Deleted
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Sept 30, 2024 0:26:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 22, 2016 13:58:22 GMT
... and now I think I am going to leave her for another woman.
I have been going to the same girl for 10 years or so and I really like her. She's a sweet person, prices are reasonable, and when I go to get my haircut we talk and laugh and I enjoy her company (I know that is not a criteria for everyone, but I can't stand going to hairdressers that I can't talk to).
The problem is, no matter WHAT I ask for, I get the same haircut. If I went in and said, "I want a purple mohawk with a mullet underneath" I would basically get the same exact haircut that I always get. So I have really been wanting to make a change and I know I won't get it from her. So I was looking on the internet and found a swanky salon not far from where I work. I made an appointment, feeling incredibly guilty, and went last night.
OMG. The salon was a LOT more expensive, but really cool and funky with great music playing. They gave me coconut tea! The hairstylist wore a freaking HOLSTER with different kinds of scissors in it. I got the best haircut I ever had, exactly what I wanted. And we talked and laughed and had a good time, too, so it's not like she was snotty and I was intimidated or something.
So now I have a dilemma. I only want to go to this new salon from now on. But I feel so bad about the other girl. I have never once run into her in town the whole time I've been going to her, but watch I'll probably trip over her every time I leave the house now.
I am pretty sure this has been discussed before, but if anyone feels like chiming in to tell me I am a terrible person, or to give me moral support, feel free!
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JustTricia
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,842 
Location: Indianapolis
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Post by JustTricia on Apr 22, 2016 14:05:29 GMT
I would let her know that your schedule has changed and you had to find something closer to work. It's a stretch, but not a lie. Your schedule did change in that you want to take care of haircuts while closer to work rather than closer to home.
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YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,432
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Post by YooHoot on Apr 22, 2016 14:08:15 GMT
Sometimes a change is good. Tell her you got a gift card to the new salon.
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Post by peano on Apr 22, 2016 14:08:17 GMT
I don't think you're a terrible person at all--in fact, I applaud your cojones. I am so near cheating on my hairdresser of 12 years, as I've become super unhappy with him and the last three times I've gone, I left angry at myself for not making the jump. A restaurant has opened in the building and the kitchen is apparently directly over his shop. So in addition to the already annoying stuff, there was the new issue of noise. Just a non-ending collection of crashes and bangs and glass breaking the entire time I was there.
I ordinarily do not have trouble with asserting my needs, but for this, I need an intervention. Someone please give me permission to leave.
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YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,432
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Post by YooHoot on Apr 22, 2016 14:12:24 GMT
I don't think you're a terrible person at all--in fact, I applaud your cojones. I am so near cheating on my hairdresser of 12 years, as I've become super unhappy with him and the last three times I've gone, I left angry at myself for not making the jump. A restaurant has opened in the building and the kitchen is apparently directly over his shop. So in addition to the already annoying stuff, there was the new issue of noise. Just a non-ending collection of crashes and bangs and glass breaking the entire time I was there. I ordinarily do not have trouble with asserting my needs, but for this, I need an intervention. Someone please give me permission to leave. Granted. Find a new place, get a referral from someone you see with cute hair. I stopped going to a girl that I genuinely liked because I said take an inch off and she took 3. Wtf? |
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Post by peano on Apr 22, 2016 14:18:15 GMT
I don't think you're a terrible person at all--in fact, I applaud your cojones. I am so near cheating on my hairdresser of 12 years, as I've become super unhappy with him and the last three times I've gone, I left angry at myself for not making the jump. A restaurant has opened in the building and the kitchen is apparently directly over his shop. So in addition to the already annoying stuff, there was the new issue of noise. Just a non-ending collection of crashes and bangs and glass breaking the entire time I was there. I ordinarily do not have trouble with asserting my needs, but for this, I need an intervention. Someone please give me permission to leave. Granted. Find a new place, get a referral from someone you see with cute hair. I stopped going to a girl that I genuinely liked because I said take an inch off and she took 3. Wtf? Thanks! I already have a place I'm looking at that a friend told me about. |
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Apr 22, 2016 14:28:23 GMT
I don't think you're a terrible person at all--in fact, I applaud your cojones. I am so near cheating on my hairdresser of 12 years, as I've become super unhappy with him and the last three times I've gone, I left angry at myself for not making the jump. A restaurant has opened in the building and the kitchen is apparently directly over his shop. So in addition to the already annoying stuff, there was the new issue of noise. Just a non-ending collection of crashes and bangs and glass breaking the entire time I was there. I ordinarily do not have trouble with asserting my needs, but for this, I need an intervention. Someone please give me permission to leave. Granted. Find a new place, get a referral from someone you see with cute hair. I stopped going to a girl that I genuinely liked because I said take an inch off and she took 3. Wtf? I once asked for a trim, she took off about 5-6 inches. Took me over a year to grow it back. my hairstylist is my sister so it's hard to "break up" with her. :/ |
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Apr 22, 2016 14:28:30 GMT
I say go for it!
