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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Mar 20, 2016 23:49:18 GMT
I would still call and make the complaint. Please, please understand, by approaching you in a threateningly (or even just accusing) manner, the husband has escalated the situation and will continue to do so. As women, we tend to want to be nice, even at the expense of our own wellbeing. I advise you to prioritize yourself first. You owe them nothing. That's exactly how I feel. I'm very torn because I was raised not to cause any trouble and to always put other people first. It was ingrained in me that you smile and say please and thank you and nothing else should come out of your mouth. I'm very concerned that by calling the police I escalated the situation and I'm really nervous to do it again. I shouldn't be, but I am. I also thought it was interesting that the mom pleaded homelessness and wouldn't take them in herself! What would you tell a fellow pea if she said, "My druggy, alcoholic neighbors make me feel threatened and I'm worried that by calling the police and filing noise complaints that I will make them angry enough to escalate the situation further, and I'm afraid to walk to my car." ? Would you tell that pea, well then shush up, hide in your home, and don't complain? Or would you tell her, You do whatever it takes to feel safe, even if that includes making more police complaints? By the way, I would make no secret to the police that the husband has behaved in a threatening manner to you. Document, document, document!
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Post by shamrock on Mar 20, 2016 23:50:16 GMT
Their choices are not your fault. If their behavior ends up with them being homeless again, as the mother told you, that is not your fault. She was trying to guilt you into ignoring the problems. Report the problems. Do you have any knowledge that your complaints to the HOA have actually been forwarded to the owner of the unit? If you don't, I'd make sure that person knows the problems going on with the renters.
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Post by chaosisapony on Mar 20, 2016 23:53:33 GMT
Do you have any knowledge that your complaints to the HOA have actually been forwarded to the owner of the unit? If you don't, I'd make sure that person knows the problems going on with the renters. Yes I do. I'm on our HOA board and have spoken to him directly at our quarterly meetings. He is VERY aware of what is going on but doesn't want to do anything about it because they pay their rent on time. He generally just acts annoyed at me bringing it up and takes no responsibility, just tells me I have to call the police.
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suzastampin
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,587
Jun 28, 2014 14:32:59 GMT
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Post by suzastampin on Mar 20, 2016 23:59:01 GMT
Do you have a voice recorder or tape machine? I'd start taping every time they are loud or fighting, along with jotting down day and time. Then I'd be playing it for the property manager and the landlord. Wonder how the place looks. Maybe the landlord would be more interested in his place if he heard what you have to live with. That's a good idea. I think it is illegal in California to record someone without their knowledge. However if I'm just recording the sounds in my unit.... Oh, didn't think of that. In NY, only one party has to know. But, I agree...you're just recording something from TV or something.
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Post by scrapmaven on Mar 21, 2016 0:13:48 GMT
I wonder if the mother pays the rent on time for them? You need a safe, quiet, peaceful home. You paid a lot of money to purchase that condo and you have a right to feel at home. Though you had a bad time w/CPS, perhaps they can help this little baby who is growing up in a horrible environment. Call CPS and keep calling the police when warranted. Meanwhile, if there are issues that could get the landlord sued or at least in troube then call that person and point it out while threatening them or contact a lawyer and see if you have legal grounds. If so, maybe the lawyer can pen a threatening letter to the landlord and/or HOA. The HOA isn't doing the job you pay for, so there must be something you can do. The mother needs to let them hit bottom and I would hope that the mother tried to fight for custody of the baby. Sadly, it sounds like she's too busy enabling her dd. You live there. She does not. Do what it takes to get your home back. If the husband threatens you immediately go to the police, HOA and Landlord.
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Post by Basket1lady on Mar 21, 2016 0:16:10 GMT
I'd still call. If they get kicked out, that is on them for their behavior. If the mom is worried, she can take them in. Is pot legal where you live? If not, I might call on it. Do you have an alarm? With them not worki ng, being on drugs, and knowing when you are and aren't gome, I'd be getting one. I'd also carry mace or bee spray if I truly worried about my safety Recreational pot is not legal. Medicinal is. I have no idea if they have a medical card or not. I inquired with the sheriff's office and they said that there wasn't anything they could do about it. That pot smoking is either in violation of their lease agreement or it isn't. I asked their landlord and he said he's never had to deal with it before so there's no mention of it in their lease. He doesn't like pot but feels his hands are tied and can't do anything about it. To be honest I wouldn't really care about medicinal pot if that was the only thing going on. I don't have an alarm but I should consider getting one. Also a great idea on the mace. I've always felt so comfortable here that I'm very out of sorts right now and don't know what to do. The mace alone would make me feel a lot better. Surely marijuana use is a violation of her parole? Maybe you could get lucky with that approach.
