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Post by aljack on Apr 18, 2016 22:54:36 GMT
My GF came into work today looking rather meek and sad. A few of us approached her to see if she was okay. She said she had an argument with her husband because his 84 year old mother had given her some hand me down clothes to wear. She didn't want to wear any of them but her husband was insistent that she try them on to make his mother happy. She tried on a few but didn't like them in an attempt to appease him. Min you there is a 40 year age gap so the style didn't suit her. Her husband said she needed to "suck it up" and wear a shirt, pair of pants, etc once in awhile to keep the peace. She really felt undervalued, unappreciated, and flat out creeped out by the discussion. She has been married for ten years to this man. His mother buys him and her clothes, but she doesn't like her taste so she generally accepts, thanks her, places in closet for some time, and then donates after a year. Just wow! I cant even...
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Apr 18, 2016 23:42:04 GMT
The husband needs to get his balls out of mama's purse. If he hasn't stood up to her by now, and picked his wife over his mom, he never will. She can live with it or move on. Sad.
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Post by cawoman on Apr 18, 2016 23:44:58 GMT
Shaking my head. Ridiculous!
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quiltz
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,840
Location: CANADA
Jun 29, 2014 16:13:28 GMT
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Post by quiltz on Apr 18, 2016 23:45:41 GMT
Yikes
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SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,406
Location: Dallas Texas
Jun 26, 2014 12:16:22 GMT
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Post by SabrinaP on Apr 18, 2016 23:48:09 GMT
Does mama live with them? How will she know if she wears the clothes? So stupid!
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marimoose
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,282
Jul 22, 2014 2:10:14 GMT
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Post by marimoose on Apr 18, 2016 23:53:26 GMT
All I can say is "OH HELL NO!" World War III would be likely to commence in my house if my husband told me to suck it up, especially in terms of my clothing.
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Post by aljack on Apr 19, 2016 0:21:23 GMT
Does mama live with them? How will she know if she wears the clothes? So stupid! No she lives about ten minutes away. This is a second marriage for both. I would probably suggest that he wear the clothes himself if he is that concerned. I know there is more going on. There has to be?
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 19, 2016 0:22:58 GMT
Whaaaaat? I felt like I was reading something that was going to have a punchline at the end. She needs to stop trying to appease both of them and say no means no. That is all kinds of wrong.
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Post by christine58 on Apr 19, 2016 0:29:27 GMT
FOO???
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Post by hop2 on Apr 19, 2016 0:34:04 GMT
I'm not very fashion forward. I know you'll all gasp in surprise when you read that being a long time pea and all. But In the scenario you presented I would NOT 'suck it up' to wear things that weren't my style. I mean I might consider it if the gift giver was the sweetest and the husband was nice about it, but still my decision! PLUS it's hand me downs not gifts. WTH? But in the bordering on controlling, weird, rude, scenario you presented no way! Yeah, I'll say there's got to be more going on there. I feel bad for your friend. Just be there for her, all you can do.
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Post by melrose on Apr 19, 2016 0:36:03 GMT
Short for FUBAR, I'm assuming....
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Post by lucyg on Apr 19, 2016 0:38:18 GMT
oh hell NO (I wouldn't even wear clothes my husband gave me if I didn't like them, not more than once, anyway) and what does FOO stand for?
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Post by lisacharlotte on Apr 19, 2016 0:38:51 GMT
My GF came into work today looking rather meek and sad. A few of us approached her to see if she was okay. She said she had an argument with her husband because his 84 year old mother had given her some hand me down clothes to wear. She didn't want to wear any of them but her husband was insistent that she try them on to make his mother happy. She tried on a few but didn't like them in an attempt to appease him. Min you there is a 40 year age gap so the style didn't suit her. Her husband said she needed to "suck it up" and wear a shirt, pair of pants, etc once in awhile to keep the peace. She really felt undervalued, unappreciated, and flat out creeped out by the discussion. She has been married for ten years to this man. His mother buys him and her clothes, but she doesn't like her taste so she generally accepts, thanks her, places in closet for some time, and then donates after a year. Just wow! I cant even... After 10 years of marriage I doubt this is a new situation. She's put up with it for 10 years, only she can decide if she wants to continue.
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Post by Yubon Peatlejuice on Apr 19, 2016 0:49:46 GMT
What's a FOO?
