What's something you've cooked...

I burned an omelette for DH last week. He choked down half of it before apologizing and said he couldn't eat any more!!! I botch things very regularly so he's used to it. I'm very half-assed about cooking!

roast beef. everyone says "oh it's so simple, you can't screw it up". yes, you most certainly can. more than once.

that is why when my mom invites me for sunday dinner or a birthday dinner and she says "how about a ham" i reply "how about roast beef, i can make a ham".

We like hot and spicy. Last week I made chicken and fideo that was so hot it wasn't edible. I make it all the time but last time it was so hot it was bitter. Ugh!

Yep! Me too! I get distracted by my kids way too much!

I made some quite awful chicken spaetzle soup by tossing in too much onion.

I can cook many things. Complicated things.

However, I can not cook rice to save my life.

I have killed more pots of rice (also hard-boiled eggs) than I can count. It's fine if I'm cooking right at dinner time and I'm ready to take it off the stove the instant it's done. But if I cook it earlier in the day in order to have cooked rice ready for something, and go about my other business while it cooks ... forget about it. I almost always do forget about it and have to toss it out. Sometimes I've had to toss out two pots in a row.

Don't suggest I try using, oh, say, a kitchen timer?!? A rice cooker?!? That would make too much sense. Nope, I continue to believe every.single.time I'm going to remember to drop what I'm doing 20 minutes from now and take the rice off the stove.

Once when I was kid (I baked a lot), I made chocolate chip cookies and forgot to add the flour/salt/baking soda mix. Couldn't figure out why they were so runny. Put some in the oven anyway, and then my neighbor came by. I told her my problem and she asked if I put the flour in them?

Now I just make a little well for the salt and baking soda and fluff it with a fork in the same bowl as the creamed sugar and butter after I dump in the flour. I also like not dirtying two bowls. I've done this for years and have never had a problem with this. --the exception is pound cake and chiffon cake--or anything else that needs the flour and wet ingredients added in small amounts. Just dumping in everything will make the cakes not have the right texture.

You also can't sub self rising flour in pound cakes--they'll fall.  

I also have a problem toasting things--there is such a fine edge between done and burnt. I toasted dh's waffles the other morning. They wouldn't brown, wouldn't brown, and then burnt on the edges. I flipped them, etc. It's a really great oven, too. It's a Breville and makes great baked goods--8x8 pan.

My grandma had a hard time with burnt toast. She'd scrape off the burnt edges with a butter knife--works really well. My grandfather called them yakky-doodles because of the sound of them scraping in the sink and then the clatter of the knife because my grandma would get frustrated. They grew up in the depression and hated wasting food. 

I tried to make some ribeye steaks the other day. They were on sale at Whole Foods--really really nice ones. We were going to do Alton Brown's dry age method. I've done it before. You get two shallow plastic containers with lids and nest them with a few inches of space between the top and bottom. To get air circulation, you put holes in the bottom of the top container--I used my pronged grill fork and heated it on the gas stove--the plastic melted superquick. The air circulates, and the steaks lose some moisture which concentrates the flavour. I guess there wasn't enough air because the steaks went bad and didn't age. They went from fine to rotten overnight. I felt so bad. 

Eggs can be really hard. They're easy to mess up--cook a bit too long or not enough. When restaurants hire new chefs, eggs is a very common dish to show off a chef's skill. 

Jello.
Yep.
Not really cooked, but it did require something hot.
In my defense, I was pregnant at the time, so I blame it is that...

I have trouble with brown rice. I can cook several varieties of white rice perfectly -- like if I want "sticky" or "fluffy" or "separate grains" I know what to buy and how to cook it. So I can't figure out what the heck goes wrong with the brown rice. I can read the directions as to amount of water and time -- I know it takes more water and more time. But it either comes out not cooked on the top layer, or it's kind of gooey. Either way I never like it. So now we eat just white rice.

This one's going to sound really stupid, but Rice Krispy Bars! Every once in a while I'll think, "Ah, these old marshmallows will work." Um, NO, they DON'T. Not ever! The resulting bars turn out hard as a rock every time. I can't tell you how many times I've had to throw away marshmallows or Rice Krispies because one or the other or both are stale before I ever get around to making a pan of bars.