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Post by anniefb on Mar 21, 2016 0:16:40 GMT
That's exactly how I feel. I'm very torn because I was raised not to cause any trouble and to always put other people first. It was ingrained in me that you smile and say please and thank you and nothing else should come out of your mouth. I'm very concerned that by calling the police I escalated the situation and I'm really nervous to do it again. I shouldn't be, but I am. I also thought it was interesting that the mom pleaded homelessness and wouldn't take them in herself! What would you tell a fellow pea if she said, "My druggy, alcoholic neighbors make me feel threatened and I'm worried that by calling the police and filing noise complaints that I will make them angry enough to escalate the situation further, and I'm afraid to walk to my car." ? Would you tell that pea, well then shush up, hide in your home, and don't complain? Or would you tell her, You do whatever it takes to feel safe, even if that includes making more police complaints? By the way, I would make no secret to the police that the husband has behaved in a threatening manner to you. Document, document, document!
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Post by realm on Mar 21, 2016 0:28:56 GMT
I would make the call absolutely. I would also continue to call the police when they are loud and noisy late ate night as well. If they end up being kicked out, then that would be because of their own actions not yours.
And honestly, the mom telling you they would be out on the street means she has no intentions of letting them stay with her so that speaks volumes as well.
You have a right to reasonable enjoyment of your home. The noise they are making going far beyond reasonable IMO.
Good luck.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 5:25:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2016 0:34:46 GMT
The next time you smell pot smoke, call 911. The cops will come and deal with it and the landlord will have to do some thing about it. We had a similar instance and talked to our local precinct and that's what they told us to do.
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. They don't get a free pass just cuz they are trying to get it together. And continuing to do drugs doesn't constitute getting it together.
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Post by littlemama on Mar 21, 2016 0:40:55 GMT
Our condo association requires landlords to inform them of renters of units and requires a background check. In addition, the owner of the unit is responsible for the behavior of the renters. If we wanted to live in an apartment complex, we would, but condo owners and residents are held to a much higher standard. I would be calling the police every time I smelled pot. I would also be reviewing the condo bylaws to see why they aren't stricter for subleases.
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Post by chaosisapony on Mar 21, 2016 0:51:03 GMT
homeless...don't work, this must be section 8 housing. I would ask your HOA to vote to not allow those types of rentals. You also need to force your HOA to step up, it's their purpose to help in these issues. Maybe you should instead get a seat on the HOA to help them be more productive. Perhaps alerting CPS to all the fighting might quiet them down. Even if you move you could encounter the same thing. But look for a building that has a limit on the number of rentals allowed. When you move in tear down the walls and add extra sound insulation, my friend did this. I missed this earlier. I am on the HOA board already. We're a small assocation, 16 units and a 4 person board. I've always appreciated the fact that when we have issues we get them fixed quickly and tend to be very friendly and informal with each other. I'm seeing the down side to that now. What I need to do is dig out a copy of our bylaws and house rules and find out exactly which are being violated. I'm pretty sure the only two are vulgarity in common spaces and violating quiet hours 10pm-7am. The more I think about it the more I want to move into a small house. There is a different condo complex not far away that you only share sidewalls with neighbors and they have clauses on how many units can be rentals whereas we do not. I think it would be a lot nicer over there but... it was great here for 9 years too. It will be difficult finding a house in my price range but if I stick with it I'm sure I can find something.
