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Post by Penellopy on Jul 29, 2014 1:28:42 GMT
I work with a woman who is constantly on the phone trying to solve the multi-faceted problems of her entire family or reading her bible and daily devotionals. She has been talked to about all of this by the owner of the company (we don't have a true HR dept.) It will stop for a while or she spends time outside on her cell phone thinking no one will notice.
There are some changes coming to our area in a few weeks and she is aware of those. The one thing she is not aware of is I have been asked if she should be replaced since I will heading up our department. In essence, she will be working for me and not just with me. I get along with her and she does good work if she is focused, but lately she is only focused on her family and religious issues.
How do you tell a co-worker she needs to leave these issues at the front door without hurting her feelings?
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Post by doxielady on Jul 29, 2014 1:35:38 GMT
Having been a manager for years, I can say that I don' know that I would approach the issue thinking whether or not it would hurt her feelings.
I would approach it from an issue of professionalism. Work needs to be done at work, and home stuff needs to be taken care of outside of work.
And make it fair. Make sure that the rules apply to everyone. Ensure that everyone is held to same standard.
Make sure that she understands what the consequences are if she doesn't comply. Then document. Then follow through if she doesn't comply.
Good luck!
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ddly
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,019
Jul 10, 2014 19:36:28 GMT
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Post by ddly on Jul 29, 2014 1:46:51 GMT
It sounds as though her performance is not going to change long-term. I think you need to make a decision as to whether or not you are willing to take her on. If her personal life is impacting her ability to do her job I wouldn't want her on my team and I wouldn't want to be responsible for supervising her.
I would be concerned that by talking to her she will change, but then won't sustain the effort and go back to what she's doing now.
Business is business and personal his personal. She can't separate the two.
Lisa D.
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cycworker
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Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Jul 29, 2014 1:46:56 GMT
When you say constantly.... how often do you really mean? How much of her work day is it taking up? And how much of a productivity problem is it causing.
I would be REALLY careful re: the Bible reading piece of this one. Certainly, on her breaks, if she wants to read her Bible, it's not your place to say she can't. So I would make sure she understands it's not about her faith.
While I generally agree with doxielady re: work at work, home stuff at home, that's not entirely realistic. I have rarely seen a workplace where there is no time when you just have to deal with something personal during the work day. I always felt badly for my mother, in fact, because she liked me to check in after school but I knew that if she was busy to just leave a msg. She worked at one school where it took AGES before her secretary would listen when I said "Please don't interrupt her; please just let her know I called." Before I could get a word out, she'd be putting me through, no matter WHAT Mom was doing, or who she was with.
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Post by Megan on Jul 29, 2014 1:51:12 GMT
If the company is willing to replace her, I'd ask for the replacement
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Post by smokeynspike on Jul 29, 2014 3:42:18 GMT
People rarely change. Are you willing to put up with an employee continuing to do something she has been asked repeatedly to not do? It is unlikely she will change long-term.
Melissa
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 14:33:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 29, 2014 3:55:04 GMT
How much of her day is taken up by these activities? I wouldn't care what she's doing, solving drama, reading the bible or doing handstands in the loo, it's done on work time. If you feel she's incapable of fixing this, by all means, let her go. But I'd counsel her to keep her personal stuff to her breaks/lunch etc.
We all do things during the day not work related..yours may be different than hers, all depends on how much time she's devoting to it. Work comes first.
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Post by cherrie on Jul 29, 2014 4:23:31 GMT
I once worked in an office with a lot of fun but salty characters and one very religious lady. She was always humming religious hymns and if someone was joking around she got louder and louder. It was annoying but kind of funny with her trying to drown out the evil.
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Post by scrapsuzy on Jul 29, 2014 4:44:38 GMT
They've given you the option of replacing her? Then I would do it, and especially if you aren't the one who has to fire her. But even if you are, I would still do it. It's not personal, it's work. Don't worry about hurting her feelings. That's what males in the workplace think we do, worry about feelings too much! So don't. Look at it professionally and go from there.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
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Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Jul 29, 2014 5:39:29 GMT
I work with a woman who is constantly on the phone trying to solve the multi-faceted problems of her entire family or reading her bible and daily devotionals. She has been talked to about all of this by the owner of the company (we don't have a true HR dept.) It will stop for a while or she spends time outside on her cell phone thinking no one will notice. There are some changes coming to our area in a few weeks and she is aware of those. The one thing she is not aware of is I have been asked if she should be replaced since I will heading up our department. In essence, she will be working for me and not just with me. I get along with her and she does good work if she is focused, but lately she is only focused on her family and religious issues. How do you tell a co-worker she needs to leave these issues at the front door without hurting her feelings? She needs telling straight, as her job may be in the line. You will do her no favours if you tiptoe around the subject, so that she doesn't actually understand the seriousness of the message. If you find yourself running the dept, you will have to stamp on her, hard, or her poor performance will impact on the perception of how you are managing the dept. Personally, I would have huge issues with people who bothered me with their religious views on the company's time. Or any other time, come to that . Also, she isn't actually pulling her weight. She is taking a wage for a job that she isn't actually doing. How does she square that with her conscience? Good luck. Be firm!
