The Birdhouse Lady
Drama Llama
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,175
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Mar 21, 2016 17:28:12 GMT
I would really hate for you to have to move and honestly who is going to be interested in purchasing your condo with all that is happening upstairs.
What needs to happen is these bozos need to move. I am with the others that say you should call. (Since it is Monday morning, I am sure you already have).
I have a different impression of the wife's mother. I feel like she is just as exasperated as you and generally feels bad that you are having to deal with their nonsense. If I were the wife's mother, I wouldn't want to take them in either, although I would take the baby. This is a long time issue with the wife and I highly doubt that the mother can do anything to change her behavior.
I do feel for you. I hope you can get this resolved and get them to move. Remember call and document everything. The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
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Post by blondiec47 on Mar 21, 2016 17:39:47 GMT
Are they fighting with each other? If so, call in a domestic distrubance call to the police. I also agree document document document. I would also look into see if there is anything you can do as the landlord does not seem to care especially if they are doing drugs. Is there a place where someone in your situation can go for help, like a housing court type of thing? I am so sorry you are going through this, I had an upstairs neighbor once who was a local postitute, she would have sex every night to the point where my bedroom mirror was bounce on my wall, it was amusing at first, but old real fast--thankfully she did not have someone to help with her rent and she was gone before too long.
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Post by krc11 on Mar 21, 2016 17:42:52 GMT
If they get kicked out again, why can't they stay with Mom? I think she realized that if they got kicked out again, with the baby now, that she would have to let them stay with her. She was clearly trying to guilt you so she didnt' feel guilty about not taking them in.
You need to protect yourself. If behavior doesn't change (and I'd be surprised if it did) and he is making you uncomfortable, call and report them.
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Post by rainangel on Mar 21, 2016 18:23:27 GMT
If they don't want to be homeless, then don't act like asshats. It is THEIR behaviour that will get them kicked out. You are not responsible for people acting like that, you are well within your rights to complain and call the cops, and try to stay safe. If they truly want to keep living there, they will cut the crap out. Right now it sounds like they are just trying to see how long they can keep up their asshat behaviour before they are kicked out. Animals.... And that baby needs something better than growing up in that environment!
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,643
Location: The Grand Canyon
Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Mar 21, 2016 18:30:50 GMT
I would still call and make the complaint. Please, please understand, by approaching you in a threateningly (or even just accusing) manner, the husband has escalated the situation and will continue to do so. As women, we tend to want to be nice, even at the expense of our own wellbeing. I advise you to prioritize yourself first. You owe them nothing. That's exactly how I feel. I'm very torn because I was raised not to cause any trouble and to always put other people first. It was ingrained in me that you smile and say please and thank you and nothing else should come out of your mouth. I'm very concerned that by calling the police I escalated the situation and I'm really nervous to do it again. I shouldn't be, but I am. I also thought it was interesting that the mom pleaded homelessness and wouldn't take them in herself! Read The Gift of Fear - that should get you over being nice. You've taken the proper steps and I agree you should feel safe in your home and should not have to put up with their crap, especially feeling threatened. I agree with documenting everything, protecting yourself, and continuing to report. And the audacity of the mom to run interference - she can take them in if she's so worried. I would've been tempted to get her number and call every time there was an issue (joking - but seriously - where does she get off?).
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,643
Location: The Grand Canyon
Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Mar 21, 2016 18:39:32 GMT
I also agree with what others are saying about your board and complex. I live in a townhome complex and there is a limit on how many units can be rented. And for good reason - renters don't always share the same feelings about where they live and taking care of their home and being a responsible member of the community. A high number of units also affects resale value and I would think the owners would be concerned about that (unless people purchased condos with the purpose to rent them out).
We bought our townhome a few years ago and the mortgage company really scrutinized the HOA, number of units/renters, financial papers, etc. I don't know what it is like in CA (I'm in NY), but selling your home could potentially be difficult depending on what who is buying. I hope it doesn't come to you moving. Hopefully your board is amenable to discussion on changes that will have a positive impact on your community.
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Post by chaosisapony on Mar 21, 2016 18:42:37 GMT
So many of you are right on. I need to get over the fear and stand up for myself. Which just goes against my nature but it's time.
I spoke to my property manager this morning and she was aghast. I regret not calling the police when the man confronted me now and I will certainly do so if it happens again. My property manager sent an email to theirs and we will see what happens. I'm afraid to go home tonight.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Mar 21, 2016 18:51:11 GMT
to be clear, I 'liked' your post because of what you wrote about talking to the property manager and deciding to call the police if anything else happens, NOT the fact that you said you're afraid to go home-- no one should have to feel like that. Just have your cell phone out and ready when you get home, and make sure if he's around that you don't LOOK afraid of him. Because HE'S in the wrong, NOT you. ETA: I agree with what blondiec47 wrote about filing an incident report with the police, so it's on record with them.