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Post by freecharlie on Mar 21, 2016 0:53:19 GMT
One tenant across the courtyard complained to me but doesn't want to get involved by filing a formal complaint because they are scared. Since no one else has complained to the HOA they aren't considering it a "global problem" which is why they are not taking steps to help me. Tell the person across the way this. It won't get better until they step up too. That's a good idea. I think it is illegal in California to record someone without their knowledge. However if I'm just recording the sounds in my unit.... I would double check, but I can't imagine they have an expectation of privacy in YOUR home and since you have told them you can hear them
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 5:25:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2016 0:57:21 GMT
Well, did the mom make it seem like they would try to improve their behavior? I might give it a day or two to see if things improve. And then I'd report it. You're right, you deserve your peace and quiet. She did. But the mom also said these things have been going on since she was a teenager. Someone stuck her mugshot and a copy of her arrest record in my patio last week and it's quite extensive beginning 10 years ago when she was 18. So I'm skeptical that she's going to be able to change now. This is often a dilemma with wanting to give people second chances. And I am personally all for second chances, but as kind as it is to give second chances you also cannot believe that by your actions alone, it will ensure their path to redemption is a success. To be given a second chance still means they are accountable for their behavior. I think you have made your complaints correctly so far and I think you should continue giving them as they arise. To give someone a second chance, doesn't mean you should sacrifice your wellbeing and feel unsafe.
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Post by Really Red on Mar 21, 2016 1:09:03 GMT
I agree with everyone else. Call. I'm really, really REALLY sad and sorry about them, but it's not fair to you. It sucks, but you have to report them.
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styxgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,875
Jun 27, 2014 4:51:44 GMT
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Post by styxgirl on Mar 21, 2016 1:10:37 GMT
They can go live with the wife's mother. They shouldn't be your problem.
I would for sure report it!
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Post by tinydogmafia on Mar 21, 2016 1:59:27 GMT
Do I still call and report to the property manager what happened with the husband? I truly don't feel safe here when they are home. I'm constantly on edge about the drinking and drug use with them and their guests as well as the screaming and noise problems and the recent confrontation. Yes, you should call. You need a paper trail. Next time you smell drugs, call the police. I am as pro-marijuana as they come, but if it's going hand and hand with bad behavior, you need to stop it. There's a small child living in the apartment, so keep that in mind. They are intimidating you and now the mother is attempting to manipulate you into feeling sorry for them. They are not your problem. What is your problem is that your living situation is now unsatisfactory, and you're the only person who can change that. Either by selling, or by continuing to report them to the right people. You need to be documenting every time there is a problem. Whether it is something as simple as yelling, or more menacing like him harassing you outside. I'd warm him once. You harass me again, I'll call 911, and mean it when you say it. If you warn him and he continues to harass you, you call the police. Follow through. Don't let them continue to harass you. It's your home and you have the right to feel safe in your home. Good luck!
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Post by chaosisapony on Mar 21, 2016 2:06:24 GMT
I officially feel validated. I can't believe I let the mom get to me this afternoon and started to wonder if I should report it or not. I'll be calling the property manager first thing tomorrow morning and emailing for a paper trail. I will also be putting background checks for renters before the board at our next meeting. I will update the peas if anything happens after my call. Thanks everyone!
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Post by jamielynn on Mar 21, 2016 3:20:02 GMT
I would absolutely still report it. This wasn't a one time thing, it's ongoing, you've tried dealing with them, with the property manager, and the police. Now they are making you feel unsafe. They won't be homeless if the mom takes them in, and if they aren't that bad and working on things; why wouldn't she? ?
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Post by destined2bmom on Mar 21, 2016 3:42:45 GMT
I agree with everyone else. You need to report it. It's ashame that you have lived there for so long and now these loosers come in and make you feel so threatened and unable to relax in your own home.
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Post by chaosisapony on Mar 21, 2016 3:47:04 GMT
I agree with everyone else. You need to report it. It's ashame that you have lived there for so long and now these loosers come in and make you feel so threatened and unable to relax in your own home. That's just it, I feel really disappointed. I have put a ton of work into this place and I am two short projects away from finally having everything exactly as I envisioned when I bought it. And now this? Really? Since last summer I just kept telling myself "Do no let renters drive you out of your home..." but now I'm seeing that may be the only solution to save my sanity.
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Post by alexa11 on Mar 21, 2016 3:59:02 GMT
If the mother is so concerned why doe she not take them in so they would not be homeless? She wants you to put up with their crap, but is not willing to put up with it herself. That should tell you something right there. Call Exactly!
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 21, 2016 13:03:43 GMT
Well, evidently the wife has a mother who is in touch with her. The wife and baby can go to mom's house if it is an emergency. Unless mom isn't comfortable with that, in which case she should ask herself why she is asking a complete stranger to be comfortable with them. I agree!
