happened. I have been thin my entire life. It's just as hard to listen to "little boy" or "starving model remarks" I was born this way and I know I don't look like a little boy. My husband worships me. Thank God for him and the idea of not having to impress anyone else. I'll be okay as long as my marriage is healthy I guess. |
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Post by agengr2004 on Jul 30, 2014 18:59:31 GMT
Only jumping in to say (and there were threads about this galore on the old board) that I agree with Anon. I'm not gonna judge ANYone for their water ensembles. What I'm concerned about, however, is the mentality that is being perpetuated about weight. As we all know, obesity in the US is at an all-time high. Diabetes is also on the rise. With all the education and information out there, I think we need to really assess our lifestyles (sedentary vs. movement; high fat foods versus fresh foods, etc.). What we are seeing is, while it's fantastic to be able to appreciate one's body and not subscribe to the whole "body shaming," it's a double-edged sword. I hope this makes sense, and doesn't offend. I'm just concerned that with our continued collective unhealthy lifestyles; we are not focusing on the right messages: eating healthier, being more physical, etc., in addition to being okay with one's body. Sorry to use you as an example, but it really bugs the crap out of me when people assume I'm overweight because I don't eat healthy or exercise. It's not true. There's the 8+ years of fertility treatments, the PCOS, the low thyroid, etc. that have something to do with it. And if you've never dealt with all of that, I don't necessarily expect you to understand it. I eat well, I exercise, so what exactly do I have to be ashamed of? And while it's easy to say that it's not me you're talking about, it is. None of that is written on my forehead, you wouldn't know that just by looking at me. But it's cool, I'm coming to quickly realize that's your problem, not mine. |
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~Lauren~
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,876
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Post by ~Lauren~ on Jul 30, 2014 19:54:29 GMT
Some of you people really need to lighten up
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Post by *Scrapper*Stamper* on Jul 30, 2014 23:33:38 GMT
I don 't care what they wear but a 300 lb woman is not attractive in a bikini. TO YOU. Maybe she doesn't swing that way. Maybe you finding her attractive is NOT why she or anyone wears a bikini. Holy crap Caro I am telling you that you are dead wrong!!! I will absolutely and positively say that I should not post because the fact that this thread was even created has me beyond pissed off! My husband has gained weight since we have been married due to medication. I love him and married him because of the person he is, not because of how much he weighs! I absolutely and positively find him attractive - because of who he is as a person. Do you even realize that there are dating sites for men to find overweight or even obese women? There was a girl that was REMOVED from instagram for posting an offensive picture. The picture was of an overweight girl in a bikini. They actually REMOVED a teenage girls account for being "offensive" when the situation went viral they apologized and reinstated the account. From your post it sounds like youre all for it. That is NOT okay by ANY standards!!!! Who in the hell thinks it is okay to do that to ANY HUMAN BEING? Every shade of wrong. To the original poster what if there is a pea on this board that is overweight that wears a bikini reading YOUR post - how in the world do you think that you just made her feel?? Mean, mean, mean. Sorry I am so angry, but who in the hell thinks it's okay to prejudge anyone on weight? Most will not care but I have absolutely no respect for ANYONE who would make another person feel bad about themselves to be mean. That's exactly what this thread is.....MEAN |
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Post by Pahina722 on Jul 31, 2014 1:40:25 GMT
TO YOU. Maybe she doesn't swing that way. Maybe you finding her attractive is NOT why she or anyone wears a bikini. Holy crap Caro I am telling you that you are dead wrong!!! I will absolutely and positively say that I should not post because the fact that this thread was even created has me beyond pissed off! My husband has gained weight since we have been married due to medication. I love him and married him because of the person he is, not because of how much he weighs! I absolutely and positively find him attractive - because of who he is as a person. Do you even realize that there are dating sites for men to find overweight or even obese women? There was a girl that was REMOVED from instagram for posting an offensive picture. The picture was of an overweight girl in a bikini. They actually REMOVED a teenage girls account for being "offensive" when the situation went viral they apologized and reinstated the account. From your post it sounds like youre all for it. That is NOT okay by ANY standards!!!! Who in the hell thinks it is okay to do that to ANY HUMAN BEING? Every shade of wrong. To the original poster what if there is a pea on this board that is overweight that wears a bikini reading YOUR post - how in the world do you think that you just made her feel?? Mean, mean, mean. Sorry I am so angry, but who in the hell thinks it's okay to prejudge anyone on weight? Most will not care but I have absolutely no respect for ANYONE who would make another person feel bad about themselves to be mean. That's exactly what this thread is.....MEAN And wouldn't you say that you are going out of your way to be MEAN to Caro? She didn't walk up to any of the bikini clad women and berate them about their clothing choice. She didn't use abusive language, yet many on this thread have been absolutely vile to her for a remark that she didn't even realize would upset anyone. I, too, am overweight at 145 and 5' 3" and wouldn't wear a bikini-- not because I care what anyone else thinks but because I don't like how it looks. I'm pretty sure that most of us on this thread HAVE judged others on their clothing choices, so I'm finding the amount of outrage disturbing. |
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Post by *Scrapper*Stamper* on Jul 31, 2014 23:55:11 GMT