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Post by anniefb on Jul 29, 2014 5:47:27 GMT
You've had some great advice. Guess the only thing I'd add is make sure you're complying with any company procedures or terms of her contract in dealing with performance issues. I don’t know about the position in the US but it's a real minefield here!
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Post by AN on Jul 29, 2014 11:54:19 GMT
With you moving into a management position, this will be the perfect time to set new expectations with all staff, not just her - but especially with her. I'd recommend using some sort of formal (but not off-putting) document. If your company doesn't have a performance agreement for general use (not improvement), private message me and I'd be happy to send you the one I use. It is a SUPER helpful tool for new managers. Basically, take 30 minutes and sit down individually with each employee and go over what they need out of the job to feel fulfilled, what is working for them, what things they could use help with; then you go over what you need them to accomplish/do to be happy with their performance. It isn't a big formal thing, it is really just documenting what will get both sides what they need. This is a totally appropriate time to bring this issue up with her in a larger context of creating a good work environment, rather than it feeling like you're only approaching her on this single issue. If, after you document it and have clear expectations that she has agreed to, she continues the bad behavior, then replacing her might be the right course of action. You can revisit these performance agreements every 1 - 3 months. I only have 4 team members, so I schedule an hour with each of them every month (we're all remote, so it's even more important, hence the frequency/length) just to reconnect. It isn't formal, we just kind of talk about how things are going and then casually visit how they are progressing against that agreement. Every 3 months is probably more appropriate for many workplaces. My folks LOVE it though, because they feel like it is their chance to be heard, to bring up future-looking issues, ask questions about what is going on in the workplace, etc all in a safe environment. We got away from doing it for a little while after some team changes and when things were going really smoothly, and they specifically asked that we start doing the agreements and conversations again. You certainly can just address this single issue with her, but as you're moving into management, I'd really encourage you to look at your larger management style, how it fits into your company's expectations, and set up some processes and systems now that give you a good connection to everyone you're managing and an ability to address issues with them without every single time you have a meeting with them being a corrective discussion. PM me if you want to chat more or want that document
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Post by AN on Jul 29, 2014 11:57:59 GMT
By the way, using these agreements is going to reflect well on you. If you CAN get her to consistently turn around her behavior in the first 30 - 60 days, the owner is going to be impressed because it is something they haven't been able to do up until now. While it can be hard and frustrating at times, helping an employee turn around their performance is a really rewarding experience to have as a manager. And if you do have to let them go, you know that you did everything you could to try to help them live up to their capabilities.
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mallie
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Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Jul 29, 2014 12:04:12 GMT
Why are you worrying about hurting her feelings?
It's work, not personal life.
You don't need to be mean, but you don't need to be wishy washy and vague about it either.
If someone is in danger of losing their job, isn't the nicer thing to do is to warn them and give them specifics about how to improve?
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TankTop
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Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Jul 29, 2014 12:06:02 GMT
AN ---- I love your approach.
One of the most frustrating things I have experienced in my career is a lack of direction for improvement. I am the kind of person who wants to get better all the time. It is frustrating when a supervisor just looks at you and says you are doing great. I know there are things I could improve on---- help direct me! Drives me nuts.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jul 29, 2014 12:09:16 GMT
The two things that stand out for me are the question above and...
To address the first -- she will no longer be your co-worker if you are being moved up to a supervisory position where she will work for you. You are going to have to make that switch successfully yourself or the other people in the office never will. Start thinking like a manager. And to the second -- if she's a good worker and the distractions are a more recent development, then I would think it's quite hopeful you can turn her back to a more focused employee.
As AN pointed out, this time of change in the office is the perfect time to address this. I like her idea of a simple document and face-to-face with everyone. The employees cannot meet your expectations if they do not clearly know what they are.
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