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Post by blondiec47 on Mar 21, 2016 18:51:21 GMT
So many of you are right on. I need to get over the fear and stand up for myself. Which just goes against my nature but it's time. I spoke to my property manager this morning and she was aghast. I regret not calling the police when the man confronted me now and I will certainly do so if it happens again. My property manager sent an email to theirs and we will see what happens. I'm afraid to go home tonight. I believe you can still file a police incident report--the police don't really do anything, but there is a file started
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conchita
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,141
Jul 1, 2014 11:25:58 GMT
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Post by conchita on Mar 21, 2016 19:46:42 GMT
So many of you are right on. I need to get over the fear and stand up for myself. Which just goes against my nature but it's time. I spoke to my property manager this morning and she was aghast. I regret not calling the police when the man confronted me now and I will certainly do so if it happens again. My property manager sent an email to theirs and we will see what happens. I'm afraid to go home tonight. It is not too late to have an officer come to your home and make a report. It's serious. You really need to. And convey to the officer all you have shared in your posts with us. The cops told me to call them for *every* thing that my neighbors were doing to cross the line, it's their job. They told me to let them be the "bad" guy in dealing with them. And they did! They recently went over to speak to my neighbor about his guest "digging" out with his vehicle directly in front of my home each time he visited. He strongly warned him of the law regarding that activity and how much the ticket would cost. And that the next call he received he'd be getting a ticket. You need to call the non emergency number. Tell them you'd like an officer to visit you in regards to threats made towards you by your neighbor. They'll come out, hear what you have to say, they may speak to your neighbor to issue a warning (the first necessary step to get the crap to stop) and may give you their card to call on any other issues that occur later. Take care of you and do whatever it takes to make it stop. Show them you mean business. You are in the right and need to stand up for yourself.
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Post by mymindseyedpea on Mar 21, 2016 21:19:26 GMT
If you feel that the mother was just reassuring you out of fear because she is worried they will be homeless then I would still call the property manager. Sometimes consequences have to be drastic to get someone to turn their life around.
If you felt she was being sincere and totally empathic with you then I would hold off and keep a space open for a change for the better for all involved to occur.
If you are open to this idea that I shared with another pea before you can visualize a big bubble of protection in your favorite comfort color surrounding your property and maybe that will help you feel at more ease and maybe even bring more peace and quiet if you want your bubble to have a sound proof shield.
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Post by chaosisapony on Mar 26, 2016 0:10:10 GMT
3/25 update in the OP. We had a decent chat today and I hope things start improving. At least for now I no longer feel threatened.
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 26, 2016 1:09:37 GMT
I like your update. It took courage for your neighbor to come down and talk to you, knowing full well they have been a problem.
Good luck!
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Post by christine58 on Mar 26, 2016 1:17:55 GMT
I did call and complain on Monday and had a long chat with the property manager. She completely understands my frustrations but since no one else in the complex is complaining there is not much that can be done about it. It's an owner/tenant issue not a "global" issue. The wife from upstairs came down and talked to me today and I think it went pretty well. She apologized for their behavior and said they are really trying to get their life together. We exchanged phone numbers and she told me to text her anytime if there is too much noise. I give her a lot of credit for coming down and having a mature conversation and I really hope things improve in this situation now. Great update. I give her kudos for coming and talking to you. I hope it gets better because I know you really like living there.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 8:32:32 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 26, 2016 11:03:18 GMT
If the mother doesn't want them to be homeless and knows they are causing problems there, I say she can just open her own home to them. But since the woman has actually made an effort to smooth things over with you, hopefully the situation will improve. You should be able to feel comfortable and safe in your own home!
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TankTop
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1,871
Posts: 4,775
Location: On the couch...
Jun 28, 2014 1:52:46 GMT
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Post by TankTop on Mar 26, 2016 11:40:29 GMT
Looks like momma got involved. Hopefully things will improve.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Mar 26, 2016 12:12:06 GMT
I think it's bullshit that the property manager won't get involved because their behavior only affects you.
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pudgygroundhog
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,643
Location: The Grand Canyon
Jun 25, 2014 20:18:39 GMT
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Post by pudgygroundhog on Mar 26, 2016 12:30:39 GMT
I think it's BS that the property manager won't take action, but it does sound promising that the wife came down to talk to you. It was probably hard for her to come down and talk to you, so I think it's a good sign she will make an effort to fix the situation. I think it's good if the issues can be resolved on this level.
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