Holy crap Caro I am telling you that you are dead wrong!!! I will absolutely and positively say that I should not post because the fact that this thread was even created has me beyond pissed off! My husband has gained weight since we have been married due to medication. I love him and married him because of the person he is, not because of how much he weighs! I absolutely and positively find him attractive - because of who he is as a person. Do you even realize that there are dating sites for men to find overweight or even obese women? There was a girl that was REMOVED from instagram for posting an offensive picture. The picture was of an overweight girl in a bikini. They actually REMOVED a teenage girls account for being "offensive" when the situation went viral they apologized and reinstated the account. From your post it sounds like youre all for it. That is NOT okay by ANY standards!!!! Who in the hell thinks it is okay to do that to ANY HUMAN BEING? Every shade of wrong. To the original poster what if there is a pea on this board that is overweight that wears a bikini reading YOUR post - how in the world do you think that you just made her feel?? Mean, mean, mean. Sorry I am so angry, but who in the hell thinks it's okay to prejudge anyone on weight? Most will not care but I have absolutely no respect for ANYONE who would make another person feel bad about themselves to be mean. That's exactly what this thread is.....MEAN And wouldn't you say that you are going out of your way to be MEAN to Caro? She didn't walk up to any of the bikini clad women and berate them about their clothing choice. She didn't use abusive language, yet many on this thread have been absolutely vile to her for a remark that she didn't even realize would upset anyone. I, too, am overweight at 145 and 5' 3" and wouldn't wear a bikini-- not because I care what anyone else thinks but because I don't like how it looks. I'm pretty sure that most of us on this thread HAVE judged others on their clothing choices, so I'm finding the amount of outrage disturbing. We can agree to disagree no matter how you look at it the fact that she even created this thread is vile to me. I was straight up and told everyone I was speaking emotionally. I find the fact this thread was even created disturbing!!!!! I have seen my mother, my sister and now my husband struggle with weight. It flat out pisses me off she would make such comments. Did that person deserve to be disrespected? Granted they probably didn't know what her opinion is but the whole fact SHE STARTED THIS THREAD was mean and disrespectful to the overweight women she blasted on a public message board. That is not someone I would associate with with such a vile person in real life. You may not LIKE my opinion, but it is my opinion, my feelings, and you sure as hell bet your ads that I'm not trying to impress YOU!!!!!!!!! |
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Aug 1, 2014 0:23:37 GMT
Wow. You do realize she apologized, right? No need to call her vile.
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Post by *Scrapper*Stamper* on Aug 1, 2014 1:17:09 GMT
I absolutely read the thread where she apologized, which in turn sent me to this thread. Doels not change the fact her true colors were revealed in the original post. That is what I have a problem with. You cannot fix a mirror after its broken, you can't words back after they are spoken.
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Post by cadoodlebug on Aug 1, 2014 1:24:16 GMT
I absolutely read the thread where she apologized, which in turn sent me to this thread. Doels not change the fact her true colors were revealed in the original post. That is what I have a problem with. You cannot fix a mirror after its broken, you can't words back after they are spoken. |
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Aug 1, 2014 1:35:58 GMT
I absolutely read the thread where she apologized, which in turn sent me to this thread. Doels not change the fact her true colors were revealed in the original post. That is what I have a problem with. You cannot fix a mirror after its broken, you can't words back after they are spoken. Right? |
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Post by *Scrapper*Stamper* on Aug 2, 2014 3:50:37 GMT
I have no problem apologizing IF I am wrong. No matter how you look at it she made derogatory comments about overweight people. I do have a problem with that since my husband is overweight eats right and works out two hours a day. He
.works hard so why is it okay for her to disrespect him for something she knows nothing about? I'm telling you that it is NOT okay to treat another HUMAN BEING that way. By the way the responses are coming to me it's okay on the peas refugees board but not okay for real life by my opinion and aminsulted by the comments. I am a momma beamed she it comes to the man who has supported me the past 14 years I am going to defend him and not accept the derogarory comments!!! [HASH]
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:15:15 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2014 3:56:24 GMT
I have no problem apologizing IF I am wrong. No matter how you look at it she made derogatory comments about overweight people. I do have a problem with that since my husband is overweight eats right and works out two hours a day. He .works hard so why is it okay for her to disrespect him for something she knows nothing about? I'm telling you that it is NOT okay to treat another HUMAN BEING that way. By the way the responses are coming to me it's okay on the peas refugees board but not okay for real life by my opinion and aminsulted by the comments. I am a momma beamed she it comes to the man who has supported me the past 14 years I am going to defend him and not accept the derogarory comments!!! [HASH] Actually, you sound like a big, abusive bully to me. |
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 20:15:15 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2014 4:02:23 GMT
Tell you what, Caro. You and I can go hang out on a beach or a water park, and we'll both make fun of my fat ass. Do I like my bathing suit size? Nah. But I also know that remarks only hurt me if I let them. And I choose not to let them. My weight is a disappointment, but it's not a deal breaker on living my life. So I'll join in on the laugh and move on.