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Post by yoko on Apr 19, 2016 0:54:19 GMT
oh hell NO (I wouldn't even wear clothes my husband gave me if I didn't like them, not more than once, anyway) and what does FOO stand for? I was afraid it would be something about my Number One Laminated List man, Dave Grohl. lol Whew!
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Post by Yubon Peatlejuice on Apr 19, 2016 0:55:11 GMT
Short for FUBAR, I'm assuming.... oh for fuck sake
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Apr 19, 2016 1:02:28 GMT
weird
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Post by aljack on Apr 19, 2016 1:08:46 GMT
FOO- family of origin It pertains to unhealthy boundaries or abuse a child learns in their family of origin while growing up. One essentially stores the experiences and accepts the behavior as acceptable. If unhealthy boundaries or abuse is part of upbringing, the child is likely to adopt this point of view in their adult relationships.
Sorry, I use this acronym often in my college classes when discussing scenarios with peers.
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Post by aljack on Apr 19, 2016 1:09:55 GMT
Short for FUBAR, I'm assuming.... I guess that works too! Ha ha!
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Post by lancermom on Apr 19, 2016 1:13:28 GMT
My MIL does this too. She thinks the whole family has to to be matchy matchy. We all were to to wear t shirts with flags on it one Fourth of July. I did, but that was it. My SIL tries to give me her clothes, I kindly say no. She used to bring her crap over and tell me what to wear. Um I dress my age, not 40 years older. I told my DH to get them to stop. He did, he just said, please don't buy, we don't have same taste. It got to the point I had to be rude, being polite was not working.
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Post by bc2ca on Apr 19, 2016 1:14:30 GMT
I can't even begin to imagine being in this scenario. I don't know any culture where it is common for adults to hand-me-down clothes amongst family members unless it was maybe an heirloom wedding dress.
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Post by anniefb on Apr 19, 2016 1:31:05 GMT
Weird.
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Apr 19, 2016 1:35:22 GMT
Wear my mother-in-law's old clothes?!?! Bwahahahahaha!
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GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,452
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on Apr 19, 2016 1:44:08 GMT
Um, No! I can buy my own clothes, thank you. And if DH wants someone to wear them then he should.
My MIL gave me a jacket from the late 50's early 60's. I have never worn it. But it is hanging in my closet. Actually IIRC, I wore it once as part of a costume. LOL!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 30, 2024 8:22:18 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2016 1:47:10 GMT
I will admit to wearing really ugly items of clothing my grandma got me but ONLY in her presence. This is ridiculous!
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,314
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Apr 19, 2016 1:47:17 GMT
Short for FUBAR, I'm assuming.... I guess that works too! Ha ha! What's FUBAR? what's a creepy fubar even?
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Sept 30, 2024 8:22:18 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 19, 2016 1:49:04 GMT
FOO- family of origin It pertains to unhealthy boundaries or abuse a child learns in their family of origin while growing up. One essentially stores the experiences and accepts the behavior as acceptable. If unhealthy boundaries or abuse is part of upbringing, the child is likely to adopt this point of view in their adult relationships. Sorry, I use this acronym often in my college classes when discussing scenarios with peers. Family of origin isn't just for those with unhealthy families. It just means the family you were born into or adopted in to. My degree is in Family Studies and Human Development, we used it a lot in my classes. Although, I do agree that the majority of the time it was used for pathology purposes.
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lesley
Drama Llama
My best friend Turriff, desperately missed.
Posts: 7,292
Location: Scotland, Scotland, Scotland
Jul 6, 2014 21:50:44 GMT
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Post by lesley on Apr 19, 2016 1:49:42 GMT
Wear my mother-in-law's old clothes?!?! Bwahahahahaha! What a bizarre idea!
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Post by hop2 on Apr 19, 2016 2:08:39 GMT
Um, No! I can buy my own clothes, thank you. And if DH wants someone to wear them then he should. My MIL gave me a jacket from the late 50's early 60's. I have never worn it. But it is hanging in my closet. Actually IIRC, I wore it once as part of a costume. LOL! i didn't get the impression that the 'hand me downs' were vintage. Lol Or is it Hammy downs? ha
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Post by peasapie on Apr 19, 2016 2:20:50 GMT
I guess that works too! Ha ha! What's FUBAR? what's a creepy fubar even? F***ed Up Beyond All Repair. I think it's an old military term, like SNAFU (Situation Normal, All F***ed Up) Never heard of FOO ever, and I'm not even sure I understand that definition. Does it mean if your family laughs at fart jokes, you do too? I agree with telling Norman to wear his mama's clothes.
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