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Post by karinms on Apr 6, 2016 22:48:53 GMT
...who barely got her grade 12 education, who works as a nanny, is engaged to a 26 year old who is pressuring her to have a baby. He makes $15 an hour with no hope of moving up.
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Post by shescrafty on Apr 6, 2016 22:51:05 GMT
Think of 5 years down the road. What do you imagine him doing and what do you imagine yourself doing? How does a baby and child fit into that plan?
I hope she makes a smart decision and makes sure she is protecting herself. Any person who pressures another Into having a baby when they do. Not want to is trouble.
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Post by fkawitchypea on Apr 6, 2016 22:57:55 GMT
Please get some sort of education and career before having a baby. If the fiance is not going to be able to provide for them, she will need to have options. And that she should think hard about whether she wants to pay for daycare for her child while she looks after someone else's child(ren) all day.
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
Posts: 3,082 
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Apr 6, 2016 22:59:05 GMT
Honestly? I don't see this scenario as a recipe for success, but one never knows. She's an adult woman and needs to make her own choices.
Generally speaking, the ticket out of poverty is education. Does she have any interest in going to college or learning a trade to enable herself to provide a decent living?
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AnotherPea
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,969
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Post by AnotherPea on Apr 6, 2016 23:01:22 GMT
Are they married?
There is an awesome poster of statistics that I see in schools. It shows the # of people in poverty, based on life choices. It shows that women who are married before they have kids have X chance of avoiding poverty than women who have kids outside of marriage.
I'll see if I can find it somewhere.
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Post by hop2 on Apr 6, 2016 23:08:27 GMT
I would ask her a lot of pointed questions about what she expects out of life. And I ask as often as I can so perhaps she can think it thru by herself.
I would not knock the boyfriend at all as that would probably backfire.
And I would also not enable by paying her bills or bailing her out. As a poster said in another thread if I felt the need to do something I'd sick that money away in a bank account so it's there if/when the person wants to get their life together. I'm definitely keeping that idea in my pocket for future use as it's brilliant.
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Post by scrapmaven on Apr 6, 2016 23:13:32 GMT
If she's "in luuuuuuv" there may not be much you can say that won't driver her further into it. Is this your nanny? I would encourage her to finish her education in a field working w/kids, like teaching or child development, etc. Suggesting that she not marry him won't go far. If she's determined to marry the man why not get a college education and then have a baby when finances and career are stable. You can discuss that. W/a 20 year old woman you can't say much to deter her, but you can give her food for thought and some goals for her future.
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Post by freecharlie on Apr 6, 2016 23:23:02 GMT
Honestly there isn't much you can say. Does she have a friend who would smack her upside the head?
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Post by annabella on Apr 6, 2016 23:28:27 GMT
I had a friend who dated losers and I always told her she needs to only date men with good "careers" not jobs because when the relationship doesn't work out, he can afford to pay child support.
I would tell her to wait until she's 25 to have a kid so she can enjoy your youth, party every weekend, and spend her whole paycheck on herself.
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Post by Zee on Apr 6, 2016 23:32:10 GMT
I don't know, is she my daughter in this scenario or just someone I know?
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