How did you find your life's passion?

I never have been a SAHM, always worked while my son was growing up and still do. We moved two years ago and I had to give up my job and boss, I loved that job, and my boss at the time was very good to me and respected the work I did for him. Even though I am still in the same field after moving, my job is definitely NOT my life's passion. I would love to do something where I feel I am making a difference (I did not feel this way at my previous job). If I could afford not to work, I would most definitely be volunteering. Volunteering, unfortunately does not pay the bills. After our move, I was depressed as well, since it was a huge lifestyle change. I knew why I was depressed. It took about a year for me to get out of my funk.

Good for you realizing you need to speak with someone, even if it is just to vent.

No great ideas from me. Sending positive vibes your way.

I stumbled on it. Unfortunately, it does not make me any money. Like you, I'm a SAHM. I started out two years ago volunteering as class mom, and took on more volunteer work around the school. Then our PTA needed someone to join the executive when the president resigned. I was made vice-president by acclamation, and took over as president by the end of the school year my oldest was in Kindergarten. Started service projects, expanded the scope of our PTA to not just be about money. Started helping families in need in our school community and making sure they were cared for by finding resources (ie. one family lost everything in a fire, so I organized a donation drive, go fund me, meals, etc). We're a Christian school, so the PTA is starting a bible study for parents who are exploring their faith as a result of sending their kids there. Realized that our church needed a ministry for young families and approached my pastor about starting and running a MOPS ministry at our church. When I was talking to him about it, and everything else I do, I told him that I really feel like that is my calling. His face lit up. He told me that so few people make it through their lives and truly find what theirs is. It makes my heart and mind happy. It fulfills me. Never in a million years did I think I would be "boss of the moms" as DS calls me or running a ministry. That alone blows me away.

I am not sure I buy into the whole find your passion thing.

It took me a long time to realize that happiness is not something someone can give to you or take away from you - it is totally up to you.

I've read some of your posts on the old board and depression is a theme that seems to be consistent. Hope you can find a therapist and protocol that will help you.

Our culture is currently geared towards telling us that we all need to find and pursue our passion and our dreams (even to the extent of ignoring responsibilities to others and ourselves).  It's fairly unique in the history of the world that people have enough money and leisure time to have createad the concept.

And honestly, I don't think most people have a passion that is inherent to their natures. I think when people do find a passion it's just that -- they FIND it. They look and discover something that deeply moves and motivates them.  That search can require a lot of time, energy, and money (to say nothing of pursuing it should you find it).


Then there are people -- most people -- who simply don't feel THAT strongly about anything and they are just as happy as the people who do find a passion.

There is a big difference between "finding your passion" and going to a job everyday thinking "why am I doing this? Why am I spending 8-9 hours per day doing something that feels so wrong". This is where I struggle lately.

It took me a long time to realize that I was doing something important: I was giving my children what they needed to be the best humans they could be.  During my time as a SAHM, I home schooled each of my kids for some portion of their academics. My son especially needed a lot of one on one attention. My DD mostly needed a driver and an audience.  Those were important tasks and doing them well played an important part in my kids growing into the well functioning, likable adults that they are today.

Since I finished, or almost finished, that job, I've been a bit lost.  I thought this was going to be a great time for DH and I, but his health issues as well as some personality changes, have made me realize that we each are envisioning very different golden years.  As you might imagine, this is causing some conflict.  I am dealing with it by handling what I can, and giving the rest some time to settle. I have declared this the Year of Me and I am working on making me better than I was at the start of the year.  I hope by the end of the year to be healthier, lighter, and more able to move without pain. I have started a garden, a blog, and a new way of answering the question of "Can I?"  Yes, I can; maybe not all at once, but with some time, I can do whatever I want.

So, my advice to you - focus on what you can handle, on what you can do now, and give the rest some time to settle out.  That doesn't mean sit on your butt (not that you would or are) it means get help for your depression, meet with a counselor, think about what it is that makes you dream of Cali.  Explore your interests, like you would if you were only having to think of yourself and what you want to do. You may not be able to go, as we say in the South, full hog in any one direction, but you can find out if that is a direction that appeals to you.

And give yourself credit for the work you are doing now - being a SAHM IS IMPORTANT!!  You are the nerve center of your family. 

Marcy

Some people think you should be passionate about what you do for a living.  Sometimes, you just need a job.  I have a good job, not my life's passion, but I try to keep a positive attitude.  I was very depressed after losing a job of 25 years when my company closed, and struggled at my new one, but finally figured out it was all in my attitude.

Try to look at little things to be happy or thankful for.  Myself, I have a wonderful family and friends, great coworkers and boss, I have food and shelter.  You can't always control your lot in life but you can choose to look at things positively or negatively.

I love that last part. A sense of satisfaction and some purpose. 

I think we all have times where we look back and had the "shoulda, woulda, coulda"s. I know I do.  Life changes are so challenging.  I'm struggling now with some changes and it's difficult to do that while trying to remain the happy giddy person people expect me to be.

My passion is being a jewelry designer. I basically do it full time on top of working outside the house full time, teaching beadweaving on the weekends, doing shows and have a husband and 2 very active kids.

It is my passion. I make money at it but it took a long time and knowing the right people to encourage me to keep going. A friend of mine convinced me to do a show which led to more shows which led me to meeting gallery owners who loved my pieces and wanted to sell them. That led to me being asked to teach classes at the gallery. I make money doing what I love but I cannot support myself on it. Honestly, if it was a full time, support me job, I wouldn't love it as much as I do.

I did a lot of crafty things and was okay at all of them. Jewelry design is what I am known for. I live it, breathe it, sleep it and will do anything to do it.

My passion or purpose is making the most of whatever situation life hands me. Seriously. Bloom where you're planted and stay open to new opportunities and you'll never be unhappy or lack for purpose.

I don't believe that there is only one correct path for each person or in the concept of "callings." You're in charge of your life.