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Post by lancermom on Apr 4, 2016 22:41:40 GMT
So I oversee a huge fundraising garage sale each year. The sale is this Saturday. 100% of the proceeds go to the kid accounts. We have parents volunteer. insyead of buying things with money, the customers buy tickets and then use those to buy items. This way the cash is centralized. This position that holds all the money has several other things going on. I like having one person lead, and that has done it before.
Sorry long, but have to give a little back story.
Now today, director announces leader for a section. One girl was not chosen. Instead of two seniors, they chose a junior and senior.
Girl not chosen, her mother was the person in charge of above. She calls me and says, I am not working the sale and neither is my husband. And we are not going to have a table either.
This sucks! I have been begging for help, she knows this, and she quits. She thinks she is punishing the director, but it is really punishing the other volunteers and myself.
I wanted to say this, but she is super dramatic and would twisty words.instead I just said sorry and it is ok.
ETA: reason I say kid drama is because, this section always had trouble, so they took extra time to pick leaders.
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scrappert
Prolific Pea
RefuPea #2956
Posts: 7,880
Location: Milwaukee, WI area
Jul 11, 2014 21:20:09 GMT
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Post by scrappert on Apr 4, 2016 22:51:22 GMT
Ugh, that's really sucks. Is amazing how feelings get in the way of being an adult! Not sure what I would do in your situation. Sorry I'm no help! I hope it works it's self out.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 4, 2016 22:56:40 GMT
I hate the attitude of do it my way or I'll take my toys and go home. Seriously, sometimes you just got to put on your big girl panties and suck it up.
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Post by freecharlie on Apr 4, 2016 23:39:23 GMT
Now today, director announces leader for a section. One girl was not chosen. Instead of two seniors, they chose a junior and senior. Has it always been two seniors? |
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Post by refugeepea on Apr 4, 2016 23:49:02 GMT
Now today, director announces leader for a section. One girl was not chosen. Instead of two seniors, they chose a junior and senior. Girl not chosen, her mother was the person in charge of above. She calls me and says, I am not working the sale and neither is my husband. And we are not going to have a table either. Is this school related? Are you referring to band? Wouldn't it be the director's "fault"? I'm using that term loosely. Why punish everyone? If something were to happen and the director needed to fill that spot, it makes that girl look bad. So dumb and makes it harder for people doing the sale. It sounds like the best people were chosen and the mom and dad are pouting because it doesn't follow tradition. Since that is the way they acted, it sounds like the director knew what he was doing. ETA: edited my post to fix losing to using.  |
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Post by lancermom on Apr 5, 2016 0:33:16 GMT
Now today, director announces leader for a section. One girl was not chosen. Instead of two seniors, they chose a junior and senior. Has it always been two seniors? No/yes. If there are mature seniors they get the position. Last year for whatever reason they chose one leader. Then she broke her ankles. Yes both and a week apart. Instead of replacing, they let her stay and watch. It caused a lot of issues, so they decided to start having two. And have a junior. It is for a marching band. Mom is totally not showing maturity. And to boot, all 10th through 12th grade were invited to attend a leadership seminar tonight. The not chosen girl refused to go. |
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Post by freecharlie on Apr 5, 2016 0:40:39 GMT
Well the girl is being a baby, as is the mother, but as a parent of a senior, I probably would only be helping if my child wanted me to as there is no benefit at that point and I would have done it for 3 years.
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hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,642 
Location: Adelaide, Australia
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Post by hannahruth on Apr 5, 2016 10:07:51 GMT
In all honesty I would be glad the person in question will NOT be involved as really who needs that kind of immaturity and possibly causing conflict on the sale day.
I wonder at the example she is showing her daughter and really feel for the girl.Not a very good role model IMHO.
Good luck on the day.
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Post by debmast on Apr 5, 2016 12:22:41 GMT
Parents who act this way explain the kids being how they are.
So she's teaching her daughter, if you don't get what you want, you give up and walk away? Nice.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Apr 5, 2016 12:54:40 GMT
While I think the mother's decision to pull out is somewhat childish, I would be happy she did ahead of time so that I could get it covered.
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Post by BoilerUp! on Apr 5, 2016 15:01:49 GMT
I have nothing more to add other than I have a dramatic 15 yr old, so I feel the pain . . .
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Post by anonrefugee on Apr 5, 2016 15:27:42 GMT
I'm sorry!!! We cureently have a set of parents doing a variation of this. They think they're sending a message to the new coach. Instead they've put other volunteers in a difficult spot- especially since they feel the need to loudly discuss their actions every opportunity!
Their son is now following their example. He's threatening to quit team, and is sad no one's begging him to stay.
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PaperAngel
Prolific Pea
Posts: 7,576
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Apr 5, 2016 15:37:00 GMT
Consider that you may not be privy to the dynamics of this section, those specific senior girls, their parents, &/or the director. Perhaps the girl's family has supported the program over the years, put up with a lot of shenanigans, & feel she earned the honor, but the other girl was chosen instead due to preferential treatment. Or, this family has never supported the program, only signed up this year expecting praise, & felt their daughter was entitled due to her school year. At least the mom had the decency to notify you, rather than just not show up on Saturday.
Given the history of drama, difficulty securing parent volunteers, & poor timing for assigning section leaders, I think you should suggest to the band director that s/he should reconsider future large-scale fundraisers. The parents apparently would prefer to pay for their students' band uniforms, travel, competition fees, etc than make the effort to raise the funds needed.
Best wishes for a successful event!
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Apr 5, 2016 16:06:24 GMT
Has it always been two seniors? No/yes. If there are mature seniors they get the position. Last year for whatever reason they chose one leader. Then she broke her ankles. Yes both and a week apart. Instead of replacing, they let her stay and watch. It caused a lot of issues, so they decided to start having two. And have a junior. It is for a marching band. Mom is totally not showing maturity. And to boot, all 10th through 12th grade were invited to attend a leadership seminar tonight. The not chosen girl refused to go.So basically, girl not chose just proved the band director was correct. Girl is not a leader but a whiner. |
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Post by cannmom on Apr 5, 2016 16:23:51 GMT
I usually try to see things like this as a blessing in disguise. At least this way you don't have to deal with them potentially causing problems during the sale.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,397
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Apr 5, 2016 16:24:32 GMT
You are better off without her sort.
What a fine example she is setting to her child.
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Post by anniefb on Apr 5, 2016 19:24:01 GMT
I hate the attitude of do it my way or I'll take my toys and go home. Seriously, sometimes you just got to put on your big girl panties and suck it up. Yeah that ^^ |
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