I live in a really small town don't even gave a traffic light lol. I went to the same hair dresser for years. She was the same way super nice always had a great visit but every time I went I got the same cut and color no matter what I asked for! Oh and every time I got a cut and color I was there a minimum of 3 hrs!
So for me to go to a new hair stylist in my town was a huge deal because not only was it a super small town but we did hang out socially once and awhile.
A gf had told me about another stylist from our town and I decided to go for it and I haven't looked back.
Her shop is much more hip. I always come out with something different and fun. It's just a cool place to hang out. I always get compliments on my hair now. She talked me in going away from a bang straight across to an angled bang and I love it. Oh and I am out of there in half the time!
I don't think you need any explanation because it's you not her lol.
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Post by mikklynn on Apr 22, 2016 15:16:41 GMT
Go for it. It's your hair and your life. There is nothing to feel guilty about.
I once cheated on my hairdresser and had to call her to fix the terrible perm I was given (80's). Luckily she is a good friend.
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
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Posts: 7,402
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on Apr 22, 2016 15:59:50 GMT
She is a hairdresser, not your best friend. She won't miss you.
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christinec68
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,379
Location: New York, NY
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Post by christinec68 on Apr 22, 2016 16:05:54 GMT
I wouldn't worry about it. It's your hair, your time and your money and you can go where ever you want to get your hair cut. I wouldn't worry about running into her (since you haven't in 10 years) but on the off chance you do and she mentions something, just be casual about it. People change hairdressers all the time.
And I am glad you found a place you love and got such a great cut!!
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Apr 22, 2016 16:07:12 GMT
"I don't think you need any explanation because it's you not her lol."  It's a business transaction, first and foremost. If you're not getting the service that you're asking (and paying) for, then don't feel bad about finding another business that WILL give you the service that you want. I understand that for some reason, sometimes the relationship we have with our hairstylist feels closer than that, but truly, it's a business transaction. Go to the place that gives you the service you want. |
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Post by Bitchy Rich on Apr 22, 2016 16:10:22 GMT
I don't think you owe anyone to whom you pay for service, an explanation if you decide to go elsewhere. Hairdresser, vet, accountant, lawn service, etc. You paid for their services and you're allowed to make a switch without feeling guilty.
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MerryMom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,561
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Post by MerryMom on Apr 22, 2016 16:15:03 GMT
You are a customer, and thus, you are free to get your hair cut by someone else for whatever reason.
Why do you think you have to give a reason? Just don't re-schedule, or if you already have an appointment, call and cancel it.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Apr 22, 2016 16:22:06 GMT
I have a similar problem. I had a hair dresser for years. I moved away and now she's an hour drive. I started going to a local salon and I liked my girl there. She moved away. I went to a new hairdresser at the same place and I have to say, I am just not super happy with the haircuts she is giving me. I am thinking that my old hairdresser was probably worth the hour drive. I'm thinking of going back to old one. Don't feel guilt. It's a service and if you aren't getting good enough service, it's perfectly OK to change.
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Post by karen on Apr 22, 2016 16:48:27 GMT
I would be more concerned about the price increase, actually. If you can live with that, I say go to the new salon. You are a paying customer, you are free to go to the salon that you like the best.
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PaperAngel
Prolific Pea
Posts: 7,799
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Apr 22, 2016 17:02:26 GMT
It's business, not personal. Go to the new salon! peano - Not only are you granted permission, but I insist that you find another stylist or salon that provides the services (& environment) that you desire! |
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Post by flgirlatheart on Apr 22, 2016 17:20:41 GMT
When I left my last stylist I just wrote her a note explaining that I felt like it was time to make a change. I felt better that I at least let her know I wouldn't be making any more appointments.