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ingrid
Full Member
Posts: 490
Jun 26, 2014 0:52:41 GMT
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Post by ingrid on Aug 2, 2014 5:08:16 GMT
I have no problem apologizing IF I am wrong. No matter how you look at it she made derogatory comments about overweight people. I do have a problem with that since my husband is overweight eats right and works out two hours a day. He .works hard so why is it okay for her to disrespect him for something she knows nothing about? I'm telling you that it is NOT okay to treat another HUMAN BEING that way. By the way the responses are coming to me it's okay on the peas refugees board but not okay for real life by my opinion and aminsulted by the comments. I am a momma beamed she it comes to the man who has supported me the past 14 years I am going to defend him and not accept the derogarory comments!!! [HASH] I don't know if you're in the habit of knocking back a bottle of coffee brandy and taking to the internet to find people to yell at or what, but this is like the thread about a family vacation and a dying dog where you went berserk and started throwing out F-bombs and telling people you despised them. Calm down. |
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Post by gar on Aug 2, 2014 10:16:31 GMT
I have no problem apologizing IF I am wrong. No matter how you look at it she made derogatory comments about overweight people. I do have a problem with that since my husband is overweight eats right and works out two hours a day. He .works hard so why is it okay for her to disrespect him for something she knows nothing about? I'm telling you that it is NOT okay to treat another HUMAN BEING that way. By the way the responses are coming to me it's okay on the peas refugees board but not okay for real life by my opinion and aminsulted by the comments. I am a momma beamed she it comes to the man who has supported me the past 14 years I am going to defend him and not accept the derogarory comments!!! [HASH] So you have *never* looked at a stranger and had an opinion on what they wore/their haircut/their tattoo/their.....anything? She didn't *treat* anyone badly, she *thought* things and last I heard thoughts were not policed. Yes, she voiced her opinions but then she apologised for the upset she caused. As you mentioned, we're all human and as such are liable to make mistakes - apart from you? |
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opeaone
New Member
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Post by opeaone on Aug 2, 2014 12:37:39 GMT
I am guilty as well. Not so much body shaming, but more the "don't wear it if it doesn't it!!" It doesn't look good, and I would be pissed at friends who wouldn't say so before we headed out.
I am NOT skinny. I also go to the waterpark almost daily in the summer (season pass holder). I have seen plenty of girls my size in bikini's and they are ROCKING them. Why? Because they are the right size, and fit. (yes they make plus size bikini's). I also tend to judge the skinny girls wearing super small bikinis and then acting all surprised when their tops slip off etc. after going down a ride. If I see your nipples more than once, your bathing suit doesn't fit, or isn't made to wear at a waterpark.
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Post by *Scrapper*Stamper* on Aug 2, 2014 23:02:07 GMT
I have no problem apologizing IF I am wrong. No matter how you look at it she made derogatory comments about overweight people. I do have a problem with that since my husband is overweight eats right and works out two hours a day. He .works hard so why is it okay for her to disrespect him for something she knows nothing about? I'm telling you that it is NOT okay to treat another HUMAN BEING that way. By the way the responses are coming to me it's okay on the peas refugees board but not okay for real life by my opinion and aminsulted by the comments. I am a momma beamed she it comes to the man who has supported me the past 14 years I am going to defend him and not accept the derogarory comments!!! [HASH] So you have *never* looked at a stranger and had an opinion on what they wore/their haircut/their tattoo/their.....anything? She didn't *treat* anyone badly, she *thought* things and last I heard thoughts were not policed. Yes, she voiced her opinions but then she apologised for the upset she caused. As you mentioned, we're all human and as such are liable to make mistakes - apart from you? Sorry but I do not prejuge people on appearance. That was how I was raised. I am not denying she apologized,what I am saying is that it is sickening that the post was even created |
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refupea #245
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My original pea date was November 1999 and my number was 1803