Report it to the HOA.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 5:25:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2016 13:11:33 GMT
It pisses me off that the landlord is so willing to just look the other way because he gets his rent on time. Money trumps your peace of mind. I'm so sorry!
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Post by salem on Mar 21, 2016 13:12:24 GMT
Don't let them run you out of your home. I can't stand the smell of pot, and the constant fighting would make me bananas. I feel sorry for that little kid growing up with those morons, but I highly doubt this is ONLY their second chance. The fact that the Woman's Mother is stepping in to make excuses for them speaks volumes. I'm sure she's as disgusted with them as you are. Good luck. I know you are concerned about your safety and that seems pretty valid from his confrontation. It's not going to stop though. I'm surprised their loser landlord isn't more concerned about what his tenants are up to. Make the report to the police.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,394
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Mar 21, 2016 13:25:49 GMT
Report them. Their hard luck story wouldn't cut any ice with me. Why on earth is this baby still with them?
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Post by jemali on Mar 21, 2016 13:45:15 GMT
I'd still call. If they get kicked out, that is on them for their behavior. If the mom is worried, she can take them in. Is pot legal where you live? If not, I might call on it. Do you have an alarm? With them not worki ng, being on drugs, and knowing when you are and aren't gome, I'd be getting one. I'd also carry mace or bee spray if I truly worried about my safety Recreational pot is not legal. Medicinal is. I have no idea if they have a medical card or not. I inquired with the sheriff's office and they said that there wasn't anything they could do about it. That pot smoking is either in violation of their lease agreement or it isn't. I asked their landlord and he said he's never had to deal with it before so there's no mention of it in their lease. He doesn't like pot but feels his hands are tied and can't do anything about it. To be honest I wouldn't really care about medicinal pot if that was the only thing going on. I don't have an alarm but I should consider getting one. Also a great idea on the mace. I've always felt so comfortable here that I'm very out of sorts right now and don't know what to do. The mace alone would make me feel a lot better. How can smoking pot (assuming it is not medicinal, which seems pretty unlikely) not be a violation of their lease, if it is illegal?
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Post by miominmio on Mar 21, 2016 13:51:34 GMT
Another vote for report them. One of them threatens you? Call the police. And call the CPS for that poor baby's sake.
However: if several of the units are rentals now, there is a very real risk that this will happen again. Not everyone who rents are drug addicts (very far from it, and many drug addicts are good neighbours) but unfortunately a high percentage of rentals means that the risk of having less than desireable neighbours increases, it's a fact of life wherever you live. If I were you, I would contact the neighbour who didn't want to get involved, and point out this to him/her. Where I used to live, an increasing number of rentals in a neighbourhood meant decreasing property values. We were among those who got out of the neighbourhood early, but those who waited a few years, experienced this (my MIL and FIL were among those who should have sold earlier). It might be wise to sell and move now, while you still have the option of selling it for a good price.
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Post by pierkiss on Mar 21, 2016 14:03:19 GMT
Yes you still call and report every noise violation and every instance of breaking the rules of your HOA and the police for the drug use. Their problems are not your problems. You should not have to live in an environment like that. Her mother might care if they get kicked out of that condo, but clearly they do not, or they would have changed their behavior.
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Post by sbartist on Mar 21, 2016 15:32:03 GMT
We live in a condo as well (purchasing) but there are a lot of units with renters. A neighbor below us was smoking pot on their lanai, and the smell wafted upwards and into our unit. Our windows/sliders are open almost 24/7 as we do not have AC. I do not want to smell it. So I contacted the management company, they had me put my complaint in writing and they sent a letter to the tenant and owner. I have not smelled it since, although my son says he can still smell it. I don't care if they smoke inside their unit, just don't smoke it on the lanai. I do have a copy of the letter that was sent, if you are interested in what it says, let me know.
Editing to add: I need to finish reading your OP because I see this is just one issue of many. Scrollerblading back to read.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Mar 21, 2016 15:59:15 GMT
I would still call. The mother obviously knows their behavior is unacceptable and her stepping in to try to "protect" them would bother me even more... They've had multiple warnings, you've gone through all the right hoops and completely deserve the right to feel safe in/around your own home! I'm all for giving someone who's down on their luck chances, but they've lived above you for QUITE a while and the issues have been constant. Like someone else said-- if they get kicked out, it's not because of you, it's because of their own actions.
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