Going to Mayo & DH.....

Yes it sounds like terrible timing and will be an added source of stress before and after if you regret your decisions. Do you have a trusted friend or family member that could either help you make decisions or convince your hubby you need to wait?

Picking out fixtures is not necessary for the building to be completed on time.  Maybe your husband is showing his anxiety about your illness by wanting this decision done by you, before anything could happen or any diagnosis of your illness at Mayo.

Men can be weird that way. 

Positive thoughts for you.

I'm sorry your having so much trouble with your health.
I am a long time patient of the Mayo Clinic for my congenital heart condition. It was hard to find a pediatric cardiologist for an adult, but now I have a team there. I go back and forth between Mayo and PCH (Phoenix Childrens) as my dr does both depending on my insurance. I love Mayo as all my record and tests are done in one place. If my lung dr looks at me my cardiologist can look at them in one place. All my tests are done there- sometimes same day. I'll go in the morning have my tests done and then the dr later in the afternoon. I don't mind it now. I'd be lost without it.
 I understand the eplipsy too my MIL had it as well. She struggled to keep a clear mind but in her later years she struggled more with it. She lived a long life 75. She was fairly ok till the very end. I hope that you find some relief at Mayo. It's a great system. I never really have to wait long there either. It a very well run place.

As far as your house stuff maybe it could be a good distraction. Sometimes I need something else to focus on when things get too overwhelming. It's something to look forward to? Then you'll have new things when you're feeling better even if it seems like too much right now? Does that make sense. I know it's hard to wrap your brain around life when you're not functioning properly. Much hugs and luck to you.

You are not wrong for wanting to wait. It makes complete sense. I wouldn't want to make those decisions right now either.

However, I can understand your husband wanting to keep moving forward. I'm guessing this house is something positive for you both as a couple, and gives him something to work toward and remain hopeful about. So it makes complete sense that he would want you to keep making decisions about the house that you two will soon be living in.

It's just a coping technique. I'm sure he is terrified of what the future holds for you and for your relationship with him.

I did a ktichen remodel long distance. I decided whatever my dh picked..or chose on decisions..it was better than what I had before..so he made the decisions. 30 yrs later I don't regret this. tell dh it can wait or you decide.

I can totally understand how you're feeling overwhelmed right now and not wanting to focus on the house, but on your health instead. Maybe DH can narrow it down and you can decide between two of each item? Make him do the legwork.

I think maybe that is your hubby's way of dealing with your illness. Business as usual means nothing bad will happen.

He might just be trying to kept things as smooth and normal for you and your family, delays in construction are a pain in the butt and he might just be trying to save you the hassle and stress down the road, because if you think about it, if you don't decide now, it WILL be something left in your plate and more likely pressing when you return.

Perhaps if the contractor explained why the decisions need to be made now, it would help you make up your mind how you want to handle this. Sometimes making the decisions early means the builder can get better prices, and that might be why they want the decisions made now.

Do you have a look or style you are trying to attain with your house? Maybe if you determined that for each room, it would make the decisions easier for someone else to narrow down for you. That would help a bunch.

I understand about not having a clear mind or being able to make decsions. I had major vertigo, 24/7 for two year and could not see well cause of it. Keeping thoughts in my head was hard. At times it even hurt to concentrate. Looking back now, I can not understand how I did it. I would not want to live in a house now that decisions were made on during that time of my life.

Perhaps if you explained to your husband that deicisons made now would be suspect and perhaps poor decisions then he would understand a little better.