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Post by bc2ca on Apr 22, 2016 17:59:31 GMT
... and now I think I am going to leave her for another woman. I have been going to the same girl for 10 years or so and I really like her. She's a sweet person, prices are reasonable, and when I go to get my haircut we talk and laugh and I enjoy her company (I know that is not a criteria for everyone, but I can't stand going to hairdressers that I can't talk to). The problem is, no matter WHAT I ask for, I get the same haircut. If I went in and said, "I want a purple mohawk with a mullet underneath" I would basically get the same exact haircut that I always get. So I have really been wanting to make a change and I know I won't get it from her. So I was looking on the internet and found a swanky salon not far from where I work. I made an appointment, feeling incredibly guilty, and went last night. OMG. The salon was a LOT more expensive, but really cool and funky with great music playing. They gave me coconut tea! The hairstylist wore a freaking HOLSTER with different kinds of scissors in it. I got the best haircut I ever had, exactly what I wanted. And we talked and laughed and had a good time, too, so it's not like she was snotty and I was intimidated or something. So now I have a dilemma. I only want to go to this new salon from now on. But I feel so bad about the other girl. I have never once run into her in town the whole time I've been going to her, but watch I'll probably trip over her every time I leave the house now.I am pretty sure this has been discussed before, but if anyone feels like chiming in to tell me I am a terrible person, or to give me moral support, feel free! The bolded is exactly what happened to me  . I had even moved with this hairdresser when she changed salons and she cut my kids' hair, too. She wasn't listening to what I wanted to do and DS (with very curly hair) wasn't getting what he wanted, so we made a switch. About 6 months later, DS and I ran into her at the movie theater. It was a little awkward, but we had a chat, she told me she really liked my hair and gave me her card  . I think your relationship with a hairdresser is more intimate than an accountant or lawyer, but she is still providing a service and needs to listen to you. I go from long to short to long, bangs to no bangs to bangs again, regular coloring to embracing the gray and sometimes it is hard to bring a longtime hairdresser on that ride. |
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Post by mellowyellow on Apr 22, 2016 18:08:43 GMT
Life is too short for a boring haircut! I say go to the new salon and enjoy your new style!
I love the guy I use. I have really short hair with cow licks and he cuts it flawless every time. I literally have both men and women compliment my hair. One lady even asked to take a picture of it. LOL!
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Post by Delta Dawn on Apr 22, 2016 18:20:37 GMT
Is your hairdresser your BFF or a relative? If not you wouldn't stay with the same bank if they didn't deliver the services you liked. You wouldn't shop at Macy's if you couldn't get the brand you like. Why stay with a hairdresser if you can't get the hair cut you want? You don't owe her an explanation. You don't don't owe her anything. It is a business and first and foremost she knows customers come and go.
Now I did call and yell at my mother's hair dresser as she was on cocaine and alcohol at the time of her hair cut and she did a terrible job. If you do coke and try to do cut my mom's hair and mess up you will feel the wrath of me. She offered my mom a line if she wanted one that's how I know she was doing drugs. Not to mention the fact you could smell the alcohol on her and I did NOT want a short one when I went to see her. Ugh.
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Post by cyndijane on Apr 22, 2016 18:26:02 GMT
Granted. Find a new place, get a referral from someone you see with cute hair. I stopped going to a girl that I genuinely liked because I said take an inch off and she took 3. Wtf? I once asked for a trim, she took off about 5-6 inches. Took me over a year to grow it back. my hairstylist is my sister so it's hard to "break up" with her. :/ Hijack: Freebird, I knew there must be an opposite to me *somewhere* in the universe. My hair grows so ridiculously fast, that same 5-6 inches on my head would be back in 4 months. I only wish I were kidding.
My problem has always been, when I find a fantastic stylist I love, I'll get one- maybe two- appointments, and then something happens. She moves, or has a baby, or gets married, or moves, or retires... Every. Single. Time.
Now I take pictures of the cuts I love and my great hair days, so when I have to find yet another stylist, I can show her ME with my hair cut with different styles I love on ME, not just some random model.
ETA- Totally forgot: Break up with your current stylist. Life is WAY too short to not be able to change up your hair. Plus, in my life, there are times when the ONLY thing I can change is my hair. She's nice, she won't be heartbroken.
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Post by ladytrisha on Apr 22, 2016 19:27:50 GMT
I'm in the exact same boat. I love the gal I go to - I've known her since she was in her Mom LOL She's talented, knows her color, but I come home every single time and cut a piece off my head because it sits there as if to say "yup, she left it long here AGAIN"
Sadly, I'm still looking for the magic. Got referred to one (yup and did the whole "hey a friend knew I was stressed and treated me to spa day so I'll see you 6 weeks" text). Sadly, this lady didn't talk, the chairs were small (fat girl squished up in an old dated chair with a low mirror - uhh no - at least let me pretend I'm not this heavy), plus she was REALLY boring. Oh and she was in the same salon as my former girl, who I had been told was not on duty. Uhhh ooops. So that was awkward because I left her under the dark of night after she went all Edward scissorhands on my hair to the point I had to go back and say FIX THIS!
I don't think I'm meant for salons!
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Apr 22, 2016 20:00:36 GMT
I once asked for a trim, she took off about 5-6 inches. Took me over a year to grow it back. my hairstylist is my sister so it's hard to "break up" with her. :/ Hijack: Freebird, I knew there must be an opposite to me *somewhere* in the universe. My hair grows so ridiculously fast, that same 5-6 inches on my head would be back in 4 months. I only wish I were kidding.
My problem has always been, when I find a fantastic stylist I love, I'll get one- maybe two- appointments, and then something happens. She moves, or has a baby, or gets married, or moves, or retires... Every. Single. Time.
Now I take pictures of the cuts I love and my great hair days, so when I have to find yet another stylist, I can show her ME with my hair cut with different styles I love on ME, not just some random model.
ETA- Totally forgot: Break up with your current stylist. Life is WAY too short to not be able to change up your hair. Plus, in my life, there are times when the ONLY thing I can change is my hair. She's nice, she won't be heartbroken.
Actually my hair grows pretty fast. usually about 3/4"/month (used to be an inch a month) but something about the hairstyle she did just made it so hard to put my hair back up in a ponytail so it was also that weird awkward stage too. Now I say "I want this much cut, no more" and hold up my fingers. It annoys her but I don't care. She KNOWS I have hairstylist issues so she shouldn't complain. |
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Post by jesq on Apr 22, 2016 20:09:35 GMT
I can totally relate. I have been going to the same person for 25 years. He was a client of my dad's, which is how I first met him. He has watched my kids grow up, because I frequently brought them to appointments when they were little. I go every four weeks now, for color, which he does fine and for a very reasonable price. The problem is the cuts. I think I am his youngest client by about 20 years and it shows. I always feel like I have an old lady haircut and/or that the cut he gives me is not at all what I asked for.
I would love to go somewhere else for the cut and just keep him for the color, but I feel like that would be very awkward. In addition, my mom goes to him, every week, for a blowout/style. She has occasionally invited him to Thanksgiving dinner or other holidays, so it's not like I would never see him again.
My totally non-confrontational solution has been to adopt a hairstyle that needs very little upkeep, so I'm mostly just getting color and trims. I would love to totally change my style, but don't feel comfortable having him do it.
In your situation, I think I would probably continue going to the new place, although I would definitely feel a little guilt over it.
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Post by gar on Apr 22, 2016 22:37:59 GMT
I cheated on my hairdresser with another stylist in her salon!! I was able to put it down to having to go on a different day after my work days changed and I guess it was easier because I was still patronising her business but I am so much happier with what she does. Life is too short to be unhappy about something like that and to put up with it due to misguided loyalty - it's time to go!  |
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Post by christine58 on Apr 22, 2016 22:59:38 GMT
My totally non-confrontational solution has been to adopt a hairstyle that needs very little upkeep, so I'm mostly just getting color and trims. I would love to totally change my style, but don't feel comfortable having him do it. Go to someone else....seriously...why pay for something you don't like just because...... |
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caro
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Post by caro on Apr 22, 2016 23:47:57 GMT
I did that once. I did the unthinkable. I started going to another girl in the same shop and only came in when the first girl had her day off.  my excuse.....my young and stupid days. I should have manned up and just told her I wasn't happy but I'm chicken like that. lol |
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Deleted
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Sept 30, 2024 0:26:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Apr 23, 2016 1:29:04 GMT
My problem has always been, when I find a fantastic stylist I love, I'll get one- maybe two- appointments, and then something happens. She moves, or has a baby, or gets married, or moves, or retires... Every. Single. Time. OMG! That has happened to me more times than I count! That's another reason I like my "old" girl, I think she is part owner or something, she's always there and seems to be in charge when the other lady isn't round. Well, you have all given me some good advice - I mean you are right, I am a client, we aren't really "friends," but it does seem to me a more intimate relationship than you would have with like a bank teller. So, I will probably make the change but still feel slightly guilty... |
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Apr 23, 2016 5:17:27 GMT
I so want a new hairdresser. I am stuck though. It's such a small town. Her daughter owns the shop and does my nails. I would have to drive an hour into a much larger town to get my nails down if I changed. How could I go in there every 3 weeks if I stopped going there to get my hair done kwim?
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my excuse.....my young and stupid days. I should have manned up and just told her I wasn't happy but I'm chicken like that. lol